All the poems belong to me and Kuroda Jin'no (my persona )© me (jiiiderexxc, vk)

DISCLAIMER
warning read at your own risk.. if you feel unhappy or depressed after reading them I am not responsible...



Poem 1

Fading Away



Slowly fading, slowly being forgotten
Like one;s existance has been ignored
Like one;s existance has been forgotten
Fading from adoration, fading from attention

What happened ?
Did everyone leave?
Now I see, I was a Nobody
in this world, where things
are never Forever

Losing touch, losing drive
slowly falling away
as the memory fades
So do I fall away
Into my despair
without returning



poem 2

Out of Reach


These thoughts still won't end
You are always there in my mind
You were always there in my heart
But no matter what I did, you were still out of reach


being with you is a half delusion
You are there, but not next to me
The desire in my heart
Is starting to eat me.

Distracting myself with delusions
Wasting my time and life
Felling that I may never change
I still crave your presence

these feeling I am unsure
will they be returned as well
that is still a mystery now
as this pain eats me till I die.



poem 3


A waste



Wasted my time thinking of you
wasted my tears crying for you
wasted my prayers that i did for you
wasted my love that you took and threw

Why did I fall for a person like you
Pretend to be nice, but was actually a fool
Fell for your charms, now i have been cut
Bleeding all over, regretting it all

I was stupid, I was blind
love is a drug and a poison sometimes
Now that it is over I know that I'm free
from a person like you that was so care free

You lied and dissapered
and was hiding somewhere near
when I found you, i felt Euphoria and Rage
now i will cut you off for good
(edit 2020)
i was irrational and foolish .
i let my emotions and ego take over
the thing i regret the most was
being mean to you
you were the one that i loved
the one that i cared
these words here were from a bleeding person
now that i have healed.
i see the errors that i have made
how stupid was I
i destroyed something that made me happy
your presence
not you will never speak to me
my words have cut you deep
bleed you out
your lips are sealed
and eyes forever blinded to me
i see that youre happy.
i guess its karma
for me to suffer
without you even as a friend


poem 4


The Scarlet Flower of Relief


I don't have to prick my hand no more
I don't have to Lie to myself No more
I dont have to say I love you No more
I dont have to care for you no more

He was a jerk in a nice mask
my feelings he did not feel
As i poured them like waterfalls
He just ignored them for his own self

I am relieved
I am free
From this person
I say good bye

I can now look for someone who can truly love me...



poem 5


A room Island


So cold, so painful
where a room is like an island
a city, another planet
Knives to my head, Nails on through my feet

I am not trapped here
But I am chained up
by thoughts that weigh me down
the meaning of loneliness has many meanings

"My fault" my mind says
"My stupidity" my heart says
Cant move or run
the feeling of despair drowns me

Where can i really seek comfort
without any effort
well that's life
Nothing is granted.