A recipe written for  ~faccc2

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I've been kinda extra depressed recently, so I've been dragging my feet when it comes to doing any sort of writing, much less writing a recipe. I'm clawing my way back to functionality, and I figured doing a quick recipe might be a good step to take. I'm a bit of a nocturnal bean (a big part as to why I chose pallid bat as my current fursona), and sometimes it's good to make something that is still tasty warmed up in the middle of the night. So I give you my mac n' cheese!

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Ingredients:
Heavy whipping cream (~ 1 pint or a ½ liter)
Milk (~ 1 pint or ½ a liter)
Butter (~ ¼ cup or 50 grams)
Good melting cheeses* (total of ~ 2-½ pounds or 1 kg, cut into small pieces or shredded)
Trottole pasta (~ 1 pound or a ½ kg)
Yellow onion (1 large, sliced thin)
Leek** (1 large, sliced thin)
Thick cut bacon (~ 1 pound or a ½ kg, cut into small chunks)
Frying oil***
Garlic powder
Marjoram
Cumin
A cheap-ish rum or brandy (not much is needed... maybe 3 oz?)


* So this is kind of a subjective statement. For this particular recipe I used did a 2:2:1 mix of a good sharp white cheddar, pepper jack, and cream cheese. Other good melting cheeses to use include Butterkäse, red wax gouda, raclette, American Muenster, a creamy bloomy rind cheese (I personally love st. angel). Keep your budgets in mind, though, yes a nice Swiss Emmentaler is delicious and flavourful, but it's also stupid expensive. I usually do budget cheeses, personally, and I get more eatery cheeses for putting together cheese boards and stuff.

** You're only gonna wanna use the white part of the leek, not the tough green tops. Also the way leeks are usually picked they have a lot of dirt in those folds so rinse it out really well. Also as you go up the stalk take off the outer layer off when it starts to get tough and green, and give it another rinse.

*** I usually use canola, olive, or vegetable oil for frying. But please PLEASE DO NOT USE EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL! It is unreasonably expensive, has a stupid low smoke point, and should only be used for dressings.

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Directions

So timing can be a bit tricky with this, and mac n' cheese is deceptively hard. You will be working on 3 burners, and you will need to multitask a bit. I'm right handed, so I usually put my pasta on the back right burner, my mornay (cheese sauce) on the front right, and the frying pan on the left side. Ultimately if you time it right you'll start your mornay before the water boils, finish cooking the pasta first, followed by the veg and bacon, and finish the mornay last.

~ Boil water for your pasta. (for real just follow the directions on the package for the right cook time... I doubt any of you out there in internet land are making your own trottole pasta, and if you are I have confidence you know how long to cook your pasta)

~Pour your milk, cream, and butter into a sauce pan and bring it to a boil on high and scald the milk. It'll kinda boil up a sort of “skin” and smell really sweet when it scalds. After it scalds drop the temperature to medium. You will see butter fats sort of sitting on the top of the cream, so use a whisk to mix those fats in before mixing in your first handful of cheese. NOTE: your mornay will spit hot milk and cheese at you a fair bit while you cook, especially if you haven't whisked it in a few seconds, so it's advised to wear long sleeves and an apron.

~Start mixing in cheeses SLOWLY. Do really small handfuls at a time, and whisk a CONSTANTLY. Start with the softest cheeses first, and end with the hardest cheeses. Before mixing in your next handful of cheese make sure the last bit has COMPLETELY melted and emulsified into the milk. Your sauce should pretty much always have a nice creamy texture. If you put too much cheese in at once then you'll get this weird rough-looking/grainy texture, and when you see that it's usually too late to save your sauce (You can still TRY to save it by halting adding your cheese and whisking vigorously). It will break, and you will get a super liquid milky-ness with a weird clumpy glop of semi-molten cheese at the bottom. Cubed and shredded cheeses each kinda have advantages when adding them. Cubed cheeses take much longer to incorporate to into the sauce, but it's easier to keep track of how it's melting; shredded cheese melts SUPER quickly into the sauce, but it can trick you because even though it's melted it sometimes isn't emulsified yet, and if you're too eager and add in more cheese too quickly it'll break. As more cheese is incorporated into the mornay it'll get thicker and bubble less frequently, but more explosively. Also near the end of cooking the mornay it has a possibility to scorch onto the pan and burn if you're not careful to stir it enough.

~While your pasta is boiling fry your leeks and onions on high, and give them some color; just stir it occasionally, checking on it between handfuls of cheese. This is where the ambidexterity and multitasking comes into play.

~When your pasta is al dente strain it and put it into a large serving bowl.

~Soon after your pasta is finished your veg should be done too, so just toss that on top of the pasta and stir it up so the cooling noodles don't stick together.

~In the same pan you fried your veg toss in your bacon on high along with some garlic powder, marjoram, and cumin. Just like the veg give it color and check on it occasionally while between handfuls of cheese.

~When your bacon has a nice color to it pour some rum into the pan and use a whisk to scrape up the fond (sticky good shit stuck to the pan), and mix it over the bacon, then just pour all the contents of the pan over the pasta and veg and give it another good stir.

~ Once you've mixed all your cheese into your mornay, and made sure it's all melted and smooth go ahead and pour the sauce over the pasta and stir it up really well.

~ Serve up and eat! (Optional: if you're feeling fancy put some of the mac into a ramekin, and put some panko bread crumbs and hard cheese on top, then toss it into the oven on broil for a minute to give it color and crunch.)