I'm not one to be normally affected by my environment. Except in a very specific situation:

Furry Conventions.

It's in that one instance in which I always gets this dready sense of loneliness that borderline drives me to depression. And now said dread got worse since what happened in the past 2 years now has me with this tic of checking under my shirt for a bag that may or may not malfunction at the worst possible situation.

I want for this to change, but ever since considering FWA this year out of a whim, the dread returns once again.