I can't see how you see it as awful, I think it looks amazing... but if you don't feel good making it, you don't need to. What matters is that you like making it. I'm sorry you don't feel well from all of this

I cant see either! hahah sometimes another me,
comes into me, and blinds me......
yeah u see, ummm..... i think im really crazy person,

But what really matters is your opinion, im very happy that people comment their thoughts and whether they enjoyed the painting.

ummmm maybe what happened is a mixed of negative emotions experienced during the elaboration of it, as you said
"feel good making it"
maybe i didn't felt well doing this. i guess it will need some context to get to the root of the explanation

But, thank you for your comment!

You comment makes me breath love, ntt

hahahhaah YEAH
ROFL

i also laugh while writing it.

Thanks!

it’s okay,
I understand,
but, the first thing for me is being honest with myself and with my feelings,

If i would care about what others say, i would have never ever written anything.

because i would be lying, i wouldn’t be writing for me, but for the fear of getting bad or good opinions from others.

And.... lying, and that is something I can’t do,
but i neither want to stay quiet and say nothing,

I want to write what is truly inside me.

because honesty, opens the door to know yourself, and what is inside, is not always pretty, nor fun to read.

you don’t have to read what i write, but if you do.
you will get to know my happiness, as well as my sorrow, my sadness, and distress, I’m not hiding anything about me.

I have come to you, as bare as i can.
Even though, i wear multiple masks, my spirit is uncovered.

See, opening your heart,
let’s you see your own scars, your own mistakes, your own weakness,
is the only way you can get to know yourself, then you will know whether or not you are ready for battle.

You will know that you are weak, and must become stronger, then you will know your true power,
and when to release it.

but first, you must release yourself, learn to become free from fear.

haha, i can’t lie to you. i always see what i do, as horrible, but it's my responsibility, regardless of that, to continue, to keep moving forward and not giving up.

I have learned many things in my journey, and I believe I have grown on the inside.

I wish I could tell you, that I could write more happy things, or not so off-putting,
but that is not the reflection of my reality,

I’m still very broken on the inside, I’m looking forward to repair myself, but I won’t fix anything, if I don’t step forward and move myself into the field of battle.

hahaha, i hope you would understand.

I wish the wall that is between us, wasn't there....
...but, I wish you well.

emotions... the thing artists attempt to draw out of those who view their art...

you have this ability

in the way an idiot-savant (and I do not like that term) has a gift for formulating numbers faster than a computer, you have a gift for creating art that pulls emotions without trying...

I could hear the engines

I could feel the wind

I was riding the sky as others might only run along the dirt paths below

Do not put much though into this ability - simply accept it...

Vixyy

Hi, I read what you wrote,
obviously, haha

this whole situation reminds me to the movie,
"Good Will Hunting" haha.

Sometimes I see myself reflected in some characters.
even to the point of feeling like them.

I came to understand, that is because there is a part of myself
inside those characters, and when I seem them, is like viewing a mirror.

so strange, but I when I came to understand that,
i was able to find my flaws and strengths,
my identity and responsibility,
and even if I could say, my own mission.

A gift is an honor given to someone, a responsibility to give that gift to others.
Freely you have received; freely give.

In the right context that is, haha
I’m very fortunate to be in a situation where I can do what I do.
and live in the right level of comfort, not without pain, but enough to continue fighting.

So as long as I can paint the way I do, and send my messages in a bottle.
I Will.

-
But, just like in the end of the movie, in looking to find my own path,
The place where I could be fitting and be of use.

I wonder if there would be a time I won’t be able to post here anymore.

I don’t know exactly what the future awaits,
By I’m willing to embrace whatever destiny it has for me.

Thank you for writing.

very well said... I feel exactly the same...

*hugs...

V.

An artist is either his/her own worst critic, or he really IS bad and believes he's great. You are the former. The picture is dynamic, and while the image it paints isn't necessarily a happy one, it -is- visceral. Well done.

Thanks! Hahah now i regret what I wrote, but I was just writing what was inside my head, i know i have many flaws,
is not the first time people say I shouldn't be too hard on myself,

And well is strange to see that here online, i have never seen such a contrast before, people where I live always demand you AAA quality, and they always expect that, exchange for nothing,
it is like a form of slavery and abuse.

but....

Im trying to come to accept my flaws, so i can see them clearly, and try to fix them.
.......

.
My past, the hardships of life, and the kind of life im living is rough, my thoughts are a reflection of the kind of life i had, to be honest, many of them are the reflection of the mental abuse and pressure i have suffered from others, when you go through hard times, way too often,
you either choose to become bitter or better, and maybe also sweeter, haha. At the end I chose the latter, but after making the decision to run that race, you must be willing to train yourself, to learn, and be willing to don't give up.

I have engraved a part of my life here, you are able to see my past, but lets keep the hopes the future would be better.

Each artist is their own worse critic.

I think you did just fine. It sets a damn good mood of Warthogs about to return from a mission safely.

Thank you,

yeah i, kind of imagine and try to picture the situations,
feel them.

somehow be there,
live the experience in my mind
while painting it.

we all share some ideas of similar experiences,
and what you describe,
it fits very well.

More that just been my own worst critic,
the limbo between hating and loving your artwork,

but it is invaluable,
because you left a part of your soul engraved in there,

somehow, exposing yourself to everyone,
leaving you bare.

the clarity to which you can be read,
the way we read each others souls.

We look beyond one another,
beyond flesh and bones,

a stare directly into the soul.

the power of an image, that depicts the inside of your being.

as always, the images speaks more, than any other thousand words to be written.
the image is more honest, and powerful,
it does not hide itself,
just like i try to hide my true self between the lines.

but is useless, because the image speaks the truth,
way better than i do..


thanks for your comment.