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As the plane finally got over Boise and began the maneuver to land at the airport, its load of soldiers could see a strange scene in a square of the town.
They could see the giant rooster standing in the middle of it, with a mass of people all around, and a tribune too.
"What's happening?" asked Offick.
A quick look at the live feeds gave the answer: it was a semi-official ceremony where the mayor thanked the kaiju for his rescue of the burning building.
And down there, the titan was shrugging and rubbing the back of the head with a smile, indicating that he was both very awkward with all this gratefulness and enjoying it a lot.
Offick's eyes narrowed. The rooster's reaction was indisputably human-like, reinforcing his theory, and exciting his wariness.
A quick check up on more live feeds, and contact with the other groups, showed that similar "thank you" ceremonies happened in Baton Rouge (which visibly recycled some Mardi Gras decorations from La Nouvelle Orléans), Las Vegas (with loads of extravaganza, because of course) and Miami (with strong latino influences, which wasn't surprising).
And the three other kaijus had similar human-like reactions: Horace was accepting the praises and thanks with a smile and calm that implied some old age, Zeke was happily basking in them, and Frank gave some croaks that sounded a lot like some chuckles.
The colonel forced himself to stifle his growing wariness for the moment. He had to focus on the questions and the diplomacy for now.
"Well, at least he should be in a good mood and willing to talk, if he can. We stick to the plan."
"Yes, sir."
Art by
teaselbone
Original here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31362581/
Chet © me
They could see the giant rooster standing in the middle of it, with a mass of people all around, and a tribune too.
"What's happening?" asked Offick.
A quick look at the live feeds gave the answer: it was a semi-official ceremony where the mayor thanked the kaiju for his rescue of the burning building.
And down there, the titan was shrugging and rubbing the back of the head with a smile, indicating that he was both very awkward with all this gratefulness and enjoying it a lot.
Offick's eyes narrowed. The rooster's reaction was indisputably human-like, reinforcing his theory, and exciting his wariness.
A quick check up on more live feeds, and contact with the other groups, showed that similar "thank you" ceremonies happened in Baton Rouge (which visibly recycled some Mardi Gras decorations from La Nouvelle Orléans), Las Vegas (with loads of extravaganza, because of course) and Miami (with strong latino influences, which wasn't surprising).
And the three other kaijus had similar human-like reactions: Horace was accepting the praises and thanks with a smile and calm that implied some old age, Zeke was happily basking in them, and Frank gave some croaks that sounded a lot like some chuckles.
The colonel forced himself to stifle his growing wariness for the moment. He had to focus on the questions and the diplomacy for now.
"Well, at least he should be in a good mood and willing to talk, if he can. We stick to the plan."
"Yes, sir."
Art by
teaselboneOriginal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/31362581/
Chet © me
Category All / All
Species Kaiju / Giant Monster
Size 1869 x 1971px
File Size 3.15 MB
Listed in Folders
Okay! Here I am, back for another review! God, it's been such a long time since my last review. I'm so sorry about that, as I mentioned in the comment on the Cherno picture, I was engaged in another review and it took a lot longer than expected. But, I am here now, and I'm more than ready to keep going! So, without further ado, let's not waste any more time and jump right in, with 'Thanks!', of 'Kaiju Rising'!
Following on from Camo Squadron's mid-air intelligence gathering session, with a plan in motion, Offick's group's plane is beginning its approach to Boise, Idaho! However, as they come in to land, the soldiers aboard spot something very unusual unfolding in a public space - it's the rooster Kaiju! Not only that, but there are people there, lots of people, and they're celebrating! That must be the celebration for Chet's intervention in that building fire, which is great to see! Even with the building-sized rooster, it has a somewhat realistic feeling to it, which is heartwarming - I mean, many people who have survived things like building fires have celebrated because, well, they survived! So dozens of people saved from a terrible fate by a being who rivals their apartment in size would probably want to have quite the party! Not to mention, it probably helps further ease tensions that would likely arise from Chet showing up in the first place. It's something that, despite seeming a little goofy and bizarre at first, makes a fair bit of sense when you sit down and think about it and if and how it would work in the real world, which is always great - if it gets the reader thinking, then not only are they taking what you've written and looking into it more deeply, but it helps get them invested in the story and engage in suspension of disbelief. I don't see anything that jumps out as a major concern grammar-wise, 'the soldiers in it' bit could be changed up a little bit, make it read a bit more smoothly, and I think you might mean tribute rather than tribune, but nothing much really, a solid start!
Naturally, such a big event has lots of media coverage, which is helpful for the Squadron, giving them excellent footage of what's going on, and it's even bigger than it first seemed! The mayor of Boise themselves has personally thanked Chet! That's quite something, but at least things seem to be going smoothly, even if this Kaiju appears to be a bit awkward with the whole thing, but that's only to be expected! Not only is he many, many times the size of the people celebrating down below, but he's naturally not used to all of the excitement! It's a nice little touch, and those are what really make a story!
As if this wasn't surreal yet impressive enough, a quick search finds that the other three Kaiju have also been thrown celebrations, which is great to hear, and equally reassuring for Offick! As he rightly points out, if they're all in fairly good moods under such situations, they'll likely be willing to talk, or at least communicate if they're physically unable to speak. Hopefully, things will work out just fine...
All in all, this was a lovely little chapter! I do have a couple of suggestions - I think the line about Chet's experience with the celebration and the mention of the other celebrations could be improved as well, although that said, especially with the latter point there, it's hardly as if you need to go into great depth. After all, it's literally just mentioning that there's other celebrations! Honestly though, I don't think there's anything else that needs mentioning, at least nothing jumps to mind. Great job with this one man, it's so good to be back! Catch you for the next one, take care!
Following on from Camo Squadron's mid-air intelligence gathering session, with a plan in motion, Offick's group's plane is beginning its approach to Boise, Idaho! However, as they come in to land, the soldiers aboard spot something very unusual unfolding in a public space - it's the rooster Kaiju! Not only that, but there are people there, lots of people, and they're celebrating! That must be the celebration for Chet's intervention in that building fire, which is great to see! Even with the building-sized rooster, it has a somewhat realistic feeling to it, which is heartwarming - I mean, many people who have survived things like building fires have celebrated because, well, they survived! So dozens of people saved from a terrible fate by a being who rivals their apartment in size would probably want to have quite the party! Not to mention, it probably helps further ease tensions that would likely arise from Chet showing up in the first place. It's something that, despite seeming a little goofy and bizarre at first, makes a fair bit of sense when you sit down and think about it and if and how it would work in the real world, which is always great - if it gets the reader thinking, then not only are they taking what you've written and looking into it more deeply, but it helps get them invested in the story and engage in suspension of disbelief. I don't see anything that jumps out as a major concern grammar-wise, 'the soldiers in it' bit could be changed up a little bit, make it read a bit more smoothly, and I think you might mean tribute rather than tribune, but nothing much really, a solid start!
Naturally, such a big event has lots of media coverage, which is helpful for the Squadron, giving them excellent footage of what's going on, and it's even bigger than it first seemed! The mayor of Boise themselves has personally thanked Chet! That's quite something, but at least things seem to be going smoothly, even if this Kaiju appears to be a bit awkward with the whole thing, but that's only to be expected! Not only is he many, many times the size of the people celebrating down below, but he's naturally not used to all of the excitement! It's a nice little touch, and those are what really make a story!
As if this wasn't surreal yet impressive enough, a quick search finds that the other three Kaiju have also been thrown celebrations, which is great to hear, and equally reassuring for Offick! As he rightly points out, if they're all in fairly good moods under such situations, they'll likely be willing to talk, or at least communicate if they're physically unable to speak. Hopefully, things will work out just fine...
All in all, this was a lovely little chapter! I do have a couple of suggestions - I think the line about Chet's experience with the celebration and the mention of the other celebrations could be improved as well, although that said, especially with the latter point there, it's hardly as if you need to go into great depth. After all, it's literally just mentioning that there's other celebrations! Honestly though, I don't think there's anything else that needs mentioning, at least nothing jumps to mind. Great job with this one man, it's so good to be back! Catch you for the next one, take care!
Wow. It's been so long. Almost all of the time since my last review has been spent on university work, but now I am finally free. It feels so good to finally be free!
I'm back! By popular demand (by which I mean your polite request, but nevertheless), I'll be reviewing changes you've made to a work I have already reviewed, in what should be the first of a long line! The second one will come much later, but for now, let's just focus on the present - that being the changes you've made to 'Thanks!'
It's been long enough, so without further ado, let's jump right back in!
So, 'Thanks!' - the scene drawn by the excellent teaselbone with the impressively large, and surprisingly powerfully built rooster, Chet, being thanked by the people of Boise for his rescue of many people from a raging inferno! We don't know how many people exactly, but what matters the most is that he came to their rescue! Now, I've already gone over this chapter in detail in my previous reviews, so I won't focus on that. Rather, I'll focus on what I like, and what I think could be improved. I think that should be the most helpful thing to do in this scenario.
So, first off, as I've previously mentioned, I like the little celebration, it's a really sweet thing to do, and something that I also like, that I don't think I mentioned last time, is that the celebration is noticeably thrown together. Now, of course, obviously it's thrown together, but the mention of it, without going into the minutia of it all, adds just that little extra touch. Now, there's a much bigger point that comes immediately after that, and this is something that I only just realised, but I think it is a huge detail that could be emphasised a bit more! It's what Chet is doing - he's shrugging, he's rubbing the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. These are human gestures. While their demeanours make it clear that they are comfortable with such massive sizes, that's exactly the sort of gesture that suggests they've spent some time around humans. Of course, it's not definitive evidence, more circumstantial, but nevertheless, with the mystery of where these titans came from still unanswered, it's probably something Camo Squadron would like to look into!
As mentioned previously, celebrations being thrown for the other three Kaiju is a nice touch, although, they're not massively detailed. Now, of course, they don't need to be, the focus is on Chet after all, but perhaps something regarding the others would be nice, maybe mention of reactions to the Kaiju by the public and politicians, something like that. Still, the quick mention that the celebration in Las Vegas is the most extravagant of them all is a funny little detail, and a nice touch!
Other than the points raised above, I don't think there's anything else that needs to be brought up. It's still an enjoyable chapter that segues smoothly between major events in the plot and it even has just a little hint of characterisation to go with it. It's perhaps a bit short, but frankly, there's really nothing other than the points mentioned that would suggest any sort of change needs to be made.
It's been absolutely fantastic to be able to get back to reviewing! I've missed it so much! I'm sure you'll be as thrilled as I am that I can finally get back to this! I can do what I love, reading your works and offering suggestions and advice, and you get to hear what's good about your writing and what could be improved! It's been great to get back into it, and rest assured, I fully intend to keep going! So, until the next review, take care of yourself, stay safe, and have a great day!
I'm back! By popular demand (by which I mean your polite request, but nevertheless), I'll be reviewing changes you've made to a work I have already reviewed, in what should be the first of a long line! The second one will come much later, but for now, let's just focus on the present - that being the changes you've made to 'Thanks!'
It's been long enough, so without further ado, let's jump right back in!
So, 'Thanks!' - the scene drawn by the excellent teaselbone with the impressively large, and surprisingly powerfully built rooster, Chet, being thanked by the people of Boise for his rescue of many people from a raging inferno! We don't know how many people exactly, but what matters the most is that he came to their rescue! Now, I've already gone over this chapter in detail in my previous reviews, so I won't focus on that. Rather, I'll focus on what I like, and what I think could be improved. I think that should be the most helpful thing to do in this scenario.
So, first off, as I've previously mentioned, I like the little celebration, it's a really sweet thing to do, and something that I also like, that I don't think I mentioned last time, is that the celebration is noticeably thrown together. Now, of course, obviously it's thrown together, but the mention of it, without going into the minutia of it all, adds just that little extra touch. Now, there's a much bigger point that comes immediately after that, and this is something that I only just realised, but I think it is a huge detail that could be emphasised a bit more! It's what Chet is doing - he's shrugging, he's rubbing the back of his head with an embarrassed smile. These are human gestures. While their demeanours make it clear that they are comfortable with such massive sizes, that's exactly the sort of gesture that suggests they've spent some time around humans. Of course, it's not definitive evidence, more circumstantial, but nevertheless, with the mystery of where these titans came from still unanswered, it's probably something Camo Squadron would like to look into!
As mentioned previously, celebrations being thrown for the other three Kaiju is a nice touch, although, they're not massively detailed. Now, of course, they don't need to be, the focus is on Chet after all, but perhaps something regarding the others would be nice, maybe mention of reactions to the Kaiju by the public and politicians, something like that. Still, the quick mention that the celebration in Las Vegas is the most extravagant of them all is a funny little detail, and a nice touch!
Other than the points raised above, I don't think there's anything else that needs to be brought up. It's still an enjoyable chapter that segues smoothly between major events in the plot and it even has just a little hint of characterisation to go with it. It's perhaps a bit short, but frankly, there's really nothing other than the points mentioned that would suggest any sort of change needs to be made.
It's been absolutely fantastic to be able to get back to reviewing! I've missed it so much! I'm sure you'll be as thrilled as I am that I can finally get back to this! I can do what I love, reading your works and offering suggestions and advice, and you get to hear what's good about your writing and what could be improved! It's been great to get back into it, and rest assured, I fully intend to keep going! So, until the next review, take care of yourself, stay safe, and have a great day!
Ha ha! Yes, I am! I'm back! At long, long, long last! It's great to see you're so happy man, I'm genuinely thrilled you're happy! One of the main things I want in life is to help make people happy, so if you're happy, I'm happy! Plus, I also have your excellent works to also make me happy!
Speaking of which, don't worry about it, I understand completely! Besides, as long as I know you've seen it, and I have some kind of response, that's all I care about! If you need a bit of extra time to get it up, that's totally fine by me!
For those changes you've made, wow, I'm impressed! They're relatively small changes, but they've added quite a lot, more than I was expecting when I read your reply, so take pride in that! It's nice to hear about differences in the celebrations and their decors, it makes them more unique and helps them stand out. It's almost a shame we can't see them too, but hey, such is the way with your very unique style of storytelling! You might not have long chapters of text all the time, but you've got some amazing visuals to go with them! Furthermore, not only have you done a nice job of differentiating the celebrations, but the way you've woven in characterisation is fantastic, I was very impressed indeed! Sure, it is a case of show, not tell, but we've already been over that. Besides, honestly, it doesn't really matter, getting little glimpses of who the Kaiju are as individuals is really fascinating! All round, some absolutely stellar work!
Thank you so much for the warm welcome back, it's fantastic to be back! Happily, I'll be back with the next one sooner! Until then, take care and have a great day!
Speaking of which, don't worry about it, I understand completely! Besides, as long as I know you've seen it, and I have some kind of response, that's all I care about! If you need a bit of extra time to get it up, that's totally fine by me!
For those changes you've made, wow, I'm impressed! They're relatively small changes, but they've added quite a lot, more than I was expecting when I read your reply, so take pride in that! It's nice to hear about differences in the celebrations and their decors, it makes them more unique and helps them stand out. It's almost a shame we can't see them too, but hey, such is the way with your very unique style of storytelling! You might not have long chapters of text all the time, but you've got some amazing visuals to go with them! Furthermore, not only have you done a nice job of differentiating the celebrations, but the way you've woven in characterisation is fantastic, I was very impressed indeed! Sure, it is a case of show, not tell, but we've already been over that. Besides, honestly, it doesn't really matter, getting little glimpses of who the Kaiju are as individuals is really fascinating! All round, some absolutely stellar work!
Thank you so much for the warm welcome back, it's fantastic to be back! Happily, I'll be back with the next one sooner! Until then, take care and have a great day!
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