For a first attempt it's very nice~ It's a little short, and could use a little bit more descriptions and what not, but otherwise not a bad start! The ending was very cute ^^

Oh, thank you dude! I will remember to be more descriptive next time

Yoooooooo! Awesome! Nice first story. I'm really just super happy someone new is writing. I'll totally catch up with your work!

Ok. Criticism. I don't really like to criticize, but I'll try. Umm... Hmm... Ok. Think of like a monster movie. Pick one. Any one. What you never wanna do is show off your monster right away because that takes out all of the tension. When you indicate that the package and pills are incorrect you likewise kinda take some tension away. Let the audience know at the same time as she learns that they're the wrong pills after she gets hungry. That way you get a better dramatic arc.

That's all! Thank you! You're awesome! I'm looking forward to the next one!