looks good

Looks like fun. Do more.

Looks good so far

Grammar crit? I can proofread if you'd like me to.

"warehouse" in the first panel;
also in first panel:
"a daughter's intuition" ... "Her father, formerly one of the world's sword masters, proves..."

Mostly note the punctuation -- which is a giant pain in the ass.

Yeah, I'm good for grammar-nazi-ing things. If you'd like, I can proofread, as I said -- I have very little else productive to do, after all.

Yeah, I was gonna say this exact same thing...also, mainly in the first couple sentences, it's really hard to get an idea of wth you're talking about, although part of that could be because of the grammer, but just the sentences themselves don't make much...sense? For example:

"In a bar ran by Mice under a ware house a daughters intuition proves to be right on the money"
could be changed to like (for example, although even this could be worded better):
"As she entered the Mice-ran bar under the warehouse, the daughters intuition proved to be right on the money."
although I personally would probably write it like:
"As she entered the dingy Mice-ran bar, a quick glance proved the daughter's intuition to be correct."

Not that I am saying that what you have is bad, it could probably just use some rewording. I think it was one of my friends (who made a couple comics) had said something along the lines of "(In a comic like this) You should be able to take away the pictures and be pretty much able to read it like a story" Seeing a lot of comics like these, what he said seems right. Most artists who do comics really seem to lack in the whole "storytelling" aspect of it (not directed at you personally, as one page doesn't give a good idea of how good you are at this) and the artists in question need to take a step back and figure out if what they're typing actually makes sense...
(LOL Hopefully what I've said actually makes some sense)

Ooops forgot to add: The art (as always) looks great though. Really want to see it colored.

This should be interesting to look at

Its looking pretty good, the only things off about it would be, (As already pointed out), the grammar and your line thicknesses.

While your lines are well done, you might try for thinner lines for the characters in the backgrounds. I can see where you have already and it looks great, just needs a bit more consistency.