Crosswalk Blowjob (Art by Anonymous)
An interview is being held on a park bench between a private journalist and a strangely-shaped public figure of some renown. The interviewer is asking about the situation seen above.
"... Oh, THAT ol' thang? Awh, shucks-- awh, JEEZ! Are you tryin' tuh make me all STIFF an' HARD or somethin', pal? We're in PUBLIC, yuh'know! Gawrsh, jus' the thought of it's makin' me all... RED-- an' we might get caught, too! 'Course, 's'not like that's ever stopped anyone from probin' me good 'n raw, a'hyuck! ... What'd'yuh mean, "phrasing?" Quit distractin' me, or this here li'l "interview" 's'gonna get a LOT more "in-depth," even if'n I don't quite mean it tuh be, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh~!
So, y'want things from the per-speck-tive of your's truly, huh? H'well, if'n I remember right, I was jus' walkin' down the street with muh good buddy - another Goofish sort've fella', goes by the name'uh Matt? You might've seen 'em around - he's a hard guy tuh miss, a'hyuh'hyuck! - an' it was a real hot Summer's day - an' I'm talkin' HAWT, a'hyuck! Ain't a feller alive that wasn't sweatin' up a storm, 'specially ol' Matty-boy, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, I bet'y'all remember that whole, uh, "Black Mountain Incident" from a li'l while back - 'bout a year ago? Yeah, we're talkin' sweatier 'n that - REAL sweaty! Gawrsh, just the thought of that beautiful hunk'a man meat just makes me wanna curl up my toes all TIGHT an' just--!!"
SHRRRIP-- THWACK! The goof's erection bursts out of his jeans, rudely smacking the interviewer in the chest like a pillow filled with bitter steak.
".. Oop, uh, sorry 'bout that, feller! I tend tuh get a teensy bit carried away when I'm thinkin' 'bout my big ol' bud' - 'specially ALL of him, a'hyuck! If'n you want'tuh jus'-- oh, hey! Good idea, pal! Y'know, I never thought about a "decency blanket" before - yer a real swell feller tuh think about my swellin' - jus' don't get any'uh that there sauce in yer mouth, or, uh, well... Errh, anyway, let's, uh, let's keep goin', a'hyuck~!!
So we're in the middle of this big ol' heat wave an' we're downtown, right? Jus' two pals, shoppin' here 'n there an' pickin' up some new duds - an' o'course we had a TON o' food, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, I think we ate at least a dozen restaurants outta house 'n home - and those were jus' app-uh-tizers, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh~! Oh, BOY, you should'a seen 'im diggin' in - that fella' really knows how tuh pack it all in, a'hyuck! All'a that scarfin' an' munchin' an' crunchin' an' gettin' all JUICY AN' SLOPPY AN' STUFFIN' HIS BIG OL' FACE AN'--!!"
THQUELCH-THQUORCH-THQWULP-THQWIPP! The goof's hands work over his erection in a moment of lust-drunk need, quietly brought back to reality by the interviewer's urgent pleading.
"--AN' HE'S JUST SO-- Urrh? Uh... Oh! Gawrsh, pal', 'm'sorry - I thought you was... actually, there's somethin' a little funny about you, yuh'know? You kind'a smell... nice. Errh, that is, uh-- Oh, right, RIGHT, let me jus' -- mmph -- keep it together, keep it together. Hoo. Hooooohhh... Gawd, 's'gotta be somethin' in the air, right pal? A'hyuh'hur'hur'HYUH! Oohf - I've got it, I've got it under control! Don't worry there, pal - I won't let yuh down a third time!
After me 'n Mattyboy, uh, "have a grand ol' time between pals," we end up saddlin' up 'n out into the busier side of town - 'least, 's'what I reckoned it was, a'hyuck! It might'a been, oh... somethin' like three o'clock, yuh'think? There's a whole lotta traffic - 'lotta fiesty drivers, jus' a whole HEAP of speedsters 'n horn-honkers, a'hyuck! - an' we see this here ice cream spot that's lookin' MIGHTY fine - SHLRRPF! Oh, boy, I'm salivatin' jus' THINKIN' about it! Y'ever been to Don Charlotte's? Yeah - yeahyeahyeah, that's the one, with the pistachios an' everythin'? Oh, boy - oh, BOY! OH--"
THPLURT'THPLORT! THQUELCH! The goof nearly loses his decency blanket from a sudden ejaculation, but the interviewer quickly slaps it back on and requests to keep things civil. An ounce of unmistakable sperm glazes onto the interviewer's hand.
"Uh, err, but uh, like- y-yeah, so, we see that there ice cream parlor - Don Charlotte's - on the other side'a the road, an' we jus' look at each other right in the eyes an' we just feel it; that feelin' yuh get deep down in yer bones, y'know? Ain't nothin' stoppin' us - an' ain't NOTHIN' gonna stop us, a'hyuck! We wanted those goodies; heck, I ain't afraid'uh sayin' we'd do ANYTHIN' fer those goodies! - an' we start marchin' on over - an' I mean MARCHIN'! ... Y'know, come tuh think of it, I think that's exactly when me 'n Mattyboy started to really let loose 'n stop givin' a damn - I'm sure of it, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, you should'a been there - I think you would'a fit right in, a'hyuh'hyuck!
Awh, you should'a seen us: jus' two big ol' boys on a day hotter 'n your neighbor's fat tits an' just droo-ooh-ooh-oooolin' with the sweatiest sweat; I think y'all've prob'ly got them there, uh, "wit-nusses?" Oh, right - witnesses, a'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! Folks're just gawpin' an' gapin', watchin' muh big ol' flip-flops smackin' intuh the concrete 'n just - y'know, I can't even describe it! It was all like-- THWORTCH, yuh'know? Jus' all juicy 'n loose, an' wetter 'n your neighbor's fat ol' caboose! Gawd, I was growin' then, wasn't I? Heck yeah -- awh, HECK yeah, I was startin' to get BIG - REAL BIG! An' Matt was steppin' an' squelchin' an' growin' an' moanin' an' awh gawhhh-- awh, awh, YAWH-HOO-HOO-HOOEEYY--!!"
THPLURRRT! THPLURRRRT! THPLORT-THPLORT-THPLURRRRT! THP'THP'THP'THPLORTCH - THQUELCH'THRP'THRP'THRP'THPLARP! The goof's toes and feet had grown to roughly the size of a man's torso as he spoke, unable to stop himself from wrapping his hands around his then-covered erection and bring himself rapidly to a powerful orgasm, the decency blanket carried off well into the distance at twice the height of a telephone pole. Curiously, his feet seem to gush and spritz in ejaculations of their own, each space between his giant toes erupting in salty geysers that quickly form puddles in the grass. His orgasm lasts for nearly a half minute, and by the time he had returned to his senses, the goof took notice that most people had evacuated the area, though it could have been a merciful coincidence. The interviewer gave a shaky sigh, embarrassed at the situation but determined to continue.
The goof, however, noticed the interviewer was breathing heavily... and aroused - very aroused. Amused, erect, and full of saucy mischief, the goof continues in earnest - very earnest, wrapping an arm around the nervous interviewer's shoulder.
"Awh, shucks - shucks like I can't even buh-LIEVE, a'hyuck! Sorry about that, feller - I'm a real piece'a work, aren't I? Jus' a big ol' GOOF who can't stop GOOFIN' OFF, a'hyuh'hur'hur'HYUH! I'm guessin' you're tired'uh this whole bush-beatin' business, 'specially when folks like us know a thing or two about beatin' bushes, yuh'know? Yeah - I knew it, I jus' KNEW you were somethin' special! Yeah, y'smell real nice, but now yer smellin' even NICER; shoot, y'know what y'all smell like? I think you... yeah, YOU - yer smellin' like a real GOOF, ain't'cha? In that case, I guess I ain't gotta hold back anythin', do I? Gawrsh, yer a real sweetie, y'know that? An' only a real sweetie's got the ears tuh listen good 'n close fer what happened on that there hotter'n'fuckin'hell day... Y'made it this far, didn't'chuh? Y'big ol' goof. Jus' like us. Jus' like me 'n ol' Mattyboy. Just like THEN...
Yeah, we were walkin'. Stompin'; squelchin'; makin' our big ol' fuckin' feet really fuckin' HEAVE, a'hyuck! Gawd-dayum, I don't know how 'n the hell my sandals didn't EXPLODE by the time we got there, but I know fer a fact ol' Matty's shoes jus' couldn't TAKE IT -- jus' the-- mmnph-- gawd, awh, GAWD, I don't think I'M gonna take it if'n I keep fuckin' THINKIN' 'bout 'em! Gawd, the way they GREW, -- the way they BURST! I COULD SEE 'UM, PAL - I COULD SEE HIS BIG OL' FUCKIN' FEET GROWIN' ON THE SIDEWALK, AN' THEY WERE BIG AN' JUICY AN' GROWIN' AN'-- AWWH, AWWH, YAWWWH-HOO-HOO-HOOOOEEEEYY--!!!"
Another orgasm bursts through the over-excited goof, ejaculating in a similar manner for an entire minute in length, his body convulsing and forcing the steel framework of the park bench to creak and bench out of shape beneath physics-defying weight and the blowback of each ejaculation. The interviewer is starting to lose it, aggressively groping his bulge and panting harder, staring forward onto the ground and witnessing the shape of his shoes beginning to deform. The goof wipes the sweat from his brow, continuing as if nothing had ever happened.
"--HOO! An' GOLLY, if'n that didn't make me STIFFER 'N FUCK, PAL! Gropin', strokin'; really startin' tuh BEAT MY FUCKIN' MEAT, A'HYUCK~! Jus' like we're doin' RIGHT NOW - feels REAL good, dud'n'it? Y'like feelin' that TWITCHIN' comin' from yer PRIVATES, pal? Gawh'hawh'hyuh'hyuh -- awh, shucks, is that the sound all'a you newbies make when y'start feelin' all GOOFY? Don't be shy, buddy - you 'n I're gonna be BEST PALS once we're done with this whole "inner-view" business - in fact, I bet'y'all're gonne be the next BIG SCOOP - an I'm talkin' REAL BIG! 'Course, I reckon y'all wouldn't be as big as Mattyboy - hawh HAWH! Oohhf-- I jus' can't stop touchin' m'self!
So there we are, jus', y'know - GROWIN' LIKE A PAIR OF HORNY FUCKS - an' jus' as I'm takin' th' first step forward - feelin' that STEP, feelin' that fuckin' SIZZLE - that plump ol' Mattf feller lets out THE BIGGEST FUCKIN' MOAN! An' then he starts gruntin'... an' growin'... an' REALLY LETTIN' LOOSE. Nnhf-- th' sound've his fuckin' undies just shhhHHRREDDIN', jus' POPPIN' OUTTA HIS PANTS! So fat, so JUICY-- Ungh, GAWD - I jus' can't stop touchin' myself, then AND now, a'hyuck! An' y'know, jus'... gawrsh-- GAWRSH! I can't fuckin' blame 'im - jus' the thought of seein' my big ol' ass a-wobblin' 'cross the street 'n seein' my HUGE FUCKIN' FEET 'S'ENOUGH TO MAKE ME START HUMPIN' TH' FUCKIN' AIR LIKE A GAWT-DAYUM ANIMAL 'N I CAN'T STOP TOUCHIN' M'SELF --AWHNGH, AWWH--H'YAWHH-HOO-HOO-HOOEEEEYY--!!!"
The goof's orgasm smashes into his brains hard enough to force a cartoony burst of steam from his ears, the mind-melting orgasm doing little to slow his wild and unhinged movements in mid-climax. Rope after rope of dangerously potent goofslop hurls out of his erection, lasting for nearly two entire minutes of unrestrained eruption. The interviewer starts to strip to the nude, exposing their skin to the afternoon sun as the once ordinary tones begin to darken like ink and emit a glossy reflection. CRRREAAAK - POP, POP! Leathery shoes give way to rubbery feet, the size of each stomper defying an alphabetical scale and stre-e-e-etching out into the air. There's little comprehension left in the interviewer's mind, rubbing their long fleshy dog-like muzzle against the goof's erection in mid-'gasm. This wasn't an interview anymore - this was just obscene.
"YEAH-- YEAH, NOW YER GETTIN' IT, A'HYUH'HYUCK! Yer a REAL goof now, pal! Gawd, yer a real fuckin' STUD, ain't'cha? FUCK-- yer an INCREDIBLE goof, 's'a'matter'uh'fuckin'FACT! Gawd, I knew you smelled good - now yuh smell UNBELIEVABLE! IN-FUCKIN'-CREDIBLE! GAWD, I can't stand it-- I CAN'T STAND IT! If'n I don't get a TASTE of yuh I'm'onna LOSE MY GAWT-DAYUM MIND--!! Spread yer legs an' lemme get WAY more 'n a fuckin' WHIFF o' that there MEAT, pal! SNRRRF-SNRRF-SNORRF-SNORRF--!!"
SCHLRRPF-SCHLORP! The interviewer's freshly grown erection - easily four feet tall, and growing! - disappeared into the inconsolably aroused goof's mouth, stretching out the lanky man's jaw and forming a distinct outline in the pit of his throat; a shape so tight that one could easily see the goof's Adam's apple flexing around with repetitious swallowing. The interviewer, drunk with lust, helplessly thrust his hips forward, emitting raucous and raunchy sounds he had never made before him his life; feeling sensations he couldn't have possibly comprehended beyond his transformation. After a minute of oral sex accompanied with sounds comparable to a mop shoved down a shower drain, the goof released his new companion's cock from his mouth with a loud POP of friction, leaning forward with an aggressively horny grin and keeping one of his bare smooth hands on the base of the interviewer's erection, pumping rapidly 'n staring him dead in the eye. The bench continues to creak with audible strain, crushed in several places just by the size of the goof's growing testicles alone!
"WOAH'HH'WOW, feller! Yer meat tastes FUCKIN' JUUU-UICY! Yer a REAL veiny boy, ain't'cha? Yeah, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh-- jus' look at this thing! An' here I was, thinkin' you'd be a little TOO fresh! Yer all ROCKIN' yer FAT FUCKIN' COCK like y'ain't never had one before, a'hyuck! A big ol' goof-donger like this jus' reminds me of the BEST gawt-dayum knob I've EVER slobbered - an' given yer dick's somethin' sweeter 'n yer neighbor's hips, that's sayin' a FUCKIN' LOT, a'hyuh'hyuck! Yeah-- YEAH! Ain't NOTHIN' like Mattboy's FAT FUCKIN' GOOF-DICK, pal! Gawh, you should'uh SEEN that MONSTER - the way it jus' HEAVES - 'specially on, yuh'know-- THAT day, a'hyuck! Y'know what I did? Y'know what I did there, ol' pal ol' feller o' friend-o'-mine~?"
The goof leans inward, spilling hot breath onto the freshly-grown muzzle of the interviewer's face, nearly eyeball-to-eyeball in a way that forced the transformed person to witness the veinwork and sclera of the goof's eyeballs darting around excitedly. Drool fell from their lips, the goof maddened and frothy with growing arousal and the interviewer threatening to melt from pleasure and sensory overload, steam beginning to hiss out of their ears regularly, alternating with the intensity with which the goof babbled and rattled off his sexual exploits.
"I turned around on the spot - RIGHT ON THAT GAWT-DAYUM SPOT - an' then I GULP-FUCKED THAT BIG OL' GOOF-DICK--!! I SLAM-DUNKED MY SLOBBERY FUCKIN' MOUTH ONTO THAT OH-SO-JUICY FUCKMISSILE AN' I GOBBLED UP HIS THUMP-THUMPIN' COCKMEAT LIKE IT WAS FUCKIN' MADE FER ME-!! Stretchin' out my whole gawt-dang body; - ALL OF ME - an' jus' SSSCHLRRP'SLURP'SLURPIN' Mattboy's FUCKMEAT like a proper fuckin' COCK-O-SEXUAL, a'hyuh'hyuh'HYUCK! We started gettin' REAL worked up then-- I mean REAL FUCKIN' CRAZY! Gawd, that boy - that HANDSOME GOOF-STUD--!! he jus' starts thrustin' an' growin' all over the street like it's just a thing tuh DO, jus' turnin' muh mouth into his own HOT 'n SLOPPY FLESHLIGHT! Gawwwwd, what I wouldn't fuckin' GIVE tuh be ol' Mattygoof's HORNY OL' GOOF-CONDOM RIGHT NOW! Yeah, I was just-- SCHLORRRPF! Slurpin' an' SLORPIN' an' watchin' -- nngh--!! Watchin' his HUGE FUCKIN'-- oggh--! UNGH, HIS FEET-- OH, GAWD, HIS FUCKIN' FEET-- JUS' ROCKIN' ON HIS HEELS 'N MAKIN' HIS BALLS FUCKIN' -ROAR!- 'S'FUCKIN GOOD-- 'S'JUS' SO FUCKIN' GOOD, FELLER-- I CAN'T STAND IT, I JUST CAN'T STAND IT--! AWWH-- AWWHHNGGH--!!!"
TSSSSSSSS...
Steam; hissing; release. There's a shaking calmness after the goof's words; an uneasy quiet that resumes after a steady inhalation of breath. He doesn't reach orgasm, but there's a distant rumbling like a fleet of cauldrons tossed down a hill, gurgling their contents in spasming spins and frothing twirls. He spoke face-to-face with his new friend as before, but his screaming and shouting had subdued to a tranquil - if shuddery - smoothness, half-lidded and doubtlessly suppressed. Not once did the goof's hand leave itself from the interviewer's groin, ever masturbating.
"An' yuh'know what, pal? ...I could feel it. I could feel it all. It's somethin' else, yuh'know - feelin' yer whoooole set'uh lips stretched wider 'n a whale to the limit've what'cha thought possible; feelin' yer own slop-gloggin' dong sandwiched all nice 'n purdy between yer own beefy balls an' the feelin' of yer own buddy's heart beatin' through the creamy crown'uh his twenty-somethin' feet of MEAT. An' yuh'know, it ain't nothin' outta the ordinary fer me - ain't a day goes by where I don't find m'self strokin' off, beatin' muhself dry, feelin' these big ol' toes get all nice 'n SENSE-UH-TIVE an' then... just spendin' the day paintin' the whole town white. Y'know what I mean? 'Course yuh do. Y'all can feel it deep down in that big ol' goofy heart of yer's: this is the LIFE, the REAL DEAL! This is jus' what bein' alive's all about. I think some'a them smart alecks call it, uh... "hee-dough-nizzum" or somethin'?
G'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! Awh, what'd'they know, anyhow? I bet'cha some'a those folk were there, too! Watchin' us. Sittin' in that hot ol' Summer sun, feelin' all'a that sweat jus' oozin' off their bodies in the middle'a traffic 'n glazin' their busy buns. Busier 'n it's ever been. An' y'know what? They stopped. They stopped to watch me 'n my buddy - a pair'uh horny huge-footed goofs - fillin' up the road with our dicks 'n suckin' each other off fer about 'n hour or so - yup, that sounds about right tuh me, a'hyuck! An' we got away with it, too - they jus' couldn't do a gosh-darn thing about it! That's somethin', is'n'it? That feelin' of struttin' yer stuff an' lettin' the whole world watch you GROW."
The interviewer is utterly mesmerized, eyes wide and glazed with rapt interest, steam pouring out of his ears and tongue hanging out of his mouth. The once ordinary man was awash with sensation, barely able to speak; barely able to breathe! His posture slack; his erection towering well overhead! So utterly enraptured is he that he hadn't the foggiest sensation of his surroundings - not until the mechanical sound of blades chopping through the air broke his mental state and gave way to a vast multitude of other sounds.
A helicopter arrives overhead, circling around the pair and emblazoned with emblems and carrying passengers armed with microphones and cameras that identified them as aerial news. Both they and the interviewer witnessed the source of the gurgling thunder that seemed so far away moments prior: the goof's erection had swollen grotesquely within a matter of moments, the underbelly so completely inflated with the the semen of a backed-up orgasm that it appeared nearly spherical and breached both the length and width of a city bus! Moreover, the interviewer's erection had backed up in a similar manner, albeit nowhere near the size of the goof. The sight of his own penis swollen to the size of a beach ball made him seize with alarm, but the goof just squeezed his companion's cock well-tight within his palm. By now the city bench had totally disappeared beneath the two, completely flattened by enormous genitals and monstrously oversized feet.
"Awh, jeez, look at those folks up in the sky! How'd they know we like bein' watched? Well, maybe YOU don't, but y'know what? I think I've got a GREAT feelin' about you, fella'! That's right - a'hyuck! - I think yer gonna be one of the GOOFIEST GOOFS that's ever been caught on the evenin' news! As fer me? Well, y'know, I WAS gonna let loose, but y'know what, all'a this here, uh, what'cha'ma'callit... remmuh-nissing? 'S'makin' me think I ought'a see what that ol' beauty's doin' right now! Oh, boy-oh-boy, I can't WAIT tuh show ol' Matty what I've got for 'im! D'yuh think I should pick up some'a that Don Charlotte's goodness? H'oh, boy, I'm jus' so EXCITED tuh give 'im somethin' nice an' SLOPPY, a'hyuh, a'hyuh, a'hyuh'hyuh'HYUCK~!"
THWOCK-THWACK! The goof gives an open-palmed slap to his absurd and grossly overswollen erection with both hands, triggering a profound reaction that made his urethra give an audio-visible wobble-and-heave, expanding outward in a sudden lurch at the coming of even more semen! Veins bulged; flesh surged; the weight of his balls sunk into the battered ground, and the crown of his cock throbbed a deep purple hue. Colossal toes curled into upturned soil and grass, the goof's feet almost as big as pontoon boats and forming up enough sweat to form a steaming valley of hot mud around the pair of men. He stood up tall with a grunt and a wriggle of his toes, eyes darting up and down the breadth of his impossible erection and giving a nod of satisfaction at the sight of it all, punctuated with a slurp of his tongue. This would do, it seemed! He made to turn around on the spot, casually swinging his genitals around and knocking down park trees with an absent-minded recklessness.
It was then that the interviewer felt a small moment of confusion, then looked down at the base of his bloated crotch. He hadn't realized that the goof had taken his sweat-slickened hands away until he had stood up, subconsciously replaced by his own sweatier slender fingers. He hadn't stopped - couldn't stop - and watched as he masturbated with an intensity he couldn't believe, but craved all at once! The sight of his fist pumping furiously over the long, slender, toy-like appearance of his twitchy vein-riddled cock made his body convulse and shake in repeated lurches, unable to process properly the inevitable orgasm that threatened to ruin his brain forever. His eyes swiveled; his ears steamed; drooling and babbling; torso-sized feet flexing and car-sized meat forcing tremors through the ground - a fleet of involuntary actions, but ones he felt a sense of blissy richness to. What little shreds of humanity remained within him started to melt and pool into the heart of his prostate, packed tight and repurposed as little more than something to be spent without so much as a second thought.
Dollops of mud began to kick up into the air from the sheer power behind his movements, his whole body throttled with sexual seizure; the interviewer could only focus his eyes on the goof as he so casually walked away, staring at his body; staring at the creature responsible for what he had become. With only a glance, he understood why that Mattyboy character had grown so wild; so out of control; why he'd blocked traffic for hours and subjected the public to his shameless sexual displays of fetishistic indulgence and obscene friendship. Were he not on the verge of an orgasm, the sheer sight of that single goof lifting up a foot to step and expose the dark underbelly of his sole and all of of it's raunchy details - of wrinkled 'n smothering flesh, columns of perspiration, and the sheer intensity of the scent alone, to say nothing of the whole package in motion! - he would have came on the spot. Sound attempts to gurgle up out of his throat; trying to speak; trying to say anything and everything He's close - he's so damn close!
The goof heard his new buddy's joyful gibberish and placed a hand on his head, scratching at one of his temples with his index finger. SQUEAK-ERRH-SQUEAK-ERR! A second passes - complete with furrowed brow - and a lightbulb goes off in the goof's head, looking over his shoulder and ignoring the casual destruction caused by his growing penis and the held-back tide of orgasms held within.
"Awh, shucks, sorry 'bout that, a'hyuck - why, that's jus' plain rude'uh me! I almost went 'n moseyed off without thankin' yuh fer settin' this whole thing up! If'n yuh hadn't swung on by 'n chit-chatted about me 'n ol' Mattyboy, why, we wouldn't'a become big ol' best-uh-th'-best buddies - yer a real swell pal, a'hyuck! How 'bout this: I'm'onna pop on by Matt's 'n tell 'um the good news: that we've got a new friend tuh hang out with, a'hyuck! Well, that'n, y'know... the whole "I'm'onna GOOF all up inside yuh" thang, a'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! An' after that, we're gonna hit up some'a that there Don Charlotte's 'n get us some REAL treats - y'all want somethin'? Puh-stash-ee-oh, right? Awh, don't worry about payin' me back, feller - we're FRIENDS now, a'hyuck! An' I'm LOADED an' ready tuh BLOW! Looks like yer about tuh start GOOFIN', aren't'cha? Gawrsh - we goofs're really PACKIN' today, huh?"
The goof carelessly slaps his hands onto his thirty foot long erection again as a means of punctuating his words, urethra immediately swelling in such an instantaneous way that his eyelids spasm and his feet curl into the ground, growing excitedly and effortlessly upturning root structures and slamming his toes into the sidewalk, upturning the concrete formations and shattering them beneath his feet shortly after. Another helicopter had arrived on the scene just overhead; a scene that made the exiting goof give a bashful little twirl of his fingers for the camera before sauntering off on his merry way, stopping for a single step to turn a thin lanky ear toward the sound of his buddy's howling and hollering, able to find his works during his first orgasm as a real goof - the first of countless thousands.
"-- OOAWH-- OH! OHHGH! OOHF-- OOHF, I'M GONNA GOOF--!! AWWH-- AWWHHGH--
YYYAWWWH-HOO-HOO-HOOOEEEEEYY--!!!!
A pair of goofs sit together on a well-worn couch in the middle of a living room, watching the evening news go by with countless breaking reports littering the screen. Arms that weren't placed on each other's shoulders held comically oversized ice cream cones that seemed more like bowls, each scoop of ice cream bigger than their own heads and stacked precariously atop one another in a slimy deluge of excessive flavor. Tongues left mouths in doggish motions, catching any and all wayward drippings that slathered into the cone and frequently slathering their tongues against each other with obnoxious squelching noises that drowned out the television's report.
A recap of the events begins to play onscreen, eventually displaying a first-hand experience of the interviewer's orgasm. The camera work zooms in on the writhing body of a tall and lanky individual attached to a colossal sac, the condents undulating and bouncing around with destructive impacts against the park's ruined and muddied lawnwork. Suddenly, the cameraman is grabbed by the reporter and shoved back into the helicopter, causing the camera to flip around wildly before landing on it's side to witness a geyser of what was unmistakably semen fire up at least ten stories into the sky, if not more so!
The burst of steaming fluid barely strikes the helicopter's blades, but a small portion grazes along one of the edges and slings the fluid down against the lip of the open door, recoiling beyond the camera's field of vision and smacking into one of the passenger's bodies with an audible gasp. Professionalism is abandoned in favor of survival and - after a series of lengthy censors and desperate attempts to slide the door shut - the crew leaves the scene, goof sperm and all. The scene continues on for a moment more, but before long one of the crew members can be heard panting, the camera itself still rolling and pointed at the cameraman's shoes. Creaking. Bulging. Growing.
"Uh, yuh'know, I'm thinkin' y'might've overdone it or somethin', fella'! I don't think those folks're gonna... uhhh... uhhrrh...?"
The plumper of the pair speaks, but he's interrupted by a multitude of wonderful sights and sounds. He looks down at both of his hands, each one now holding a towering pillar of slowly melting ice cream, some of which begins to spatter onto his wrists. His attention is turned then to the coffee table between the couch and the TV, the structure upturned and its contents scattered across the ground due to a pair of growing feet surging with crickle-crackling lurches of sound beneath the table's space, sweat popping from between the gaps of each toe and leaping onto the TV like hot oil hissing out of a deep fryer. Finally, below the hefty swell of his blubbery stomach, the plump goof could see the red hair friend's head bobbing and twisting, feeling his slender hands roaming 'round his inner thighs and kneading into the doughy depths of that dank and musky groin.
SCHLRRPF-SCHLORPF-SCHLOPF-SSSCHLRRPF-SCHLORP! It seems the lanky goof couldn't help himself, malleable jaws stretched wide and obscene around his friend's growing erection, much to the delight of Matt's half-lidded grunting. The springs and cushioning beneath the hefty goof's double-wide buttocks strained from the increasing weight and activity, cracks forming in the framework and threatening to break all at once. This wouldn't be the first couch they've broken this week, nor would it be the last. Whatever concerns had arisen were shoved into the back of Matt's goofish mind, drinking deep the feeling of his heartbeat stretching out his friend's face while slathering his tongue over long pillars of ice cream.
"Hhhurrf-- gawh, JEEZ, fella'! Y'sure know how to spoil a guy, a'hyuck--! Oohf-- SCHLRRPF-SLORP! Right there-- Awh, YEAH. get in there good 'n DEEP, pal! Awhhnngh-- FUCK, yer WAY too good at slobberin' knobs-- hhh'woah'WOW'woah, yer makin' me GROW--!! Oohf-- OOHF-- yer gonna make me GOOF--!!"
The lankier goof would grin were his mouth not stretched out with obscene amounts of penis, clapping a hand onto one of his buddy's wrist-thick veins and rubbing the surface around encouragingly. The area grew damp with sweat and sex before long; the TV began to sizzle and short out at the mentions of an epidemic; the furniture began to creak, wobble, break and crush. Nothing would stop these two boys tonight; not even a sale at Don Charlotte's. The apartments steamed; the night dripped with sexual excess; reports came in the following day of strange white floods and quarantine zones. Nothin' out of the ordinary for a pair of goofs, and tonight was nothin' if not a damn good night.
KNOCK-KN-KN-KNOCK-KNOCK, KNOCK-KNOCK!
The pair are interrupted by the sound of someone at their door; someone who chortled and chuckled in a silly way; someone who's feet started to drip into the space below the door.
Someone who wanted an interview.
Art by Anonymous
"... Oh, THAT ol' thang? Awh, shucks-- awh, JEEZ! Are you tryin' tuh make me all STIFF an' HARD or somethin', pal? We're in PUBLIC, yuh'know! Gawrsh, jus' the thought of it's makin' me all... RED-- an' we might get caught, too! 'Course, 's'not like that's ever stopped anyone from probin' me good 'n raw, a'hyuck! ... What'd'yuh mean, "phrasing?" Quit distractin' me, or this here li'l "interview" 's'gonna get a LOT more "in-depth," even if'n I don't quite mean it tuh be, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh~!
So, y'want things from the per-speck-tive of your's truly, huh? H'well, if'n I remember right, I was jus' walkin' down the street with muh good buddy - another Goofish sort've fella', goes by the name'uh Matt? You might've seen 'em around - he's a hard guy tuh miss, a'hyuh'hyuck! - an' it was a real hot Summer's day - an' I'm talkin' HAWT, a'hyuck! Ain't a feller alive that wasn't sweatin' up a storm, 'specially ol' Matty-boy, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, I bet'y'all remember that whole, uh, "Black Mountain Incident" from a li'l while back - 'bout a year ago? Yeah, we're talkin' sweatier 'n that - REAL sweaty! Gawrsh, just the thought of that beautiful hunk'a man meat just makes me wanna curl up my toes all TIGHT an' just--!!"
SHRRRIP-- THWACK! The goof's erection bursts out of his jeans, rudely smacking the interviewer in the chest like a pillow filled with bitter steak.
".. Oop, uh, sorry 'bout that, feller! I tend tuh get a teensy bit carried away when I'm thinkin' 'bout my big ol' bud' - 'specially ALL of him, a'hyuck! If'n you want'tuh jus'-- oh, hey! Good idea, pal! Y'know, I never thought about a "decency blanket" before - yer a real swell feller tuh think about my swellin' - jus' don't get any'uh that there sauce in yer mouth, or, uh, well... Errh, anyway, let's, uh, let's keep goin', a'hyuck~!!
So we're in the middle of this big ol' heat wave an' we're downtown, right? Jus' two pals, shoppin' here 'n there an' pickin' up some new duds - an' o'course we had a TON o' food, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, I think we ate at least a dozen restaurants outta house 'n home - and those were jus' app-uh-tizers, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh~! Oh, BOY, you should'a seen 'im diggin' in - that fella' really knows how tuh pack it all in, a'hyuck! All'a that scarfin' an' munchin' an' crunchin' an' gettin' all JUICY AN' SLOPPY AN' STUFFIN' HIS BIG OL' FACE AN'--!!"
THQUELCH-THQUORCH-THQWULP-THQWIPP! The goof's hands work over his erection in a moment of lust-drunk need, quietly brought back to reality by the interviewer's urgent pleading.
"--AN' HE'S JUST SO-- Urrh? Uh... Oh! Gawrsh, pal', 'm'sorry - I thought you was... actually, there's somethin' a little funny about you, yuh'know? You kind'a smell... nice. Errh, that is, uh-- Oh, right, RIGHT, let me jus' -- mmph -- keep it together, keep it together. Hoo. Hooooohhh... Gawd, 's'gotta be somethin' in the air, right pal? A'hyuh'hur'hur'HYUH! Oohf - I've got it, I've got it under control! Don't worry there, pal - I won't let yuh down a third time!
After me 'n Mattyboy, uh, "have a grand ol' time between pals," we end up saddlin' up 'n out into the busier side of town - 'least, 's'what I reckoned it was, a'hyuck! It might'a been, oh... somethin' like three o'clock, yuh'think? There's a whole lotta traffic - 'lotta fiesty drivers, jus' a whole HEAP of speedsters 'n horn-honkers, a'hyuck! - an' we see this here ice cream spot that's lookin' MIGHTY fine - SHLRRPF! Oh, boy, I'm salivatin' jus' THINKIN' about it! Y'ever been to Don Charlotte's? Yeah - yeahyeahyeah, that's the one, with the pistachios an' everythin'? Oh, boy - oh, BOY! OH--"
THPLURT'THPLORT! THQUELCH! The goof nearly loses his decency blanket from a sudden ejaculation, but the interviewer quickly slaps it back on and requests to keep things civil. An ounce of unmistakable sperm glazes onto the interviewer's hand.
"Uh, err, but uh, like- y-yeah, so, we see that there ice cream parlor - Don Charlotte's - on the other side'a the road, an' we jus' look at each other right in the eyes an' we just feel it; that feelin' yuh get deep down in yer bones, y'know? Ain't nothin' stoppin' us - an' ain't NOTHIN' gonna stop us, a'hyuck! We wanted those goodies; heck, I ain't afraid'uh sayin' we'd do ANYTHIN' fer those goodies! - an' we start marchin' on over - an' I mean MARCHIN'! ... Y'know, come tuh think of it, I think that's exactly when me 'n Mattyboy started to really let loose 'n stop givin' a damn - I'm sure of it, a'hyuck! Gawrsh, you should'a been there - I think you would'a fit right in, a'hyuh'hyuck!
Awh, you should'a seen us: jus' two big ol' boys on a day hotter 'n your neighbor's fat tits an' just droo-ooh-ooh-oooolin' with the sweatiest sweat; I think y'all've prob'ly got them there, uh, "wit-nusses?" Oh, right - witnesses, a'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! Folks're just gawpin' an' gapin', watchin' muh big ol' flip-flops smackin' intuh the concrete 'n just - y'know, I can't even describe it! It was all like-- THWORTCH, yuh'know? Jus' all juicy 'n loose, an' wetter 'n your neighbor's fat ol' caboose! Gawd, I was growin' then, wasn't I? Heck yeah -- awh, HECK yeah, I was startin' to get BIG - REAL BIG! An' Matt was steppin' an' squelchin' an' growin' an' moanin' an' awh gawhhh-- awh, awh, YAWH-HOO-HOO-HOOEEYY--!!"
THPLURRRT! THPLURRRRT! THPLORT-THPLORT-THPLURRRRT! THP'THP'THP'THPLORTCH - THQUELCH'THRP'THRP'THRP'THPLARP! The goof's toes and feet had grown to roughly the size of a man's torso as he spoke, unable to stop himself from wrapping his hands around his then-covered erection and bring himself rapidly to a powerful orgasm, the decency blanket carried off well into the distance at twice the height of a telephone pole. Curiously, his feet seem to gush and spritz in ejaculations of their own, each space between his giant toes erupting in salty geysers that quickly form puddles in the grass. His orgasm lasts for nearly a half minute, and by the time he had returned to his senses, the goof took notice that most people had evacuated the area, though it could have been a merciful coincidence. The interviewer gave a shaky sigh, embarrassed at the situation but determined to continue.
The goof, however, noticed the interviewer was breathing heavily... and aroused - very aroused. Amused, erect, and full of saucy mischief, the goof continues in earnest - very earnest, wrapping an arm around the nervous interviewer's shoulder.
"Awh, shucks - shucks like I can't even buh-LIEVE, a'hyuck! Sorry about that, feller - I'm a real piece'a work, aren't I? Jus' a big ol' GOOF who can't stop GOOFIN' OFF, a'hyuh'hur'hur'HYUH! I'm guessin' you're tired'uh this whole bush-beatin' business, 'specially when folks like us know a thing or two about beatin' bushes, yuh'know? Yeah - I knew it, I jus' KNEW you were somethin' special! Yeah, y'smell real nice, but now yer smellin' even NICER; shoot, y'know what y'all smell like? I think you... yeah, YOU - yer smellin' like a real GOOF, ain't'cha? In that case, I guess I ain't gotta hold back anythin', do I? Gawrsh, yer a real sweetie, y'know that? An' only a real sweetie's got the ears tuh listen good 'n close fer what happened on that there hotter'n'fuckin'hell day... Y'made it this far, didn't'chuh? Y'big ol' goof. Jus' like us. Jus' like me 'n ol' Mattyboy. Just like THEN...
Yeah, we were walkin'. Stompin'; squelchin'; makin' our big ol' fuckin' feet really fuckin' HEAVE, a'hyuck! Gawd-dayum, I don't know how 'n the hell my sandals didn't EXPLODE by the time we got there, but I know fer a fact ol' Matty's shoes jus' couldn't TAKE IT -- jus' the-- mmnph-- gawd, awh, GAWD, I don't think I'M gonna take it if'n I keep fuckin' THINKIN' 'bout 'em! Gawd, the way they GREW, -- the way they BURST! I COULD SEE 'UM, PAL - I COULD SEE HIS BIG OL' FUCKIN' FEET GROWIN' ON THE SIDEWALK, AN' THEY WERE BIG AN' JUICY AN' GROWIN' AN'-- AWWH, AWWH, YAWWWH-HOO-HOO-HOOOOEEEEYY--!!!"
Another orgasm bursts through the over-excited goof, ejaculating in a similar manner for an entire minute in length, his body convulsing and forcing the steel framework of the park bench to creak and bench out of shape beneath physics-defying weight and the blowback of each ejaculation. The interviewer is starting to lose it, aggressively groping his bulge and panting harder, staring forward onto the ground and witnessing the shape of his shoes beginning to deform. The goof wipes the sweat from his brow, continuing as if nothing had ever happened.
"--HOO! An' GOLLY, if'n that didn't make me STIFFER 'N FUCK, PAL! Gropin', strokin'; really startin' tuh BEAT MY FUCKIN' MEAT, A'HYUCK~! Jus' like we're doin' RIGHT NOW - feels REAL good, dud'n'it? Y'like feelin' that TWITCHIN' comin' from yer PRIVATES, pal? Gawh'hawh'hyuh'hyuh -- awh, shucks, is that the sound all'a you newbies make when y'start feelin' all GOOFY? Don't be shy, buddy - you 'n I're gonna be BEST PALS once we're done with this whole "inner-view" business - in fact, I bet'y'all're gonne be the next BIG SCOOP - an I'm talkin' REAL BIG! 'Course, I reckon y'all wouldn't be as big as Mattyboy - hawh HAWH! Oohhf-- I jus' can't stop touchin' m'self!
So there we are, jus', y'know - GROWIN' LIKE A PAIR OF HORNY FUCKS - an' jus' as I'm takin' th' first step forward - feelin' that STEP, feelin' that fuckin' SIZZLE - that plump ol' Mattf feller lets out THE BIGGEST FUCKIN' MOAN! An' then he starts gruntin'... an' growin'... an' REALLY LETTIN' LOOSE. Nnhf-- th' sound've his fuckin' undies just shhhHHRREDDIN', jus' POPPIN' OUTTA HIS PANTS! So fat, so JUICY-- Ungh, GAWD - I jus' can't stop touchin' myself, then AND now, a'hyuck! An' y'know, jus'... gawrsh-- GAWRSH! I can't fuckin' blame 'im - jus' the thought of seein' my big ol' ass a-wobblin' 'cross the street 'n seein' my HUGE FUCKIN' FEET 'S'ENOUGH TO MAKE ME START HUMPIN' TH' FUCKIN' AIR LIKE A GAWT-DAYUM ANIMAL 'N I CAN'T STOP TOUCHIN' M'SELF --AWHNGH, AWWH--H'YAWHH-HOO-HOO-HOOEEEEYY--!!!"
The goof's orgasm smashes into his brains hard enough to force a cartoony burst of steam from his ears, the mind-melting orgasm doing little to slow his wild and unhinged movements in mid-climax. Rope after rope of dangerously potent goofslop hurls out of his erection, lasting for nearly two entire minutes of unrestrained eruption. The interviewer starts to strip to the nude, exposing their skin to the afternoon sun as the once ordinary tones begin to darken like ink and emit a glossy reflection. CRRREAAAK - POP, POP! Leathery shoes give way to rubbery feet, the size of each stomper defying an alphabetical scale and stre-e-e-etching out into the air. There's little comprehension left in the interviewer's mind, rubbing their long fleshy dog-like muzzle against the goof's erection in mid-'gasm. This wasn't an interview anymore - this was just obscene.
"YEAH-- YEAH, NOW YER GETTIN' IT, A'HYUH'HYUCK! Yer a REAL goof now, pal! Gawd, yer a real fuckin' STUD, ain't'cha? FUCK-- yer an INCREDIBLE goof, 's'a'matter'uh'fuckin'FACT! Gawd, I knew you smelled good - now yuh smell UNBELIEVABLE! IN-FUCKIN'-CREDIBLE! GAWD, I can't stand it-- I CAN'T STAND IT! If'n I don't get a TASTE of yuh I'm'onna LOSE MY GAWT-DAYUM MIND--!! Spread yer legs an' lemme get WAY more 'n a fuckin' WHIFF o' that there MEAT, pal! SNRRRF-SNRRF-SNORRF-SNORRF--!!"
SCHLRRPF-SCHLORP! The interviewer's freshly grown erection - easily four feet tall, and growing! - disappeared into the inconsolably aroused goof's mouth, stretching out the lanky man's jaw and forming a distinct outline in the pit of his throat; a shape so tight that one could easily see the goof's Adam's apple flexing around with repetitious swallowing. The interviewer, drunk with lust, helplessly thrust his hips forward, emitting raucous and raunchy sounds he had never made before him his life; feeling sensations he couldn't have possibly comprehended beyond his transformation. After a minute of oral sex accompanied with sounds comparable to a mop shoved down a shower drain, the goof released his new companion's cock from his mouth with a loud POP of friction, leaning forward with an aggressively horny grin and keeping one of his bare smooth hands on the base of the interviewer's erection, pumping rapidly 'n staring him dead in the eye. The bench continues to creak with audible strain, crushed in several places just by the size of the goof's growing testicles alone!
"WOAH'HH'WOW, feller! Yer meat tastes FUCKIN' JUUU-UICY! Yer a REAL veiny boy, ain't'cha? Yeah, a'hyuh'hur'hur'hyuh-- jus' look at this thing! An' here I was, thinkin' you'd be a little TOO fresh! Yer all ROCKIN' yer FAT FUCKIN' COCK like y'ain't never had one before, a'hyuck! A big ol' goof-donger like this jus' reminds me of the BEST gawt-dayum knob I've EVER slobbered - an' given yer dick's somethin' sweeter 'n yer neighbor's hips, that's sayin' a FUCKIN' LOT, a'hyuh'hyuck! Yeah-- YEAH! Ain't NOTHIN' like Mattboy's FAT FUCKIN' GOOF-DICK, pal! Gawh, you should'uh SEEN that MONSTER - the way it jus' HEAVES - 'specially on, yuh'know-- THAT day, a'hyuck! Y'know what I did? Y'know what I did there, ol' pal ol' feller o' friend-o'-mine~?"
The goof leans inward, spilling hot breath onto the freshly-grown muzzle of the interviewer's face, nearly eyeball-to-eyeball in a way that forced the transformed person to witness the veinwork and sclera of the goof's eyeballs darting around excitedly. Drool fell from their lips, the goof maddened and frothy with growing arousal and the interviewer threatening to melt from pleasure and sensory overload, steam beginning to hiss out of their ears regularly, alternating with the intensity with which the goof babbled and rattled off his sexual exploits.
"I turned around on the spot - RIGHT ON THAT GAWT-DAYUM SPOT - an' then I GULP-FUCKED THAT BIG OL' GOOF-DICK--!! I SLAM-DUNKED MY SLOBBERY FUCKIN' MOUTH ONTO THAT OH-SO-JUICY FUCKMISSILE AN' I GOBBLED UP HIS THUMP-THUMPIN' COCKMEAT LIKE IT WAS FUCKIN' MADE FER ME-!! Stretchin' out my whole gawt-dang body; - ALL OF ME - an' jus' SSSCHLRRP'SLURP'SLURPIN' Mattboy's FUCKMEAT like a proper fuckin' COCK-O-SEXUAL, a'hyuh'hyuh'HYUCK! We started gettin' REAL worked up then-- I mean REAL FUCKIN' CRAZY! Gawd, that boy - that HANDSOME GOOF-STUD--!! he jus' starts thrustin' an' growin' all over the street like it's just a thing tuh DO, jus' turnin' muh mouth into his own HOT 'n SLOPPY FLESHLIGHT! Gawwwwd, what I wouldn't fuckin' GIVE tuh be ol' Mattygoof's HORNY OL' GOOF-CONDOM RIGHT NOW! Yeah, I was just-- SCHLORRRPF! Slurpin' an' SLORPIN' an' watchin' -- nngh--!! Watchin' his HUGE FUCKIN'-- oggh--! UNGH, HIS FEET-- OH, GAWD, HIS FUCKIN' FEET-- JUS' ROCKIN' ON HIS HEELS 'N MAKIN' HIS BALLS FUCKIN' -ROAR!- 'S'FUCKIN GOOD-- 'S'JUS' SO FUCKIN' GOOD, FELLER-- I CAN'T STAND IT, I JUST CAN'T STAND IT--! AWWH-- AWWHHNGGH--!!!"
TSSSSSSSS...
Steam; hissing; release. There's a shaking calmness after the goof's words; an uneasy quiet that resumes after a steady inhalation of breath. He doesn't reach orgasm, but there's a distant rumbling like a fleet of cauldrons tossed down a hill, gurgling their contents in spasming spins and frothing twirls. He spoke face-to-face with his new friend as before, but his screaming and shouting had subdued to a tranquil - if shuddery - smoothness, half-lidded and doubtlessly suppressed. Not once did the goof's hand leave itself from the interviewer's groin, ever masturbating.
"An' yuh'know what, pal? ...I could feel it. I could feel it all. It's somethin' else, yuh'know - feelin' yer whoooole set'uh lips stretched wider 'n a whale to the limit've what'cha thought possible; feelin' yer own slop-gloggin' dong sandwiched all nice 'n purdy between yer own beefy balls an' the feelin' of yer own buddy's heart beatin' through the creamy crown'uh his twenty-somethin' feet of MEAT. An' yuh'know, it ain't nothin' outta the ordinary fer me - ain't a day goes by where I don't find m'self strokin' off, beatin' muhself dry, feelin' these big ol' toes get all nice 'n SENSE-UH-TIVE an' then... just spendin' the day paintin' the whole town white. Y'know what I mean? 'Course yuh do. Y'all can feel it deep down in that big ol' goofy heart of yer's: this is the LIFE, the REAL DEAL! This is jus' what bein' alive's all about. I think some'a them smart alecks call it, uh... "hee-dough-nizzum" or somethin'?
G'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! Awh, what'd'they know, anyhow? I bet'cha some'a those folk were there, too! Watchin' us. Sittin' in that hot ol' Summer sun, feelin' all'a that sweat jus' oozin' off their bodies in the middle'a traffic 'n glazin' their busy buns. Busier 'n it's ever been. An' y'know what? They stopped. They stopped to watch me 'n my buddy - a pair'uh horny huge-footed goofs - fillin' up the road with our dicks 'n suckin' each other off fer about 'n hour or so - yup, that sounds about right tuh me, a'hyuck! An' we got away with it, too - they jus' couldn't do a gosh-darn thing about it! That's somethin', is'n'it? That feelin' of struttin' yer stuff an' lettin' the whole world watch you GROW."
The interviewer is utterly mesmerized, eyes wide and glazed with rapt interest, steam pouring out of his ears and tongue hanging out of his mouth. The once ordinary man was awash with sensation, barely able to speak; barely able to breathe! His posture slack; his erection towering well overhead! So utterly enraptured is he that he hadn't the foggiest sensation of his surroundings - not until the mechanical sound of blades chopping through the air broke his mental state and gave way to a vast multitude of other sounds.
A helicopter arrives overhead, circling around the pair and emblazoned with emblems and carrying passengers armed with microphones and cameras that identified them as aerial news. Both they and the interviewer witnessed the source of the gurgling thunder that seemed so far away moments prior: the goof's erection had swollen grotesquely within a matter of moments, the underbelly so completely inflated with the the semen of a backed-up orgasm that it appeared nearly spherical and breached both the length and width of a city bus! Moreover, the interviewer's erection had backed up in a similar manner, albeit nowhere near the size of the goof. The sight of his own penis swollen to the size of a beach ball made him seize with alarm, but the goof just squeezed his companion's cock well-tight within his palm. By now the city bench had totally disappeared beneath the two, completely flattened by enormous genitals and monstrously oversized feet.
"Awh, jeez, look at those folks up in the sky! How'd they know we like bein' watched? Well, maybe YOU don't, but y'know what? I think I've got a GREAT feelin' about you, fella'! That's right - a'hyuck! - I think yer gonna be one of the GOOFIEST GOOFS that's ever been caught on the evenin' news! As fer me? Well, y'know, I WAS gonna let loose, but y'know what, all'a this here, uh, what'cha'ma'callit... remmuh-nissing? 'S'makin' me think I ought'a see what that ol' beauty's doin' right now! Oh, boy-oh-boy, I can't WAIT tuh show ol' Matty what I've got for 'im! D'yuh think I should pick up some'a that Don Charlotte's goodness? H'oh, boy, I'm jus' so EXCITED tuh give 'im somethin' nice an' SLOPPY, a'hyuh, a'hyuh, a'hyuh'hyuh'HYUCK~!"
THWOCK-THWACK! The goof gives an open-palmed slap to his absurd and grossly overswollen erection with both hands, triggering a profound reaction that made his urethra give an audio-visible wobble-and-heave, expanding outward in a sudden lurch at the coming of even more semen! Veins bulged; flesh surged; the weight of his balls sunk into the battered ground, and the crown of his cock throbbed a deep purple hue. Colossal toes curled into upturned soil and grass, the goof's feet almost as big as pontoon boats and forming up enough sweat to form a steaming valley of hot mud around the pair of men. He stood up tall with a grunt and a wriggle of his toes, eyes darting up and down the breadth of his impossible erection and giving a nod of satisfaction at the sight of it all, punctuated with a slurp of his tongue. This would do, it seemed! He made to turn around on the spot, casually swinging his genitals around and knocking down park trees with an absent-minded recklessness.
It was then that the interviewer felt a small moment of confusion, then looked down at the base of his bloated crotch. He hadn't realized that the goof had taken his sweat-slickened hands away until he had stood up, subconsciously replaced by his own sweatier slender fingers. He hadn't stopped - couldn't stop - and watched as he masturbated with an intensity he couldn't believe, but craved all at once! The sight of his fist pumping furiously over the long, slender, toy-like appearance of his twitchy vein-riddled cock made his body convulse and shake in repeated lurches, unable to process properly the inevitable orgasm that threatened to ruin his brain forever. His eyes swiveled; his ears steamed; drooling and babbling; torso-sized feet flexing and car-sized meat forcing tremors through the ground - a fleet of involuntary actions, but ones he felt a sense of blissy richness to. What little shreds of humanity remained within him started to melt and pool into the heart of his prostate, packed tight and repurposed as little more than something to be spent without so much as a second thought.
Dollops of mud began to kick up into the air from the sheer power behind his movements, his whole body throttled with sexual seizure; the interviewer could only focus his eyes on the goof as he so casually walked away, staring at his body; staring at the creature responsible for what he had become. With only a glance, he understood why that Mattyboy character had grown so wild; so out of control; why he'd blocked traffic for hours and subjected the public to his shameless sexual displays of fetishistic indulgence and obscene friendship. Were he not on the verge of an orgasm, the sheer sight of that single goof lifting up a foot to step and expose the dark underbelly of his sole and all of of it's raunchy details - of wrinkled 'n smothering flesh, columns of perspiration, and the sheer intensity of the scent alone, to say nothing of the whole package in motion! - he would have came on the spot. Sound attempts to gurgle up out of his throat; trying to speak; trying to say anything and everything He's close - he's so damn close!
The goof heard his new buddy's joyful gibberish and placed a hand on his head, scratching at one of his temples with his index finger. SQUEAK-ERRH-SQUEAK-ERR! A second passes - complete with furrowed brow - and a lightbulb goes off in the goof's head, looking over his shoulder and ignoring the casual destruction caused by his growing penis and the held-back tide of orgasms held within.
"Awh, shucks, sorry 'bout that, a'hyuck - why, that's jus' plain rude'uh me! I almost went 'n moseyed off without thankin' yuh fer settin' this whole thing up! If'n yuh hadn't swung on by 'n chit-chatted about me 'n ol' Mattyboy, why, we wouldn't'a become big ol' best-uh-th'-best buddies - yer a real swell pal, a'hyuck! How 'bout this: I'm'onna pop on by Matt's 'n tell 'um the good news: that we've got a new friend tuh hang out with, a'hyuck! Well, that'n, y'know... the whole "I'm'onna GOOF all up inside yuh" thang, a'hyuh'hyuh'hyuck! An' after that, we're gonna hit up some'a that there Don Charlotte's 'n get us some REAL treats - y'all want somethin'? Puh-stash-ee-oh, right? Awh, don't worry about payin' me back, feller - we're FRIENDS now, a'hyuck! An' I'm LOADED an' ready tuh BLOW! Looks like yer about tuh start GOOFIN', aren't'cha? Gawrsh - we goofs're really PACKIN' today, huh?"
The goof carelessly slaps his hands onto his thirty foot long erection again as a means of punctuating his words, urethra immediately swelling in such an instantaneous way that his eyelids spasm and his feet curl into the ground, growing excitedly and effortlessly upturning root structures and slamming his toes into the sidewalk, upturning the concrete formations and shattering them beneath his feet shortly after. Another helicopter had arrived on the scene just overhead; a scene that made the exiting goof give a bashful little twirl of his fingers for the camera before sauntering off on his merry way, stopping for a single step to turn a thin lanky ear toward the sound of his buddy's howling and hollering, able to find his works during his first orgasm as a real goof - the first of countless thousands.
"-- OOAWH-- OH! OHHGH! OOHF-- OOHF, I'M GONNA GOOF--!! AWWH-- AWWHHGH--
YYYAWWWH-HOO-HOO-HOOOEEEEEYY--!!!!
A pair of goofs sit together on a well-worn couch in the middle of a living room, watching the evening news go by with countless breaking reports littering the screen. Arms that weren't placed on each other's shoulders held comically oversized ice cream cones that seemed more like bowls, each scoop of ice cream bigger than their own heads and stacked precariously atop one another in a slimy deluge of excessive flavor. Tongues left mouths in doggish motions, catching any and all wayward drippings that slathered into the cone and frequently slathering their tongues against each other with obnoxious squelching noises that drowned out the television's report.
A recap of the events begins to play onscreen, eventually displaying a first-hand experience of the interviewer's orgasm. The camera work zooms in on the writhing body of a tall and lanky individual attached to a colossal sac, the condents undulating and bouncing around with destructive impacts against the park's ruined and muddied lawnwork. Suddenly, the cameraman is grabbed by the reporter and shoved back into the helicopter, causing the camera to flip around wildly before landing on it's side to witness a geyser of what was unmistakably semen fire up at least ten stories into the sky, if not more so!
The burst of steaming fluid barely strikes the helicopter's blades, but a small portion grazes along one of the edges and slings the fluid down against the lip of the open door, recoiling beyond the camera's field of vision and smacking into one of the passenger's bodies with an audible gasp. Professionalism is abandoned in favor of survival and - after a series of lengthy censors and desperate attempts to slide the door shut - the crew leaves the scene, goof sperm and all. The scene continues on for a moment more, but before long one of the crew members can be heard panting, the camera itself still rolling and pointed at the cameraman's shoes. Creaking. Bulging. Growing.
"Uh, yuh'know, I'm thinkin' y'might've overdone it or somethin', fella'! I don't think those folks're gonna... uhhh... uhhrrh...?"
The plumper of the pair speaks, but he's interrupted by a multitude of wonderful sights and sounds. He looks down at both of his hands, each one now holding a towering pillar of slowly melting ice cream, some of which begins to spatter onto his wrists. His attention is turned then to the coffee table between the couch and the TV, the structure upturned and its contents scattered across the ground due to a pair of growing feet surging with crickle-crackling lurches of sound beneath the table's space, sweat popping from between the gaps of each toe and leaping onto the TV like hot oil hissing out of a deep fryer. Finally, below the hefty swell of his blubbery stomach, the plump goof could see the red hair friend's head bobbing and twisting, feeling his slender hands roaming 'round his inner thighs and kneading into the doughy depths of that dank and musky groin.
SCHLRRPF-SCHLORPF-SCHLOPF-SSSCHLRRPF-SCHLORP! It seems the lanky goof couldn't help himself, malleable jaws stretched wide and obscene around his friend's growing erection, much to the delight of Matt's half-lidded grunting. The springs and cushioning beneath the hefty goof's double-wide buttocks strained from the increasing weight and activity, cracks forming in the framework and threatening to break all at once. This wouldn't be the first couch they've broken this week, nor would it be the last. Whatever concerns had arisen were shoved into the back of Matt's goofish mind, drinking deep the feeling of his heartbeat stretching out his friend's face while slathering his tongue over long pillars of ice cream.
"Hhhurrf-- gawh, JEEZ, fella'! Y'sure know how to spoil a guy, a'hyuck--! Oohf-- SCHLRRPF-SLORP! Right there-- Awh, YEAH. get in there good 'n DEEP, pal! Awhhnngh-- FUCK, yer WAY too good at slobberin' knobs-- hhh'woah'WOW'woah, yer makin' me GROW--!! Oohf-- OOHF-- yer gonna make me GOOF--!!"
The lankier goof would grin were his mouth not stretched out with obscene amounts of penis, clapping a hand onto one of his buddy's wrist-thick veins and rubbing the surface around encouragingly. The area grew damp with sweat and sex before long; the TV began to sizzle and short out at the mentions of an epidemic; the furniture began to creak, wobble, break and crush. Nothing would stop these two boys tonight; not even a sale at Don Charlotte's. The apartments steamed; the night dripped with sexual excess; reports came in the following day of strange white floods and quarantine zones. Nothin' out of the ordinary for a pair of goofs, and tonight was nothin' if not a damn good night.
KNOCK-KN-KN-KNOCK-KNOCK, KNOCK-KNOCK!
The pair are interrupted by the sound of someone at their door; someone who chortled and chuckled in a silly way; someone who's feet started to drip into the space below the door.
Someone who wanted an interview.
Art by Anonymous
Category All / Hyper
Species Dog (Other)
Size 6000 x 1938px
File Size 4.27 MB
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