This is actually a zoom and rework off an older piece of art. I posted it on my fetish account and then regretted it.
It really isnt fetishy at all. I put a ton of work into this and then put it on an account that no one would appreciate it.

I became uncomfortable with who I was with the second account I created "Goredata".

But iv come to feel that I should do more than just forgive myself for being "bad"

"Vsauce" and the band "brick and morter" led me to believe that we all just kinda feel angsty sometimes. We get morbid curiosities and explore them.

And I did that, I explored some "bad" things. and I continued exploring them well past what I was comfortable with because I made a lot of money with it

I think "forgiving oneself" sounds toxic. Its insinuates that I was "bad" and have to feel bad about it, it wasn't really me or something. But it was me, and I experienced things positive and negative, and most importantly I learned things. Thats why our minds edge toward morbid curiosities. To learn.

So I am not, happy, sad, repentant, proud. I just accept that they happened and I felt what I felt.