chapter 30 :)

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Loki had been walking in circles in front of the door of Odin’s personal room for the last thirty minutes at least. The ruler of Westenheim knew that sooner or later, he would have to face him, but he was at his hundredth mental scenario and still not figuring how he should introduce himself to Odin, after such immense failure.

All he wanted was to warn, to do his duty toward the man who taught him everything. He even involved his honor as a ruler to implore him and gather a part of the soldiers of his city. The rule was clear… Invoking his title for such maneuver implied he was certain the threat was real, and could only be overcome by bigger means. And that was what enraged him the most!

What happened proved that the menace was real! This man alone had defeated four shifters, humiliated the army that came to end him, and even had the unexpected help of this useless old dragon! Truly, the dumbest idiot could have told it was something big, that required the most serious attention!

And then, there was the other part… This move wasn’t successful. Their target was still alive. And four men had perished, the personal guards of the great ruler himself. This whole event could be summarized easily according to the laws. The ruler of another city had caused the unnecessary death of people from Northenheim. And there was no way, even for Odin, to let it slip.

On the way back home, Odin hadn’t spoken a word, lost in his thoughts. Loki heavily disliked these moments, not knowing what could cross his mind. Even after reaching Northenheim, he hadn’t addressed him a single look. The wait was the worst. The wait was driving him insane.

Loki genuinely feared the punishment that was suspended above his head. The more he waited, the hardest it became to dare approaching his hand to the wooden door. As to end this endless torture, it finally opened by itself, revealing the great Odin with a strange expression of exasperation on the face.

“My friend, haven’t we already spoken a thousand times about how I’d infinitely prefer you to knock frankly, rather than digging the stone with your nervous footstep? It makes it worse for the both of us. Come in…”

No word would escape Loki’s throat. His hesitation had already been a false step. This started bad for him…

“I wanted to tell you that I watched more of this man’s past, I’m ready to make report as soon as…”

“My friend, my friend… Do me a favor, will you?” Odin cut him calmly, making signs with his hands to calm down. “Just take a deep breath, and enter the room.”

“Y-You never allow anyone in here…”

“Well today seems like a perfect occasion to make an exception, doesn’t it?”

Loki didn’t like this; something in his guts told him this was wrong. But even then, he could never refuse a favor from the great Odin. He owed him too much to show any disrespect to him. The ruler of Westenheim breathed deeply as advised, then took a step, expecting to feel at any moment the thrust of a knife.

But Odin simply closed the door after him. He walked toward a big piece of furniture like only him could afford on this island, and opened it wide. Inside, there were bottles aligned, of different shapes and filled with strange colored liquids. Odin took one and poured its content into a cup. Then he came back at him, holding him the unknown beverage.

“How long have we known each other, Loki? Thirty, fourty years?”

Loki looked at the cup, grabbing it with hesitation. The tone of the conversation didn’t help. He was sure he wouldn’t get out alive.

“I met you when I was nine. So that makes thirty-four years.” He replied honestly, drink the whole content in one go.

The sensations didn’t lie. He could feel little burns in his throat, and a displeasing feeling grew more intense in his belly. That was it. Loki grimaced, waiting to convulse, suffocate, or anything else. But he felt a pat in his back, and from the surprise, a disgusting sound came out his mouth. And the sensation in his belly was gone.

“You look tensed, my friend. Are you sure you’re alright?” Odin asked with a risen eyebrow. “I just wanted to make you taste my little creations… You don’t seem to like it.”

A creation? Loki knew that the great ruler had all sort of hobbies he didn’t understand. In a way, this kept an aura of mystery and fascination around him, long gone in everyone else. It used to inspire him, to motivate him. Right now, it just left him… perplex.

Another trait Loki admired, was the fact that it was impossible to hide something from him. He always seemed to know what was in the heart of people. And thus… there was no use in masking his thoughts with him.

“After what happened… I honestly didn’t think you were simply offering me a beverage…” he said in a sheepish tone. He accepted it. He had failed, disappointed. And if there was anyone on this island he allowed to dispose of his life, it was the great ruler himself.

“And why so?”

“Why so?” Loki couldn’t help but react. “I inquired you to gather the army. We lost four men and weren’t successful in the end. I wonder how you’re allowing me to keep breathing after I brought disgrace on humankind…”

“Because this is how you would handle this situation?” Odin asked back with a little amused smile.

“I don’t understand…”

“Do you remember how we met, old friend?” The great ruler took the cup from his hand, and put it on the nearby table. He went taking another cup, and this time, poured the beverage seemingly for himself.

“It was in the council room.” Loki remembered indeed, though not proud of this moment in his life. “I had spied the moment you’d be alone to approach you.”

“Indeed.” Odin laughed frankly. “My guards had been signaling me your presence in the surrounding for a week. But since they never reported any thieving, any attack or even any clear intention behind this spying, I told them to do nothing. And I wasn’t disappointed with this choice.
You entered the room, with barely anything else than your clothes and a long stick. Because some random kids of the streets had told you it was some sort of protocol. You put a knee down and held you stick against the floor, and you spoke with a trembling voice. To this day, I still remember clearly how you introduced yourself, the exact words you pronounced. Do you?”

“I… I admit this is a memory I tried hard to erase… I may not recall the exact words.”

“I have a talent I want to put in your hands.” Odin imitated the passion of a nine years old kid. And Loki had to admit it made him feel even more embarrassed. “As a mark of respect and loyalty, I watched your entire life. It took me so long that I feel like I’ve lived along you every second of my existence. And I want to assist you in your noble task in every use your wisdom will see of me.”

A thick silence followed. Yes, Loki remembered. How weak he was, the laughing matter of the streets, the child with no tutor, raised by every rough man willing to teach him a lesson to toughen up. Apparently, it had amused a lot of them to teach him ways of speaking that sounded like perverted proposals, even at an age he couldn’t realize it.

Among all these pathetic low bastards who loved to humiliate weaker kids, Loki felt like he had a destiny. Because of his gift, he was able to see the most degrading moments of the most confident bullies. And he despised them even more for their moments of weakness.

Then in all this mud, his ears once heard of the great ruler of Northenheim, the man no one would even dare speaking badly of. This alone had motivated him to truly see him, with his own eyes. If even the strongest had their dark stories, he was curious to watch the secrets of the most admired ruler on the island.

He clearly wasn’t ready for what he saw… A man he couldn’t mock. A man he couldn’t criticize. A man that had suffered more than him, and did better than him. And of course, in contrast with the dirt he was used to, he might have been zealous when introducing himself. The passion of the youth.

“Before you, nobody really educated me on how to speak… especially to important figures.” Loki replied as only defense.

“Yes, the form had to be reviewed. But the message… I hadn’t been shaken like that in decades.” Odin resumed, like he remembered it a bit more fondly. “I’ll be honest, I first thought you were deranged. But that was also that day that I realized you were worthy of my attention, Loki.”

“I thought this was later, when a proper formation made me renew my vows in more… shaped words.”

“Oh, this was just the test you passed to convinced me you were ready to be put in the light. You’re well-placed to know that I don’t reveal all my interests to the common people.”

That was true, and kind of easily confirmable just by the beverage he drank. Most men and women knew nothing else in their lives than the taste of the city waters.

“My powers had to be really valuable to you.”

“Your powers? You were valuable to me.” Odin stated gladly. “The devotion I heard that day told me, this was the kind of men I wanted around me. Men with beliefs, who had unrecognized talent. Men everyone thought as garbage, because they hadn’t gotten their occasion to shine. Back then, you were a mystery for me to unravel, in need of maturity to guide you. I don’t tell you enough that I’m proud of where you are today, considering where you started from.”

“But…?” Loki asked prudently.

He was tempted to take the compliment for itself. He never refused recognition from the great ruler. But given the circumstances, Loki struggled to see where Odin was going with these old memories.

“But like everyone else, you can still improve in other fields. Not everything in this island wants to kill you, especially not me.”

“You think I’m wrong to be careful?”

“Being careful is right. Being paranoid is wrong.” Odin put down his cup and began to make hand gestures as he talked. “Look at you right now. You visit a friend you’ve been knowing for thirty-four years, and you were convinced that he wants to kill you. Have I ever executed someone because he disappointed or angered me?”

“Not that I know of… But you were ready to execute this man…”

“Because of our laws, not because I wanted to.” Odin shook the head, like it was obvious to him. “My intention was never to kill him. I only pushed it in the end because I had some credibility to keep, and because I saw the old one getting out of his cave. I knew it was to intervene even before he landed. Tell me you at least noticed this wasn’t a normal gathering. Normal men don’t understand my decisions. I like to think you’re not one of the average people.”

“I’ve been alongside you for a while, and indeed I have more questions in mind than most. I never saw you deploy such mean for a threat. That did seem strange to me, even if I involved my title.”

“Because this one, I took it seriously from the very beginning. It wasn’t the question of your title put in the balance. A close friend I trust warned me about a threat, I listened. And that bought me time to better apprehend the field.”

“So you’re saying that… I did good and I helped?” Loki summarized, barely believing it.

“Precisely. You remained on your guards, and kept me informed. One of the many great purpose you serve, in my eyes.” Odin finished the content of his cup. “I have a personal garden, that maybe I’ll show you someday. I like to make all kind of plants grow, it’s fascinating to see them bloom. Some of them are as delicate and fragile as they are beautiful. When a disease is visible on them, it is generally too late to save the plant.
So do you know what I do? I take even better care other plants around, more sensitive to diseases. When they get bad, then I know there is something worth of my interest. And I can treat the garden before the disease spreads to the others. I call them my sentinels. Without them, the whole garden would be devastated twice a year. The other plants might take all the attention with their beauty and perfume, but the truth is that they owe their elegance to the existence of the sentinels. The secret floral heroes only I appreciate to their right value.
This resembles the vision I have of you, my friend. You’re a sentinel. Most of the time, you get agitated for minor problems. Most people just have this image of you, panicked at everything, and don’t see the value of it. Me, on the other hand, I know your spectrum of fear and stress, and I recognize the patterns in it. When I don’t judge it’s dangerous, I just have to reassure you. When your state actually looks worrying to me, then I know there is a potential threat to humanity. Or something of interest. Generally, both are closely linked. By alerting me about this man, you permitted me to organize the response to it. You allowed me to know that I have to treat the garden.
To get truly efficient with others, you have to find the symbiosis field. Like your sense of insecurity and my calm mind. The first keeps the second informed, the second makes sure the first is dealt with properly. And thus both can overlook the defaults and even make use of them to provide security to everyone. This is symbiosis to me. When the collaboration becomes natural, with bigger results than their individual capacities would have provided separately.”

Odin often spoke in metaphors and little stories in private. To Loki, it was an endless source of interest, whatever the tone of the conversation. It always left him with a feeling that he learnt something, and liked hearing those. The great ruler was also a good orator.

“So you’re not mad about the situation? It seems the only result was four dead shifters of your guard, to no success. The… garden still isn’t treated.”

“Mh. Do you know what we got from this meeting?”

“As I said, four men killed and our honor trampled.”

“No, who cares about honor, but lower men in need of ideal? No, it was information. All forewatchers who made their report say the same. Their left eye couldn’t see this man. It confirms that he’s not someone normal. That, my friend, is precious. By bringing a diverse army, with many different talents and perceptions, I’m gathering more information on him than a hundred combats would have provided. An occasion I could have not gotten if you didn’t warn me.”

All forewatchers? One or two could be plausible, their future vision sometimes could vary with their health. In the army, there could be sick men. But all of them… it definitely was strange. Loki was unsure what to think, and preferred to keep silent as Odin continued.

“Although losing good men is always a tragedy, not recognizing the value of a discovery is a bigger one. Because the results aren’t immediate doesn’t mean I didn’t plant new seeds. What our men witnessed today was a more efficient order to stay away than I could have hoped for.”

“If you wanted your people to stay away, why not simply ordering it yourself?”

“Because an instruction is better followed if people think there is a good reason for it..” Odin smiled, like amused by the turn of the events “I admit, I had two scenarios in mind. Either this man most likely was a mad element justifying a larger deployment for a capture, or something extraordinary I’d want to observe. If I simply ordered to stay back after he killed two men, there would have been countless curious to interfere. Now they will patiently wait for us to take charge, and this means we have dream conditions to deal with this mad, extraordinary man. Tell me, have you looked around, or your assumption of your closing death focused all your mind?”

Alright, he deserved that one. Loki felt stupid for having been this distrustful toward Odin. But at the same time, he felt relieved to hear that the great ruler still had esteem for him. How could have it been another way? He was ashamed to have doubted the wisdom of the great ruler. He was who he was because he saw broader than minor rulers like him or Thor.

Loki took the time to look around, as advised. Besides a dragon skull on a wall, the rest wasn’t anything like other habitation rooms. In a corner another massive piece of furniture seemingly contained hundred and hundred of books. This collection alone was impressive, considering a single one of them would have made the pride of any person owning it. These objects were rare, and the material they were made of was a lost skill only known to Odin.

There wasn’t any bed or seat. Loki wondered if the great ruler ever rested or even sat elsewhere than in the council room. A corner was dedicated to strangely shaped metal and wooden object he never saw, the walls were filled with paintings of dream places or characters that didn’t wear scars.

However, what caught his interest for longer was a table in the other side of the room. The relief on it made him think of the dragon mountain, with the fields and even cities represented. It seemed like the great ruler had placed carved little figures on it. Plenty, even!

“I see that you’re intrigued by my map. I hoped you’d like it.” Odin walked closer to the table and began to point the wooden figures with a finger. “You see, most men believe in brutal force to win. I favor strategy and long hours of planning. Violence is easy, predictable, boring, easy to turn ridiculous and defuse when you get some experience of it. Worst of all, violence is generally close-minded. Violence would have killed this man at the first occasion. This desire, this bloodlust is what led to a general feeling of defeat among our men, when thinking of this event. While I got exactly what I wanted. Something new to conquer. This is a discovery I’m definitively glad you shared.”

The ruler of Westenhein looked at the scene with mixed feelings. There was an army of these little figures, it had probably taken ages to carve… What made him feel the most uncomfortable was the identification to a piece that vaguely resembled him, on the side of a taller character. In fact, this table was an exact representation of the recent event! But he couldn’t have placed them piece by piece between their return and now, it represented too much work… Had he planned this confrontation? Was it an actual proof Loki’s warning had indeed been taken seriously from the beginning? Or… someone else’s warning?

“I hate to say it but technically… isn’t it Fenrir who first told you about him?” Loki replied between his teeth. It almost hurt physically to say it.

“Who do you think people will believe between me and Fenrir?” Odin replied with a smile. “Better, how do you think Fenrir will feel about it, when you take the credits?”

“Mad, probably… I honestly admit I’m worried his anger might be turned toward me…”

“Oh my friend, you don’t know Fenrir as much as I do. He prides himself to be some sort of free thinker, too smart for the common mortals. He never voices it but everything in his behavior transpires it. Maybe he isn’t even aware that he feels like he’s better than the rest of us. If he’ll be mad toward someone, it will be me. I worked hard on focusing his resentment. He thinks you’re a pawn in some sick game of mine.” Odin chuckled, like he was describing a caricature. “And that is a thing you never learnt. To make the best use of proud people, to give them small victories, like faking losing your nerves to satisfy his need to feel like he has some power on you. Wearing the costume of the monster they see in you to please their rebellious desires.”

“Are you saying that every time you hardly remain calm in front of us… it’s fake? I even saw your turn reddish a few times… with all respect.”

“Non taken. Or rather, taken like a compliment. Even during the confrontation, I controlled my facial expression every time I sensed his eyes on me. This island is a theatre, my friend. With enough time and practice, everyone gets to fit perfectly in his role.” Odin let out with a smile that revealed a little pride. “As I see things, everyone is born equal, in a broader way than people usually do. I believe that everyone has an equal set of weaknesses and strengths, talents and fields of incompetence.
Take Fenrir, for example. Most citizens only see his bad sides… You got to admit he shows them a lot! Annoying, rude, always looking for a way to hurt you. Can you find other attributes?”

“I think that pretty much summarizes him, I’d dare to add ‘condescending’ to the list.”

“And yet…” the great ruler put both hands on the side of the table, and looked at the frozen scene. “He’s determined. He has values. He’s a good fighter, and a skilled forewatcher. He’s not the genius he thinks he is, but he’s certainly smarter than he looks. That makes a lot of qualities in my eyes.”

“When you speak like that, it almost sounds like you respect or like him.”

“Both, actually. Let me tell you another secret of life. When people are convinced to know how you are, they’ll mostly notice the elements that validate their point of view. Many think a ruler is necessarily heartless and cruel. That’s why people are so afraid of me. I’m an enigma to most, because they don’t see the point in me talking calmly when I have the power to impose my will. So they assume I have some kinds of secret weapons. As long as they don’t understand you through the specter of their own reality, you’ll be seen as potentially dangerous, unpredictable. I’m simple image of a menace, with enough power to be real. Fenrir is a loud-mouthed annoyance, with immunity. Again, just roles.
To anyone who’d ask, I’d sincerely reply that I feel respect and compassion to anyone, because everyone can be valuable and a source of knowledge under the right conditions. Every way of being has good sides others don’t explore. So yes, I play this never-ending game of hate with Fenrir, because I know it stimulates him. If you broaden your vision, maybe you’ll see that I do it out of respect for his nature. He needs enemies to live. I gave him the perfect one in me. Just out of reach, not far enough to be immune to his childish tease. And thus, he focuses his frustrations on me unless others give him reasons to tease them.
He knows that he first told me about this dangerous man. He assumes that I love to torment him. So he’ll assume that giving you the credits will be my idea to hurt him. Another of my sick games, from his perception. I’m just reinforcing this vision of his with something he will take as proof. And he’ll remain predictable.”

“Then… aren’t you afraid he’ll go after you? It seems to be a risky game you intend to play. From your own words, he can be dangerous…”

“Broader view, Loki, broader view.” Odin replied with a large gesture of the hands, as to symbolize the entireness of a scene. “Killing a ruler is an almost impossible task only two categories of people would attempt. The stupid, and the desperate. Fenrir belong to neither of those. He isn’t stupid. And if he was desperate, he isn’t anymore. Because he was right there.”

Odin pointed at a figure that was decorated with a carved dragon skull instead of the head. Recognizable among all, Loki wondered how he hadn’t noticed it sooner. If all the other pieces were alike, except for the wooden rulers, it probably meant that he saw a specific use of it.

“What do you think will happen, when after seeing the glorious rebellion of a single man, people will be thanking the one he hates the most for his own contribution?”

“I still very well think he’ll come after me…”

“Loki my friend, just as Fenrir has his defaults, you have your own. Your fear and lack of confidence clearly makes you think too narrow. You are not important to Fenrir, an annoyance at best. You seem to truly think he’s after you, but he only teases you more than the others because you give him matter to use against you.
Fenrir has already given up on being accepted. Humiliation upon a layer of rejection makes the most explosive rebellion. A need to assert and exist again. So what do you think he will do to hurt us the most?”

Loki naturally looked at the table, more specifically at the mountain. At the center, another humanoid figure was placed. He was surrounded by a legion of sticks. Visibly, the great ruler wouldn’t make the dragons the honor to get represented. There, this is where he’d go. To help the enemy of humanity.

“Indeed…” Odin nodded, noticing the direction of his look. “Try putting him there, and see what happens…”

Loki felt hesitant to the invitation to touch the great ruler’s property. He had seemingly spent so much time on it, what if he broke it by accident? He didn’t want to ruin Odin’s surprising good mood… But on the other hand, refusing to comply would assuredly upset him.

Carefully, Loki approached his hand and grabbed the dragon skull of the figure among the rows. He brought it over the edge of the mountain, right at the side of their enemy’s representation. And the ruler of Westenhein contained a little gasp. He hadn’t noticed there were little colored pigment on the figure until Fenrir’s seemingly attracted them.

“Colored iron specks with a magnet inside the figure. Nifty, isn’t it? One use only, but I thought seeing this would please you, and speak to you…”

“I don’t believe I’m wrong, if I say that it symbolizes the knowledge he will suck from this strange man? You want to study him through Fenrir?”

“Fenrir will want to learn as much as possible on him, to become like him. A rock in my shoe hoping to grow the size of a boulder. Fenrir dreams to defeat me, humiliate me even. So he’ll become the most loyal of his followers. All along he’ll never lose motivation because it would come from himself. His decision to fight against evil Odin and his forces.” The great ruler said with a forced laughter, like to mock the way Fenrir saw him. “Trying to change people to fit in a role is counterproductive. Instead, make the best use of their nature. I don’t know this man’s nature yet, but I know Fenrir’s. Make them want to achieve your goals, even unconsciously. Find their interest and make it shine in front of their nose. That’s when you obtain the best results.”

“Isn’t there a risk for Fenrir to become an actual menace? This man did stand against us and survived, even if it was for this old jerkish dragon…”

“Respect to elders, Loki.” Odin said on a less amused tone. “And you take the problem upside down. This man will most likely get to see things our way, or get down. In both cases, in the end, Fenrir will go back to his normal state of mind. Maybe will he even shut up for a while. If not, many would be glad to go after his head.

“But still, I hardly see how you’ll obtain any return on such investment. Fenrir won’t exactly come back here to tell you everything, in your scenario.”

“For now I don’t count on their good will. I count on you. Fenrir won’t stay much there; the presence of the dragons will be unbearable for him. Every time he’ll get out, he’ll be exposed.”

In Loki’s mind, the pieces began to fit together. Exposed to what? Obviously to the sight of anyone. And the ruler of Westenheim didn’t have to look that far to realize whose eyes would be the fittest for this task. Someone who could unwrap all the knowledge the forewatcher would have acquired.

“You want me to be there when he comes out.” Loki summarized. Of course it led to this. It was consistent with the circumstances. Without knowing, he had been playing one of Odin’s scenes. And the conclusion of it felt obvious, a bit frustrating.

“Would I be wrong to assume you’d like to spy on him?”

Loki looked away. Somehow it felt not only uncomfortable to be read like an open book, but also frustrating that it was entirely right. Just like the conversation foretold, he was like any of those whose nature had been understood by Odin. Loki had watched Fenrir’s life, several times. He despised the forewatcher even more for this. He dreamt of finding something that could turn this arrogant man into a docile pet, but nothing shameful he did in his life ever seemed to tickle his nerves.

“I see… make best use of everyone’s true motivations.”

“And of every situation. It is the dream moment to help you get more discrete.” Odin added putting a hand on his shoulder. “You understand why, do you?”

“I can’t spy on him if I’m the Loki in activity. I guess it means I still have to relinquish my title. But that still fits your vision.” Loki summarized his prediction made truth, sighing. Of course it couldn’t end entirely well. Odin himself couldn’t violate the sacred laws. Or didn’t want to. What he offered wasn’t to keep his title… What he offered was a plan for his new life as a simple citizen.

“Life always have ups and downs, my friend.” Odin spoke with compassion, noticing that it was felt like a great loss for him. True it brought many more troubles, but the position although carried many privileges. “You can choose to mourn over a temporary change of pace, or you can make the best of it. We’ll find a way to put you back to your rightful place eventually, it’s only a matter of time. If you look on the good sides of it, you have an opportunity to become a privileged interlocutor. My personal informer. My sentinel. And when you’ll be back in the light, you’ll be able to send everyone screw away, because you’ll have helped in neutralizing a threat even the army couldn’t overcome.”

Odin worked in mysterious ways, but his words always made the stories true sounding. At this moment, Loki didn’t doubt the events would follow this course and this course only. Even the ruler of Westenheim had to surrender to these plans.

“I will do as you judge wise. Could you at least tell me… what I’m relinquishing my title for?” Loki asked honestly, seeing no point in keeping it for himself. “You said your intention wasn’t to kill, so what do you hope to accomplish with this man?”

“You ask good questions sometimes.” Odin smiled, visibly happy it came in the discussion. “I don’t know yet myself. Capture, befriend, study, kill, interrogate… for now I’m rather curious about his motivations, and I want to make sure we don’t lose men stupidly. I don’t believe the old one got out of his cave for a random man. We have to know who we are dealing with. You said you saw more of his story?”

“Yes… When we were on the battlefield, I observed him all along. It was strange.” Loki remembered. “I had already told you that I saw holes in his history. When he began to act weird, it was like… the holes got filled. And it wasn’t pretty.”

Odin smiled at him and moved to the closet to get another cup of his beverage. If anything, he looked more pleased than Loki was himself.

“You’re natural in this task. I’m sure you’ll thrive.” The great ruler spoke calmly, taking a sip. “Now tell me more. And together we will set the theatre, for our roles to shine.”