Fanart I made of Lucia, a character created by Honeypaw @ www.furaffinity.net/user/honeypaw/ (sfw)

Click on the image for higher quality.

I honestly spent far too much time working on this and I kind of regret a lot of it. I really shouldn't have drawn this as my first image in nearly a year. I wanted to draw Lucia and she's such a beautiful amazing character and I really wanted to try my best. But I feel like I just tried too hard and tried too much. I've been working on this for like 3 months or something now on and off, in between coping and telling myself i'm a failure and i'll never be the same artist I used to be. With each new time I touched the picture, the things and problems I had to solve required more finesse and skill and eventually it just made me not ever want to touch or finish the image. Ultimately it led to me just erasing a lot of work on the image and just kind of forcing it out the door because I genuinely just want to move on from this and stop hating myself so much from unreasonable expectations i'm putting on myself for a first art piece.

For a first art piece in a year and considering how little anything i've put out since I dropped out of college. I'd say I personally exceeded any reasonable bar I should've set for myself, so I should be proud of myself for that. I just am too harsh on myself and expect too much out of myself.

I'll lower the bar substantially to where it really should be for me. I constantly feel like i'm fighting my past and my history and touching art again is always a painful and hard experience for me.

But this is getting ranty but I guess I just want to express a little of why no one has seen anything from me since I made my "promise"

Anyways, I hope you enjoy the picture. I'm uploading a copy of this without the background to my scraps.