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Chapter 34, and with it ends the first book :)
It means a lot to me to have finally completed this one, after years of imagining these premisces.
When I usually say the next will come soon, this time I prefer to say the next will take a while. And for a main reason.
I have been writting since my eigtheen, and today I'd like to move on with it. My plan is to rewrite this story in my original language (french) and try to see if I can make it into a physical book to sell. It's not even for the money, it's more like a life goal I set as a kid. Making a book some people would have in their collection. Maybe not many, maybe only as a decoration. But it would feel like I left my imprint on this earth, so with low expectations I'm going to throw myself in this little adventure, and see what I can get from it!
Maybe the wait will be long, maybe not. But not knowing anything in this field, I prefer not to leave everyone hoping to see another chapter just tomorrow^^ It doesn't mean I'll be inactive, but productivity wise on this site, it will be a little hiatus.
With these words, I leave you to what you probably came for, the finale of this first act^^ hope you enjoyed this story so far :)
“So let me get this straight. Odin is making mistakes, because he developed an obsession for a man he wants to control. And said man is able to make miracles, because he’s finding… what, exactly?” Joshua said, probably in need to take the conversation back to a level he could follow.
Skeptical he came, skeptical he remained. But the old one chuckled a bit at this. It was so nice to see the raw shape, with convictions as hard as a rock, just before everything would shatter the rough angles.
“This, you’ll have to see by yourself… which I think, shouldn’t take long.” The old one replied a bit mysteriously. It wasn’t nice to mess with young humans, but this one had still tried to kill him. It deserved some tease and frustrations. However, Joshua’s patience apparently ran dry.
“I let you a chance, dragon. But your tales are not realistic, and too vague to be believable. Because I don’t have much to do with my time doesn’t give you my approbation to waste it.”
“Something believable and realistic you want... Then you may want to look at this and carve it in your memory.”
“What so?”
“This.” The old one pointed at the dragon’s community and all that spread out of his cave with a little movement of the chin. “the land, the mountain, how it looks. This might be your last occasion to admire it the way it is.”
The ancient white dragon almost sang that last sentence. Childish, he knew. But so funny. Joshua hesitated, threw a frowning look at him, then gazed in the horizon. It was brief though. He released a sigh, and walked away to the plain.
It reminded the old one of his whole story with skeptical humans. He remembered how it used to frustrate him too in the beginning, to speak truth and not be heard. He had accepted that they were this way. Maturity took time. And Joshua was only at his start. Some might say this human will truly become himself when he stops being Joshua. But that was his story to live, his path to learn from.
The proof this young human needed was imminent now. He was told so. And the old one believed in its exactitude.
“Quite a wise advice you gave him there.” A ghostly echoing voice took the old one from his peaceful gazing. “After all this time, it still moves me to come in such early times, especially for the scenery.”
The gigantic white dragon turned the head, and a smile slowly drew on his muzzle when his eyes met a blurry white shape in the entrance of his cave. It wasn’t hard to notice, in the obscurity of the place. This being looked like he was made of pure light, and had the bad tendency to suddenly appear or vanish. But it was very familiar, and always a joy to be visited by.
“It’s precisely why I gave him such advice. Some things must be enjoyed while they last.” The old one chuckled. “I tend to see many old faces these days. Some that I missed more than I cared to admit. How are you, old friend?”
If anything with that figure, only the eyes weren’t blurry, and never lied. They held a great pain that the old one respected. But today, they seemed particularly melancholic. The dragon rose a paw, as to exempt the White Shadow to reply. And instead, he modified his question. At their age, it was never so unwise to postpone saddening subjects in profit of more joyful thoughts. As he used to say, who knew if he’d still be alive by the time the bad things actually happen?
“Are you here for the event?”
“The event, yes…” The White Shadow replied, a bit elusively. This being was never the clearly outspoken type, but the old one could sense when something was wrong. “This day seemed meaningful to you, I hoped to share it.”
“Of course it is meaningful. And I’m glad you came for it. Without that event, we both know that Odin would have won within the next days. It inspired fear in the hearts of hero’s enemies. It inspired hope to the dragons…”
“And it kind of was the first step in ruining the landscape…” the ghost sighed, visibly unable to share the same enthusiasm. “It is still untouched for now, right?”
“Yes, the original, good old timeless island. Beautiful isn’t it?” The old one giggled a bit, glancing at the young human that kept his long solitary walk, strangely closing distance with the community. Coincidences were always funny, likely or not. “It’s too bad that you missed Joshua. It would have given some more weight to my words”
“I miss him every day. That’s precisely why I missed him on purpose this time. Joshua won’t become who he’s supposed to be, if he’s forced to listen rather than discovering why he should listen.”
“Still it would have helped...” The old one replied with a shrug, pointing a claw in the direction of the walking human in the distance. He hadn’t gone that far yet. “You should have heard him. I can tell he’s starting with quite the thick skull. He makes it hard to remain nice.”
“He’s not the only one on this island… I guess you can’t blame an old friend for speaking his mind....”
“No, but you can blame an old friend for not telling honestly what’s on his mind.” The white dragon chuckled politely, to let him know that these detours were an outdated game. “You said you came to share. Why not telling me what’s wrong?”
The dragon regretted a bit to push him like this. He had the right gut feeling when he sensed something was wrong. In the eyes of the blurry shape, he met a solitude and sadness like the old one rarely saw.
“Do you mind… if we just watch, for now?” The ghost asked a bit imploringly. “I don’t want to ruin the event for you. I know you waited a long time to see it.”
Another way for him to ask for more time to gather words. This being may have incredible powers, but there were some domains he wasn’t the best at. Like bad news. The ghost wasn’t good at announcing bad news. But he let the gravity of it transpire a lot. Which quite gave him the reputation of bad omen among humans of this island. The pieces of good news were more forgettable.
The old one nodded in silence, then returned his gaze to the mountain. There always was all the time in the world for bad news. Especially when it wasn’t easy for a friend to speak it. And especially when there was a rejoicing event to balance. Fortunately, said event finally came breaking the heavy atmosphere.
It began with a bright light, emitted from the center of the dragons’ place. The predictions were right. Hero had found what he needed. It moved the ancient dragon’s heart to watch this light take shape, solidify, and starting to spread a shadow in alignment with the sun. It was so beautiful, and so symbolic… The old one even felt his eyes becoming a bit wet when the light faded away to leave a big wall blocking the land entrance of the place. Tastes and colors were subjective, but the ancient dragon definitely found the mountain more beautiful, with several meters tall wall that will prevent many bloodsheds.
The old one remembered overhearing some of devil’s speech before he intervened. The ancient dragon’s hearing had remained quite clear and sharp, even over long distances, and despite the years. The threats… Fortify the place in ten days, weaponize it in a hundred, dominate in a year. But devil was wrong. He underestimated hero, and what was left for him to win. Hero had reached the first milestone in three days. How long before he fulfilled the rest? The old one wasn’t supportive of devil’s ideals, but there was good in everything.
And this wall, in the eyes of the old one, was definitely a good thing. The last years had been so hard… With old age came the inability to protect, and it was so heartbreaking to witness innocent dragons die with no one to rescue them. Now for all of them, it would be a first taste of safety, and ironically, to some extent, freedom.
“And by the end of the third day, a barrier will erect to keep the threat away…” he recited the old prediction after a few seconds of silent gazing, still moved by such spectacle. “That gave me chills!”
“I would say the same but… No physical body and such…” the ghost emitted an echoing sad laughter. His own eyes were fixed on this wall too. “Does it… make it worthwhile for you?”
Some would have taken this question for insensitive and condescending, but the old one was too much of an expert in the White Shadow to not decipher it.
“You mean living this long just for what seems like a minor reward?” the ancient dragon chuckled, perfectly knowing the answer to that. “It was worth every breath. It is not only a symbol for the dragons or the humans, it’s one for me. And you know why. Your problem isn’t the wall, am I wrong?”
The ghost sighed. Touché. He had more important matter at hand than this wall, that was certain.
“Nothing lasts, here what’s wrong.” The white shadow dropped, sounding strangely discouraged despite the etherical voice. “Even this event, so important and historical, will get eventually lost in time.
Humans in the future don’t remember the date of construction. Nobody wrote it down. They are more focused on how diplomatically problematic it became. When the trends change, when the mentalities lean toward opening to the others, it’s badly seen to reside within a fortress. They forget why it was built, and point at it like a ‘shame of the past’ to finally destroy it. Forgetting for good that it was one day necessary. This is humans’ history. This is everything’s history. Nothing ever lasts.
Sure we can rejoice, feel happy. But it would be just one meaningless fraction of time in comparison of all the troubles it will cause. As if even the purest and most meaningful acts were doomed to either spread more evilness, or be forgotten. This wall, Joshua…”
“…me?” The old one filled his hesitation with a guess he saw coming.
Even after all this time, the truth speaking horror and impressed surprise in the ghost’s eyes had some effect on the ancient dragon. Like a dreadful confirmation. The White Shadow made detours because the subject that occupied his mind… was him. He definitely wasn’t good with bad news.
“It is a bit ridiculous, but I used to think that you and I were the last of those who were left behind… The others just… continued.”
“And you’ve seen in the day that you truly become the last.” The old one spoke the obvious conclusion of this charade.
Of course… What else could put the White Shadow in such state, but the loss of someone he thought of as an equal?
The old one never saw himself as such, but he knew that his old friend held him in high esteem. Maybe more than any other living on this island. Like him, he had existed for a very, very long time. Most didn’t get the etherical being, but sometimes he did. The pain he carried was similar to all who outlived their closed ones.
It was strange… After so long, the old one had almost forgotten such day was ineluctable. But he didn’t really feel scared for himself. Right now, he was more worried about the way his old friend received it. Like his loved one, so long ago.
“I feared I might forget my promise.“ The white shadow moved the upper part of his blurry body, probably a vaporous equivalent of a nod. “So I went, when I was sure I’d have the courage to do it right. I wanted, just one time, to be able to come to you and tell you that I’ve finally done it.”
Although tragedies didn’t have much effect on him anymore, probably because he expected most of them, the old one felt his throat getting tighter. Especially with on particular element of his speech that rang a bell. Being aware of an imminent death was a thing… A farewell was another.
“‘just one time’…This is the last time we speak together, isn’t it? You never wanted to go before. So this was the last chance you had…”
“It’s the thing I always liked with you… you read through me, it makes it simpler to tell…” The White Shadow confirmed in his way. “Whether we like it or not… It all began. And you’re part of their history now, just like I am. The breaches I can exploit are getting thinner the closer we get to the end. For you, indeed, it will be our last conversation before the conclusion. For me… It’s already over. I completed our story together. A big wall called death always stops my friends to keep walking by my side eventually. I can always pay a visit behind the wall, but it won’t ever be you again. Just… past versions. I kept this day for the last because I thought it could make it a happier goodbye. But… I’m not happy.”
There the mystery of his bad opinion of the event went solved. He projected his dark thoughts on this physical wall, and by extension, focused on the symbol of separation. The ancient dragon had a long life, so he fully understood that despairing feeling of outliving all cherished ones. Even if it was still nothing compared to the curse of eternity.
There was never a happy way to say a last goodbye to a friend. That was probably among the things the White Shadow had forgotten in his long existence, away from human feelings. There was no way to happily say goodbye, but it was always possible to be happy to forget it for one last moment.
“Maybe because you don’t make the right use of this last time…” the old one spoke gently.
“What do you suggest?”
“If I were you, I’d seize the opportunity to get answers. I know that you never visited her… which means you never will. She told me. Isn’t there anything you’d like to ask?”
“She made it pretty clear that she never wanted to have me in her life. I respected her choice. There are two possibilities only. Either she was happy, away from me. Or hurt because of what I did to her. I’m not sure I would take well either of those.”
“That doesn’t sound like a question.” The old dragon smiled, although he moderated the tease.
The ghost looked in his eyes, and the ancient could see the remaining of a fear. Almighty as he was, the White Shadow had its own demons, relic of a time he was himself human.
“Did she ever wish having me in her life?”
“More than you’d think. Sometimes more than me.” The old one chuckled a bit. “She regretted those words you know. She hoped that she hadn’t made your duty heavier. But she was happy, I made sure of it. And she was dedicated to her work. Because she loved it more than anything. More than once, I heard her saying you definitely didn’t give her the life she wanted. But the life she needed instead.”
the White Shadow sighed, turning its back. The little ‘pssh’ the dragon could hear when droplets of liquid light fell on the rocky ground, were proof that there was still a part of him deep in this vaporous body. With no physical cheeks to hold them, tears were harder to hide.
“Do you think I did good? I keep asking myself this question…” With his echoing voice, it sounded like a wind of pure resignation.
“I think my answer, like all the others I could give, would have no real value to you if you don’t think so yourself.” The old one spoke prudently. “For what it’s worth, I can’t imagine my life or hers being another way. Separations always hurt, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad thing. All of them are temporary, like this wall meant to fall one day. It’s a way life has to force you to take your own path, to evolve, to grow up. Then one day, the wall falls and what’s on the other side is a better version of what was taken. Without separation, you wouldn’t feel the joy of a long-expected reunion.
If humans never got deprived of their nastiest hobby, they wouldn’t eventually learn to recognize the horrors they perpetrated. If the dragons never tasted what safety and security were, they wouldn’t face the injustice of their own condition. If this wall never got erected, maybe humans in the future wouldn’t experience their social crisis. But would they even come to better ways of living? Life had always worked that way, even for us. Life is not rational, makes mistakes… Without mistakes to learn from, there is no progression. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t have my fair share of hard time, just like her. That’s why I wouldn’t trade any day I lived for any futile pleasure in this world.”
“You haven’t seen the future I saw. You don’t even know if you were right to fight for it. Just like her. Just like Adam, Helios, Nimera, Joshua, and all those who sacrificed their lives for merely a hope.”
“Yet am I wrong? Was hero, or any of the others, only fooling themselves with hope? Or were they right to do all they could for it?” The old one pointed, as demonstration of his own faith. He didn’t know the end, not yet. Yet this was a bet he was sure to win, for unlike the White Shadow, he had lived among the others. And understood their nature, in bad as in good. “And in the future, because it seems like humans still have a future according to your words, do they get better through new false steps and confrontations, however horrible they can be? Or do they naturally change their mind when everything is calm and peaceful for them? Don’t they still need their mistakes to become mature?”
There was a short silence, then the ghost emitted a little chuckle. The old one couldn’t tell what was going through his mind as he stared at the wall. But he sensed that his words had slightly changed his vision of it.
“You manage to find a sense and a beauty in what infuriates and puzzles me. When have you become so wise, old friend?”
“Probably somewhere over the last million years…” the ancient dragon joined the laughter, in tribute to the absurdity of their unnatural lifespan.
It felt light, to just laugh with an old friend. It was how the dragon pictured himself in the end. Honorable, laughing at everything, not worrying for futilities. And yet, a persistent pinch in his heart kept on reminding this couldn’t last forever.
“Are you still mad at hero? For all he did and… will do?”
“So mad that I sent him in myself, with all those I wish never were by his side.” The ghost sighed. “The truth is, I fully get that some things are necessary or unavoidable. But that doesn’t change how hard it is to face. Especially alone. Will I still be able to do what needs to be done, with no one to tell me I’m right to do it?”
To that, the ancient dragon had the perfect answer.
“I wouldn’t be there, if you wouldn’t succeed in guiding the new generation. But you already know that, right? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked me if I was happy with my life. That’s the thing you do. You have immense powers, but you always needed a validation, a choice. My choice is to keep things the way they are supposed to be. Remembering that will help you make the right choices, like they were mine. I’m sure of it.”
“I sometimes wonder… if you’re not the one of us who knew the other the best all along.” It started like an echoing laughter, but the tone went darker as the ghost continued. “My powers never equaled your lucidity, your talent for understanding the mechanisms of this world, and your eternal positivity. I will… truly miss those. Thank you, old friend. Thank you for all you did in my name, and in the name of the livings.”
“The world is very welcome. Just make sure to be okay, alright? For me and for her…” The ancient dragon gladly took the gratefulness. If it was the last opportunity to hear it from a being who understood his life, then screw modesty. “And maybe you could tell me now, relieve me from a doubt. Do you remember which one you are?”
There was hesitation from the White Shadow, but there never was an answer. Goodbyes weren’t his thing. And maybe the question precipitated it. The ancient dragon could forgive him, especially for the hardest of all goodbyes.
So that was it. He already had this feeling when he saw hero for the first time, but now it was somehow official. The end of his long wait was approaching. With its lot of emotions and events. It was so exciting. But he also knew he had a great part to play before his last breath. He had just told the White Shadow to follow the great scheme, so the old one couldn’t fail at his own mission.
For that, he had to recall the history… what he was supposed to do, when and how the events occurred. Starting with this wall that now stood like a sign of the confrontations to come. The old one knew that Hero had to change in depth, to be able to create it. Its presence meant that he stopped running from his demons. But what exactly happened will always be a mystery. That was definitely something he should have asked his old friend.
All he knew was that one day, hero was supposed to descend in that room… and would never be the same after that. He was never told what she left there for him… His loved one never told this secret.
“Adam, it’s you… I’d recognize your crappy face anywhere.” Jozie spoke the obvious.
Even to Nimera, the resemblance was striking. And yet, humans looked all the same to her, except maybe for the two she accompanied. Maybe also because he wore the same clothes as the original except… clean of any blood. The body was sitting back against the wall. It was inanimate, but the first thing that came across the mind of the dragoness was… why was it chained then?
Besides, that word above, written in red like it was painted with blood, gave her chills down the spine. She didn’t even know this word, ‘V.I.T.R.I.O.L.’. But disposed like this, it resembled the way Adam had hung the first shifter Killian slayed. With the same kind of message, probably a grim warning. Was it a human thing, to communicate through dead bodies?
“I can see that… And as far as I know off, I’m an only child, so it’s certainly not a twin brother…” Adam replied, walking around but at same distance to examine the body under different angles.
“And what do you think it means, Vitriol? Isn’t it a poison? Do you think someone is mad against you?” Jozie asked.
“Lots of someone want me dead. But none I could think capable of such… display.”
“It resembles the way you hung that shifter the other day…” Nimera pointed out, unable to keep it to herself any longer. “Do you think someone is sending you a message too?”
Adam glanced at her, probably giving her idea a thought, then walked closer, inspecting the chains. They seemed short, not longer than a meter each. And the shackles were fixed around the wrists and legs of the body. It would have been enough to move in the restrained area, but the body seemed lifeless anyway.
“A message possibly… very, very probably even.” Adam said while he inspected closer, putting two fingers on the neck of the body like to check vitals. “I think someone wants me to look in the mirror and discover something about myself. And I think this thing has something for me if I figure this out.”
“How would you know that?” Nimera asked with curiosity. This was surprisingly precise for a guess.
“Jozie, you said vitriol was a poison… What else is it? Doesn’t the red give you a hint? Something we were fascinated about when younger?”
A bit confused, the dragoness looked at the female human and saw her face turning into a suspicious expression. She rose an index, and spoke like she wasn’t sure of her guess.
“Are you talking about the acronym in alchemy?”
“Exactly. If this thing wears my face, then I think it was left for my interpretation. And my first thought wasn’t about the poison.”
“I have no idea what you two are talking about.” Nimera admitted out loud. With all the other objects, she didn’t mind being a silent observer. But while the rest bathed these humans in felicity, this discovery made them both nervous. She could sense it, and it was contagious. She didn’t want to get lost in their jibber-jabber.
“Alchemy was an occult science based on the idea of transmutation. Known by many as a quest of wealth and immortality, through a supposed ability to change a material into another. I always took it in a more philosophical sense. Turn poor materials into precious ones, for me it’s a metaphor of self-improvement, of spiritual and moral elevation. And those who hoped for solid gold were idiot fools seduced by a greedy promise of material goods. Vitriol is indeed a poison, but also the acronym of an alchemy sentence that perfectly illustrates my point of view, and could fit to the situation all too well.”
“Which is?”
“Visita Interiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem. Visit the inside of earth, and by correcting, you’ll find the hidden stone.” He quoted. Maybe was it nervousness, but Nimera thought she saw the body twitch a finger as he spoke these words. “The old one did say I was supposed to find something… isn’t it a bit big of a coincidence?”
With the background, the dragoness began to understand why he’d think that way. This indeed seemed like a direct reference. It should mean good news, that Adam could find something to defend them more efficiently. But then why did she feel so uneased? And didn’t all this contradict what he just said? To seek and obtain something material when his conception pointed at something spiritual? Nimera didn’t dare to say it, for it might have been ridiculous of a way of thinking, on a subject she didn’t grasp.
“For someone who seemed so affected to find the dead woman just on the other side of the room, you seem pretty detached when it’s your body.”
“It’s because it’s not.” Adam replied, knocking the head of the body that emitted a strange noise, metallic even. “I felt it the second I touched it, it’s synthetic skin. That’s a mannequin. Or a turned off robot. Very realistic from the outside though, it even has hairs and all…”
“An artificial being?” Nimera asked, like to make sure she understood the term. The old one had told her that humans possessed and could make all kinds of wonders in olden times. She remembered questioning if her mentor hadn’t fallen in delirious fantasies, the day he told her humans could make creatures able to talk and move like live beings without reproduction, a long time ago. The dragoness always wanted to see one to be sure of their existence.
“That’s the overall idea, but this one seems inactive. I don’t even hear a sound coming from in there.” Adam replied pensively, putting his ear against the chest of the body. Then, he grabbed the head of his mirror self, in exasperation. “Raaaah… I wished there was something more concrete! What am I supposed to correct in me to find that gem? Is that inside of this robot? I’d like to at least know what I’m looking for before I stick my arm in it! Couldn’t your creator leave you with a more precise message?”
“Couldn’t ours? You could already be thankful his creator didn’t leave him naked.” Jozie threw with a trait of humor “Besides, if that’s your plan, it should be interesting to watch.”
That did make him smile, and laugh a bit. But maybe was it because of such distraction that Adam didn’t see it coming.
Suddenly, the right arm of the mannequin leaped to grab his skull, while the other took grasp on his right forearm. It happened too fast, even for Adam to react. In an instant, the automat opened its eyes and replied in a similar voice to Adam’s.
“I have a message. Follow your steps. There is nothing else you can do.”
In horror, Nimera froze as Adam began to convulse violently. Jozie reacted more promptly, already leaping in action. But by the time she reached him, it was already over. The hands of the double fell like dead weights. And so did Adam.
It means a lot to me to have finally completed this one, after years of imagining these premisces.
When I usually say the next will come soon, this time I prefer to say the next will take a while. And for a main reason.
I have been writting since my eigtheen, and today I'd like to move on with it. My plan is to rewrite this story in my original language (french) and try to see if I can make it into a physical book to sell. It's not even for the money, it's more like a life goal I set as a kid. Making a book some people would have in their collection. Maybe not many, maybe only as a decoration. But it would feel like I left my imprint on this earth, so with low expectations I'm going to throw myself in this little adventure, and see what I can get from it!
Maybe the wait will be long, maybe not. But not knowing anything in this field, I prefer not to leave everyone hoping to see another chapter just tomorrow^^ It doesn't mean I'll be inactive, but productivity wise on this site, it will be a little hiatus.
With these words, I leave you to what you probably came for, the finale of this first act^^ hope you enjoyed this story so far :)
“So let me get this straight. Odin is making mistakes, because he developed an obsession for a man he wants to control. And said man is able to make miracles, because he’s finding… what, exactly?” Joshua said, probably in need to take the conversation back to a level he could follow.
Skeptical he came, skeptical he remained. But the old one chuckled a bit at this. It was so nice to see the raw shape, with convictions as hard as a rock, just before everything would shatter the rough angles.
“This, you’ll have to see by yourself… which I think, shouldn’t take long.” The old one replied a bit mysteriously. It wasn’t nice to mess with young humans, but this one had still tried to kill him. It deserved some tease and frustrations. However, Joshua’s patience apparently ran dry.
“I let you a chance, dragon. But your tales are not realistic, and too vague to be believable. Because I don’t have much to do with my time doesn’t give you my approbation to waste it.”
“Something believable and realistic you want... Then you may want to look at this and carve it in your memory.”
“What so?”
“This.” The old one pointed at the dragon’s community and all that spread out of his cave with a little movement of the chin. “the land, the mountain, how it looks. This might be your last occasion to admire it the way it is.”
The ancient white dragon almost sang that last sentence. Childish, he knew. But so funny. Joshua hesitated, threw a frowning look at him, then gazed in the horizon. It was brief though. He released a sigh, and walked away to the plain.
It reminded the old one of his whole story with skeptical humans. He remembered how it used to frustrate him too in the beginning, to speak truth and not be heard. He had accepted that they were this way. Maturity took time. And Joshua was only at his start. Some might say this human will truly become himself when he stops being Joshua. But that was his story to live, his path to learn from.
The proof this young human needed was imminent now. He was told so. And the old one believed in its exactitude.
“Quite a wise advice you gave him there.” A ghostly echoing voice took the old one from his peaceful gazing. “After all this time, it still moves me to come in such early times, especially for the scenery.”
The gigantic white dragon turned the head, and a smile slowly drew on his muzzle when his eyes met a blurry white shape in the entrance of his cave. It wasn’t hard to notice, in the obscurity of the place. This being looked like he was made of pure light, and had the bad tendency to suddenly appear or vanish. But it was very familiar, and always a joy to be visited by.
“It’s precisely why I gave him such advice. Some things must be enjoyed while they last.” The old one chuckled. “I tend to see many old faces these days. Some that I missed more than I cared to admit. How are you, old friend?”
If anything with that figure, only the eyes weren’t blurry, and never lied. They held a great pain that the old one respected. But today, they seemed particularly melancholic. The dragon rose a paw, as to exempt the White Shadow to reply. And instead, he modified his question. At their age, it was never so unwise to postpone saddening subjects in profit of more joyful thoughts. As he used to say, who knew if he’d still be alive by the time the bad things actually happen?
“Are you here for the event?”
“The event, yes…” The White Shadow replied, a bit elusively. This being was never the clearly outspoken type, but the old one could sense when something was wrong. “This day seemed meaningful to you, I hoped to share it.”
“Of course it is meaningful. And I’m glad you came for it. Without that event, we both know that Odin would have won within the next days. It inspired fear in the hearts of hero’s enemies. It inspired hope to the dragons…”
“And it kind of was the first step in ruining the landscape…” the ghost sighed, visibly unable to share the same enthusiasm. “It is still untouched for now, right?”
“Yes, the original, good old timeless island. Beautiful isn’t it?” The old one giggled a bit, glancing at the young human that kept his long solitary walk, strangely closing distance with the community. Coincidences were always funny, likely or not. “It’s too bad that you missed Joshua. It would have given some more weight to my words”
“I miss him every day. That’s precisely why I missed him on purpose this time. Joshua won’t become who he’s supposed to be, if he’s forced to listen rather than discovering why he should listen.”
“Still it would have helped...” The old one replied with a shrug, pointing a claw in the direction of the walking human in the distance. He hadn’t gone that far yet. “You should have heard him. I can tell he’s starting with quite the thick skull. He makes it hard to remain nice.”
“He’s not the only one on this island… I guess you can’t blame an old friend for speaking his mind....”
“No, but you can blame an old friend for not telling honestly what’s on his mind.” The white dragon chuckled politely, to let him know that these detours were an outdated game. “You said you came to share. Why not telling me what’s wrong?”
The dragon regretted a bit to push him like this. He had the right gut feeling when he sensed something was wrong. In the eyes of the blurry shape, he met a solitude and sadness like the old one rarely saw.
“Do you mind… if we just watch, for now?” The ghost asked a bit imploringly. “I don’t want to ruin the event for you. I know you waited a long time to see it.”
Another way for him to ask for more time to gather words. This being may have incredible powers, but there were some domains he wasn’t the best at. Like bad news. The ghost wasn’t good at announcing bad news. But he let the gravity of it transpire a lot. Which quite gave him the reputation of bad omen among humans of this island. The pieces of good news were more forgettable.
The old one nodded in silence, then returned his gaze to the mountain. There always was all the time in the world for bad news. Especially when it wasn’t easy for a friend to speak it. And especially when there was a rejoicing event to balance. Fortunately, said event finally came breaking the heavy atmosphere.
It began with a bright light, emitted from the center of the dragons’ place. The predictions were right. Hero had found what he needed. It moved the ancient dragon’s heart to watch this light take shape, solidify, and starting to spread a shadow in alignment with the sun. It was so beautiful, and so symbolic… The old one even felt his eyes becoming a bit wet when the light faded away to leave a big wall blocking the land entrance of the place. Tastes and colors were subjective, but the ancient dragon definitely found the mountain more beautiful, with several meters tall wall that will prevent many bloodsheds.
The old one remembered overhearing some of devil’s speech before he intervened. The ancient dragon’s hearing had remained quite clear and sharp, even over long distances, and despite the years. The threats… Fortify the place in ten days, weaponize it in a hundred, dominate in a year. But devil was wrong. He underestimated hero, and what was left for him to win. Hero had reached the first milestone in three days. How long before he fulfilled the rest? The old one wasn’t supportive of devil’s ideals, but there was good in everything.
And this wall, in the eyes of the old one, was definitely a good thing. The last years had been so hard… With old age came the inability to protect, and it was so heartbreaking to witness innocent dragons die with no one to rescue them. Now for all of them, it would be a first taste of safety, and ironically, to some extent, freedom.
“And by the end of the third day, a barrier will erect to keep the threat away…” he recited the old prediction after a few seconds of silent gazing, still moved by such spectacle. “That gave me chills!”
“I would say the same but… No physical body and such…” the ghost emitted an echoing sad laughter. His own eyes were fixed on this wall too. “Does it… make it worthwhile for you?”
Some would have taken this question for insensitive and condescending, but the old one was too much of an expert in the White Shadow to not decipher it.
“You mean living this long just for what seems like a minor reward?” the ancient dragon chuckled, perfectly knowing the answer to that. “It was worth every breath. It is not only a symbol for the dragons or the humans, it’s one for me. And you know why. Your problem isn’t the wall, am I wrong?”
The ghost sighed. Touché. He had more important matter at hand than this wall, that was certain.
“Nothing lasts, here what’s wrong.” The white shadow dropped, sounding strangely discouraged despite the etherical voice. “Even this event, so important and historical, will get eventually lost in time.
Humans in the future don’t remember the date of construction. Nobody wrote it down. They are more focused on how diplomatically problematic it became. When the trends change, when the mentalities lean toward opening to the others, it’s badly seen to reside within a fortress. They forget why it was built, and point at it like a ‘shame of the past’ to finally destroy it. Forgetting for good that it was one day necessary. This is humans’ history. This is everything’s history. Nothing ever lasts.
Sure we can rejoice, feel happy. But it would be just one meaningless fraction of time in comparison of all the troubles it will cause. As if even the purest and most meaningful acts were doomed to either spread more evilness, or be forgotten. This wall, Joshua…”
“…me?” The old one filled his hesitation with a guess he saw coming.
Even after all this time, the truth speaking horror and impressed surprise in the ghost’s eyes had some effect on the ancient dragon. Like a dreadful confirmation. The White Shadow made detours because the subject that occupied his mind… was him. He definitely wasn’t good with bad news.
“It is a bit ridiculous, but I used to think that you and I were the last of those who were left behind… The others just… continued.”
“And you’ve seen in the day that you truly become the last.” The old one spoke the obvious conclusion of this charade.
Of course… What else could put the White Shadow in such state, but the loss of someone he thought of as an equal?
The old one never saw himself as such, but he knew that his old friend held him in high esteem. Maybe more than any other living on this island. Like him, he had existed for a very, very long time. Most didn’t get the etherical being, but sometimes he did. The pain he carried was similar to all who outlived their closed ones.
It was strange… After so long, the old one had almost forgotten such day was ineluctable. But he didn’t really feel scared for himself. Right now, he was more worried about the way his old friend received it. Like his loved one, so long ago.
“I feared I might forget my promise.“ The white shadow moved the upper part of his blurry body, probably a vaporous equivalent of a nod. “So I went, when I was sure I’d have the courage to do it right. I wanted, just one time, to be able to come to you and tell you that I’ve finally done it.”
Although tragedies didn’t have much effect on him anymore, probably because he expected most of them, the old one felt his throat getting tighter. Especially with on particular element of his speech that rang a bell. Being aware of an imminent death was a thing… A farewell was another.
“‘just one time’…This is the last time we speak together, isn’t it? You never wanted to go before. So this was the last chance you had…”
“It’s the thing I always liked with you… you read through me, it makes it simpler to tell…” The White Shadow confirmed in his way. “Whether we like it or not… It all began. And you’re part of their history now, just like I am. The breaches I can exploit are getting thinner the closer we get to the end. For you, indeed, it will be our last conversation before the conclusion. For me… It’s already over. I completed our story together. A big wall called death always stops my friends to keep walking by my side eventually. I can always pay a visit behind the wall, but it won’t ever be you again. Just… past versions. I kept this day for the last because I thought it could make it a happier goodbye. But… I’m not happy.”
There the mystery of his bad opinion of the event went solved. He projected his dark thoughts on this physical wall, and by extension, focused on the symbol of separation. The ancient dragon had a long life, so he fully understood that despairing feeling of outliving all cherished ones. Even if it was still nothing compared to the curse of eternity.
There was never a happy way to say a last goodbye to a friend. That was probably among the things the White Shadow had forgotten in his long existence, away from human feelings. There was no way to happily say goodbye, but it was always possible to be happy to forget it for one last moment.
“Maybe because you don’t make the right use of this last time…” the old one spoke gently.
“What do you suggest?”
“If I were you, I’d seize the opportunity to get answers. I know that you never visited her… which means you never will. She told me. Isn’t there anything you’d like to ask?”
“She made it pretty clear that she never wanted to have me in her life. I respected her choice. There are two possibilities only. Either she was happy, away from me. Or hurt because of what I did to her. I’m not sure I would take well either of those.”
“That doesn’t sound like a question.” The old dragon smiled, although he moderated the tease.
The ghost looked in his eyes, and the ancient could see the remaining of a fear. Almighty as he was, the White Shadow had its own demons, relic of a time he was himself human.
“Did she ever wish having me in her life?”
“More than you’d think. Sometimes more than me.” The old one chuckled a bit. “She regretted those words you know. She hoped that she hadn’t made your duty heavier. But she was happy, I made sure of it. And she was dedicated to her work. Because she loved it more than anything. More than once, I heard her saying you definitely didn’t give her the life she wanted. But the life she needed instead.”
the White Shadow sighed, turning its back. The little ‘pssh’ the dragon could hear when droplets of liquid light fell on the rocky ground, were proof that there was still a part of him deep in this vaporous body. With no physical cheeks to hold them, tears were harder to hide.
“Do you think I did good? I keep asking myself this question…” With his echoing voice, it sounded like a wind of pure resignation.
“I think my answer, like all the others I could give, would have no real value to you if you don’t think so yourself.” The old one spoke prudently. “For what it’s worth, I can’t imagine my life or hers being another way. Separations always hurt, but it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad thing. All of them are temporary, like this wall meant to fall one day. It’s a way life has to force you to take your own path, to evolve, to grow up. Then one day, the wall falls and what’s on the other side is a better version of what was taken. Without separation, you wouldn’t feel the joy of a long-expected reunion.
If humans never got deprived of their nastiest hobby, they wouldn’t eventually learn to recognize the horrors they perpetrated. If the dragons never tasted what safety and security were, they wouldn’t face the injustice of their own condition. If this wall never got erected, maybe humans in the future wouldn’t experience their social crisis. But would they even come to better ways of living? Life had always worked that way, even for us. Life is not rational, makes mistakes… Without mistakes to learn from, there is no progression. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t have my fair share of hard time, just like her. That’s why I wouldn’t trade any day I lived for any futile pleasure in this world.”
“You haven’t seen the future I saw. You don’t even know if you were right to fight for it. Just like her. Just like Adam, Helios, Nimera, Joshua, and all those who sacrificed their lives for merely a hope.”
“Yet am I wrong? Was hero, or any of the others, only fooling themselves with hope? Or were they right to do all they could for it?” The old one pointed, as demonstration of his own faith. He didn’t know the end, not yet. Yet this was a bet he was sure to win, for unlike the White Shadow, he had lived among the others. And understood their nature, in bad as in good. “And in the future, because it seems like humans still have a future according to your words, do they get better through new false steps and confrontations, however horrible they can be? Or do they naturally change their mind when everything is calm and peaceful for them? Don’t they still need their mistakes to become mature?”
There was a short silence, then the ghost emitted a little chuckle. The old one couldn’t tell what was going through his mind as he stared at the wall. But he sensed that his words had slightly changed his vision of it.
“You manage to find a sense and a beauty in what infuriates and puzzles me. When have you become so wise, old friend?”
“Probably somewhere over the last million years…” the ancient dragon joined the laughter, in tribute to the absurdity of their unnatural lifespan.
It felt light, to just laugh with an old friend. It was how the dragon pictured himself in the end. Honorable, laughing at everything, not worrying for futilities. And yet, a persistent pinch in his heart kept on reminding this couldn’t last forever.
“Are you still mad at hero? For all he did and… will do?”
“So mad that I sent him in myself, with all those I wish never were by his side.” The ghost sighed. “The truth is, I fully get that some things are necessary or unavoidable. But that doesn’t change how hard it is to face. Especially alone. Will I still be able to do what needs to be done, with no one to tell me I’m right to do it?”
To that, the ancient dragon had the perfect answer.
“I wouldn’t be there, if you wouldn’t succeed in guiding the new generation. But you already know that, right? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked me if I was happy with my life. That’s the thing you do. You have immense powers, but you always needed a validation, a choice. My choice is to keep things the way they are supposed to be. Remembering that will help you make the right choices, like they were mine. I’m sure of it.”
“I sometimes wonder… if you’re not the one of us who knew the other the best all along.” It started like an echoing laughter, but the tone went darker as the ghost continued. “My powers never equaled your lucidity, your talent for understanding the mechanisms of this world, and your eternal positivity. I will… truly miss those. Thank you, old friend. Thank you for all you did in my name, and in the name of the livings.”
“The world is very welcome. Just make sure to be okay, alright? For me and for her…” The ancient dragon gladly took the gratefulness. If it was the last opportunity to hear it from a being who understood his life, then screw modesty. “And maybe you could tell me now, relieve me from a doubt. Do you remember which one you are?”
There was hesitation from the White Shadow, but there never was an answer. Goodbyes weren’t his thing. And maybe the question precipitated it. The ancient dragon could forgive him, especially for the hardest of all goodbyes.
So that was it. He already had this feeling when he saw hero for the first time, but now it was somehow official. The end of his long wait was approaching. With its lot of emotions and events. It was so exciting. But he also knew he had a great part to play before his last breath. He had just told the White Shadow to follow the great scheme, so the old one couldn’t fail at his own mission.
For that, he had to recall the history… what he was supposed to do, when and how the events occurred. Starting with this wall that now stood like a sign of the confrontations to come. The old one knew that Hero had to change in depth, to be able to create it. Its presence meant that he stopped running from his demons. But what exactly happened will always be a mystery. That was definitely something he should have asked his old friend.
All he knew was that one day, hero was supposed to descend in that room… and would never be the same after that. He was never told what she left there for him… His loved one never told this secret.
“Adam, it’s you… I’d recognize your crappy face anywhere.” Jozie spoke the obvious.
Even to Nimera, the resemblance was striking. And yet, humans looked all the same to her, except maybe for the two she accompanied. Maybe also because he wore the same clothes as the original except… clean of any blood. The body was sitting back against the wall. It was inanimate, but the first thing that came across the mind of the dragoness was… why was it chained then?
Besides, that word above, written in red like it was painted with blood, gave her chills down the spine. She didn’t even know this word, ‘V.I.T.R.I.O.L.’. But disposed like this, it resembled the way Adam had hung the first shifter Killian slayed. With the same kind of message, probably a grim warning. Was it a human thing, to communicate through dead bodies?
“I can see that… And as far as I know off, I’m an only child, so it’s certainly not a twin brother…” Adam replied, walking around but at same distance to examine the body under different angles.
“And what do you think it means, Vitriol? Isn’t it a poison? Do you think someone is mad against you?” Jozie asked.
“Lots of someone want me dead. But none I could think capable of such… display.”
“It resembles the way you hung that shifter the other day…” Nimera pointed out, unable to keep it to herself any longer. “Do you think someone is sending you a message too?”
Adam glanced at her, probably giving her idea a thought, then walked closer, inspecting the chains. They seemed short, not longer than a meter each. And the shackles were fixed around the wrists and legs of the body. It would have been enough to move in the restrained area, but the body seemed lifeless anyway.
“A message possibly… very, very probably even.” Adam said while he inspected closer, putting two fingers on the neck of the body like to check vitals. “I think someone wants me to look in the mirror and discover something about myself. And I think this thing has something for me if I figure this out.”
“How would you know that?” Nimera asked with curiosity. This was surprisingly precise for a guess.
“Jozie, you said vitriol was a poison… What else is it? Doesn’t the red give you a hint? Something we were fascinated about when younger?”
A bit confused, the dragoness looked at the female human and saw her face turning into a suspicious expression. She rose an index, and spoke like she wasn’t sure of her guess.
“Are you talking about the acronym in alchemy?”
“Exactly. If this thing wears my face, then I think it was left for my interpretation. And my first thought wasn’t about the poison.”
“I have no idea what you two are talking about.” Nimera admitted out loud. With all the other objects, she didn’t mind being a silent observer. But while the rest bathed these humans in felicity, this discovery made them both nervous. She could sense it, and it was contagious. She didn’t want to get lost in their jibber-jabber.
“Alchemy was an occult science based on the idea of transmutation. Known by many as a quest of wealth and immortality, through a supposed ability to change a material into another. I always took it in a more philosophical sense. Turn poor materials into precious ones, for me it’s a metaphor of self-improvement, of spiritual and moral elevation. And those who hoped for solid gold were idiot fools seduced by a greedy promise of material goods. Vitriol is indeed a poison, but also the acronym of an alchemy sentence that perfectly illustrates my point of view, and could fit to the situation all too well.”
“Which is?”
“Visita Interiora Terrae Rectificando Invenies Occultum Lapidem. Visit the inside of earth, and by correcting, you’ll find the hidden stone.” He quoted. Maybe was it nervousness, but Nimera thought she saw the body twitch a finger as he spoke these words. “The old one did say I was supposed to find something… isn’t it a bit big of a coincidence?”
With the background, the dragoness began to understand why he’d think that way. This indeed seemed like a direct reference. It should mean good news, that Adam could find something to defend them more efficiently. But then why did she feel so uneased? And didn’t all this contradict what he just said? To seek and obtain something material when his conception pointed at something spiritual? Nimera didn’t dare to say it, for it might have been ridiculous of a way of thinking, on a subject she didn’t grasp.
“For someone who seemed so affected to find the dead woman just on the other side of the room, you seem pretty detached when it’s your body.”
“It’s because it’s not.” Adam replied, knocking the head of the body that emitted a strange noise, metallic even. “I felt it the second I touched it, it’s synthetic skin. That’s a mannequin. Or a turned off robot. Very realistic from the outside though, it even has hairs and all…”
“An artificial being?” Nimera asked, like to make sure she understood the term. The old one had told her that humans possessed and could make all kinds of wonders in olden times. She remembered questioning if her mentor hadn’t fallen in delirious fantasies, the day he told her humans could make creatures able to talk and move like live beings without reproduction, a long time ago. The dragoness always wanted to see one to be sure of their existence.
“That’s the overall idea, but this one seems inactive. I don’t even hear a sound coming from in there.” Adam replied pensively, putting his ear against the chest of the body. Then, he grabbed the head of his mirror self, in exasperation. “Raaaah… I wished there was something more concrete! What am I supposed to correct in me to find that gem? Is that inside of this robot? I’d like to at least know what I’m looking for before I stick my arm in it! Couldn’t your creator leave you with a more precise message?”
“Couldn’t ours? You could already be thankful his creator didn’t leave him naked.” Jozie threw with a trait of humor “Besides, if that’s your plan, it should be interesting to watch.”
That did make him smile, and laugh a bit. But maybe was it because of such distraction that Adam didn’t see it coming.
Suddenly, the right arm of the mannequin leaped to grab his skull, while the other took grasp on his right forearm. It happened too fast, even for Adam to react. In an instant, the automat opened its eyes and replied in a similar voice to Adam’s.
“I have a message. Follow your steps. There is nothing else you can do.”
In horror, Nimera froze as Adam began to convulse violently. Jozie reacted more promptly, already leaping in action. But by the time she reached him, it was already over. The hands of the double fell like dead weights. And so did Adam.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 30.7 kB
Listed in Folders
Alright, now thats FA is back online I can share my belated comment.
First, I liked it a lot. It's good to have a proper story from you untainted by fetishes. Though you ask for critics so here are a few:
-this last chapter is not really an ending for me. Sure it ends the world discovering part, but it don't *feel* like a book end. If you make the second book (please do !) then it would make sense, but as a standalone book ? In particular with my second point.
-You develloped too much some character for the influence they had in this book. The main exemple is this josha. It lasted for too long. You *just* planted the seeds that there will be more about him, but we have no idea what, why or when, and it happens right at the end of the book ? I don't find it wise to introduce a new key character in so lengthy a manner right at the end. I understand that you want to use it later on so you have to add him now to avoid a deus ex-machina, but again, not with a whole psychological lesson. The same can be told about that forewatcher with the dragon skull. I rememeber feeling that the chapter about him was long and slow, though with him at least we know the purpose. We easily know he will come to help Adam. And the chapter with Odin... I think it was good in itself, carrying the idea that he is not just some evil vilain that want to kill everything and all. No, I think it was a good idea, but I also think you could use some introduction to it. Staring to lay seeds about it earlier. I didn't re-read it all before reading the recent chapter. I only red the few last, so it may just be me not remembering them here.
That's all I can think of right now. It's been several days I've read it all, I may have forgottzn something.
As for your idea of publishing it... I know at least one bookshelve that would make some space to accomodate a stray book XD
But here again, critics. No doubs you might have thougt of it a lot, but just in case...
It will be hard to find someone to publish it as you are a new writer, so I suppose you will self-publish it. In this case I don't think you should publish it in french. My reasonning : if you self publish, you will rely a lot on people talking about it and do your promotion, so you need a first group of people to know about it to start the loop. The thing is, most people here won't be able to do so because they won't be able to read french. So you will lack you basegroup and you have a higher chance of your book being forgotten. Even if you don't do it for money, it would be good to at least get back what you invested in printing a batch of them. So I think sticking to english for now is better.
In any case I would buy it (can I haz a signed copy plz :p ?) And I wish you luck Ith it. I for one wouldn't mind if you turned full time writer XD
Aaaand I think that's it... it only took an hour writting it on a phone... jeez. Anyway, have a good day !
First, I liked it a lot. It's good to have a proper story from you untainted by fetishes. Though you ask for critics so here are a few:
-this last chapter is not really an ending for me. Sure it ends the world discovering part, but it don't *feel* like a book end. If you make the second book (please do !) then it would make sense, but as a standalone book ? In particular with my second point.
-You develloped too much some character for the influence they had in this book. The main exemple is this josha. It lasted for too long. You *just* planted the seeds that there will be more about him, but we have no idea what, why or when, and it happens right at the end of the book ? I don't find it wise to introduce a new key character in so lengthy a manner right at the end. I understand that you want to use it later on so you have to add him now to avoid a deus ex-machina, but again, not with a whole psychological lesson. The same can be told about that forewatcher with the dragon skull. I rememeber feeling that the chapter about him was long and slow, though with him at least we know the purpose. We easily know he will come to help Adam. And the chapter with Odin... I think it was good in itself, carrying the idea that he is not just some evil vilain that want to kill everything and all. No, I think it was a good idea, but I also think you could use some introduction to it. Staring to lay seeds about it earlier. I didn't re-read it all before reading the recent chapter. I only red the few last, so it may just be me not remembering them here.
That's all I can think of right now. It's been several days I've read it all, I may have forgottzn something.
As for your idea of publishing it... I know at least one bookshelve that would make some space to accomodate a stray book XD
But here again, critics. No doubs you might have thougt of it a lot, but just in case...
It will be hard to find someone to publish it as you are a new writer, so I suppose you will self-publish it. In this case I don't think you should publish it in french. My reasonning : if you self publish, you will rely a lot on people talking about it and do your promotion, so you need a first group of people to know about it to start the loop. The thing is, most people here won't be able to do so because they won't be able to read french. So you will lack you basegroup and you have a higher chance of your book being forgotten. Even if you don't do it for money, it would be good to at least get back what you invested in printing a batch of them. So I think sticking to english for now is better.
In any case I would buy it (can I haz a signed copy plz :p ?) And I wish you luck Ith it. I for one wouldn't mind if you turned full time writer XD
Aaaand I think that's it... it only took an hour writting it on a phone... jeez. Anyway, have a good day !
Hi and thank you for the contructive critic, as I didn't get a lot^^
-to be true, the first book was supposed to end later, but I felt like such endind would have been a deus ex machina for most without the explanations that follow. A problem that should be fixed as in french, I'd have to do more than 34 chapter for this first one. I admit I cared a lot about planting some... things, and the number of chapters was important^^But it's true it ended a bit brutally, even to my taste. However, and you'll probably understand later with the other book, this was symbolically the end of a phase, following an established model to give it a more personal dimension.
-I'd say this second point is an area of improvement indeed, since after all the book is for the readers and I don't want to bore them on the track. But at the same time, I'm quite happy that it felt like the first time Joshua appeared. Means I hid my clues well enough :3 From the beginning I wrote it as a project of five books, so indeed it may feel like only a beginning since I intend to make those play parts in the next books. That's why I'm considering revising my decision and write the second book first. In a way, this was all a big introduction. But in the end, managing so many different characters and element is truly something I struggle with
Oh, truth be told, I don't even expect success^^ It would indeed be self publish (there is a print shop nearby my place), and it would mainly be so people around me can read, since IRL I may be the only one in my surroundings to talk/read english. But even here, I didn't have such success, really few reacted to the story, probably because it wasn't fetish indeed, so I'm not sure it would change much things to rely on such promotion. But I'm not against the idea either to make english versions that I could sell online.
The thing is also that I block with writing in french back again. Probably lost the habit, but it just doesn't sound the same. So I don't really know what to do yet. I should probably get back to continuing the story in english and finish it first...
But of course I'd sign any copy, it's not like I'd be some J.K. Rowling with millions of books to sign, Of course I'd take the time to do it.^^
-to be true, the first book was supposed to end later, but I felt like such endind would have been a deus ex machina for most without the explanations that follow. A problem that should be fixed as in french, I'd have to do more than 34 chapter for this first one. I admit I cared a lot about planting some... things, and the number of chapters was important^^But it's true it ended a bit brutally, even to my taste. However, and you'll probably understand later with the other book, this was symbolically the end of a phase, following an established model to give it a more personal dimension.
-I'd say this second point is an area of improvement indeed, since after all the book is for the readers and I don't want to bore them on the track. But at the same time, I'm quite happy that it felt like the first time Joshua appeared. Means I hid my clues well enough :3 From the beginning I wrote it as a project of five books, so indeed it may feel like only a beginning since I intend to make those play parts in the next books. That's why I'm considering revising my decision and write the second book first. In a way, this was all a big introduction. But in the end, managing so many different characters and element is truly something I struggle with
Oh, truth be told, I don't even expect success^^ It would indeed be self publish (there is a print shop nearby my place), and it would mainly be so people around me can read, since IRL I may be the only one in my surroundings to talk/read english. But even here, I didn't have such success, really few reacted to the story, probably because it wasn't fetish indeed, so I'm not sure it would change much things to rely on such promotion. But I'm not against the idea either to make english versions that I could sell online.
The thing is also that I block with writing in french back again. Probably lost the habit, but it just doesn't sound the same. So I don't really know what to do yet. I should probably get back to continuing the story in english and finish it first...
But of course I'd sign any copy, it's not like I'd be some J.K. Rowling with millions of books to sign, Of course I'd take the time to do it.^^
It's not the fisrt time joshua appears ? Now don't say that, i'll have to re-read it :p. And as for the number od chapter mattering.... I have no idea what it may entice. I'm glad you planned it to be so long that it would fit 5 books. That's quite a challenge you impose on yourself.
About making it personal... from what I have read from you and of you, I would bet you see yourself in Adam in some way. About all your characters in your other storie have a common root (fighter, philosopher,smart,calm...). Be carefull not to make it *too* personal.
About the lack of feedback here. I like to think it's not just because the lack of fetish content. I don't like thinking people so simpleminded. I rather think that with your real life kicking in and your post rate dropping, a bunch of your non-watching fan forgot about you.
And lastly, about your block with french... I'm experiencing a similar thing but as a reader. I've been reading almost exclusingly in english for the past few years. All of it fantasy and most of it dragon-related. When I pick up a french book though... it feels hollow ? The words are there, but the feelings are not. I thougt it a good book before, but it no longer feels like. All of that to say... if it feels weird, it doesn't mean it's bad.
Have a good day, learner !
About making it personal... from what I have read from you and of you, I would bet you see yourself in Adam in some way. About all your characters in your other storie have a common root (fighter, philosopher,smart,calm...). Be carefull not to make it *too* personal.
About the lack of feedback here. I like to think it's not just because the lack of fetish content. I don't like thinking people so simpleminded. I rather think that with your real life kicking in and your post rate dropping, a bunch of your non-watching fan forgot about you.
And lastly, about your block with french... I'm experiencing a similar thing but as a reader. I've been reading almost exclusingly in english for the past few years. All of it fantasy and most of it dragon-related. When I pick up a french book though... it feels hollow ? The words are there, but the feelings are not. I thougt it a good book before, but it no longer feels like. All of that to say... if it feels weird, it doesn't mean it's bad.
Have a good day, learner !
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