So over the holidays I was out with otterface, and we decided to go eat. The place of choice was The Macaroni Grill, because pasta is just SO delicious apparently, and I was pretty close to getting us lost amidst the insanity that is downtown during a Boxing Week Blowout Sale. Being the easiest place to get to, we headed there.

BUT NOTHING IS EASY. Holy crap, the shenanigans of stressed Gulo Gulo's trying to find parking in teeny-tiny parking garages is not a good thing. Imagine rabid, gluttonous beasts, wielding chainsaws from their toes, foaming at the mouth at an utter lack of space. It wasn't a pretty sight. Then some woman swooping in on our parking spot (which otterface found with his X-Ray Vision Super Goggles), when clearly, us entering in through the exit only lane was by far more legal and gave us priority. I mean, SHIT! Where were we supposed to go now?? Exit through the Entrance Only thingum? No.

So, since we were royally screwed either way, we decided to just procreate in that very spot, and took the "Expecting Mothers" parking spot, which is good because otterface had a bad knee after kicking some Killer Attack Bears in the groin inside the restaurant. Wait, that happened later.

So we went inside, and ate delicious bread after waiting exactly 24.3 minutes to get it. It was actually really terrible. Upon our arrival the lady tending to our every needs placed before us in a wondrous dish, this magical concoction of balsamic vinegar, olive oil and ground pepper. And let me tell you, it smelt good. While the temptation was high to dip utensils and shards of broken glass in to it in order to eat it, we refrained in hopes of bread.

BUT IT NEVER CAME111!! The otterface was near imploding, which was terrible for me because it's really cold, and he's really warm when he's not imploded. Fortunately, though, this is where the Killer Attack Bears came in.

It actually turned out that the Master Chef of the Macaroni Grill was Evil. Yes, Evil. And had trained Killer Attack Bears (three of the polar bear variety, and one brown bear), which proceeded to attack us. They had apparently already made short work of everyone else in the restaurant, but somehow we just didn't notice this. Suddenly feeling weak as an expecting mother with child, I was unable to move nor flee, but otterface dove in. Fangs bared, and frisky, he fought the KAB's off with his bare hands, while simultaneously cooking our food. The lights dimmed, and he looked in to my eyes, their depths sparkling like the night sky in the ambience of the candle light, and the creepy pedophile on the wallpaper staring at us in a manner we weren't entirely comfortable with.

All in all, it was a lovely meal in good company, and left us feeling very refreshed and full, and ultimately more aware of the world around us.

Oh, yeah. There were also three crayons on our table, and out of no where.. Svelna totally drew herself on there. Also... the bread was bloody delicious.