Winter’s Magic

It is that time of year again. I can smell the falling temperature in the air and the forest is carpeted in a rustling, multi-coloured blanket of leaves. Winter is almost here. I wrap my paws around myself, as if this feeble gesture will somehow protect me against the ache in my heart. Winter is by far my favourite of the seasons, and yet it brings with it the inevitable longing and the painful memories of the one perfect season I had.

It was a late autumn day, much like today, and I was slowly making my way through the forest. I was going nowhere in particular, just enjoying the wilderness around me and taking deep breaths of the cool air. It was sunny that day, I think, but I was not paying much attention to the sky. There is something so very soothing about wandering aimlessly in the heart of a giant forest, with no obligations or cares clouding my mind. And thus, with my thoughts full of joy, I found her.

I brushed aside thick branches of a towering pine tree and stepped into a meadow, and there she was. No doubt she had heard me coming, for I had made no effort to walk silently, but she was just standing in the middle of the small clearing. I swear she was smiling and I knew instantly that she had been patiently waiting for me for some time. I had frozen as soon as I spotted her, for I did not wish to frighten her. Normally horses are very suspicious of wolves, but then she was no ordinary horse. She was Winter.

There are no words adequate to describe how beautiful she appeared to me and how she took my breath away. She seemed very imposing, standing there with the grass around her gradually freezing. She was heavily built, with massive feathered legs and thick grey mane reaching almost to her knees. Her coat seemed to change colour before my eyes, some of it being as pure white as fresh snow, while some had taken on the beautiful blue glow of a sunless winter day. As I slowly approached her, I saw that unlike my breath that was forming small clouds in front of me, her breath was freezing the air around her. My heart beat a little fast as I reached out to touch her and I was surprised to find her flank warm under my paw. She turned her head to look at me, and in her eyes I saw warmth and age old wisdom. I stared deep into her grey eyes and felt as thought I had finally found my way home.

I spent the entire day with her. She seemed to relish being touched and so I gently brushed my paws down her neck, over her flanks and across her back. Her mane felt surprisingly soft under my paws as I carefully pulled stray leaves and small twigs from its tangles. At one point I felt something cold touch my ear and when I looked up, I saw that it had started to snow. Large, soft flakes were falling all around us, hiding the rest of the world behind a curtain of whiteness. I felt no hunger, cold or tiredness while I stayed by her side and it was only when the night fell that I realised how much time had in fact passed. I stroked her neck one last time and then reluctantly took a step back. As I did so, she turned her head and I swear she was smiling again. I moved to walk away from her, but much to my surprise she fell in step with me. When I stopped she did so too and there was an amused spark in her gentle eyes. I shrugged and rested my paw on her neck. Together we walked through the forest in the thickening snow. I wondered how I had never noticed how beautiful the soft glow of new snow on a winter night could be.

I invited her into my den, but she opted to stay outside. That was probably wise, since my den was rather cosy just for me, let alone for the both of us. I offered her some apples and carrots, which she ate with an amused air of someone who does not need food to survive. I also offered her a blanket but she seemed to have no need for such gesture. She appeared completely content with a thick layer of snow gathering on her. She stood in the shadow of an oak tree and even thought I knew where she was, I had trouble making out her shape through the increasing snow fall. I gave her one final pat and bade her good night.

When I woke up the following morning, I was sure the events of the day before had been merely a vivid dream. I wolfed down my breakfast and hurried out, expecting to see just the winter’s first snow. But she was waiting for me by the den entrance, clear of snow but as beautiful as ever. The world around us had been transformed into a winter paradise of shockingly bright carpet of fresh snow and all the bare branches were covered in a delicate icing of new frost. My pulse quickened as I looked into her warm eyes and I was finally certain that she was not merely a figment of my lonely imagination. As it was, I could not wait to spend the day with her.

She seemed somehow satisfied now that I was outside with her. She stamped her huge hooves against the ground a few times and then lifted her head high, letting out a commanding neigh. Almost instantly I felt a strong gust of wind around me as the northern wind answered the summons of Winter. She turned away from the gale and rearing high breathed out a cloud of air so cold I could hear the tingle of the tiny snow crystals. The wind took hold of the frost cloud and carried it far beyond my home forest, leaving ice and snow in its wake.

Her task finished, she walked to an old tree stump by my den and tossed her head to indicate that I should climb on her back. I had never been astride a horse before, magical or otherwise, but with her it was easy. Her wide back offered a comfortable seat for me and she had plenty of mane into which I could sink my paws for added support. Her gaits were soft and even and soon I was no longer clutching her mane with my paws. I stopped worrying about the considerable distance from her back to the ground and shifted my eyes to take in the wintry scenes we were slowly passing. When we reached the frosty plains and she speeded to a slow canter, I could no longer hold back a wild whoop of joy. Hearing my howl, Winter moved effortlessly to a gallop and we flew across the plains like a silver arrow. Clouds heavy with snow trailed behind us and hid the forest in flurries of falling flakes.

She took me far away from my den that day and in those following, showing me new lands and bringing the frost and snow with her wherever we went. She regularly summoned the four winds to carry her season beyond our reach and the northern lands slept under a thick cover of snow. We climbed high into the mountains, exploring hidden valleys and marvelling the view from the roof of the world. We crossed lakes and rivers and the waters froze over underneath her feathered hooves. We observed from a distance as the last flocks of migratory birds headed south and watched as bears hurried to their dens for hibernation in the falling snow. My grey and white winter coat blended in with hers and we passed through the world unseen.

My love for her knew no bounds. Mind you, it was not romantic love, for I was just an ordinary wolf and she a being of magic. It was more as if I recognised something in her, something that I had been unconsciously looking for my entire life. No words were needed between us, we only spoke with look and touch. How she had come to find me, I do not know. Perhaps my loneliness had resonated across the frozen world and guided Winter to me, or perhaps it was the other way round. On the day I found her on that small clearing, maybe it was I who had responded to her silent calls. I think once a mortal lifetime Winter got so lonely she sought a companion to ease the ache in her heart. I was honoured to have found my soul mate.

She stayed with me the whole winter and it was the best time of my life. While wolves were generally pack animals, I had always been a loner but now my few friends saw even less of me. Winter always faded into the blue shadows when others were around and so I tended to avoid everyone so as to just be with her. I did speak with the elder folk enough to find out that the winter was coldest and snowiest anyone could remember. This was hardly surprising, for this year Winter herself blessed the forest with her presence. Every day she sent frost and snow with the winds to all directions, but there was nevertheless plenty left over for our forest. I had never been happier.

Then came the inevitable day when my winter paradise came to an end. Winter had been nervous for some days, summoning the winds with increasing impatience. But that day, even when her voice was filled with rage and command, the north wind did not come. The wind was blowing from the south and we could both smell warmth and rain in that breeze. Winter’s powers over the winds had faded and they now obeyed a different master. She looked at me with her grey eyes full of sadness and I felt a similar pang of grief within me. We had both known that spring would come eventually, but we had tenaciously refused to dwell on it, preferring to enjoy each day together in full. As she rested her heavy head against my shoulder, I knew that it was time for her to go. She was a creature of snow and frost and could not stay to face the warmer seasons. The seemingly endless sorrow in her eyes also told me that she would not be returning here next winter. Perhaps she was only allowed to seek the comfort of another being once a lifetime. It seemed like such a cruel fate and all I could do was clutch pawfuls of her mane as I hugged her close to me and repeated over and over how much I loved her. Far too soon she stepped away from me and letting out a neigh full of sadness, she left me standing alone amidst a winter scene from a fairytale. I collapsed to the ground and wept inconsolably, as I felt my heart break into millions of pieces.

I doubt anyone has ever greeted spring with as much impotent rage as I did that year. As the snow melted and the world was born anew, I sunk into black depression. I stayed in my den, barely ate or slept, and just grieved for my lost soul mate. It is likely that my depression would have killed me, had I not found that Winter left a little bit of her magic behind. I was fetching water one day, when I found tiny hoof prints near my den. My curiosity piqued, I followed them to a meadow, where I found a daffodil yellow foal chasing butterflies. He looked so joyous that I smiled despite myself. Part of me detested him, for he was the one who had banished my beloved Winter. But that he was able to make me smile, even for a brief moment, told me that my life could and would go on. Although I would always be aware of my loss, my broken heart would not kill me. Part of me wished it would, but a greater part stubbornly believed that even without my Winter, life might have more to offer.

I never saw Winter again, but I did catch glimpses of the others as the seasons passed. Spring remained forever a young foal, frolicking across fresh green meadows on gangly legs. Birds, bees and butterflies seemed utterly enamoured with him and he left spring flowers in his wake wherever his hooves touched the ground. Summer blended perfectly into the rich greens of a summer forest. Instead of mane, she had waves of ivy cascading down her neck and she carried a distinct scent of earth after rain about her. No animal feared her and she would often pause to inspect a fox cub or a newborn fawn. Autumn pranced through the forest with the air of a sudden thunderstorm. His copper coat flashed in the sunlight and he seemed to have endless clouds of brightly-coloured dry leaves whirling around his hooves. Wherever he went, apples turned rosy red and bee hives dripped with honey. They were all magnificent creatures, but their beauty did not touch me as Winter’s had. I never tried to approach any of them and they never showed any sign of acknowledging that I could see them. We followed parallel paths that never crossed.

Now I am an old wolf, with poor eyesight and stiff joints. I never stopped missing Winter, but the months we shared are stored in my memory as fresh as ever and they have left a precious imprint upon my soul. I have led a quiet, content life, although no earthly love could have ever come close to how I felt about my soul mate. Even now I venture out on nights so cold that my breath forms tiny ice crystals on the tips of my fur, when the forest is lit by millions and millions of stars. I wander through the woods, oblivious to the fierce cold, until I reach the end of the forest where the plains begin. I can almost see my younger self and Winter speeding across the frozen land. The mountains are too far for me to reach on my own, but I turn to look upon them anyway. I raise my nose toward the stars and let my howl travel through the frozen air. I howl so that somewhere a horse the colour of snow and shadows moving tirelessly through winter landscape may know that there is someone, somewhere, who loves her forever.










#########

So this was my entry in the Anthrofiction Network's Winter 2009 Short Story Contest, and I was more than surprised to find that it won. I thought  panzergulo's entry was better, but then there were only 0.03 points between us.

This story took a relatively long time to write, because I felt that I had to taste every word in my head before it could be written out. Difficult to explain. I still really like the atmosphere and mood of the story and it feels particularly appropriate since the world around me is currently blanketed in snow. The story also inspired me to draw this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3038422

Story and characters are mine.