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Pregnancy Diary
Week 9
Day 1
Insomnia become my constant phenomenon. This heaviness in the belly will not let me rest. Want to sleep sweetly in unison. But I only get awkward discomfort in my bed. And by the way, the habit of going to the toilet more often did not disappear. At least 7 or 8 times I visited.
After drinking black and green tea, well, this is such a mixture of black and green teas, Io and I went to institute. As usual, during the week, to obtain specific skills. Many of my familiars did not come today. This is due to the emission of bacteria outbreak across the city. It is not surprising; microorganisms are increasingly increasing their resistance to drugs. This is not surprising, but making a better version of that drug is not so simple.
As soon as we returned home, I suddenly felt cold. I had to cover myself with a blanket. But unlike me, Io was chipper. Maybe I'm really weakened?
Day 2-5
Nothing to describe. Well how? I just wanted to feel as before, but it turned out as usual.
Day 6
The day passed so-so. The first thing I had to face, so it is with jeans. I wanted to go somewhere with Io, but they asked me a task. As soon as I put them on, the button could hardly be fastened. And at the same time, I felt unpleasantly tight.
- Damn ... Am I so fatter? Where were the scales?
By the way, my weight was about 67 kilograms. And now, when I sat down today, then added somewhere else 10. Eh? It's ... how it happened? I certainly expected weight gain. But so much ... Maybe it's time to lose weight? And that Io will constantly mock me about this. But where can I get a tracksuit? And where to run, autumn is in the yard. Can I do home physical education? Although ... Okay, me not up to it. It is necessary to solve at least the first problem. Since these jeans are tight for me, then I have to look for others, a little wider. Taking Arzeriz's pants is risky. Then, it is necessary to take from the pope. After scouring in the closet for several minutes, I stumbled upon old gray-blue pants. They are like 50 years old, well, to hell with them, the main thing is to be reliable. Putting them on, it became somehow a little more comfortable, but they turned out to be a little big for me. I asked Io if we have a belt? He said the belt was in one of the lockers on the nightstand.
When I began to lean toward the nightstand, I felt a sharp pain on the lower back and heaviness in the lower abdomen. I gritted his teeth, holding his hand over the sore spot. Belt was in the bottom drawer. Putting a belt on the found jeans around his waist, Io and I finally left the house. Io waited in frustration.
The purpose of our walk was simple - to walk us through unfamiliar streets and find out what's there. Although our city was not as big as the capital, our tongue doesn’t turn out to say it by the village. The town was filled with both shopping and “deserted” streets. The streets of Karl Liebknecht, Chicherin and Toscanelli attracted our attention. All these streets were far from central. Therefore, we expected their "deafness". Passers-by were either very few or not at all. In addition to the sounds of wind and nature, there was silence. In such places it was really interesting. But not in my current position. After Karl Liebknecht me this walk is beginning to bore. But my dear brother insisted on going there. Although I could not refuse him, but my perseverance decreased significantly. I wanted to sit down somewhere. And the eerie atmosphere of old houses and trees scared me to goosebumps. As soon as we passed Toscanelli street, I could no longer walk. Io was tired too, and we sat down on a bench near the square. After resting a little, my brother and I finally came home. I lay on the bed like a mummy, after such a walk, you can go crazy.
Day 7
After yesterday, my legs seemed swollen. Whine, even fall! The nausea inside me begins to manifest much more noticeably. Io is already beginning to bother, and a little later, Natasha.
Week 10
Day 1
My health moved closer and closer to a critical point. In addition to fatigue, drowsiness was added. My eyes did not want to see anything. I do not have time to finish writing in a notebook. The condition is just disgusting.
Day 2
I couldn’t sleep normally that night. My eyes were sticking together, my back ached, and my sensations were worse than nowhere. I began to forget some things; hallucinations began to appear in my eyes. My stomach could not digest the contents. Trying not to induce vomiting, I fought desperately with myself.
Day 3
My tenacity has come to an end. The additives listed above, I began to have headaches. And with each passing hour these pains became more and more painful. I wanted to leave the institute for today. But the last blow finished me off, and near the stairs I lost consciousness.
I woke up at the first-aid post. Near me sat a Nurse and Rona. Rona helped me get to the first-aid post. For which I am grateful to her. But I didn’t feel very well. They explained to me that the cause of my illness was overwork. As soon as I realized that I could not stand it anymore, I explained to the doctor all my problems. Then the nurse invited me to visit the therapist in the hospital where I was recorded. Since all the other doctors in our institute are on vacation. After that, I drank green tea, received a certificate from a doctor, and together with Rona went to the professor. He gave me the go-ahead to leave the institute for today.
After I explained the day to everyone else, I wanted to ask someone who could go to the hospital with me. Natasha, seeing the difficulty in my situation, decided to keep company with me. Arzeriz was busy with work, and Io was studying. Therefore, she was hope in my difficult moment. We decided to go tomorrow.
Day 4 (Fatal)
And now ... That same day. The day I found out my truth.
The hospital in which I recorded was known as "Hospital named Popov. We have normal medicine ... sort of.” Despite the squalor of its name, it was a huge building. She was famous for its variety of buildings. He included a morgue, an ordinary hospital, a madhouse, a maternity hospital, and more. Inside it was very spacious, which pleases.
Having passed through the administration and received a medical card, I went to the therapist’s office. I explained to him everything that happened to me. From gusts of vomiting to bloating. After listening to my complaints, he sent me to an ultrasound scan. Ultrasound scan itself was in the parental corps, I had to go with him to Natasha.
After we came to this corps, two personalities appeared in front of us. One was an elderly rhino in a jacket, if my memory serves, then it was the director of the hospital. And the second was a young snow-white cat, in a dressing gown and a beret? It seemed to me somehow strange.
-Konstantin Pavlovich, can you still any position you charge me? - said the cat.
-Eh ... Eo, I certainly appreciate it. But still, can you leave? You were both a surgeon and a registrar in my hospital. What more do you want?
- I just like to work at you.
- You’re a simple handyman. Even if you have a medical education, you do not have the right to occupy anyone else ...
Suddenly, the marten doctor of ultrasound diagnostics came out of the office. At first she looked at me with my sister. Seeing that we were to her, she expressed discontent. And after that, she looked at the director with Eo.
-Oh, Konstantin Pavlovich, you are just in time. - said the marten, looking at the rhino.
-Yes, Jeanne?
-You as you want, but my patience is gone. I'm going on vacation.
The director was indignant.
-A ... And what about the patients? They are waiting for you!
-Konstantin Pavlovich. - answered Jeanne. - You promised me a vacation two years ago. And all these two years, you put it off for later! And what about the position, take this guy next to you. Know how to use the device?
-Well, firstly, I'm not so young. And secondly, well, I somehow used it before. So basically I can.
- Have you been an obstetrician?
-Sure.
-Well, we’ve agreed. So Konstantin Pavlovich, blame yourself. I went.
Jeanne left, looking away from us.
-Well, what do you say? Eo said to his smirk.
-Oh ... Holy Mother of God ... Do what you want!
Well, what you want - so you want.
After that, the rhino withdrew, and Dr. Eo's eyes turned to us.
- Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you on an ultrasound?
-Yes. - I said awkwardly.
-Well, let's go.
We went to the office with the number 73. Nothing in particular, Table, a device for the analysis, the seats and the entrance, apparently it's pantry.
-So what are you complaining about?
-Oh yes. You know, doctor, I think I have bloating.
-Yes? Why did you come to me?
-We do not know the therapist said to come to you.
-Hmm ... Well, just in case, I can check. Settle yourself.
Turn on the machine, he went to the closet for the ointment. I lay down on the seat, lifting my shirt. And then I thought a little. What is tormenting me inside? If it is a tumor, then it is a disaster. But my assumptions were false.
When the doctor returned from the pantry, he sat down beside me and rubbed the ointment on the handle-sensor. With this sensor, he aimed at the up abdomen. The doctor checked my insides, they were all right. True, he was confused by some fact. Then, he rubbed down my belly and began to squint at the screen. When I looked at Dr. Eo's face, it expressed a misunderstanding. Looking at me and then at the monitor, he began to count objects on the monitor. Then I did not see anything, the doctor's head prevented me. After counting, he was surprised and turned to me.
-Um ... How would you say ... Do you know about your situation?
-What do you mean? - answered Natasha inquiringly.
-Um ... Well ... Then for your it will be a nuclear shock ...
-?
-You will have 9 children
-A?
-You are pregnant.
-A……………………………………………………?
-IT'S FUCK NOT A JOKE ...- the doctor answered nervously.
I could not imagine that. I could believe my ears and eyes. My relatively quiet life began to get entangled in the knots of problems. My face turned pale, and her heart quivered. It was worse than a tumor. Of course, I thought that maybe someday I'll give birth. But for now! My thoughts were appropriate.
Ah ... I'm pregnant? Stop-stop-stop. A-Are you serious? It's just a bad joke, isn't it? Ah ... ah ... No ... No ... No! Why?! Why right now?! Why today? I do not want! Stop the time! What's happening?! Nine?!! Why so much?! Save!!! BUT! NO, I DO NOT WANT TO BELIEVE THIS! I DID NOT WANT! Who made me like this to me?! Who did this?! And when did this happen? I'm single. I don’t meet anyone.
Discouraged by this news, I could only hear the comments of the doctor and Natasha.
-What this means ... - I murmured my sister.
- I swear I did not expect that there will be much. Of course, I could have suggested something similar, but not within such a framework!
-And what shall we do?! Amos, what are you hiding?!
-Honestly ... I haven’t contacted anyone ...
-So, you do not know who it could be? - asked my doctor.
-I don’t even know ... When and how it happened ...
-Hmm ... This seems to be rape ...- Dr. Eo deductively remarked. - In any case, the matter is serious. So, write down my instruction. Firstly, you should immediately go to a psychologist. Secondly, you should come to me again, I will analyze, and we will discuss everything together.
-Stop, and what to say to our parents?! They are as far from us!
-It all depends on you. After you call them as a warning, you call us. And we, together with the psychologist, will explain what the matter is. At the same time to calm down. This is necessary if you don’t go to be a victim of circumstances. But if something goes wrong, I will give out the address of the foundation where you can take refuge. Can you borrow a father's phone number?
- ... If ... it turns out ... Then I will dictate it to you.
- What about the institute? I'm a student ... - I answered scared.
-And where do you study?
-Moscow University № 602
-M ... Well, I’ll try to get through to the rector and your teacher, I’ll explain everything to them.
-This is how? - Natasha looked inquiringly at the doctor.
-Well, I'm not just a doctor and master of all trades. With the information I have a short conversation. So don’t worry. And behave as if nothing had happened. By the way, is there a passport?
-Yes.
-Wonderful. And now you need to go to the psychologist. Room 45, floor below. And also, forget about abortion. They will soon be canceled; the time is completely different. The war resumed the demographic crisis in the country. Remember. Oh yes, remind father number.
-Good...
And now, numb before the truth, I no longer knew what to do next. I was hoping this was just a bad nightmare. However, it was even worse. And I’m scared not from what I will give birth, but from what consequences will be ahead. It was not easy, and my sister. Agree, you did not expect to hear this in broad daylight? She herself had nothing to say.
In any case, we came to the psychiatrist. I told her everything that happened at the moment. Apparently understanding my problem, she supported me, gave me some advice and how to accept it. I cannot recall all theses, but I can retell the main ones as follows:
“Talking with others quickly creates a sense of reality and helps start thinking about the future with hope.”
And
“The first step in the path of love for a child is to stop perceiving it as an obstacle.”
Perhaps this is true. But I'm afraid to imagine how it would react Io.
While we were at the psychologist, the doctor gave us a snapshot of ultrasound of my children. Several bodies were displayed in my cavity. The more often I look at them, the more I get anxious. I took blood tests, urine tests, and much more. It took 4 hours. When viewing the content of hCG in the blood, it turned out that I was 10 weeks old. This is more than 2 months. On the yard is the beginning of October. Very strange autumn.
When we returned home after the doctor’s recommendations, our hands shook in front of the door. Taking a deep breath, we opened the door to our apartment. In the corridor, Io walked by, suspecting nothing, he greeted us. I just said nothing. My brother looked at me questioningly.
-M? What's the matter? And where have you been?
- Io ... I'm sorry. I myself did not know that. - Immediately I retired to the room.
-Ah? And what is it?
- Call Arzeriz, today will be a very serious conversation.
-What?
After these words, she showed him the picture.
-Uh ... where did you get that?
-Io not want to upset you, but it is in Amos.
-You are not going to ... say ... what ...
-Right. It seems that we will have a large replenishment. From unknown from whom, and unknown when.
Pale Io several times looked at the picture, then at the eyes of his sister. When he saw these honest eyes, he understood what was happening now. His hands were shaking from every view. Sweat streamed down his cheek. After viewing the ultrasound image, he smiled and answered.
- Feni ala comedy. Ha-ha-ha. Vot eto prikol. Urgently call an ambulance ... - after these words, Io fell on his back, losing consciousness.
-Io! - I screamed, trying to help him. This is exactly what I feared.
Day 5
Yesterday, after Io lost consciousness, the three of us discussed how this happened to me. I didn’t want to hear anything. To a general conclusion, we decided that it was rape. Arzeriz and Io were pure. But no matter how it was, I was scared. I looked at the bulge of my stomach, feeling some guilt for myself. Inside me were 10 hearts. I stroking my belly without losing reality. Apparently anxiety took possession of me, at the same time removing the desire to sleep. These thoughts, they bothered me. Suppose I will go through this pregnancy and childbirth, and then what? The baby is also a living creature. It is necessary to mess with him and properly educate, otherwise you can get irreversible consequences. And here I will have as many as 9! The whole burden of responsibility will rest with me. But not only on me, but on the one who did this mess. How I will live on, I do not know.
The morning came, I see that nothing has changed. Will have to accept it like reality. I began to wake Io. Waking up from the short-term coma, he looked at me anxiously. Apparently, he did not forget that I was pregnant.
-B-Brother. Honestly! It's not me!
-Yes, I already understood, don’t worry. This me give birth, and not you.
-How are you?
- ... I can’t throw these thoughts out ... Honestly, it’s hard for me. Can you help while I grow?
-... Well ... I'm not sure ... but, if anything, I will try.” And parents know?
-Not yet. Although they will arrive in two weeks, so this cannot be avoided.
-You're not afraid to tell them so?
- Not at all, very afraid. Okay, let's have breakfast, we gotta go. And yes, in the institute, pretend that nothing happened.
Gathered on the road Institute, I did not want to appear in front of everyone. But I sensed that I would get something like a vacation. And it was confirmed. My lecturer asked me to approach him after class.
As soon as the academic hours were over, I went to him for a personal conversation. Rona wanted to eavesdrop, but Io took her away, and thanks for that. The lecturer was convinced that they called him and told the general picture of what was happening. He gave me permission to go on maternity leave. However, until childbirth I will continue to study at home. Every week I have to come to a certain place to check the learned material. A completely different teacher will work with me. According to this plan, I should pass at least a winter session. I agreed to this offer. Having signed a home schooling agreement, I shook his hand and said goodbye to him.
Behind the corridor, I saw Io and Rona. My classmate out of curiosity asked me what we were talking about. In response to this, I said that it was personal. I am with my brother returned home.
-Well, it got better?
-Yes, a bit. - I replied.
Day 6
Sunday came. Lying on the bed, I looked at the phone and followed the news on Twitter. Despite the fact that I woke up early, absolutely nothing bothered me. My kids were still sleeping in my womb. Outside the window began to rain. From the noise of drops, Io also slowly woke up.
-Ah ... good morning.
-Good morning.
-And woke up long ago?
-At least 2 hours ago.
-I see. Listen, do you mind if I stroke your belly?
-Okay.
Io sleepily moved from his bed to mine, and began stroking my excreting body. I was a little embarrassed.
- I was thinking yesterday. If you become a dad, relatively a mom. So will I become an uncle?
-Maybe.
-...- With a slight melancholy, Io looked at the window curtains. And then one thought came to him. - Listen, being pregnant, how do you feel?
-Well ... How can I tell you? I feel a certain heaviness in the pelvic area and lower belly.
- Here's how. How interesting is the world around; Hmm ... what shall we look today?
-Don't know. After all, now I’m not allowed to watch any media content where there is violence, blood and guts. If I understand correctly, then this is to stabilize the psyche of the children.
-If think, they are part of you, which is logical.
-Maybe.
-Exit they see not her uterine wall, and all the space what do you see?
-Who knows…
The rest of the day passed without incident. I always wanted something edible. The melon, the pistachio, the sprats with milk. But I overpowered myself, or rather the whims of my kids. But sometimes I gave free rein, allowed them to eat some fish. Looking at myself, I became thoughtful. How big I'll be? Looking at the photographs of other pregnant bellies, I realized that I would be rather cumbersome. But I was haunted and another thought. How long will my pregnancy last? Unfortunately, I did not find specific data. Everyone had differently.
Day 7
This day for the first time I do not need to go anywhere. Although I stayed at home, somehow I need to learn. Therefore, I do not hastily sit for textbooks. As soon as I got tired of doing this, I immediately got bored. While I was looking for something to entertain myself, I came across an empty notebook. She was lying in a drawer. And since I had a lot of free time, I decided to write this diary. And what can I say? I got into a hopeless situation. And me to go from this nowhere. When told that it is necessary to give birth, you will have to give birth. So much water flowed while I remembered all this and wrote down for myself in the future. And maybe and for other descendants. Will anyone interested? I wrote this blog for a long time, somewhere the 2 weeks for sure. At the time of recording, I'm at week 12. During this time, my belly grew slightly. But, if it goes smoothly, then everything will be fine.
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Pregnancy Diary
Week 9
Day 1
Insomnia become my constant phenomenon. This heaviness in the belly will not let me rest. Want to sleep sweetly in unison. But I only get awkward discomfort in my bed. And by the way, the habit of going to the toilet more often did not disappear. At least 7 or 8 times I visited.
After drinking black and green tea, well, this is such a mixture of black and green teas, Io and I went to institute. As usual, during the week, to obtain specific skills. Many of my familiars did not come today. This is due to the emission of bacteria outbreak across the city. It is not surprising; microorganisms are increasingly increasing their resistance to drugs. This is not surprising, but making a better version of that drug is not so simple.
As soon as we returned home, I suddenly felt cold. I had to cover myself with a blanket. But unlike me, Io was chipper. Maybe I'm really weakened?
Day 2-5
Nothing to describe. Well how? I just wanted to feel as before, but it turned out as usual.
Day 6
The day passed so-so. The first thing I had to face, so it is with jeans. I wanted to go somewhere with Io, but they asked me a task. As soon as I put them on, the button could hardly be fastened. And at the same time, I felt unpleasantly tight.
- Damn ... Am I so fatter? Where were the scales?
By the way, my weight was about 67 kilograms. And now, when I sat down today, then added somewhere else 10. Eh? It's ... how it happened? I certainly expected weight gain. But so much ... Maybe it's time to lose weight? And that Io will constantly mock me about this. But where can I get a tracksuit? And where to run, autumn is in the yard. Can I do home physical education? Although ... Okay, me not up to it. It is necessary to solve at least the first problem. Since these jeans are tight for me, then I have to look for others, a little wider. Taking Arzeriz's pants is risky. Then, it is necessary to take from the pope. After scouring in the closet for several minutes, I stumbled upon old gray-blue pants. They are like 50 years old, well, to hell with them, the main thing is to be reliable. Putting them on, it became somehow a little more comfortable, but they turned out to be a little big for me. I asked Io if we have a belt? He said the belt was in one of the lockers on the nightstand.
When I began to lean toward the nightstand, I felt a sharp pain on the lower back and heaviness in the lower abdomen. I gritted his teeth, holding his hand over the sore spot. Belt was in the bottom drawer. Putting a belt on the found jeans around his waist, Io and I finally left the house. Io waited in frustration.
The purpose of our walk was simple - to walk us through unfamiliar streets and find out what's there. Although our city was not as big as the capital, our tongue doesn’t turn out to say it by the village. The town was filled with both shopping and “deserted” streets. The streets of Karl Liebknecht, Chicherin and Toscanelli attracted our attention. All these streets were far from central. Therefore, we expected their "deafness". Passers-by were either very few or not at all. In addition to the sounds of wind and nature, there was silence. In such places it was really interesting. But not in my current position. After Karl Liebknecht me this walk is beginning to bore. But my dear brother insisted on going there. Although I could not refuse him, but my perseverance decreased significantly. I wanted to sit down somewhere. And the eerie atmosphere of old houses and trees scared me to goosebumps. As soon as we passed Toscanelli street, I could no longer walk. Io was tired too, and we sat down on a bench near the square. After resting a little, my brother and I finally came home. I lay on the bed like a mummy, after such a walk, you can go crazy.
Day 7
After yesterday, my legs seemed swollen. Whine, even fall! The nausea inside me begins to manifest much more noticeably. Io is already beginning to bother, and a little later, Natasha.
Week 10
Day 1
My health moved closer and closer to a critical point. In addition to fatigue, drowsiness was added. My eyes did not want to see anything. I do not have time to finish writing in a notebook. The condition is just disgusting.
Day 2
I couldn’t sleep normally that night. My eyes were sticking together, my back ached, and my sensations were worse than nowhere. I began to forget some things; hallucinations began to appear in my eyes. My stomach could not digest the contents. Trying not to induce vomiting, I fought desperately with myself.
Day 3
My tenacity has come to an end. The additives listed above, I began to have headaches. And with each passing hour these pains became more and more painful. I wanted to leave the institute for today. But the last blow finished me off, and near the stairs I lost consciousness.
I woke up at the first-aid post. Near me sat a Nurse and Rona. Rona helped me get to the first-aid post. For which I am grateful to her. But I didn’t feel very well. They explained to me that the cause of my illness was overwork. As soon as I realized that I could not stand it anymore, I explained to the doctor all my problems. Then the nurse invited me to visit the therapist in the hospital where I was recorded. Since all the other doctors in our institute are on vacation. After that, I drank green tea, received a certificate from a doctor, and together with Rona went to the professor. He gave me the go-ahead to leave the institute for today.
After I explained the day to everyone else, I wanted to ask someone who could go to the hospital with me. Natasha, seeing the difficulty in my situation, decided to keep company with me. Arzeriz was busy with work, and Io was studying. Therefore, she was hope in my difficult moment. We decided to go tomorrow.
Day 4 (Fatal)
And now ... That same day. The day I found out my truth.
The hospital in which I recorded was known as "Hospital named Popov. We have normal medicine ... sort of.” Despite the squalor of its name, it was a huge building. She was famous for its variety of buildings. He included a morgue, an ordinary hospital, a madhouse, a maternity hospital, and more. Inside it was very spacious, which pleases.
Having passed through the administration and received a medical card, I went to the therapist’s office. I explained to him everything that happened to me. From gusts of vomiting to bloating. After listening to my complaints, he sent me to an ultrasound scan. Ultrasound scan itself was in the parental corps, I had to go with him to Natasha.
After we came to this corps, two personalities appeared in front of us. One was an elderly rhino in a jacket, if my memory serves, then it was the director of the hospital. And the second was a young snow-white cat, in a dressing gown and a beret? It seemed to me somehow strange.
-Konstantin Pavlovich, can you still any position you charge me? - said the cat.
-Eh ... Eo, I certainly appreciate it. But still, can you leave? You were both a surgeon and a registrar in my hospital. What more do you want?
- I just like to work at you.
- You’re a simple handyman. Even if you have a medical education, you do not have the right to occupy anyone else ...
Suddenly, the marten doctor of ultrasound diagnostics came out of the office. At first she looked at me with my sister. Seeing that we were to her, she expressed discontent. And after that, she looked at the director with Eo.
-Oh, Konstantin Pavlovich, you are just in time. - said the marten, looking at the rhino.
-Yes, Jeanne?
-You as you want, but my patience is gone. I'm going on vacation.
The director was indignant.
-A ... And what about the patients? They are waiting for you!
-Konstantin Pavlovich. - answered Jeanne. - You promised me a vacation two years ago. And all these two years, you put it off for later! And what about the position, take this guy next to you. Know how to use the device?
-Well, firstly, I'm not so young. And secondly, well, I somehow used it before. So basically I can.
- Have you been an obstetrician?
-Sure.
-Well, we’ve agreed. So Konstantin Pavlovich, blame yourself. I went.
Jeanne left, looking away from us.
-Well, what do you say? Eo said to his smirk.
-Oh ... Holy Mother of God ... Do what you want!
Well, what you want - so you want.
After that, the rhino withdrew, and Dr. Eo's eyes turned to us.
- Sorry to keep you waiting. Are you on an ultrasound?
-Yes. - I said awkwardly.
-Well, let's go.
We went to the office with the number 73. Nothing in particular, Table, a device for the analysis, the seats and the entrance, apparently it's pantry.
-So what are you complaining about?
-Oh yes. You know, doctor, I think I have bloating.
-Yes? Why did you come to me?
-We do not know the therapist said to come to you.
-Hmm ... Well, just in case, I can check. Settle yourself.
Turn on the machine, he went to the closet for the ointment. I lay down on the seat, lifting my shirt. And then I thought a little. What is tormenting me inside? If it is a tumor, then it is a disaster. But my assumptions were false.
When the doctor returned from the pantry, he sat down beside me and rubbed the ointment on the handle-sensor. With this sensor, he aimed at the up abdomen. The doctor checked my insides, they were all right. True, he was confused by some fact. Then, he rubbed down my belly and began to squint at the screen. When I looked at Dr. Eo's face, it expressed a misunderstanding. Looking at me and then at the monitor, he began to count objects on the monitor. Then I did not see anything, the doctor's head prevented me. After counting, he was surprised and turned to me.
-Um ... How would you say ... Do you know about your situation?
-What do you mean? - answered Natasha inquiringly.
-Um ... Well ... Then for your it will be a nuclear shock ...
-?
-You will have 9 children
-A?
-You are pregnant.
-A……………………………………………………?
-IT'S FUCK NOT A JOKE ...- the doctor answered nervously.
I could not imagine that. I could believe my ears and eyes. My relatively quiet life began to get entangled in the knots of problems. My face turned pale, and her heart quivered. It was worse than a tumor. Of course, I thought that maybe someday I'll give birth. But for now! My thoughts were appropriate.
Ah ... I'm pregnant? Stop-stop-stop. A-Are you serious? It's just a bad joke, isn't it? Ah ... ah ... No ... No ... No! Why?! Why right now?! Why today? I do not want! Stop the time! What's happening?! Nine?!! Why so much?! Save!!! BUT! NO, I DO NOT WANT TO BELIEVE THIS! I DID NOT WANT! Who made me like this to me?! Who did this?! And when did this happen? I'm single. I don’t meet anyone.
Discouraged by this news, I could only hear the comments of the doctor and Natasha.
-What this means ... - I murmured my sister.
- I swear I did not expect that there will be much. Of course, I could have suggested something similar, but not within such a framework!
-And what shall we do?! Amos, what are you hiding?!
-Honestly ... I haven’t contacted anyone ...
-So, you do not know who it could be? - asked my doctor.
-I don’t even know ... When and how it happened ...
-Hmm ... This seems to be rape ...- Dr. Eo deductively remarked. - In any case, the matter is serious. So, write down my instruction. Firstly, you should immediately go to a psychologist. Secondly, you should come to me again, I will analyze, and we will discuss everything together.
-Stop, and what to say to our parents?! They are as far from us!
-It all depends on you. After you call them as a warning, you call us. And we, together with the psychologist, will explain what the matter is. At the same time to calm down. This is necessary if you don’t go to be a victim of circumstances. But if something goes wrong, I will give out the address of the foundation where you can take refuge. Can you borrow a father's phone number?
- ... If ... it turns out ... Then I will dictate it to you.
- What about the institute? I'm a student ... - I answered scared.
-And where do you study?
-Moscow University № 602
-M ... Well, I’ll try to get through to the rector and your teacher, I’ll explain everything to them.
-This is how? - Natasha looked inquiringly at the doctor.
-Well, I'm not just a doctor and master of all trades. With the information I have a short conversation. So don’t worry. And behave as if nothing had happened. By the way, is there a passport?
-Yes.
-Wonderful. And now you need to go to the psychologist. Room 45, floor below. And also, forget about abortion. They will soon be canceled; the time is completely different. The war resumed the demographic crisis in the country. Remember. Oh yes, remind father number.
-Good...
And now, numb before the truth, I no longer knew what to do next. I was hoping this was just a bad nightmare. However, it was even worse. And I’m scared not from what I will give birth, but from what consequences will be ahead. It was not easy, and my sister. Agree, you did not expect to hear this in broad daylight? She herself had nothing to say.
In any case, we came to the psychiatrist. I told her everything that happened at the moment. Apparently understanding my problem, she supported me, gave me some advice and how to accept it. I cannot recall all theses, but I can retell the main ones as follows:
“Talking with others quickly creates a sense of reality and helps start thinking about the future with hope.”
And
“The first step in the path of love for a child is to stop perceiving it as an obstacle.”
Perhaps this is true. But I'm afraid to imagine how it would react Io.
While we were at the psychologist, the doctor gave us a snapshot of ultrasound of my children. Several bodies were displayed in my cavity. The more often I look at them, the more I get anxious. I took blood tests, urine tests, and much more. It took 4 hours. When viewing the content of hCG in the blood, it turned out that I was 10 weeks old. This is more than 2 months. On the yard is the beginning of October. Very strange autumn.
When we returned home after the doctor’s recommendations, our hands shook in front of the door. Taking a deep breath, we opened the door to our apartment. In the corridor, Io walked by, suspecting nothing, he greeted us. I just said nothing. My brother looked at me questioningly.
-M? What's the matter? And where have you been?
- Io ... I'm sorry. I myself did not know that. - Immediately I retired to the room.
-Ah? And what is it?
- Call Arzeriz, today will be a very serious conversation.
-What?
After these words, she showed him the picture.
-Uh ... where did you get that?
-Io not want to upset you, but it is in Amos.
-You are not going to ... say ... what ...
-Right. It seems that we will have a large replenishment. From unknown from whom, and unknown when.
Pale Io several times looked at the picture, then at the eyes of his sister. When he saw these honest eyes, he understood what was happening now. His hands were shaking from every view. Sweat streamed down his cheek. After viewing the ultrasound image, he smiled and answered.
- Feni ala comedy. Ha-ha-ha. Vot eto prikol. Urgently call an ambulance ... - after these words, Io fell on his back, losing consciousness.
-Io! - I screamed, trying to help him. This is exactly what I feared.
Day 5
Yesterday, after Io lost consciousness, the three of us discussed how this happened to me. I didn’t want to hear anything. To a general conclusion, we decided that it was rape. Arzeriz and Io were pure. But no matter how it was, I was scared. I looked at the bulge of my stomach, feeling some guilt for myself. Inside me were 10 hearts. I stroking my belly without losing reality. Apparently anxiety took possession of me, at the same time removing the desire to sleep. These thoughts, they bothered me. Suppose I will go through this pregnancy and childbirth, and then what? The baby is also a living creature. It is necessary to mess with him and properly educate, otherwise you can get irreversible consequences. And here I will have as many as 9! The whole burden of responsibility will rest with me. But not only on me, but on the one who did this mess. How I will live on, I do not know.
The morning came, I see that nothing has changed. Will have to accept it like reality. I began to wake Io. Waking up from the short-term coma, he looked at me anxiously. Apparently, he did not forget that I was pregnant.
-B-Brother. Honestly! It's not me!
-Yes, I already understood, don’t worry. This me give birth, and not you.
-How are you?
- ... I can’t throw these thoughts out ... Honestly, it’s hard for me. Can you help while I grow?
-... Well ... I'm not sure ... but, if anything, I will try.” And parents know?
-Not yet. Although they will arrive in two weeks, so this cannot be avoided.
-You're not afraid to tell them so?
- Not at all, very afraid. Okay, let's have breakfast, we gotta go. And yes, in the institute, pretend that nothing happened.
Gathered on the road Institute, I did not want to appear in front of everyone. But I sensed that I would get something like a vacation. And it was confirmed. My lecturer asked me to approach him after class.
As soon as the academic hours were over, I went to him for a personal conversation. Rona wanted to eavesdrop, but Io took her away, and thanks for that. The lecturer was convinced that they called him and told the general picture of what was happening. He gave me permission to go on maternity leave. However, until childbirth I will continue to study at home. Every week I have to come to a certain place to check the learned material. A completely different teacher will work with me. According to this plan, I should pass at least a winter session. I agreed to this offer. Having signed a home schooling agreement, I shook his hand and said goodbye to him.
Behind the corridor, I saw Io and Rona. My classmate out of curiosity asked me what we were talking about. In response to this, I said that it was personal. I am with my brother returned home.
-Well, it got better?
-Yes, a bit. - I replied.
Day 6
Sunday came. Lying on the bed, I looked at the phone and followed the news on Twitter. Despite the fact that I woke up early, absolutely nothing bothered me. My kids were still sleeping in my womb. Outside the window began to rain. From the noise of drops, Io also slowly woke up.
-Ah ... good morning.
-Good morning.
-And woke up long ago?
-At least 2 hours ago.
-I see. Listen, do you mind if I stroke your belly?
-Okay.
Io sleepily moved from his bed to mine, and began stroking my excreting body. I was a little embarrassed.
- I was thinking yesterday. If you become a dad, relatively a mom. So will I become an uncle?
-Maybe.
-...- With a slight melancholy, Io looked at the window curtains. And then one thought came to him. - Listen, being pregnant, how do you feel?
-Well ... How can I tell you? I feel a certain heaviness in the pelvic area and lower belly.
- Here's how. How interesting is the world around; Hmm ... what shall we look today?
-Don't know. After all, now I’m not allowed to watch any media content where there is violence, blood and guts. If I understand correctly, then this is to stabilize the psyche of the children.
-If think, they are part of you, which is logical.
-Maybe.
-Exit they see not her uterine wall, and all the space what do you see?
-Who knows…
The rest of the day passed without incident. I always wanted something edible. The melon, the pistachio, the sprats with milk. But I overpowered myself, or rather the whims of my kids. But sometimes I gave free rein, allowed them to eat some fish. Looking at myself, I became thoughtful. How big I'll be? Looking at the photographs of other pregnant bellies, I realized that I would be rather cumbersome. But I was haunted and another thought. How long will my pregnancy last? Unfortunately, I did not find specific data. Everyone had differently.
Day 7
This day for the first time I do not need to go anywhere. Although I stayed at home, somehow I need to learn. Therefore, I do not hastily sit for textbooks. As soon as I got tired of doing this, I immediately got bored. While I was looking for something to entertain myself, I came across an empty notebook. She was lying in a drawer. And since I had a lot of free time, I decided to write this diary. And what can I say? I got into a hopeless situation. And me to go from this nowhere. When told that it is necessary to give birth, you will have to give birth. So much water flowed while I remembered all this and wrote down for myself in the future. And maybe and for other descendants. Will anyone interested? I wrote this blog for a long time, somewhere the 2 weeks for sure. At the time of recording, I'm at week 12. During this time, my belly grew slightly. But, if it goes smoothly, then everything will be fine.
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Category Story / Pregnancy
Species Canine (Other)
Size 111 x 111px
File Size 27.2 kB
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