How would you like us to help?

i cant be left alone in person or ill start drinking or harm myself (well both is..)

im okay with having a drink once in a while but i just.. take every chance i get.

i hope i get on antidepressants soon.. or anything that would help me stop hurting myself

I can keep an eye on you, but our time zones are so different (and I don't have Twitter) that you do need to rely on people closer around you or yourself.

You know you have an drinking condition. You know you have a self-harm condition. It is good that you recognize the issues. Try to oppose them mentally. See if you can scale back some-maybe a bottle/day or less. Do other things that make you happy-drawing, gaming, maybe chocolates? Focus on the date in which you get anti-depressants: you wouldn't want to falter before you get them.

You've fought long and hard to get out of the darkness, and I'm proud that you've gotten this far. It's like you're laboring near the top of a hill-keep focusing on reaching that top, and maybe you'll find a good bench to rest on and see how far you've climbed. I'll try to help however I can.