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https://www.patreon.com/Anymouse
A note about the story: The multiple exclamation marks are intentional. As a natural pedant, I had to tell you that
“Becoming an Item”
Home at last, Greg thought as he struggled through the door to his apartment. His rolling suitcase, so maneuverable in the airport was a pain to get into his hallway. Such an annoying trip. Ugly town, bad hotel and clueless clients.
Bah.
He abandoned his coat on his suitcase in the hallway and made his way to the living room. All he wanted was a scotch and-
“Hey, Greggie!!!” A bubbly, sing-song female voice greeted him from his sofa.
It took a moment for his tired mind to recognize the be-spectacled face grinning at him over the back of the sofa.
“M-Mirabelle?” He stammered, trying to make sense of why SHE was here in HIS apartment, “W-what are you doing here?”
“Well, Greggie!” the petite black girl squeaked as she stood up on the sofa, jumping off in what she obviously thought was a balletic movement but, wasn’t nearly so coordinated, “I wanted to see you when you got back so we could talk about us!!”
Again Greg was frozen with confusion as Mirabelle practically skipped over to him. She stopped just before him, rocking on her heels, hands behind her back.
“Us…” he managed, “What do you mean ‘us’?”
“Guh-reggie!!” Mirabelle rolled her eyes and sighed theatrically, “You’re so silly! I mean ‘us’ as in you moving in now that we’re a… you know…” She looked away with a comically coquettish expression,”an… item”
“A WHAT?” Gregg waved his arms as though trying to gather some sense from the air, “Mirabelle, I-“
Gregg stopped. He wasn’t going to start shouting. That’s how you lose negotiations. He closed his eyes and pinched the brim of his nose. Taking a deep breath he looked down at Mirabelle, taking her in.
She was good-looking in a nerdy way. Decent body, nice lips but, everything else? That was the thing. She was dressed, as usual, in a strange caricature of tween fashion. A mishmash of styles and colors that was embarrassing just to look at. But, what really irked Gregg, to his core, was her immaturity. Here cube was all full of stuffed animals, and unicorns and who cared what else. And she was so bubbly all the time! Giving everyone nicknames that invariably ended with ‘ie’. If she wasn’t such a talented developer, he’d try to get her fired.
“Look, Mirabelle.” He said calmly, hands on his hips, “We’re not an item. We’ve never been an item and we’ll never be an item. Okay?”
She turned her head on its side like a confused puppy. Then she shook her head as though what she heard was the silliest thing ever.
“Of course we are, Greggie!” She bubbled and began counting on her fingers. “We talk every day. I bring you snacks. I make sure your office is properly decorated. We’re an item!”
“Mirabelle!” Gregg responded, losing his cool a bit, “We talk every day because we work together and all you bring me are cupcakes and sparkly cookies! That doesn’t make us an item! We haven’t even gone on a date! And we won’t,” He looked her in the eye, “Ever. Okay? Never, ever, ever! Will you get that through your head?”
“G-Greggie?” She looked as though she would burst into tears but, Gregg knew he had to be firm.
“Mirabelle,” he said, pointing to the door, “Get out of my apartment and go home. We’ll just pretend this never happened. I won’t even tell Mr. Franklin that you broke into my place while I was gone, okay?”
“But, why, Greggie?” She looked oddly serious now,”Why won’t you go out with me? Aren’t I pretty enough?”
“Look,” he said trying to think of a good way to say this” You’re really cute and… uh… sweet but, the thing is…”
Her expression got a bit colder and he began to wonder if she was holding something dangerous behind her back.
“The thing is you’re a bit…” he couldn’t help himself, “… well, childish for me. Immature. I mean, you’re great and all just…”
He faded as her expression dropped a few more degrees and her eyes narrowed behind her glasses.
“Childish?” She said sticking her chin out, “Well, I’ll show you childish!”
She stepped back and with a flourish, whipped the object she’d been holding behind her back. Gregg flinched and raised his hands, expecting a knife. But, it was nothing as dangerous. It looked like
“A magic wand” he said incredulously.
“Yes!!” Mirabelle said with a mock-seriousness that made her look twelve instead of twenty-six. She pointed the wand at him with a steady hand, “And this wand means you’re coming to live with me no matter what!!”
“Christ, Mirabelle!” Gregg said, rolling his eyes, “You really are something!
She looked smugly at him as the tip of the wand began to glow green.
“A light-up wand from the Harry Potter store isn’t going to make us an item. So, why do’t you just…”
He stopped. She was grinning now. A creepy wide-eyed grin. She poked the wand at him and suddenly he was engulfed in a green glow.
Then, he felt his clothes shifting as though they were alive…
https://www.patreon.com/Anymouse
A note about the story: The multiple exclamation marks are intentional. As a natural pedant, I had to tell you that
“Becoming an Item”
Home at last, Greg thought as he struggled through the door to his apartment. His rolling suitcase, so maneuverable in the airport was a pain to get into his hallway. Such an annoying trip. Ugly town, bad hotel and clueless clients.
Bah.
He abandoned his coat on his suitcase in the hallway and made his way to the living room. All he wanted was a scotch and-
“Hey, Greggie!!!” A bubbly, sing-song female voice greeted him from his sofa.
It took a moment for his tired mind to recognize the be-spectacled face grinning at him over the back of the sofa.
“M-Mirabelle?” He stammered, trying to make sense of why SHE was here in HIS apartment, “W-what are you doing here?”
“Well, Greggie!” the petite black girl squeaked as she stood up on the sofa, jumping off in what she obviously thought was a balletic movement but, wasn’t nearly so coordinated, “I wanted to see you when you got back so we could talk about us!!”
Again Greg was frozen with confusion as Mirabelle practically skipped over to him. She stopped just before him, rocking on her heels, hands behind her back.
“Us…” he managed, “What do you mean ‘us’?”
“Guh-reggie!!” Mirabelle rolled her eyes and sighed theatrically, “You’re so silly! I mean ‘us’ as in you moving in now that we’re a… you know…” She looked away with a comically coquettish expression,”an… item”
“A WHAT?” Gregg waved his arms as though trying to gather some sense from the air, “Mirabelle, I-“
Gregg stopped. He wasn’t going to start shouting. That’s how you lose negotiations. He closed his eyes and pinched the brim of his nose. Taking a deep breath he looked down at Mirabelle, taking her in.
She was good-looking in a nerdy way. Decent body, nice lips but, everything else? That was the thing. She was dressed, as usual, in a strange caricature of tween fashion. A mishmash of styles and colors that was embarrassing just to look at. But, what really irked Gregg, to his core, was her immaturity. Here cube was all full of stuffed animals, and unicorns and who cared what else. And she was so bubbly all the time! Giving everyone nicknames that invariably ended with ‘ie’. If she wasn’t such a talented developer, he’d try to get her fired.
“Look, Mirabelle.” He said calmly, hands on his hips, “We’re not an item. We’ve never been an item and we’ll never be an item. Okay?”
She turned her head on its side like a confused puppy. Then she shook her head as though what she heard was the silliest thing ever.
“Of course we are, Greggie!” She bubbled and began counting on her fingers. “We talk every day. I bring you snacks. I make sure your office is properly decorated. We’re an item!”
“Mirabelle!” Gregg responded, losing his cool a bit, “We talk every day because we work together and all you bring me are cupcakes and sparkly cookies! That doesn’t make us an item! We haven’t even gone on a date! And we won’t,” He looked her in the eye, “Ever. Okay? Never, ever, ever! Will you get that through your head?”
“G-Greggie?” She looked as though she would burst into tears but, Gregg knew he had to be firm.
“Mirabelle,” he said, pointing to the door, “Get out of my apartment and go home. We’ll just pretend this never happened. I won’t even tell Mr. Franklin that you broke into my place while I was gone, okay?”
“But, why, Greggie?” She looked oddly serious now,”Why won’t you go out with me? Aren’t I pretty enough?”
“Look,” he said trying to think of a good way to say this” You’re really cute and… uh… sweet but, the thing is…”
Her expression got a bit colder and he began to wonder if she was holding something dangerous behind her back.
“The thing is you’re a bit…” he couldn’t help himself, “… well, childish for me. Immature. I mean, you’re great and all just…”
He faded as her expression dropped a few more degrees and her eyes narrowed behind her glasses.
“Childish?” She said sticking her chin out, “Well, I’ll show you childish!”
She stepped back and with a flourish, whipped the object she’d been holding behind her back. Gregg flinched and raised his hands, expecting a knife. But, it was nothing as dangerous. It looked like
“A magic wand” he said incredulously.
“Yes!!” Mirabelle said with a mock-seriousness that made her look twelve instead of twenty-six. She pointed the wand at him with a steady hand, “And this wand means you’re coming to live with me no matter what!!”
“Christ, Mirabelle!” Gregg said, rolling his eyes, “You really are something!
She looked smugly at him as the tip of the wand began to glow green.
“A light-up wand from the Harry Potter store isn’t going to make us an item. So, why do’t you just…”
He stopped. She was grinning now. A creepy wide-eyed grin. She poked the wand at him and suddenly he was engulfed in a green glow.
Then, he felt his clothes shifting as though they were alive…
Category All / TF / TG
Species Cow
Size 791 x 1024px
File Size 291.5 kB
Listed in Folders
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