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Story / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Wolf
Size 120 x 120
File Size 9.5 kB
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SPIRIT WAKER'S DEBUT ON FA! WOOOO!
ok.
a lot of people are doing this.
Spirit Waker is now a written story.
I dont have the time/patience to make YET ANOTHER comic, and I only got four pages done in what, six months?
It needed to stop. Seriously.
This new addition and my first REAL story will be uploaded to DA as my 400th deviation and to FA as my 100th submission. :3 best o both worlds, eh?
Anyway, I would REALLY appreciate comments and critique.
If you comment with one liners, you WILL BE IGNORED.
And there be a lot of deaths.
Tell me if you need to have it matured on DA. (on FA, it wont matter. lol)
And try to imagine their voices and appearences. >.>
But Snake would be best imagined sounding liek Sora from the first KH game.
why?
JUST TO IT TO FIND OUT.
IT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD.
anyway, at the moment, all the characters are by me except for Cervayin, who is owned by dragonblueflame of DA :3
ok.
a lot of people are doing this.
Spirit Waker is now a written story.
I dont have the time/patience to make YET ANOTHER comic, and I only got four pages done in what, six months?
It needed to stop. Seriously.
This new addition and my first REAL story will be uploaded to DA as my 400th deviation and to FA as my 100th submission. :3 best o both worlds, eh?
Anyway, I would REALLY appreciate comments and critique.
If you comment with one liners, you WILL BE IGNORED.
And there be a lot of deaths.
Tell me if you need to have it matured on DA. (on FA, it wont matter. lol)
And try to imagine their voices and appearences. >.>
But Snake would be best imagined sounding liek Sora from the first KH game.
why?
JUST TO IT TO FIND OUT.
IT SOUNDS REALLY GOOD.
anyway, at the moment, all the characters are by me except for Cervayin, who is owned by dragonblueflame of DA :3
Category Story / Animal related (non-anthro)
Species Wolf
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 9.5 kB
No offence is made for everything is of my opinion and observation alone. Your plot is quite interesting and original. Your description was also good. However, your characters need more development. Still that is common of prologues and first chapters. So make sure to flesh that out over the next couple of chapters. An opening is an very important part to any work it needs to captivate your audience and launch everything in grand precedent. Your transitional shifts in narration from the very opening to the main text needs to flow more smoothly. To the plot one thing to consider is if any culture is to face catastrophic events its people will shift and adapt to such events over time. However you got a good wrench with the mass deaths at the moment in that direction. The end of the prologue though was good and strong in continuing the plot forward. Your dialogue also needs to support your characters roles and world or else it will disrupt the rhetorical presentation. For the dialogue is of lesser context and could be build farther to bring your world to life more. Best of luck with the rest and the conversion from a original comic idea into a story.
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