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This is a vent.
I am nonbinary and go by they/them.
It usually doesn't bother me too much when random people do it but when someone who I consider a friend or someone who wants to be my friend, doesnt even try to put in the effort.... it hurts.
I mean, it's honestly annoying. If someone is unsure, how hard is it to do a little research and find pronouns?
All I ask is for people to try! And when corrected, do not take offense like you're the victim. Just apologize and do better.
I am nonbinary and go by they/them.
It usually doesn't bother me too much when random people do it but when someone who I consider a friend or someone who wants to be my friend, doesnt even try to put in the effort.... it hurts.
I mean, it's honestly annoying. If someone is unsure, how hard is it to do a little research and find pronouns?
All I ask is for people to try! And when corrected, do not take offense like you're the victim. Just apologize and do better.
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I'm nonbinary, but I honestly do not relate to this, gender is such a...a weird and misinformed thing now a days, its just sometimes hard especially if the topic is never brought up how are hey supposed to know?
some people are okay with you asking and some people have complete freak outs over you even asking. I've seen it and it's quite a thing to see.
if they do it on purpose ya for sure but for me personal its hard to get angry when someone does it because a lot of our assumptions are through sight, even with food if you cover your eyes, most the time you will have a hard time telling what your tasting or feeling.
you can be SO SURE you have it right but you don't. It can be annoying for some people, I guess, but I feel like theres worse issues at hand than taking a few seconds to go "oh, hey man I actually go by this, just for future reference."
thats just me though, I've never struggled with gender identity I've just kind of existed
some people are okay with you asking and some people have complete freak outs over you even asking. I've seen it and it's quite a thing to see.
if they do it on purpose ya for sure but for me personal its hard to get angry when someone does it because a lot of our assumptions are through sight, even with food if you cover your eyes, most the time you will have a hard time telling what your tasting or feeling.
you can be SO SURE you have it right but you don't. It can be annoying for some people, I guess, but I feel like theres worse issues at hand than taking a few seconds to go "oh, hey man I actually go by this, just for future reference."
thats just me though, I've never struggled with gender identity I've just kind of existed
Again, as it is mentioned "And when corrected, do not take offense like you're the victim. Just apologize and do better. "
Not everyone will know, as I said, it doesn't bother me when random folks do it. Doesn't mean a person shouldn't try to find pronouns listed somewhere(as a lot of people will put their pronouns on their pages/profiles). And if a person still cannot find it? Go with the safe route and use they/them or a person can ask. I have yet to see a person freak out about being asked what their pronouns are(though that doesn't mean it doesn't happen).
And that's all fine and dandy that you do not personally take offense from being called the wrong pronouns, doesn't mean others will feel the same.
Plus to say there are worse issues at hand? So we can't worry about multiple issues now?
It's not hard to try and be respectful to others.
Not everyone will know, as I said, it doesn't bother me when random folks do it. Doesn't mean a person shouldn't try to find pronouns listed somewhere(as a lot of people will put their pronouns on their pages/profiles). And if a person still cannot find it? Go with the safe route and use they/them or a person can ask. I have yet to see a person freak out about being asked what their pronouns are(though that doesn't mean it doesn't happen).
And that's all fine and dandy that you do not personally take offense from being called the wrong pronouns, doesn't mean others will feel the same.
Plus to say there are worse issues at hand? So we can't worry about multiple issues now?
It's not hard to try and be respectful to others.
"So we can't worry about multiple issues now?"
to me this falls under the lines of , "choose your battles wisely, as to not waste your spirit". People can worry about tens of things, what I meant was there could be more important things than mistaking someones proper pronouns, unless someone does it with intent to offend. It's not really fair for you to expect things of others in my opinion. The only person you should be allowed to expect things of is yourself, so to expect people to find out how you want to be spoken to before even speaking to you seems a little demanding? Then no conversation would be natural, it'd scripted and researched with intent
I feel more awkward going into a conversation knowing something already as appose to maybe hearing it from them, like "I know where you went on vacation last summer". thats REALLY exaggerated but I hope you atleast see what I mean XD it also gives way for a lot of conversation if people are willing.
also before it gets left out! yes either way you should apologize if you misgender someone and make a true effort to be excepting and informed
to me this falls under the lines of , "choose your battles wisely, as to not waste your spirit". People can worry about tens of things, what I meant was there could be more important things than mistaking someones proper pronouns, unless someone does it with intent to offend. It's not really fair for you to expect things of others in my opinion. The only person you should be allowed to expect things of is yourself, so to expect people to find out how you want to be spoken to before even speaking to you seems a little demanding? Then no conversation would be natural, it'd scripted and researched with intent
I feel more awkward going into a conversation knowing something already as appose to maybe hearing it from them, like "I know where you went on vacation last summer". thats REALLY exaggerated but I hope you atleast see what I mean XD it also gives way for a lot of conversation if people are willing.
also before it gets left out! yes either way you should apologize if you misgender someone and make a true effort to be excepting and informed
See, this is where we'll have to agree to disagree.
A lot of people already have gender/ body dysphoria, you cannot sit there and say what's more important to people.
Again, you can worry about multiple issues. It's okay.
I am allowed to expect my friends and significant other(s) to respect my pronouns. And no it's not demanding at all to want people to do a little research. No different from finding the answers to a test without a person just giving you the answers. I am not sure how the conversation would be scripted? If anything, a person will be more pleased that someone had enough common sense and respect to call them by the pronouns they want to be called. And I guarantee the conversation will go on smoothly. Shoot, just using a the person's name until your sure is even an option!
Can a person ask "What's your pronouns?" of course! Like I said, not everyone will know and definitely not everyone will at least attempt to find pronouns. But to sit there, be corrected and then continue to misgender a person, is down right cruel.
I honestly cannot understand what you mean or your logic. Being on social media, people will share events in their lives. So it wouldn't be strange to possibly know what someone did last Summer. But I digress...
Again, this was more so towards friends/people who want to be friends with someone. People need to make the effort, just that simple.
Of course there will always be random folk who do not know you from a can of paint, that will sit there and misgender a person. And all you can do is correct them, if they continue, then I believe it is in a person's right to block that negativity out of their lives and move on.
A lot of people already have gender/ body dysphoria, you cannot sit there and say what's more important to people.
Again, you can worry about multiple issues. It's okay.
I am allowed to expect my friends and significant other(s) to respect my pronouns. And no it's not demanding at all to want people to do a little research. No different from finding the answers to a test without a person just giving you the answers. I am not sure how the conversation would be scripted? If anything, a person will be more pleased that someone had enough common sense and respect to call them by the pronouns they want to be called. And I guarantee the conversation will go on smoothly. Shoot, just using a the person's name until your sure is even an option!
Can a person ask "What's your pronouns?" of course! Like I said, not everyone will know and definitely not everyone will at least attempt to find pronouns. But to sit there, be corrected and then continue to misgender a person, is down right cruel.
I honestly cannot understand what you mean or your logic. Being on social media, people will share events in their lives. So it wouldn't be strange to possibly know what someone did last Summer. But I digress...
Again, this was more so towards friends/people who want to be friends with someone. People need to make the effort, just that simple.
Of course there will always be random folk who do not know you from a can of paint, that will sit there and misgender a person. And all you can do is correct them, if they continue, then I believe it is in a person's right to block that negativity out of their lives and move on.
I dont think talking to someone should be the same experience as studying for a test..thats why most people disliked school. Making yourself seem so important enough for people to have to do research on you is a little entitled, I also wasn't referring to people you actually know, like I said if its done with intent to offend then yes by all means thats just rude.
for instance, I had NO idea what your pronouns were before this, I don't look at journals or peep at peoples personal life unless I have a person interest in them so I wouldn't know any of this. I also wouldnt want to interact with someone who thought it my job to do research on them before sparking a conversation. It make makes me think of someone who would look at me and go "wait..you dont know who I am?? and be all offended that I wasnt aware of A and B. I have better things on my plate other than spending a few hours looking up someone I havent spoken to yet. Thats not getting to know someone naturally which is something I prefer
you are right though, I can't say what should be more important to other people. Obviously my priorities are differ from yours. You have a lot of decent points. My only point is it shouldnt be the strangers fault, they ARE a stranger to you and you to them, unless further conversation is had I don't think ANYONE should be offended especially if not done on purpose. IF DONE ON PURPOSE then ya, they dont deserve the time
for instance, I had NO idea what your pronouns were before this, I don't look at journals or peep at peoples personal life unless I have a person interest in them so I wouldn't know any of this. I also wouldnt want to interact with someone who thought it my job to do research on them before sparking a conversation. It make makes me think of someone who would look at me and go "wait..you dont know who I am?? and be all offended that I wasnt aware of A and B. I have better things on my plate other than spending a few hours looking up someone I havent spoken to yet. Thats not getting to know someone naturally which is something I prefer
you are right though, I can't say what should be more important to other people. Obviously my priorities are differ from yours. You have a lot of decent points. My only point is it shouldnt be the strangers fault, they ARE a stranger to you and you to them, unless further conversation is had I don't think ANYONE should be offended especially if not done on purpose. IF DONE ON PURPOSE then ya, they dont deserve the time
But my vent referred to those I know, people who are my friends or want to be my friends.
Again, most people put their pronouns on their profile pages, just for future reference. You brought up journals but most people will use profiles, because that is what majority people will view.
And once again, I do not care if a random person(stranger) misgender me, it happens and it will keep happening, as people will have the same mindset you have and dismiss the thought of actually doing a little research before starting a conversation and find it silly or entitled.
But as I said, all I can do is correct the person and hope they will start using the proper pronouns.
If after, they continue to misgender a person, then they ARE at fault.
Again, most people put their pronouns on their profile pages, just for future reference. You brought up journals but most people will use profiles, because that is what majority people will view.
And once again, I do not care if a random person(stranger) misgender me, it happens and it will keep happening, as people will have the same mindset you have and dismiss the thought of actually doing a little research before starting a conversation and find it silly or entitled.
But as I said, all I can do is correct the person and hope they will start using the proper pronouns.
If after, they continue to misgender a person, then they ARE at fault.
You see, they explained why this bothered them. They said, it doesn't really bug them when they are called it by strangers, as long as the strangers realize they have specific pronouns, and are apologetic and do what they can not to mis-gender them. It's close friends or those trying to be their friend that bothers them the most.
Everything you just brought into this convo, was more so you saying, 'Well in my experience' which, kindly, is your experience. This is them saying, 'I don't like it, it bothers me. I'm venting.' You came here stating 'Well pick your battles.' it's rude and dismissive of them and comes off as trying to change their own feelings about it all.
Everything you just brought into this convo, was more so you saying, 'Well in my experience' which, kindly, is your experience. This is them saying, 'I don't like it, it bothers me. I'm venting.' You came here stating 'Well pick your battles.' it's rude and dismissive of them and comes off as trying to change their own feelings about it all.
I wasnt dismissing anything. It's important to respect your peers and correct your mistakes, I have a hobbit of making my own sense which I guess I shouldnt in these cases. I think I was just curious as to why or if thats what it was? Its been a thing where if you transgender someone they could get really offended. its happened to me, ive seen it happen to other people and honestly its embarrassing. To be call a sexist or a transphobe for not knowing something prior
Once again, you personal experience and not theirs. I didn't ask for your personal experience either. One of those, opinions are like assholes, not everyone wants to see or ponder yours. You came here and said, look at the other side. While not your definition of dismissed, you tried to negate it with your own experience.
They are non-binary. They explained how they are mixing your personal stuff in here. Which, you just stated because you were called sexists or transphobic by someone else... They aren't the people who called you that, so you are asking why in the wrong forum, because they already explained why. Agree to disagree and move on.
They are non-binary. They explained how they are mixing your personal stuff in here. Which, you just stated because you were called sexists or transphobic by someone else... They aren't the people who called you that, so you are asking why in the wrong forum, because they already explained why. Agree to disagree and move on.
Something I don't get here is like... what's an "important" or "non important" issue?? Depends of each actually? Worse or less, honestly, it can be a VERY important thing for someone and it's important to try to respect that! Again, mostly if the mistake is made by a friend, I can understand the feeling.
Your comment is pointless.
All they said was that they want their friends to refer to them by they/them. Their friends will know their pronouns because they told them. No one said anything about random people assuming their gender. NB people don't expect random people to call them they/them, obviously. But if you're a friend to Geeki and you know they go by they/them then you'll use those pronouns. If they feel comfortable correcting a random person, that's fine too. They never said they were going to freak out or get angry. Anyone who doesn't live under a box is aware of pronouns. You're making it sound like when they said "research" they're asking people to go write a 7 page essay. It's as simple as just even asking "why do you want to be called they/them?" most people are happy to explain as long as the other party is open and willing to understand.
You're just venting your opinion for no reason. All they said was they wanted their friends and people who care about them to respect to use they/them. What is the point of your comment on this post? To do what? To make them feel bad for asking people they consider friends to use their pronouns?
Your opinion is irrelevant. The post isn't about you and how you feel about things, it's about Geeki and how they feel. Why would you come onto someone else's vent post and tell them that you "don't relate" with how they feel? It's not about how you feel. Come off it.
All they said was that they want their friends to refer to them by they/them. Their friends will know their pronouns because they told them. No one said anything about random people assuming their gender. NB people don't expect random people to call them they/them, obviously. But if you're a friend to Geeki and you know they go by they/them then you'll use those pronouns. If they feel comfortable correcting a random person, that's fine too. They never said they were going to freak out or get angry. Anyone who doesn't live under a box is aware of pronouns. You're making it sound like when they said "research" they're asking people to go write a 7 page essay. It's as simple as just even asking "why do you want to be called they/them?" most people are happy to explain as long as the other party is open and willing to understand.
You're just venting your opinion for no reason. All they said was they wanted their friends and people who care about them to respect to use they/them. What is the point of your comment on this post? To do what? To make them feel bad for asking people they consider friends to use their pronouns?
Your opinion is irrelevant. The post isn't about you and how you feel about things, it's about Geeki and how they feel. Why would you come onto someone else's vent post and tell them that you "don't relate" with how they feel? It's not about how you feel. Come off it.
Really a good thing I was informed about how to properly use they/them or the other pronunciations depending what gender people are comfortable with. I sometimes mistake the pronounce rarely, but then I quickly catch on to my mishap and correct myself. Always gotta be respectful of people’s wishes and spread this subject around so people can be respectful as well.
If I am unsure of pronouns I generally go for the safe option of They/them. I have a few people that have ask that I refer to them as [pronoun here] after I have (innocently) misgendered them. That's the thing though. They ask and never demand, or get overly upset if I slip up. They understand that I made a mistake without intentions of hurting them and respect that I am willing to try and correct myself. If I see that someone has a preference though I'll do my best to follow that. C:
However, I think a mutual respect is always healthy (in this case I'd say it falls under this), but on a slight tangent; I don't respond to those who demand respect. There is a very fine line I suppose.
However, I think a mutual respect is always healthy (in this case I'd say it falls under this), but on a slight tangent; I don't respond to those who demand respect. There is a very fine line I suppose.
I do this too. If I cannot find pronouns or am in a conversation talking about another person(and do not know the pronouns), I use they/them.
This is definitely okay, I'd rather be safe then sorry. Right, we can clearly see when someone didn't mean to misgender us, it happens. We just give reminders of our pronouns. Most people just want others to be respectful and try.
This is definitely okay, I'd rather be safe then sorry. Right, we can clearly see when someone didn't mean to misgender us, it happens. We just give reminders of our pronouns. Most people just want others to be respectful and try.
I follow you for a while and I really dig your art, just don't get winded because of others. Its not worth it.
The same way you can't expect an atheist to say "bless you" when you sneezes just because you are a Christian, you shouldn't expect people to go out of their day-to-day to remember something that you believe in. I'm not saying that from a place of hate, IN FACT, I've been there and I can say: don't make your happiness dependent on what others think/do specifically for/to you. I can't even count on some of my friends on knowing which color is my favourite and if I did I would only hurt myself needlessly (to put it simply).
Besides, considering its humanity we are talking about, even if you correct people that misgender you some will pretend to care (because society dictates they should), some will dismiss you as entitled, some will simply not grasp where you come from, some will only do it because they like you while others will just use that to get under your skin because they see you upset (we are surrounded by people needing somekind of kryptonite to use against us).
They don't define you, you do. Take care
The same way you can't expect an atheist to say "bless you" when you sneezes just because you are a Christian, you shouldn't expect people to go out of their day-to-day to remember something that you believe in. I'm not saying that from a place of hate, IN FACT, I've been there and I can say: don't make your happiness dependent on what others think/do specifically for/to you. I can't even count on some of my friends on knowing which color is my favourite and if I did I would only hurt myself needlessly (to put it simply).
Besides, considering its humanity we are talking about, even if you correct people that misgender you some will pretend to care (because society dictates they should), some will dismiss you as entitled, some will simply not grasp where you come from, some will only do it because they like you while others will just use that to get under your skin because they see you upset (we are surrounded by people needing somekind of kryptonite to use against us).
They don't define you, you do. Take care
Actually, yes I do expect those that I know and care for to remember day-to-day my pronouns.
Fav color ≠ pronouns. My happiness is dependent on a factor of things, this being one of them and there is nothing wrong with that.
I feel if my friends/family/significant other(s) loved and respected me, they would do their best to use my pronouns. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Again, I don't care what strangers have to say. If a random person was talking to me and ended up misgendering me, then all I can do is correct them and hope they will keep in mind for next time.
But if it's seen as entitled to want to be called my proper pronouns, then so be it.
Have a nice day.
Fav color ≠ pronouns. My happiness is dependent on a factor of things, this being one of them and there is nothing wrong with that.
I feel if my friends/family/significant other(s) loved and respected me, they would do their best to use my pronouns. No ifs, ands, or buts.
Again, I don't care what strangers have to say. If a random person was talking to me and ended up misgendering me, then all I can do is correct them and hope they will keep in mind for next time.
But if it's seen as entitled to want to be called my proper pronouns, then so be it.
Have a nice day.
I don't know if this was passive-agressive or not because text, but I hope I haven't upset you since its not my intention. My comment really boils down to not expecting anything from others because that way if anything good comes from them it feels more like a blessing than "not enough".
I don't know if I think like that because I've been hurt too many times after depositing too much faith on some individuals in my life.
But anyway, have a nice day too.
I don't know if I think like that because I've been hurt too many times after depositing too much faith on some individuals in my life.
But anyway, have a nice day too.
The only thing Geeki is expecting people to do is to respect their pronouns. If someone misgenders them, Geeki feels fine correcting them with no hard feelings! (There is no expectation to just KNOW right off the bat how they prefer to be gendered. )
Geeki's point is just to put in some effort to respect their pronouns if you wish to have any sort of relationship/friendship/aquaintance-ship.
The expectation to respect someone you might want to be friends with is not asking much.
Geeki's point is just to put in some effort to respect their pronouns if you wish to have any sort of relationship/friendship/aquaintance-ship.
The expectation to respect someone you might want to be friends with is not asking much.
I ALWAYS resort to neutral They/Them/You kind of pronouns unless i explicitly notice that they prefer to be called She/He.
Just makes more sense cause majority of the time i am honestly not sure who i'm talking with. Conversations with new people generally don't start with "I'm a he/she/they" afterall... ^^;
Better to be safe and overly polite than informal and sorry. :3
There has been a couple of times though where a person switched pronouns after a long time after self-reflection and i would mistakenly keep using the old pronouns multiple times.
Old habits can be hard to kill at times unfortunately. :/
Just makes more sense cause majority of the time i am honestly not sure who i'm talking with. Conversations with new people generally don't start with "I'm a he/she/they" afterall... ^^;
Better to be safe and overly polite than informal and sorry. :3
There has been a couple of times though where a person switched pronouns after a long time after self-reflection and i would mistakenly keep using the old pronouns multiple times.
Old habits can be hard to kill at times unfortunately. :/
Neutral is always good.
I am usually in group chats or calls, and to have people type/say "Oh I think she's away" or "She's done such great work"
But yes, with new people it wouldn't be common.
And that's the case for me, I was going by "He/she/they" for the longest before I realized just "They/them" fit me best.
Slip ups happen. As long as you apologize and do better next time, then it's all good~
I am usually in group chats or calls, and to have people type/say "Oh I think she's away" or "She's done such great work"
But yes, with new people it wouldn't be common.
And that's the case for me, I was going by "He/she/they" for the longest before I realized just "They/them" fit me best.
Slip ups happen. As long as you apologize and do better next time, then it's all good~
i'm so sorry to see people picking a fight with you over a vent piece instead of just letting you vent
as a nonbinary person who uses they/them, would prefer to use only they/them, and only begrudgingly allows he/him pronouns due to the stubbornness and ignorance of others, i think that you are very much justified in feeling upset when people treat you this way.
and i hope all the dumbasses who pretend they're the ones being victimized when they're the ones refusing to have the bare minimum of decency and social conduct die in a video game
as a nonbinary person who uses they/them, would prefer to use only they/them, and only begrudgingly allows he/him pronouns due to the stubbornness and ignorance of others, i think that you are very much justified in feeling upset when people treat you this way.
and i hope all the dumbasses who pretend they're the ones being victimized when they're the ones refusing to have the bare minimum of decency and social conduct die in a video game
I don't understand how a friend's name might be William, but they wanna be called idk Bill, and people will bend over backwards to remember and even correct strangers, but pronouns are likened to something that's too much trouble... like a favorite color.
If someone is truly your friend or respects you, they will do their best to call you by a preferred name and preferred pronouns.
Of course you would feel upset if someone you saw as important didn't put effort into remembering that.
I hope it gets to eventually be standard for people to ask, but until then wishing you patience and kinder friends~
If someone is truly your friend or respects you, they will do their best to call you by a preferred name and preferred pronouns.
Of course you would feel upset if someone you saw as important didn't put effort into remembering that.
I hope it gets to eventually be standard for people to ask, but until then wishing you patience and kinder friends~
not to dis you but why be so strict on what you want to go by as.
for me I really don't care what peps call me been called a girl and a boy and ECT.
but your not me, so why put so much power to who you want to be called as.
you can go as you want just know some peps have a hard time keeping track of who want to be what or
dose not fallow they new lingo and just say what they see they gender you look like.
just keep in mind peps don't do that to dis you they just may think its a silly thing to get work up on.
I just hope you understand were peps are coming from. you have a lot of peps who like you.
just know with if go on giving your Pronouns that much power your going to have a bad time with pep.
don't box our self of to other pep out there. just be understanding.
(hope you did not get offended on what I said, im not the best at expressing my self. hope I got something throw)
any ways hope life going well with you.
for me I really don't care what peps call me been called a girl and a boy and ECT.
but your not me, so why put so much power to who you want to be called as.
you can go as you want just know some peps have a hard time keeping track of who want to be what or
dose not fallow they new lingo and just say what they see they gender you look like.
just keep in mind peps don't do that to dis you they just may think its a silly thing to get work up on.
I just hope you understand were peps are coming from. you have a lot of peps who like you.
just know with if go on giving your Pronouns that much power your going to have a bad time with pep.
don't box our self of to other pep out there. just be understanding.
(hope you did not get offended on what I said, im not the best at expressing my self. hope I got something throw)
any ways hope life going well with you.
With all due respect Ru, but you really should do some research on gender dysphoria. It's very damaging to a person who identifies with a gender that isnt the one assigned a birth.
That's cool you don't mind what people call you but you're not everyone.
But as I keep repeating, I want my friends and loved ones to call me by my proper pronouns. I already have to sit at work and be called she/her/miss/ma'am, I dont want to come home and hear it from friends too.
I want to come home to an understanding and loving environment to distress and feel accepted for who I am.
Strangers/random people I give no second thoughts about. They dont know any better but I expect more from loved ones.
Plus they/them is not a "new lingo", it has always been around.
And if you say is true, and my followers like me, then they should also respect me and call me by my proper pronouns. If not, then I dont want them as followers. They can get a swift block.
The people who seems like they need to be understanding, is those with similar mindsets to yours. Maybe try to understand why this is important to some of us. We're not the ones putting ourselves in a box, it's others who don't want to take the time to understand us.
That's cool you don't mind what people call you but you're not everyone.
But as I keep repeating, I want my friends and loved ones to call me by my proper pronouns. I already have to sit at work and be called she/her/miss/ma'am, I dont want to come home and hear it from friends too.
I want to come home to an understanding and loving environment to distress and feel accepted for who I am.
Strangers/random people I give no second thoughts about. They dont know any better but I expect more from loved ones.
Plus they/them is not a "new lingo", it has always been around.
And if you say is true, and my followers like me, then they should also respect me and call me by my proper pronouns. If not, then I dont want them as followers. They can get a swift block.
The people who seems like they need to be understanding, is those with similar mindsets to yours. Maybe try to understand why this is important to some of us. We're not the ones putting ourselves in a box, it's others who don't want to take the time to understand us.
I think its more that peps find gender dysphoria alien , and don't under stand it. (see it as a small thing)
why dose it hurt to be called that tho? I mean if I recall you were fine back in the day being called that (if I remember right)
why all the sudden switch ( from what iv seen)
and I suck at this thing.
can I just call you GEEKi?
why dose it hurt to be called that tho? I mean if I recall you were fine back in the day being called that (if I remember right)
why all the sudden switch ( from what iv seen)
and I suck at this thing.
can I just call you GEEKi?
Because people change? A lot of people aren't the same person as they were 5 years ago. Shoot some people aren't the same from a year ago.
I, for the longest thought I didnt care, it's why I went by she/he/they but I realized I was struggling with my gender through the ocs I created. It's why I could never stick to one. It was a constant back and forth from he and she pronouns. Making both female and male sonas to try and connect with.
But I finally realized that she nor he fit me. I am non binary and they/them is what best match me and how I feel.
You can call me Geeki if you want, that's fine.
I, for the longest thought I didnt care, it's why I went by she/he/they but I realized I was struggling with my gender through the ocs I created. It's why I could never stick to one. It was a constant back and forth from he and she pronouns. Making both female and male sonas to try and connect with.
But I finally realized that she nor he fit me. I am non binary and they/them is what best match me and how I feel.
You can call me Geeki if you want, that's fine.
"It doesn't affect me. So why should it affect you?"
For the same reason you shouldn't force a vegan to eat cheese. A little thing called respect.
You don't force a vegan to eat cheese because you respect their decision/belief.
Similarly you don't misgender someone because you respect that they don't want to be called a certain thing.
If you don't understand it, then fine. But if you're using ignorance to dismiss an easy enough request then that's just out of line.
For the same reason you shouldn't force a vegan to eat cheese. A little thing called respect.
You don't force a vegan to eat cheese because you respect their decision/belief.
Similarly you don't misgender someone because you respect that they don't want to be called a certain thing.
If you don't understand it, then fine. But if you're using ignorance to dismiss an easy enough request then that's just out of line.
I am ashamed to read this. That's a whole lotta words just to say "Why does it bother you, it doesn't bother me?" Why would you invalidate their feelings? Is it because it seems trivial to you? If i can recall you've made some journals in the past about things that would seem trivial to other people, would you like it, if they had the ability to invalid your concerns and then ACTUALLY did it? There's more to a power dynamic other than "Give them power". You should really educate yourself better before public writing stuff like this were other people can see it.
I have had enough of the dumbshit. How hard is it to do this? How hard is to change the way you refer to someone when it comes to Pronouns???
Yall have no problem calling someone a different species when they officially change fursonas. You can stop calling someone "Puppy" when they decide to turn into a Feline.
You can call someone by a different username or persona when they change their names to fit themselves better.
How hard is it to just call someone they pronouns they wish to be called?
And i get it, ive seen people get blown up on for an accident. and even im like "Yo, what the heck? This aint it" Ive seen people get blow up on for assuming the incorrect pronouns when there clearly wasnt a femme or masc pointer(e.i. Saying "She" when they look like a femme presenting man but they dont use She they use "He". or He when you absolutely cannot tell and they use "They") I UNDERSTAND that. But see here, we arent talking about that. We are talking about people who purposefully misgender someone when they already know they shouldnt.
Its NO different than a name change or a Fursona change, i simply don't understand.
Even i have issues from time to time saying She or Him when i need to say They or Them specifically. Its hard when you are talking outloud and you've been calling them She or He for years. But thats not gonna stop me from correcting myself and apologizing.
Yall keep talking about "Oh, if it was ME" or "I dont care if people _____" Need to sit the hell down. Because im almost certain, 100% that there is something that you don't like to be done or something you are against that someone else could easily tell you "If it were me" argument to silence you. This is just a simple yet powerful vent that a large number of people are going through and if you really cared about this artist, you'd respect their wishes. You are weak.
Its experiences like these that really make people hesitant on coming out. You all fucking know better.
Yall have no problem calling someone a different species when they officially change fursonas. You can stop calling someone "Puppy" when they decide to turn into a Feline.
You can call someone by a different username or persona when they change their names to fit themselves better.
How hard is it to just call someone they pronouns they wish to be called?
And i get it, ive seen people get blown up on for an accident. and even im like "Yo, what the heck? This aint it" Ive seen people get blow up on for assuming the incorrect pronouns when there clearly wasnt a femme or masc pointer(e.i. Saying "She" when they look like a femme presenting man but they dont use She they use "He". or He when you absolutely cannot tell and they use "They") I UNDERSTAND that. But see here, we arent talking about that. We are talking about people who purposefully misgender someone when they already know they shouldnt.
Its NO different than a name change or a Fursona change, i simply don't understand.
Even i have issues from time to time saying She or Him when i need to say They or Them specifically. Its hard when you are talking outloud and you've been calling them She or He for years. But thats not gonna stop me from correcting myself and apologizing.
Yall keep talking about "Oh, if it was ME" or "I dont care if people _____" Need to sit the hell down. Because im almost certain, 100% that there is something that you don't like to be done or something you are against that someone else could easily tell you "If it were me" argument to silence you. This is just a simple yet powerful vent that a large number of people are going through and if you really cared about this artist, you'd respect their wishes. You are weak.
Its experiences like these that really make people hesitant on coming out. You all fucking know better.
sorry but I did say " for me I really don't care what peps call me been called a girl and a boy and ECT. " >>>>>" but your not me" <<<<<<
so I know not every one feels the same as me as I said but trying to bring out what other peps would be thinking.
and I tend to just call peps by there username, so I never really ran in to this prob.
for the how easy it to some one a different species i tend to see it drawn, tho this to me see like a different category to me then what where talking here.
and what you referring here?>>>>> If i can recall you've made some journals in the past about things that would seem trivial to other people <<<<
and every one on the net has opinion like you calling me "weak" you free to have that. there some things you do or say you don't like or have different takes on from a friend.
to some pep this sounds like forcing a opinion on you and the only thing you can do is agree.
again you do you call your self what you want, just don't expect peps to fallow throw. life is cruel, there is many thing I don't say on line, I feel if it was any one ells they be vary sad and depressed.
I see it if I can go throw that stuff. some one who is miss Pronouns can take it.
one last thing, I may not understand it you also may not understand were im coming form either. can we just agree no one is right or wrong here. its boring to have every one think the same.
so I know not every one feels the same as me as I said but trying to bring out what other peps would be thinking.
and I tend to just call peps by there username, so I never really ran in to this prob.
for the how easy it to some one a different species i tend to see it drawn, tho this to me see like a different category to me then what where talking here.
and what you referring here?>>>>> If i can recall you've made some journals in the past about things that would seem trivial to other people <<<<
and every one on the net has opinion like you calling me "weak" you free to have that. there some things you do or say you don't like or have different takes on from a friend.
to some pep this sounds like forcing a opinion on you and the only thing you can do is agree.
again you do you call your self what you want, just don't expect peps to fallow throw. life is cruel, there is many thing I don't say on line, I feel if it was any one ells they be vary sad and depressed.
I see it if I can go throw that stuff. some one who is miss Pronouns can take it.
one last thing, I may not understand it you also may not understand were im coming form either. can we just agree no one is right or wrong here. its boring to have every one think the same.
That's LITERALLY the point of venting. When there is nothing you can do but express how upsetting a situation is. This is a VENT. They clearly understand that not everyone will be respectful for something as simple as this. In return, that leaves ill feelings, this is whats plaguing them. It even goes so much into being on an even more personal level because they mentioned that its friends and the like who are doing this which bothers them.
People in the journal or in discussions before telling them "Not everyone will listen" seems to be missing the point of venting. Just because there is nothing we can do at the moment doesn't mean we have to accept them or even stay silent. Some people have more fight in them than others and will bring up how unfair or unright something is. For Geeki, they decided to draw a picture with a few words to express their woes and help them vent and people are really telling them "Why bother" or just being extremely unhelpful to the situation at hand.
I am glad that they are letting it out though because it allows me to see the true colors of these so called friends of theirs.
People in the journal or in discussions before telling them "Not everyone will listen" seems to be missing the point of venting. Just because there is nothing we can do at the moment doesn't mean we have to accept them or even stay silent. Some people have more fight in them than others and will bring up how unfair or unright something is. For Geeki, they decided to draw a picture with a few words to express their woes and help them vent and people are really telling them "Why bother" or just being extremely unhelpful to the situation at hand.
I am glad that they are letting it out though because it allows me to see the true colors of these so called friends of theirs.
thank you for responding respectfully^^ thank you for that.
this is a new thing to me so I may not understand it now ( geeki send me a doc to read, to understand it more) so im kinda debating blindly here.
I don't want to be look at in a bad light. and not purposely trying to go agents geeki and what geeki want to be called as, it a bit hard for some who
change up the dialogue when saying it seem grammatically incorrect. and for some one who suck at communicating and sucks at grammar dose make things hard.
to some peps this seem like learning another language. I try to avoid gender words and just call peps by there name or what there sona is. to not get in to debates like this.
to some this is a touchy subject. for the most part just wanted to say what an outsider thinks. so they don't run in to more prob to them self. get to see another view.
many pep don't mean to offend geeki, and respect geeki. but many peps don't have time take a full crash cores of Pronouns, it not a profusion peps want to get in to.
it telling every one I have Ego death and if you fall out of line ill block you. even if you slip up you run the risk of up setting them, pep become self aware and have anxiety
to keep in line. what im seeing is depending how much power geeki give Pronouns, could end up with more drama. and I don't want that for geeki.
well hope that came out well. I don't mean to offend or get any one mad. trying to show both side, tho my communication is bad.
hope my colors is not that dark.
this is a new thing to me so I may not understand it now ( geeki send me a doc to read, to understand it more) so im kinda debating blindly here.
I don't want to be look at in a bad light. and not purposely trying to go agents geeki and what geeki want to be called as, it a bit hard for some who
change up the dialogue when saying it seem grammatically incorrect. and for some one who suck at communicating and sucks at grammar dose make things hard.
to some peps this seem like learning another language. I try to avoid gender words and just call peps by there name or what there sona is. to not get in to debates like this.
to some this is a touchy subject. for the most part just wanted to say what an outsider thinks. so they don't run in to more prob to them self. get to see another view.
many pep don't mean to offend geeki, and respect geeki. but many peps don't have time take a full crash cores of Pronouns, it not a profusion peps want to get in to.
it telling every one I have Ego death and if you fall out of line ill block you. even if you slip up you run the risk of up setting them, pep become self aware and have anxiety
to keep in line. what im seeing is depending how much power geeki give Pronouns, could end up with more drama. and I don't want that for geeki.
well hope that came out well. I don't mean to offend or get any one mad. trying to show both side, tho my communication is bad.
hope my colors is not that dark.
I'm sorry but the more you reply the more I realize you do not want to learn.
If a person do not want to call me by proper pronouns then they definitely do not respect me.
Words have held power for decades. Words can hurt and words can empower. This is not learning a new language, no new words have been added. People really wanna sit here and waste their energy arguing about how they wont call someone their proper pronouns, instead just doing it. It's really ridiculous how some of you act.
And who cares if you block people for being negative? That is what the block button is for. To avoid the bullshit like this. I do not care if this falls under "drama", fighting for myself and others who feel the same as me and just want respect isn't drama.
At this point, I am beyond mad lol I am tired of trying to educate people only for them to ignore my words. I didn't even ask any thing of strangers but you all wanna sit here and get offended for others not even knowing what you're arguing against.
I'm over it. I dont need people like this around me/watching me.
If a person do not want to call me by proper pronouns then they definitely do not respect me.
Words have held power for decades. Words can hurt and words can empower. This is not learning a new language, no new words have been added. People really wanna sit here and waste their energy arguing about how they wont call someone their proper pronouns, instead just doing it. It's really ridiculous how some of you act.
And who cares if you block people for being negative? That is what the block button is for. To avoid the bullshit like this. I do not care if this falls under "drama", fighting for myself and others who feel the same as me and just want respect isn't drama.
At this point, I am beyond mad lol I am tired of trying to educate people only for them to ignore my words. I didn't even ask any thing of strangers but you all wanna sit here and get offended for others not even knowing what you're arguing against.
I'm over it. I dont need people like this around me/watching me.
I don't understand why this even needs to turn into a debate.
Yes, people make mistakes. No one is faulting anyone for an honest mistake.
What people are being faulted for is not fucking trying. If you're unsure, do a bit of digging. Most people post their preferred pronouns if they have any.
Yes, people make mistakes. No one is faulting anyone for an honest mistake.
What people are being faulted for is not fucking trying. If you're unsure, do a bit of digging. Most people post their preferred pronouns if they have any.
Some people are really against neutral pronouns, but why? They aren't even new words or terms. I understand people making mistakes, slipping up, being slow to get it etc (and I do think that people should be understanding of that), but why people get upset by the idea I don't really understand. If anything, I think it makes more sense to use neutral terms as standard, especially if you aren't sure of someone's preference. Personally, I don't mind which pronouns are used for me because I don't think it matters.
Hey everyone new commenting below me : D
How NOT to respond to this post
"but my opinion blah blah blah"
Cool your fucking opinion!
Go make your own ignorant ass post about it and stop fucking bothering them.
It's not fucking hard to say they/them.
Literally just type THEY, THEM, THEIR, THEIRS, THEY'VE, THEMSELF where you would put something else
To those of you who need to learn the singular of THEY
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
Literally Geekidog is in their own right to ask for people to just take a literal second to click
on their fucking page and look at the top of the bio where they have it stated.
As someone who has been through this SHIT with people who claim to love and care about me
I stand with them in saying it's fucking ignorant to ignore what they ask.
If you show someone respect it will be given back to you. If you don't respect that persons feelings
they are going to completely disregard yours get over it.
To Geekidog
Being demanding to make yourself happy and mentally healthy is always the right thing to do if it
doesn't hurt anyone to do the thing you ask.
Keep your head high and never let ignorance knock you down. : )
How NOT to respond to this post
"but my opinion blah blah blah"
Cool your fucking opinion!
Go make your own ignorant ass post about it and stop fucking bothering them.
It's not fucking hard to say they/them.
Literally just type THEY, THEM, THEIR, THEIRS, THEY'VE, THEMSELF where you would put something else
To those of you who need to learn the singular of THEY
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
Literally Geekidog is in their own right to ask for people to just take a literal second to click
on their fucking page and look at the top of the bio where they have it stated.
As someone who has been through this SHIT with people who claim to love and care about me
I stand with them in saying it's fucking ignorant to ignore what they ask.
If you show someone respect it will be given back to you. If you don't respect that persons feelings
they are going to completely disregard yours get over it.
To Geekidog
Being demanding to make yourself happy and mentally healthy is always the right thing to do if it
doesn't hurt anyone to do the thing you ask.
Keep your head high and never let ignorance knock you down. : )
Wow. I am sliding into this comment section a BIT late but I just wanted to throw out there how stupid people can be holy shiiiiiit. I respect you and your art, and find absolutely no trouble in respecting your wishes. Goodness, is it actually that hard, people?? Hope you are well, Geeki! LOVE the bee sweater design!
I'm all for this, as I myself am Nonbinary. I do have a question out if curiosity of perspective, though. How do you take friends who aren't comfortable with using pronouns outside of Male or Female, but are respectful about it? I do know a few people who are genuinely uncomfortable with it for whatever reason, though are respectful in declining the use. I ask, as I have heard many different, interesting answers to this.
I know I'm not Geeki, but I feel compelled to throw my two cents in. While it is subjective to you whether you are ok with people misgendering you or not, the way I see it is, if they are unwilling to call you by your preferred pronouns due to their own preferences, then they don't truly respect you and are selfish. They're putting their own comfort over your wishes, if they had any respect for you they would talk to/about you in a way that is comfortable for you. They don't care about your discomfort, they care only about theirs. That's not proper friendship, its hardly being a good acquaintance. Its not that hard to use they/them. I've been using it this whole time. Everyone uses they/them when they don't know the gender of someone they are talking about. Why is it so hard to refer to someone as they/them because they want to be? In my opinion, there is no 'respectful' way to deny someone what they want to be called. Its an inherently disrespectful move. If someone has a fursona who is a dog, you don't decline to call them a dog because you prefer cats. If someone's name is Tim, you don't start calling them John because you like that name better. Its rude, nonsensical and selfish.
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