"This world is so fucking heartless, my friend, you know..."
- Billy Mardess

Billy always hated when someone was touching him even if it was a way to show sympathy or friendly support. Any physical contact made him feel nervous and aggressive. He showed the same reaction even when others tried to find out the reason for these harsh reactions, so eventually it all came down to cold business communication without any physical contacts. Mardess was quite happy with this, so he went on growing mental spikes, pushing away anyone who came close to him, because touching, first of all, means trust, and Billy did not trust anyone.

Everything started to change when Billy went on the spaceship board under the command of Captain Verneski. He got a personal stateroom and began to feel relatively secure. Despite having regular arguments with everyone, Billy has become calmer and more stable and his horrible temper has softened. Rachis’ appearance made him feel comfortable and less angry all the time. Unfortunately, Mardess was still the same asshole as before, but at least he started to learn to trust and appreciate the feelings of his new crew. He became more tolerant to light touch and tried not to see in any careless gesture an intentional privacy violation. Rachis was the most patient and very understanding towards his new partner and later his interest has turned into something more than just curiosity to someone from another race. A long time had passed before Billy stopped shaking and be nervous from being close to Rachis and then he let him touch his face...Their relationships are still a mystery, because Mardess doesn't want to share details of their personal life with anyone. Billy changes slowly and reluctantly, so Rachis is still very careful when he is touching him. He is afraid to harm him or to scare him, but most importantly, he fears to lose his trust, because he won’t be able to regain it for the second time.

P.S. Billy is asexual and he can’t tolerate anyone touching him below the waist. This can be explained not only by his psychological trauma, but also by violent interference with his body. He is a lab-grown man with implants put under his skin, some of which had greatly influenced his quality of life and perception of the world. He is afraid to be misunderstood and rejected because of his peculiar features. Billy also suffers from a sense of inferiority, developed from social stereotypes… so he is not permitting himself to have any kind of romantic relationships.

OCs, story and grimnir race © Lurelin
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