Note: I'm doing well now! These are feelings of something that happened years ago now-

Anyway~

I've been feeling introspective lately. Thinking about where I've been, where I'm going, new friends, and loneliness. And it's been interesting, seeing just how far you can go even when for a while, it feels like your life's over.

I love the song "Drift Away" from the Steven Universe movie. I feel like it captures a feeling that many of us have experienced, whether it be friendship, romantic, familial, or any kind of relationship; that feeling that you've been left behind. That the person, you cared about so much, just- didn't need or want you anymore. And that there was no time, no reason, or no drive- to keep it from happening.

For the longest time, I kept quiet about what happened in my love life. Told by love I trusted, that it was a secret to be kept. That it was wrong of me to express almost anything about the Love that was had. And even after the relationship ended, it was something to keep to myself. Sort of, respect how she felt and behaved.

But as years go on... I'm done with that. Pain, Love, Regret, Sorrow- those are feelings. Important feelings! And it's good to share them!

Not broadcast them to cause harm or out of spite or anger, but because they're beautiful emotions and that someone might need to hear it right now.

It's okay, to feel hurt, and alone, when you're left behind. It's okay, to struggle and feel like nothing matters, and to try as hard as you can, to overcome the anger and hurt. It's okay to find out, that relationships, a year, 5 years, 10 years long... can end in a few short months, weeks, maybe even days. It's terrifying, to find out that everything you were hoping for, building towards, is suddenly over. And you've got to build a new path in life.

I believe in you- I believe that it will be hard, but you can get through it.

Grow from your mistakes... and let love change, fade if it must.



Though it's a part of this little story, I have nothing but love and respect for polyamory. It looks like a wonderful life that some people can have together, truly, growing and radiating off of each other.

In my story, it gave reasons to grow distant, it divided and isolated relationships instead of growing and connecting.

But my story isn't the only story that matters.



And, in the end. All I ever wanted, was for my former love to be happy. So I hope that they are. Whatever happens, wherever they go, whomever they're with. All I wanted was for them to be happy. And it just so happens, that's without me in their life.



I've got a whole life to live, and so the parts of it that drift away. I wish the best.