Inspired by this video

I knew a piece like this was going to be made at one point or another - the imagery of a forest healing from a fire was clear in my mind from the start, I just needed to wait until my own healing process matched it. I never expected it to be so soon, because I never expected things to turn out how they did. A week and a half ago, I was lost and unsure what direction I was going to go. I had accepted that it was over, but my heart was still crushed.

But as it turns out, while I was struggling to see my life without him, he was realizing he needed me in his. And ultimately, the distance showed him what he truly wanted. He came back to me.

So now the concept of a forest after a fire takes on a different meaning. On the surface, fires are a destructive force, turning all that was once green and alive into smoke and ash. And while it may seem at first like life will never again flourish in these barren patches, eventually the rains will bring forth new growth and all will be restored. Maybe even more abundant and beautiful than before.

I think our relationship needed this, as hard as it was. He had to answer certain questions on his own and now that he's done so, I believe we can move on, without something like this festering in the background. I can't say for sure if it won't come back someday, in the end we can never really know what will happen in this life, but for now I think the storm has passed and we can look at our life together through different eyes. What the future holds is really a mystery.

In practical terms, we were able to sign a new lease and stay in our current apartment, so thankfully no move to deal with on top of Christmas. I'm hoping to just slide into 2020 quietly. I'm still examining parts of myself I want to work on and that will likely be my goal for the next year. I have art plans too.

I want to thank all of you for the supportive comments you left on our anniversary art. I wish that upload could have just been a happy one, but like I said before it's all part of the tapestry. And now this will be too.

I hope every single one of you has a wonderful holiday and that you get everything you deserve. I couldn't ask for anything more than what I've been blessed with already.


Luthien and art © myself

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