This week had me tense. We actually catered and hosted, and I ran the front of the house. I had to learn vital rules Serve from the left; children first, then the elderly, women, then men. You also had to refill glasses on the right side, along with taking away plates. It sounds so easy till you forget at least three of the rules, and it haunts me the rest of the time.
It got worse having to run a buffet because you have to be there the entire time, around HORDES of people, and make sure any platters or trays have to be refilled. I made none of the actual food so I felt really awkward there. I had to reason to talk with anyone because all I did was set the buffet tables, I made none of the good that they liked.
What really haunted me the entire time, however, was while talking with an older student. I wanted to talk with him about some menu ideas that were due next week, but it shifted into how the event has to run. I went along with it, understanding execution is just as important as preparation, and I was eager for both. But, when he started talking about confidence and leadership, I was shaking the rest of the day. The idea of other people relying on me fills me with doubt. So, when he told me, "You just have to act confident or none of the cooks will have confidence in you," my jaw locked up and the thoughts in my head ran along the line of, "If you want me to lead, the ship is going down." Something about being relied on, or just being told to be confident causes me to become the exact opposite. I don't know why, maybe it's a reflex.. Regardless, it resulted in my being a shaky, nervous, cook the entire time.
And now I got to make a menu to turn into my professor by Thursday. I got a good start though, hopefully it goes well.