Well, I was hoping that this story wouldn't turn into those "Mary-Sue self-insert fanfictions", but somehow - even after forcefully inflating Mr. Peanut to complete helplessness until he burst and then shrinking him to the size of a tennis ball - it did. But it wasn't my fault.

He was the one who grabbed hold of my chubby cheeks and thrust my face towards his. His muscles are practically made of protein thanks to his being a peanut, so it was a shockingly strong grip. Then, it happened. He kissed me. I quickly became enraptured in the moment, cradling his perfectly-formed neck with one hand and running my non-existent fingers of my other hand along his precious shining pearl of a body. His sleek, black, loving beanpoles of arms ran affectionately across the floofs of my cheeks like strands of silken hair making sweet love to a velour pillow during a peaceful night's sleep in a luxurious hotel. I ever-so-gently held his tiny, princely begloved hands and seductively planted a thumb into each sweet palm. The smell of peanut butter lingered through my nasal passages and into my heart as my Cheez Ball-colored tongue gently yet generously circled his pulchritudinous, non-existent lips..... Ah .....

...sadly (or not, alternatively), that was all cut short by sudden burst of rainbow light, seemingly coming from inside his shell. He sparkled brightly like a disco ball as he became too hot for me to hold. He floated in mid-air as his entire shape began to morph slowly...into something that was too 𝓱𝓪𝔀𝓽 for me not to hold...

Enter Prince Bartholomew Of Arachia. A perfect bishou-nut with gleaming angel wings, thigh-high spats and a serious talent for singing 4 Non Blondes songs and creating sparkly rainbows! This poor peanut prince, in his own words, was apparently defaced, thrown off a cliff and engsmsPLODED after a dark force convinced all his people that he was a capitalist! For shame! But, thanks to the power of true love from just one little tanuki, he was finally able to return to his true form.

"I am forever in love with pistachi-you, my one and alm-only darligume. cash-You wal n̶u̶t̶
alwaysmond be mine." I blushed so hard that an anime schoolgirl outfit suddenly appeared on my body. He continued: "Which is why I want to return the favor...by imbuing you with my powers.", as that nasty pervert proceeded to stuff himself into my stomach, starting with his not-very-tasty high-heeled shoe! "You can't just climb into a lady's stomach without her consent, you masher!" I cried out as I slapped him like the pedals of a waterwheel, making sure he would never forget that swallowing people is a very sacred and passion-filled ritual of romance, one that requires love and respect for one another and absolutely shan't be forced by either party.

"I can if there's trouble ahead.", he said.
"What kind of trouble!?" I said.
All I could hear in that next moment was a giant "snap", like that of two fingers striking against one another. Immediately afterwards, the Peanutters and their NUTmobile stood completely still. Then, I watched in complete shock as they all disintegrated into tiny nachos, which themselves broke into tinier and tinier nachos and so on and so forth, until every figure eventually became dust in the wind.
Prince Bartholomew was completely right. There was trouble. And I was beginning to feel like I was going to have a bad time...

[url=]~To be continued~[/url]