Hey noodle what did you do today?

Well I woke up at about 5ish and stayed up for a few hours goobing off online, then I went back to bed. I wound up waking up at 12:30ish and then grabbed a shower and headed out. It was raining while I drove and I called grandma and chatted with her while en route. I pulled in to the McD's in Draffenville and after chatting with her, I ordered a Quarter Pounder large size with a conke.

I ate it en route to Paducah, where I headed to the doctor's. I filled out some paperwork then got my blood pressure tested (a bit higher than wanted) and then Dr. Stewart came back with a med student named Aiden. They tested my ankle and after writing a note allowing me full use of it in a week, I headed to Books A Million again. I really wanted those anthologies, and I picked up 8 more of them...I can't help it! They look so attractive, are so cheap, and I loooooove anthologies!

I then headed to Temps Plus and turned in the note...And she said that the position may not be open in a week. Dang it! My honesty potentially costed me a job! Double dang!

...But I guess that just means I hafta rock the interview on Friday even harder. I called mum while heading home, 'cause she wanted me to pick up a pizza from Fast Eddy's. When I got there I got some gas (it was less than $2!) and while there I saw a couple of workers from Jonathan Elementary there...One of whom was Mrs. Kelly (My old 1st grade teacher), and she was chatting with the other worker. I heard them mention something about not seeing each other for a while, as if the quarantines were moving in our direction.

After pumping my gas I went in and got the pizza, then headed home. I gave mum the 'za and went downstairs to download autocad and chat with frands...It was a bit somber, since today was my frand's funeral. I think I felt angery, because I should have been the one to die. I am older and have less going for me. He actually had a romantic love, which may be something I never obtain. That alone...

...Anyway. I went upstairs and read some of my book (Flatland) and had 2 slices of the pizza and some chocolate chip cookies. I went back downstairs and spent some time practicing AutoCad and actually rocking it pretty hard!

...Then I saw some more pics from his funeral, and they broke my heart. He had 2 fursuit heads just sitting there...Devoid of life. Once they were filled with joy and happiness, and now only shadows occupy them. It hurt to see that photo lads, and while chatting with Minty (He's the one who posted them), he said he regretted a bit. I told him not to feel bad, that the sadness is helping me contextualize the tragedy, and the photos certainly frame the situation in a way I can comprehend.

One of the happier thoughts I had is that my friend simply graduated Earth. He learned all he needed to learn, and exited back to dragon world. I really liked that thought, and nursed it until it was strong enough to fight off other competing thoughts. Minty then said he idolized my optimism, and he sent me a small conversation I had had with my frand before he passed.


Frand: you like everyone Noodle, thas what I like about you

Me: <3

Frand: such unrelentless optimism

Me: I try! C:
I like you because you draw really well, and have two fursuit heads! C:
And one of them is a robo! o:

Sometimes angels can be angels, and sometimes they are dragons. My dragon frand is now an angel, and he found value in me.

I honestly dunno what to think about that. Many good things, some sad things, some guilty. The good things obviously have to do with my own worth, how kind he was, and the possibility he truly is grazing through the cosmos as a shiny dragon. Sad because...Well, he died...

...And guilty because I seem unable to see much good in me. I know it's not healthy, but I think it best I don't try. Every time I do I feel sad, so I instead try to get others to feel better and realize their worth. I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't have something great about them. Perhaps that's why I feel so lousy about myself...When you see all these fantastic traits in others, how are you supposed to compete?

I spent the evening watching some tubes...Mostly musicals (Twisted, Holy musical B@man, some vidya gaem vids), then chatted with frands and played KoL and played some more Little Alchemy 2 while watching Isaacs before heading to bed around 5ish.

I hope everyone has a funerary day! <333