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The Challenges of Leadership - a story excerpt on what I think it takes to be a leader. Sorry, it's a long one, but worth the read, I hope.
Some will recognize the first pic above as being a modification of the cover art from my Wilderhom book. The second belongs to my good friend, Mapper and is being used with his permission. I don't think it's been posted before on FA. Below is an excerpt from ‘Wilderhom’, the second book in my Wilderhom Trilogy. Please note that the unusual quotation punctuation around dialogue is due to the fact that the Phurs in my story communicate using various forms of telepathy.
Kemsa looked at the time, hissed, and pushed herself away from the littered desk in the study of the Admin tower on her estate. She had been working at this all day!
[No more! I've got to take a break. I promised Lenti I would see her after breakfast and now it is already past suppertime! How is a High Elder supposed to function with all this… this junk thrown at her?] She waved a paw at the piles of unread documents and reports.
[Transition time is not good representation of High Elder duties,] provided Korrak as he looked up from his desk where he’d been going through even more documents. [There is extra work as all estates give tribute to new leader and report their current status. Much of this would normally come at different times of year. It tapers off… eventually.]
Kemsa noticed Korrak hadn't mentioned the 'non-standard' correspondence - the messages sent to Clan Taq Elders from other Clans via long-distance telsing, transcribed, and then forwarded to her - the ones that were neither dry nor, in most cases, flattering.
[Korrak, what of the rumors? Already the Taqhom Event has thousands dead and vast tracts of land destroyed. Will they taper off too?]
"Not likely," came a voice from the door. It was Griffith Tange, and he looked tired too. "Welcome to the world of politics, Kemsa, where wild speculation is the normal currency, and truth is a rare coin, indeed."
[But how can anyone believe this drivel?] Kemsa complained as she picked up several specially tagged messages. [Here's one from the Lepid Clan that asks if humans have taken control in Clan Taq! And this one from the Bovid Clan that accuses Clan Taq of breeding mutant telepaths with frightening powers! I am NOT a mutant!] She tossed the messages back to her desk. [There are some worse than those, and it's only been one day since it happened!]
Griffith strode into the room and right up to Kemsa. He took her by the paws gently for a man with huge hands. "I don't mean to belittle your dilemma, but truth is, you've entered a different world. When you were the ambassador here from Clan Reyn, you were an anonymous observer. Now you are High Elder and hold the reigns of power in the most dominant Clan on Wilderhom. The eyes of the entire planet are on you. Things have happened here that have never happened before, and you are at the center of it." He gave a half-hearted chuckle. "I even thought to hush this up over at the Embassy. I knew better, but it was a knee-jerk reaction of this overworked diplomat. I told Petterson to 'Keep it under your hat.' An interesting place to keep a secret since, politically speaking, 'under your hat' is where they keep the public address system. Anyway, I need to bring you up to date on a few things at the Embassy."
Griffith motioned for the both of them and Korrak to have a seat, and Kemsa reluctantly complied. It meant she would have to postpone seeing Lenti even further.
**Harlan, Mika, Sona, and Jayson have been with me, cousin,** came Lenti's soft thought. **You have important things to do and there will be time later.**
Kemsa sighed. Lenti was right but it would be so nice to see her. Another gentle feeling brushed her mind and she smiled.
**Later then.**
She turned her attention back to business.
"Kemsa?" started Griffith, looking serious. "You remember me telling you that we recorded a clean copy of the atmospheric monitoring done by the Trans-World receiving station before someone altered it?"
Kemsa nodded.
"Well it seems we have the only copy left. Petterson discovered this morning that someone wiped all the official monitoring records from yesterday - real and altered. There aren't any left except the one on the flash card locked in Petterson's office."
Kemsa stared for a moment and then grinned. [Then there’s no problem!] She noticed that Griffith didn't seem pleased. [Is there?]
"I'm not sure," Griffith said. He punched a thumb behind him in the direction of the Council Hall. "What about the several thousand 'recording devices' that were out there on the combat field - the ones called 'eye-witnesses'?" He pointed back to the stack of tagged rumor messages. "Without an official record to refute rumor, anyone can believe anything they want about what happened. Whoever wiped those records might not have our best interests in mind."
[But we have a copy of the original. Won't that help?]
Griffith looked even more serious. "It may, but that record was made with the idea of refuting an official record that was altered. As of now, the most damning problem is the fact that there is no record at all. People will wonder why it was wiped especially with the strange rumors flying around. Now, if we suddenly produce a record to fill in the gap, who do you think folks will suspect wiped the records in the first place? All of a sudden, the rumor-mongers scream 'cover-up', denounce the true record as false, and use the whole cover-up argument to justify whatever version of events they wish to support."
[So it would be better not to do anything with the record?]
"For now? Yes."
[So we have nothing to counter rumor?] Kemsa felt the weight of circumstance pressing down on her. For all the power she was supposed to have, she was feeling very helpless.
Griffith looked at her with what seemed to be great sympathy. "You've just had an important lesson in managing a position of power. The lesson is this. 'Truth cannot counter rumor.' This is because of the very nature of rumor itself. Rumor is what some folks wish to believe - not what truly is. If the real world counters their beliefs, they come up with things to explain those anomalies. For most, it is infinitely easier to believe a falsehood than to admit they are wrong and change. Always remember this when seeking good counsel. A truly wise person is one who can admit they're wrong."
Kemsa looked to the south in the direction of the combat field, her paws dampening with nervous sweat and her mind whirling with myriad thoughts… and doubts. When she turned back to Griffith, her mind-voice was a whisper. [What I did yesterday. What we did - Mika, Jayson, and me. That huge… portal. Were we wrong to create it?]
Griffith looked at her for a long time before reaching out a hand and settling it on her trembling shoulder. "I don't know, Kemsa. Time hasn't yet told us one way or the other. But if you can question the rightness of your actions, you will make a good leader. Granted, circumstances don't often give us the luxury of 'thinking time' before a decision must be made, but good leaders do the best they can with the time and resources they have. Then - and this is equally important - they admit the mistake, if that's what it turns out to be, and correct it."
Kemsa turned to Korrak. [Have you ever had to admit to a mistake? You don't seem the type.]
Korrak nodded. [I make mistakes, but I not bemoan them. It is simple matter of telsing 'I made wrong decision. This is new one. Do it!' Bad decision is not sign of weakness if correction is made and implemented quickly. Weakness is when leader berates self or shifts responsibility to others because correct decision not made first time. In that case it is leader who declares himself unfit. Any leader that thinks correct decision is required of him first time, every time, in order to be good leader is fool. Real world not like that. Admit mistake. Correct it. Move on. That shows strength of character.]
For a moment, Kemsa focused on a point on the floor between the three of them. Then she looked up. [Gather counsel. Decide. Then take full responsibility for the decision. If it's wrong, admit it, correct it, and move on. I would add that doubt prior to making a decision should be shared only with those close to you because counsel in times of doubt is their job. However, doubt should not be shown publicly because the public's sheer numbers make it impossible for them to offer effective and timely counsel.]
"That, and more often than not, they won't bother," Griffith added. "True, the public has certain decision-making responsibilities, but those decisions should be registered through public forums designed to make sense of the public's input. Things like polls, ballot initiatives, petitions, voting, that sort of thing." He waved to Kemsa’s cluttered desk. “You think this is bad, just imagine getting some form of ‘helpful’ correspondence from every single Phur on Wilderhom. ‘Completely Buried’ would be an understatement.” Griffith squeezed Kemsa’s shoulder which was no longer trembling. "I think you'll do."
Kemsa put a paw on the big man's arm and brought her cheek down to rest on it. [Thank you.] She raised her head again, looked him in the eyes, and liked what she saw. [I can count on your counsel, then?]
"Just ask," Griffith said quietly.
She looked to Korrak, who nodded as well.
This was written in 2004.
I think it still applies.
Let me know what you think.
Some will recognize the first pic above as being a modification of the cover art from my Wilderhom book. The second belongs to my good friend, Mapper and is being used with his permission. I don't think it's been posted before on FA. Below is an excerpt from ‘Wilderhom’, the second book in my Wilderhom Trilogy. Please note that the unusual quotation punctuation around dialogue is due to the fact that the Phurs in my story communicate using various forms of telepathy.
Kemsa looked at the time, hissed, and pushed herself away from the littered desk in the study of the Admin tower on her estate. She had been working at this all day!
[No more! I've got to take a break. I promised Lenti I would see her after breakfast and now it is already past suppertime! How is a High Elder supposed to function with all this… this junk thrown at her?] She waved a paw at the piles of unread documents and reports.
[Transition time is not good representation of High Elder duties,] provided Korrak as he looked up from his desk where he’d been going through even more documents. [There is extra work as all estates give tribute to new leader and report their current status. Much of this would normally come at different times of year. It tapers off… eventually.]
Kemsa noticed Korrak hadn't mentioned the 'non-standard' correspondence - the messages sent to Clan Taq Elders from other Clans via long-distance telsing, transcribed, and then forwarded to her - the ones that were neither dry nor, in most cases, flattering.
[Korrak, what of the rumors? Already the Taqhom Event has thousands dead and vast tracts of land destroyed. Will they taper off too?]
"Not likely," came a voice from the door. It was Griffith Tange, and he looked tired too. "Welcome to the world of politics, Kemsa, where wild speculation is the normal currency, and truth is a rare coin, indeed."
[But how can anyone believe this drivel?] Kemsa complained as she picked up several specially tagged messages. [Here's one from the Lepid Clan that asks if humans have taken control in Clan Taq! And this one from the Bovid Clan that accuses Clan Taq of breeding mutant telepaths with frightening powers! I am NOT a mutant!] She tossed the messages back to her desk. [There are some worse than those, and it's only been one day since it happened!]
Griffith strode into the room and right up to Kemsa. He took her by the paws gently for a man with huge hands. "I don't mean to belittle your dilemma, but truth is, you've entered a different world. When you were the ambassador here from Clan Reyn, you were an anonymous observer. Now you are High Elder and hold the reigns of power in the most dominant Clan on Wilderhom. The eyes of the entire planet are on you. Things have happened here that have never happened before, and you are at the center of it." He gave a half-hearted chuckle. "I even thought to hush this up over at the Embassy. I knew better, but it was a knee-jerk reaction of this overworked diplomat. I told Petterson to 'Keep it under your hat.' An interesting place to keep a secret since, politically speaking, 'under your hat' is where they keep the public address system. Anyway, I need to bring you up to date on a few things at the Embassy."
Griffith motioned for the both of them and Korrak to have a seat, and Kemsa reluctantly complied. It meant she would have to postpone seeing Lenti even further.
**Harlan, Mika, Sona, and Jayson have been with me, cousin,** came Lenti's soft thought. **You have important things to do and there will be time later.**
Kemsa sighed. Lenti was right but it would be so nice to see her. Another gentle feeling brushed her mind and she smiled.
**Later then.**
She turned her attention back to business.
"Kemsa?" started Griffith, looking serious. "You remember me telling you that we recorded a clean copy of the atmospheric monitoring done by the Trans-World receiving station before someone altered it?"
Kemsa nodded.
"Well it seems we have the only copy left. Petterson discovered this morning that someone wiped all the official monitoring records from yesterday - real and altered. There aren't any left except the one on the flash card locked in Petterson's office."
Kemsa stared for a moment and then grinned. [Then there’s no problem!] She noticed that Griffith didn't seem pleased. [Is there?]
"I'm not sure," Griffith said. He punched a thumb behind him in the direction of the Council Hall. "What about the several thousand 'recording devices' that were out there on the combat field - the ones called 'eye-witnesses'?" He pointed back to the stack of tagged rumor messages. "Without an official record to refute rumor, anyone can believe anything they want about what happened. Whoever wiped those records might not have our best interests in mind."
[But we have a copy of the original. Won't that help?]
Griffith looked even more serious. "It may, but that record was made with the idea of refuting an official record that was altered. As of now, the most damning problem is the fact that there is no record at all. People will wonder why it was wiped especially with the strange rumors flying around. Now, if we suddenly produce a record to fill in the gap, who do you think folks will suspect wiped the records in the first place? All of a sudden, the rumor-mongers scream 'cover-up', denounce the true record as false, and use the whole cover-up argument to justify whatever version of events they wish to support."
[So it would be better not to do anything with the record?]
"For now? Yes."
[So we have nothing to counter rumor?] Kemsa felt the weight of circumstance pressing down on her. For all the power she was supposed to have, she was feeling very helpless.
Griffith looked at her with what seemed to be great sympathy. "You've just had an important lesson in managing a position of power. The lesson is this. 'Truth cannot counter rumor.' This is because of the very nature of rumor itself. Rumor is what some folks wish to believe - not what truly is. If the real world counters their beliefs, they come up with things to explain those anomalies. For most, it is infinitely easier to believe a falsehood than to admit they are wrong and change. Always remember this when seeking good counsel. A truly wise person is one who can admit they're wrong."
Kemsa looked to the south in the direction of the combat field, her paws dampening with nervous sweat and her mind whirling with myriad thoughts… and doubts. When she turned back to Griffith, her mind-voice was a whisper. [What I did yesterday. What we did - Mika, Jayson, and me. That huge… portal. Were we wrong to create it?]
Griffith looked at her for a long time before reaching out a hand and settling it on her trembling shoulder. "I don't know, Kemsa. Time hasn't yet told us one way or the other. But if you can question the rightness of your actions, you will make a good leader. Granted, circumstances don't often give us the luxury of 'thinking time' before a decision must be made, but good leaders do the best they can with the time and resources they have. Then - and this is equally important - they admit the mistake, if that's what it turns out to be, and correct it."
Kemsa turned to Korrak. [Have you ever had to admit to a mistake? You don't seem the type.]
Korrak nodded. [I make mistakes, but I not bemoan them. It is simple matter of telsing 'I made wrong decision. This is new one. Do it!' Bad decision is not sign of weakness if correction is made and implemented quickly. Weakness is when leader berates self or shifts responsibility to others because correct decision not made first time. In that case it is leader who declares himself unfit. Any leader that thinks correct decision is required of him first time, every time, in order to be good leader is fool. Real world not like that. Admit mistake. Correct it. Move on. That shows strength of character.]
For a moment, Kemsa focused on a point on the floor between the three of them. Then she looked up. [Gather counsel. Decide. Then take full responsibility for the decision. If it's wrong, admit it, correct it, and move on. I would add that doubt prior to making a decision should be shared only with those close to you because counsel in times of doubt is their job. However, doubt should not be shown publicly because the public's sheer numbers make it impossible for them to offer effective and timely counsel.]
"That, and more often than not, they won't bother," Griffith added. "True, the public has certain decision-making responsibilities, but those decisions should be registered through public forums designed to make sense of the public's input. Things like polls, ballot initiatives, petitions, voting, that sort of thing." He waved to Kemsa’s cluttered desk. “You think this is bad, just imagine getting some form of ‘helpful’ correspondence from every single Phur on Wilderhom. ‘Completely Buried’ would be an understatement.” Griffith squeezed Kemsa’s shoulder which was no longer trembling. "I think you'll do."
Kemsa put a paw on the big man's arm and brought her cheek down to rest on it. [Thank you.] She raised her head again, looked him in the eyes, and liked what she saw. [I can count on your counsel, then?]
"Just ask," Griffith said quietly.
She looked to Korrak, who nodded as well.
This was written in 2004.
I think it still applies.
Let me know what you think.
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 663px
File Size 211.6 kB
Good story elements that do matter.
Not sure of the 3D uncanny valley and that cover for audience and attraction to the novel, the publishing world is currently very foobar and there are plenty of books being published with far more amateur and uncompelling covers.
Although a short excerpt your character description is very little in this selection when there is room to express it; especially the anthropomorphism, one mention of a paw and that is it, the only inkling we have that a character is anthropomorphic.
Flow and mechanics wise there is an issue with very repetitive sentence paragraph structure. Character blanked, especially character looked, dialogue, character looked. This mucks up flow a little and creates a boring atmosphere.
Combing after the draft write and thinking of new ways to approach sentences and flow with action and adjectives can go a long way (room for that anthropomorphism and character description here as well).
**Later then.** Find ways to naturally create paragraphs and transition scene to scene is far more powerful for your audience leading one book section to the next.
Souls there and the deep SF goodiness, expressing it writing wise mechanically is the hurtle.
Not sure of the 3D uncanny valley and that cover for audience and attraction to the novel, the publishing world is currently very foobar and there are plenty of books being published with far more amateur and uncompelling covers.
Although a short excerpt your character description is very little in this selection when there is room to express it; especially the anthropomorphism, one mention of a paw and that is it, the only inkling we have that a character is anthropomorphic.
Flow and mechanics wise there is an issue with very repetitive sentence paragraph structure. Character blanked, especially character looked, dialogue, character looked. This mucks up flow a little and creates a boring atmosphere.
Combing after the draft write and thinking of new ways to approach sentences and flow with action and adjectives can go a long way (room for that anthropomorphism and character description here as well).
**Later then.** Find ways to naturally create paragraphs and transition scene to scene is far more powerful for your audience leading one book section to the next.
Souls there and the deep SF goodiness, expressing it writing wise mechanically is the hurtle.
Thank you for the critique. All good stuff. Just remember, this excerpt is 16 years old and was one of my first writing projects. (The pics are that old, too.) The book this is from is over 600 pages long, so a small snippet will lack a lot of backround on characters and settings. What I mainly wanted to do with this was to get my thoughts across on what I think a good leader should be. Doing this in a story setting seems more palatable then me just spouting off.
Don't think I'll ever get as good as the writing pros, but that was never my goal. Immersing myself in writing made me take time to think about what I was saying. It gave me a whole new view on how to communicate. In short, I like to engage my brain before opening my mouth. I try not to speak 'off the top of my head' because that's where all the hot air rises to.
(Wait. Did I just end that sentence with a preposition? Ah well. Back to the grammar books.)
Don't think I'll ever get as good as the writing pros, but that was never my goal. Immersing myself in writing made me take time to think about what I was saying. It gave me a whole new view on how to communicate. In short, I like to engage my brain before opening my mouth. I try not to speak 'off the top of my head' because that's where all the hot air rises to.
(Wait. Did I just end that sentence with a preposition? Ah well. Back to the grammar books.)
Thanks, friend. :) Thing is, going back and reading this 'old' work makes me cringe a bit. Not because of the content, but because that's when I first started writing. Oooo... the mistakes I made in style and word choice. If I had it to do all over again? I don't think I would. That trilogy is over 650,000 words. Yikes.
I was in the same boot with the cringe and did go for the rewrite (I like to think I'm doing it better the second time around but ...) and it 'grew' a bit in the retelling (first four chapters became three books!)
helixthefallen is right in that publishing is a crap shoot, though your art beats a lot of what I see out there (and is much better than my silly attempts! )
Downsides to going traditional publishing is for a small upfront payment you will get a boiler plate contract giving them the rights to do whatever they want with your story; this includes bad or no editing, whatever cover they like, little to no marketing, and currently they like pricing the ebook out of the market to prop up their paper sales. (and you may never see a single penny from 'royalties' ...)
While there's no up-front payment, self publishing means you will have full control over your works. Which means that if it doesn't seem to be selling you can go back and change/play with things (rewriting/other cover art/playing with the price-point.)
Which ever way you go, have fun - and good luck!
helixthefallen is right in that publishing is a crap shoot, though your art beats a lot of what I see out there (and is much better than my silly attempts! )
Downsides to going traditional publishing is for a small upfront payment you will get a boiler plate contract giving them the rights to do whatever they want with your story; this includes bad or no editing, whatever cover they like, little to no marketing, and currently they like pricing the ebook out of the market to prop up their paper sales. (and you may never see a single penny from 'royalties' ...)
While there's no up-front payment, self publishing means you will have full control over your works. Which means that if it doesn't seem to be selling you can go back and change/play with things (rewriting/other cover art/playing with the price-point.)
Which ever way you go, have fun - and good luck!
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