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Beware them, the Arbiters. They mustn’t learn we’re here.
---Bitter enemies meet on the battlefield, and one, outmatched, must evade the other, outwitted. Against might, magic, and all this world’s mysteries, how can a child possibly hope to survive?
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Category Story / Baby fur
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 366.8 kB
Despite my tease in the reply, you really do write at an exceptional level, and I earnestly hope you find your passion for this project (or others) again. Dare I say, you might even be better than me (if you repeat this anywhere I will delete this message and say you're totally making it up don't try to screenshot it either I own the NFT for this comment and my Internet lawyer will sue you).
My at-best mildly educated take, based upon reading a single chapter out of order and one standalone cosmic horror fetish story of yours, is that you need to write less while saying more. Total shot in the dark, but I imagine writing this super long chase sequence burned you out a bit on the story and while there's a ton of detail, it also stretches what should be a tight and packed action setpiece into a very long sequence where you kinda just covered several permutations of the same event.
It also taps you out of a lot of power or skill reveals that could have been used in future setpieces. Speaking from personal experience, realizing I just blew my load of Good Ideas in a single short story or chapter tends to make continuing my projects difficult because now there's a high mental cost to be paid to have something exciting happen in the next chapter.
Anyways, I know the word blocks of critique are larger than the praise, but that's because the critiques are so minor that I need to properly qualify them, a rather word-inefficient process (doubly ironic given my advice). You've got the sauce, just gotta cook more of it.
May your quill always be sharp, and the ink never dry.
My at-best mildly educated take, based upon reading a single chapter out of order and one standalone cosmic horror fetish story of yours, is that you need to write less while saying more. Total shot in the dark, but I imagine writing this super long chase sequence burned you out a bit on the story and while there's a ton of detail, it also stretches what should be a tight and packed action setpiece into a very long sequence where you kinda just covered several permutations of the same event.
It also taps you out of a lot of power or skill reveals that could have been used in future setpieces. Speaking from personal experience, realizing I just blew my load of Good Ideas in a single short story or chapter tends to make continuing my projects difficult because now there's a high mental cost to be paid to have something exciting happen in the next chapter.
Anyways, I know the word blocks of critique are larger than the praise, but that's because the critiques are so minor that I need to properly qualify them, a rather word-inefficient process (doubly ironic given my advice). You've got the sauce, just gotta cook more of it.
May your quill always be sharp, and the ink never dry.
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