
Patreon Post: https://www.patreon.com/posts/2020-.....l-art-36641630
Wow, April sure came and went by in a blaze. I'm sad to see I made very little artwork this month, the stuff I did draw makes me happy though.
In our home there has been a lot of in-fighting, arguments, and tears. I'm having a lot of trouble keeping my sanity together. I'm very close to giving up on.. well living. There are many problems and many solutions, but unfortunately due to circumstances... I have no access to any of them. And without medication, treatments, and consistency - I am only getting weaker and weaker physically. It's been a huge struggle to keep going, even one day at a time. I'm very frustrated with everything. I don't know what to do. I can not reach out for help because it backfires on me very badly. I am trapped and I am alone.
I am trying my best to.. just not engage in it. to not think about it. to stop thinking about how sad and upset I am literally 99.9% of the time. I'm so tired lately, it helps. I just want to sleep. I guess that's where april went, I literally slept it away.
I'm trying to spend more time now reading when I can stand to focus on a screen or book. Manga has been really fun and helpful but I've mostly been reading romance one offs and it feels a LOT like eating potato chips. Salty, yummy, immediate satisfaction, buuuuut not filling in the slightest. I will need to look for more long-term manga stories or web comics to check out, I'd love any recommendations if you have favorites?
When I'm too tired to look at stuff/read/listen I'll often be stuck in bed just "resting". I've been thinking a lot more about fun feral animal stories like watership down, ginga densetsu gin and weed series, how everyone loves warrior cats. It just makes me happy to think about, as a teen I was made fun of very hard for being into warriors and gave it up! Now late 20's everyone is into it, just fuck haha. I was WAY TOO EARLY for that fandom I guess. My current mental kick lately has been mostly about watership down and rabbits for stories I want to explore and tell.
Most of the patrons know of my silly take of jackalopes, the cloverse version is called the Clawed Jackalope! Due to them stabby hind toes/claws they use to regularly maim. I have a whole bundle of clawed jackalopes who are dying to tell their stories! But not just the fantastical rabbits, my regular bunnies are thriving and ready to go as well.
I don't expect much to come from it, at this point I'm only looking for joy. Self sustaining joy. But it's pretty much a fantasy version of watership down where the clawed jackalopes live and change up the normal lifestyle quite a bit for the regular rabbits. Helps give them a bit more of a dangerous edge and quite a bit more conflict and loyalty the characters themselves will need to sort out. Makes me grin to think about it, like playing werewolf with my own ocs I guess??? haha everyone is spooked.
Another fun layer to the rabbits, they actually live just out in the wild outside of the Cloverly-Ponies AU I have my ocs. I figure it doesn't make sense to have sparkly/rainbow rabbits in the wild.... but what if the normal setting just had colorful rainbow ponyfolk who colonize there? It makes sense then that pink rabbits exist...? So, that's a whole fun layer I like to think about how the foals/rangers in the pony au learn about rabbits and wildlife around their town.
By making the effort to write this all down I hope to continue to encourage myself to just... write badly. make silly character comics and interactions. just engage with myself. and i hope you all don't mind me sharing that here with you all! C:
so... as you can see, so far everything is pretty terrible. But I will be trying harder to retreat to my imagination. And... that's all. wish me luck? haha...
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❤ Where to find more of AJ's content.
Flipside; Tail Side Up (Personal work & NSFW content) 18+ only
✦ Flipside Subscribestar
✦ NSFW Twitter
✦ NSFW DA
✦ ToyHouse
✦ AOOO
✦ Amazon Wish List
Clover Coin Designs (SFW Content Feeds)
✦ CloverCoin Patreon
✦ DeviantArt
✦ Twitter
✦ Ko-fi
────────────────────────────
Wow, April sure came and went by in a blaze. I'm sad to see I made very little artwork this month, the stuff I did draw makes me happy though.
In our home there has been a lot of in-fighting, arguments, and tears. I'm having a lot of trouble keeping my sanity together. I'm very close to giving up on.. well living. There are many problems and many solutions, but unfortunately due to circumstances... I have no access to any of them. And without medication, treatments, and consistency - I am only getting weaker and weaker physically. It's been a huge struggle to keep going, even one day at a time. I'm very frustrated with everything. I don't know what to do. I can not reach out for help because it backfires on me very badly. I am trapped and I am alone.
I am trying my best to.. just not engage in it. to not think about it. to stop thinking about how sad and upset I am literally 99.9% of the time. I'm so tired lately, it helps. I just want to sleep. I guess that's where april went, I literally slept it away.
I'm trying to spend more time now reading when I can stand to focus on a screen or book. Manga has been really fun and helpful but I've mostly been reading romance one offs and it feels a LOT like eating potato chips. Salty, yummy, immediate satisfaction, buuuuut not filling in the slightest. I will need to look for more long-term manga stories or web comics to check out, I'd love any recommendations if you have favorites?
When I'm too tired to look at stuff/read/listen I'll often be stuck in bed just "resting". I've been thinking a lot more about fun feral animal stories like watership down, ginga densetsu gin and weed series, how everyone loves warrior cats. It just makes me happy to think about, as a teen I was made fun of very hard for being into warriors and gave it up! Now late 20's everyone is into it, just fuck haha. I was WAY TOO EARLY for that fandom I guess. My current mental kick lately has been mostly about watership down and rabbits for stories I want to explore and tell.
Most of the patrons know of my silly take of jackalopes, the cloverse version is called the Clawed Jackalope! Due to them stabby hind toes/claws they use to regularly maim. I have a whole bundle of clawed jackalopes who are dying to tell their stories! But not just the fantastical rabbits, my regular bunnies are thriving and ready to go as well.
I don't expect much to come from it, at this point I'm only looking for joy. Self sustaining joy. But it's pretty much a fantasy version of watership down where the clawed jackalopes live and change up the normal lifestyle quite a bit for the regular rabbits. Helps give them a bit more of a dangerous edge and quite a bit more conflict and loyalty the characters themselves will need to sort out. Makes me grin to think about it, like playing werewolf with my own ocs I guess??? haha everyone is spooked.
Another fun layer to the rabbits, they actually live just out in the wild outside of the Cloverly-Ponies AU I have my ocs. I figure it doesn't make sense to have sparkly/rainbow rabbits in the wild.... but what if the normal setting just had colorful rainbow ponyfolk who colonize there? It makes sense then that pink rabbits exist...? So, that's a whole fun layer I like to think about how the foals/rangers in the pony au learn about rabbits and wildlife around their town.
By making the effort to write this all down I hope to continue to encourage myself to just... write badly. make silly character comics and interactions. just engage with myself. and i hope you all don't mind me sharing that here with you all! C:
so... as you can see, so far everything is pretty terrible. But I will be trying harder to retreat to my imagination. And... that's all. wish me luck? haha...
────────────────────────────
❤ Where to find more of AJ's content.
Flipside; Tail Side Up (Personal work & NSFW content) 18+ only
✦ Flipside Subscribestar
✦ NSFW Twitter
✦ NSFW DA
✦ ToyHouse
✦ AOOO
✦ Amazon Wish List
Clover Coin Designs (SFW Content Feeds)
✦ CloverCoin Patreon
✦ DeviantArt
✦ Ko-fi
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Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 800 x 456px
File Size 387.7 kB
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