If I Wrote About Dog Dicks I Would Get 4000 Hits by lazaruslong -- Fur Affinity [dot] net

News:
September 22nd, 2025- Community Banner by Samashtommy

696
Views

77
Comments

15
Favorites

General
Rating

Download Submission

Category

Poetry / All

Species Dog (Other)

Size 120 x 92

File Size 317 B

Keywords

dog dicks poem poetry rhyme scheme yes i decided to actually do some rhyming for once porn pornography satire sarcasm humor comedy this is really one big joke if you are butt hurt did not read and now look stupid

Report this content

Bad Tags?

Meta Keywords

u_lazaruslong c_poetry t_all s_dog_other

More from lazaruslong

If I Wrote About Dog Dicks I Would Get 4000 Hits

Newer Main Gallery Download Older

If I Wrote About Dog Dicks I Would Get 4000 Hits

By lazaruslong,
posted 15 years ago Rocket Scientist

Self-Explanatory

696
Views

15
Favorites

77
Comments

General
Rating

Category Poetry / All

Species Dog (Other)

Size 120 x 92px

File Size 317 B

Keywords

Meta Keywords

u_lazaruslong c_poetry t_all s_dog_other

Report this content

Bad Tags?

jakejynx ~jakejynx

Fursuit Maker

15 years ago

This is borderline baw.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Deadpan satire is lost on many, including myself.

jakejynx ~jakejynx

Fursuit Maker

15 years ago

Satire's tricky; only works when it's done right.

Nullnostalgia ~nullnostalgia

Art Whore

15 years ago

OLD SPICE ODOR-BLOCKING BODYWASH IS APPEASED BY THIS SATIRICAL POEM OF DOG DICK.

jakejynx ~jakejynx

Fursuit Maker

15 years ago

lmao

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I AM HONORED TO HEAR THIS. TO CELEBRATE I WILL TURN OFF THE SUN. BUT IT WOULD GET TOO COLD SO I'LL MAKE ANOTHER SUN. DOUBLE SUN POWERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. PUH-PUH-PUH-PUH-PUH-PUH-POWER.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Failure is the key to success.

Hipstar ~hipstar

Here

15 years ago

i got it. this was good. i chuckled. faved.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thank you SIR! "I got it." means you win 10.

Sulcharae ~sulcharae

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

Lawl :) Sums it up pretty neatly.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Yep. Concisely.

Mace_Faust ~macefaust

Digital Artist

15 years ago

I came here looking for dog dicks and got this instead...

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

It worked. I apologize.

niteskunk ~niteskunk

Stompy boi

15 years ago

got it

niteskunk ~niteskunk

Stompy boi

15 years ago

by the way will knots be served with dinner tonight

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

If you'd like. For serious: my stomach is in knots right now.

lopside098 ~lopside098

3d Hobbyist

15 years ago

cool story bro

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

thoughtful response bro +1

lopside098 ~lopside098

3d Hobbyist

15 years ago

bro fist?

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

bro double fist!

vixyyfox ~vixyyfox

Writer

15 years ago

*laughs... that was way cute...

V.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thanks.

Xuilla ~xuilla

Electronic musician

15 years ago

lol no

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

SORRY KOBE.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

WAIT KOBE WHERE YOU GO?

maddogairpirate ~maddogairpirate

Writer

15 years ago

Technically, you did write about dog dicks.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Oh no! My career is ruined!

nocturnalrebirth ~nocturnalrebirth

Photographer

15 years ago

made me smile. far too true around here. +fav

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

It makes me want to punch myself in the head when a story not very well written gets hits simply because it has copious amounts of sex in it. This has lead me to the conclusion that I had to experiment. Thank you sir.

Biscuits ~biscuits

Digital Artist

15 years ago

More hits than most of my art and in only 7 hours. :C!

Must be the dog dicks.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

This is now my most popular submission. Blame it on the d-d-d-dog dicks.

Estragon Helmer ~zakorath

illustrator

15 years ago

Somehow I actually like it. It's ironically true. If you did, you probably would get more hits, but it's probably not worth it.

It's clever... in a weird and cynical kind of way...

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thank you. I appreciate one of the few comments with well thought-out criticism and someone who actually got the joke. Seriously: I am refreshed.

Estragon Helmer ~zakorath

illustrator

15 years ago

Well... I do love Irony. And this has it in spades.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I intended for it to, so it's worked. Yay! Beers for all!

AtomicStoney ~atomicstoney

Digital Artist

15 years ago

too many dicks on the dance floor

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Easy to fix, spread out the dicks.

blarginator ~blarginator

Watcher

15 years ago

Fun times. I laughed.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

Irony, is it? Well played, good sir.

In expressing your distaste of the matter, you've managed to create a verse almost entirely steeped in the topic of dog dicks. The real irony is how little hits you will actually get in this dog dick poem.

You, sir, are brilliant.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thank you. 169 hits as of now, almost 50 more than my original most popular submission. I win this round.

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

You have outfoxed me, good sir. I concede.

And I suppose I should add to the counter, since it was a good piece.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

171 now. My plans shall be fulfilled! Thank you for the fine comments!

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

And thank you for your stimulating verse.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

240. My most popular submission by a long shot. I AM RUINED.

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

You have destroyed yourself.

I can only revel from my perch in the lofty realm of anonymity.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

286 later and it is still the most viewed. I must dethrone this.

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

How rediculous. Who would have thought...

I am still amused by the irony of it all.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

310 hits. I'm afraid this submission has reached Peak Oil.

kir !kir

Anthro Artist

15 years ago

Your silly poem has become far too powerful. It will outlive any serious work you ever make.

This is to be your legacy. Embrace it.

Markay ~markay

Photographer, Maker

15 years ago

i came fore the dog dicks, actually...i just came... *insert rim-shot* I did really like it. made me giggle in an manly fashion. *Manly giggle*

Markay ~markay

Photographer, Maker

15 years ago

omg, and i cant spell today... i meant for, not fore

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

That is no problem, because giggling in a manly fashion is a-ok!

Gonn ~gonn

Musician

15 years ago

LOL ! as a furry musician , I agree ! i'm so gonna fave that !

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I should put beats behind this, release the single, make millions....MILLIONS.

Gonn ~gonn

Musician

15 years ago

lol ! millions perhaps, I'm still sure these dick-loving furries ( unfortuanitly i'm one of them. ) wont give a shit ! I'm kind of saying that from experience !

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Ain't nothing wrong with being one of them, just ain't my thang.

[deleted]

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thank you sir.

sammyjean ~sammyjean

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

you are a hero.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

please do not pin this on me. thank you.

PoundPuppy ~poundpuppy

Art Whore

15 years ago

Tuna By: Poundpuppy.

tuna fish tuna fish in my can.
who put you there?
the tuna man?
the tuna man at the canary?
why did they take you from the sea?
I dont even like tuna......

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Tuna Salad By: Lazarus Long.

I eat tuna salad
With pretzels
Tasting so salty
Like the sea in which
They were dragged from
Simply because
Lets face it
Tuna are delicious

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

YES I MADE IT 300!!!

I feel accomplished for helping the success of your most ironic piece in the way you probably really didn't want.

success!!! well written though and full of truth...

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Thank you so much! I have no clue how we shall celebrate this momentous occasion together. Suggestions?

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

I dunno but it's screencapped for a reason unknown to me. We should make a sequel!!! Yes we will do like Hollywood film makers and milk it for all it's worth, but then again prospect of milking dog di- yeah I'm not even gonna finish that joke...

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Holy hell. If you had finished, I would've given at least, like, 20 Improv points.

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

Aw damnit, I was just gonna take a crack at the Saw series anyway =v.v=

Is about as appealing as two more sequels of Saw in 3-D... It was better capped off XD

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I think you have no choice but to go for Saw.

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

It was either that or Halloween, maybe Friday the 13th but Nightmare on Elm St. remake killed that XD

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I can't think of anything good.

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

Nothing good can come of this... Friday the 13th truly is unstoppable. Fox bought the rights since platinum dunes wouldn't progress fast enough, so they're throwing money at it. Also 2012 the world will end, not because the Mayan calendar foretold an ancient prophecy of impending doom but because Universal just threw 200 million dollars at a game to movie adaptation of Battleship... That's right, Liam Neeson fighting fucking aliens in a battleship. This movie will only succeed if the aliens use plastic pegs as projectiles...

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

Battleship makes so much more sense to me now. Either that or I'm currently drunk off my ass. Yeah, I'm just drunk. But still, I'm writing this down so it makes sense when I'm not drunk.

ironblade87 ~ironblade87

Traditional Artist

15 years ago

Hey if Liam Neeson got annihilated with a huge ass plastic peg from space screaming YOU SUNK MY BATTLESHIP!!! I might not have a coronary about the fact that someone threw that much money into a ridiculous idea.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

I'm going to my bank tomorrow with this idea in hand and demanding a loan!

Mx_Scade ~mxscade

Writer

15 years ago

311 is a pretty good number of hits.

lazaruslong ~lazaruslong

Rocket Scientist

15 years ago

And it's probably at it's wistful peak. Lo' if only I could find a similar to reach front street such as this has!

82877 Users online — 1921 guests, 11648 registered and 69308 other

Server Time: Sep 23, 2025 10:52 PM

Want to hide this ad? Log in!

Browse

Search

Support ▼

Log In or Create an Account

Log In
Create an Account

Keywords

Report this content

Meta Keywords

More from lazaruslong

If I Wrote About Dog Dicks I Would Get 4000 Hits

Keywords

Meta Keywords

Report this content

Browse

Search

Support ▼

Community Walls

SUPPORT FA

RULES & POLICIES

SUPPORT

Log In or Create an Account Log In Create an Account

Keywords

Report this content

Meta Keywords

More from lazaruslong

If I Wrote About Dog Dicks I Would Get 4000 Hits

Keywords

Meta Keywords

Report this content

Log In or Create an Account

Log In
Create an Account