Shadows
© 2020 by Walter Reimer


Thumbnail art by  rabbi-tom


There wasn’t enough room in the shower for all three of them afterward.

Varan sat and read from her padd while Meredith and Fuji cleaned each other up, nostrils flaring at the varied odors in the air. She found that she had missed the golden palomino’s scent; Fuji smelled a little earthier, with an acidic tone that reminded her of freshly-sliced fruit.

The memories associated with the scents made her smile, and the vir resisted the urge to masturbate. She had to get cleaned up and get back to her ship.

After reading through a few pages (the author was drawing out the climax, when supposedly the true murderer was to be revealed), she found her attention wavering and shut off the padd. The shower had just shut off, and as she stood up she saw Meredith’s open carryall bag.

She paused, her tailtip flicking as she recognized two items in the satchel.

“All done,” Meredith said as she stepped out of the bathroom still vigorously rubbing a towel through her headfur. She grinned. “I even got Fuji to save you some of the hot water.”

“Hey!” the Komodo monitor said, and the mare yelped as the bull swatted her on the rear with his paw. Unlike the mare and vir, his hide was easier to towel dry. “Aan’ jekin sēj e’ mō, Varan,” he said in Kashlanin.

Varan smiled. “Your accent is improving, Fuji.” She rested the tip of her tail on Meredith’s shoulder. “Are you having bad dreams again, beloved?”

The mare stared, ears flicking up in surprise. “How did y – oh, Deus,” she said, shoulders slumping a little as the tailtip swiveled to point at her carryall.

“Ulnt. I recall why you wear padded hoof covers to bed, Meredith. And when.” She extended a hand, and the mare took it. “I’m sure Fuji appreciates it.” She glanced at the monitor, who nodded while he put his clothes on. “Has it been bad?”

The palomino shrugged. “Not very bad. I’m not waking up in a sweat – “

“You still kick me in your sleep from time to time,” Fuji remarked, pulling on a tricolor Transcosm t-shirt.

“What? You never said anything,” Meredith said.

Fuji shrugged. “I know you’re working through it yourself. Me bringing it up would make you feel bad.”

The mare seemed to sag. Tossing the towel aside she sat on the edge of the bed and looked up at her lovers. “It’s just been one thing after another,” she said. “The war, having to keep to the schedules despite everything . . . Tariano,” she spat. She huffed a sigh through her nose and looked up at Varan. “Kashlani have eidetic memories,” she said. “How do you cope?”

Varan mimicked the sigh and sat on the floor facing her lover, taking her paws in her hands. “It has been hard, yes; I won’t deny that.” Her tail waved to get Fuji’s attention and waved him to sit beside Meredith. “We were rotated to the rear of the battle zone primarily because several of the crew, as well as myself, were beginning to suffer from battle stress. It is hardest on those in command,” she said, her honey-brown feline eyes gazing steadily at the mare.

“It can get lonely,” Meredith finally admitted.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Fuji said, resting a paw on her thigh as his tail wound around her waist.

Varan smiled. “Fuji’s right. Terrans, like Kashlani, are social creatures. And you are fortunate,” and she smiled again as Meredith’s ears swiveled, “because you have a small crew. They are your friends or family, rather than your employees or subordinates.”

Meredith drew a deep breath, and almost sobbed as she released it and closed her eyes tightly. “Who,” and she opened her eyes to match Varan’s gaze, “have you been talking to? Gartabin k’Jen?”

“Yes. He and I have talked, at length.” Varan shifted her weight, her tail coiling up in her lap. “I have also had sessions with the counseling staff aboard the Support ship that had been in the system. We have helped each other, and we have also spoken with our families.”

The mare asked, “Are you twining tails with him?”

Varan laughed. “No. His mate still wishes to speak with me in person before she gives her consent.” The vir got to her feet. “I need to bathe before I am late. Will you think about what I’ve said, demef?” Meredith nodded, and Varan stepped into the bathroom.

Meredith stood up and started to put on a clean pair of panties, pausing as Fuji asked, “Will you tell me about your bad dreams?”

She sighed, gathering up her favorite pink skirt. “Yes. In – in the dream, I’m running.”

“Running.”

“Yes. As fast as I can.” She stepped into the skirt, pulled it up and fastened it. “I’m being ch-chased, by – “

“What?”

She made motions with her paws, as if trying to shape words from the air. “I can’t really see them, but they look like dogs – feral canines, you know?” The bull nodded, and she went on, “They chase me all the way to my parents’ home, and I close the door in their faces.” She shouldered into a shirt, white with pink whorls on it, and started fastening it closed.

“That’s all?”

The mare closed her eyes. “I’m at home, I’m safe – and the annunciator rings.” She swallowed hard and said quietly, “I open the door, and the dogs are still there.” Her tail shuddered. “I usually wake up at that.”

Fuji got to his feet and embraced her, holding her close. She clung to him as he said softly, “When we make this run to God’s Armpit, do you want to take some vacation? Just the two of us?”

She hugged him tighter. “I – I think I’d like that.”

In the shower cubicle, Varan smiled and started soaping her body up more attentively. Kashlani have fairly good hearing, even in a thicker, Terran-standard atmosphere.