Seinfeld © NBC
Proofread by

---

Kramer looked at his apartment door for a moment before heading toward the exit. He wanted to go see his friend Jerry, but the door was locked and he wasn't hiding in another room. It was a shame, since he wanted to grab a bite and talk about his new idea to make a fortune; this time, it would work.

To his surprise, there was a small note taped on the wall at the end of the hallway. Was it another scheme from Newman, or was it just a simple reminder for them all to change their batteries in their smoke detectors?

''We know about the batteries.''

Kramer stopped in his tracks. Was this a simple reminder, or a message that was aimed directly at him? No, no one except Jerry had heard him talk about that particular subject. This was probably just a mistake...

Leaving the apartment block, he wandered around for a while, not sure where to go next. Sure, he could go to Monk's Cafe, but he wasn't craving coffee at the moment and there was no point in sitting there alone.

As he stood around, pondering what could be his next move, a dark bag was placed on his head while a blow was delivered to the back of it, making him lose consciousness. If only he'd forced Jerry's lock...

____________________________________________________________________________
Kramer couldn't see anything, but he could feel that his hands were tied behind a chair back while his legs were free. He could've tried to run away, but he had the feeling that it would be a terrible idea for now. As he counted his options, the bag was removed from his head. It was an empty room, except for the calendar on the wall and the two chairs lined against the back wall.

''Hello Mr Kramer. It seems that you stumbled onto a secret you were not supposed to discover.''

''Who are you? What are you talking about?''

Kramer looked at the man for a moment, wracking his mind about where he could have met that person. All he knew was the person was holding him hostage, although he could've been wrong...

''Oh, how terribly rude on my part. I am Mark, the regional manager for RadioShack. You have been spotted poking around our battery policy.''

''RadioShack? You mean the whole time I was talking about how absurd it is to give your phone number to buy batteries, I was right? Jerry will have a field day with that one...''

''Indeed, Mr Kramer. We gather these phone numbers so we can use them to call people and sell them items they don't need, repeating ourselves until they give in and buy something. Is there an issue, Mr Kramer?''

''Well, I am tied up and just learned about your evil scheme, so pardon me for having some sort of reaction.'' Mark chuckled, making Kramer uneasy. He had the impression something terrible would happen if he didn't act fast enough, like being turned into a battery or even worse, forced to work for RadioShack the rest of his life.

Without thinking about the consequences, Kramer got up and started running, although he was still tied to the chair, passing in front of his confused captor before bashing the doors open.

He was now on the sale floor of a RadioShack. He had to find the exit fast, since he could see the employees were starting to move in on him, to make sure he wouldn't escape to tell his story.

Running, he rammed an employee trying to block his path heading toward the exit, which wasn't hard to find since there were a couple of signs directing to it which worked in tandem with the store layout.

The door opened when he approached them, making a final sprint before reaching the outside world. It was a relief to be outside, but now he had to do something about the chair he was tied to.

''Kramer, what are you doing here? You're tied to a chair now?''

''Oh Jerry, the craziest thing just happened to me...''

"Crazy things always happen to you Kramer; what did you do this time?"

''The batteries Jerry, it's the batteries...''

Jerry looked at him for a moment then smiled. Even though he knew he'd be the butt of a joke, Kramer was still happy to have been listened to and, in some way, saved from RadioShack's machinations. It was strange Jerry was grinning and not helping him, but he was sure that had to be next.

''Oh Kramer, why'd you question the batteries? Everything would've been great if you hadn't poked your nose into it...''

''Jerry, what are you saying?''

Jerry wordlessly grabbed him and brought him back in the store, where the regional manager and employees were waiting for him. Kramer screamed as Jerry left him in the store, not noticing that all the staff waved at Jerry on his way out...