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Fractured Pup - Art by Coff
It has been a couple of years now since this happened.
Me being stuck inside the apartment of the person who I trusted the most.
I have been through a lot together with them, I have been through a lot since then.
Some good, some bad, ups and downs as life tends to be.
But they put me through things that were bad, very bad.
They regret it, they feel sorry and it haunts them till this day, because it was something that happened out of stupidity.
But a sorry doesn't fix me, a sorry doesn't make it right or any less abusive.
Those scars, I will carry them with me forever, but I will live with them, I won't let them keep me down.
Luckily at the time I had two amazing people who had my back, a bunny and a cat.
Inky and Maya were there for me and I'm grateful that they were, since without them, I don't know where I would be right now.
They helped me through all sorts of things, including the abuse itself until I could finally leave the apartment and go back home.
I also got help from them while trying to recover from the abuse. Which got me to where I am now.
My head is still messed up, the way it functions now isn't okay, but it's what it is.
I will live, I will move forward, I won't let it hold me back and it won't stop me.
I might be broken, but I'm not weak, I can do this.
Some people rather forget about bad things in their past, but for me I rather let them empower me.
You can learn from the past even if it was out of your hands.
Hiding from it is an understandable thing to do.
Even if you get help and support, it doesn't make the mental and physical abuse any less severe.
But without facing it, you can't get better and improve yourself. You have to accept it and come to terms with it first.
So yeah, I'm looking back at it, it was a horrible experience for me.
But I look back fondly at it, despite it displaying a lot of pain and suffering.
Me being mentally chained down, my heart and mind being controlled.
Just lost as to what to do, not aware of the abuse even until the very end.
During that relationship I have been abused for months without my knowledge.
Taken advantage of in ways that caused me to be so attached to my abuser that I couldn’t get away on my own..
Luckily Inky and Maya were there, they forcefully pulled me out. They did what they needed to do for my safety.
And for that I'm very grateful and I love them so much, it's difficult to put into words how much they matter to me.
Thank you so much you two <3
Best regards,
Skylar
PS. Please understand that I got this vent piece as something to help me.
The memory is as I said something I hold dear to me, since it allowed me to connect to two very important people to me.
I might not be the same person as I used to before these things happened, but I’m happy the way I am now.
So I can understand you might feel bad for me, but please understand that I’m writing this with a smile on my face.
I might be broken, but that doesn’t mean I’m not okay, it just means I’m different than most, that’s all <3
Also if you ever have questions about this, feel free to ask them. I don't mind talking about this.
I don't let a memory hurt me, so don't be afraid if you want to know more, whether it would be in the comments or in private.
Thank you all for the support.
Art done by the very kind and amazing.
They deserve special thanks for to their willingness to draw this.
Since it's not easy to put someone else's feelings, memories and thoughts on paper.
Let alone visualize it so well, so thank you so much Coff, you're awesome <3
The other two characters are Maya (the cat on my shoulder) and Inky (the horned bunny in the screen).
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Wolf
Size 1500 x 2796px
File Size 4.25 MB
Having been on the receiving of abuse I can get that it can be damaging. But letting it drag you down is to let it win. For me I will never forget it and that man will be on my blacklist until he dies. But I don't not let it darken these times that we live in. I got up brushed myself off and got on my life as I have since 2011.
As the old british saying goes:
Kepp calm and carry on.
As the old british saying goes:
Kepp calm and carry on.
Or in the words of the icons in Death Stranding:
Keep On Keeping On
https://tinyurl.com/y6zhmfld
It might be rough but you always should move forward.
Keep On Keeping On
https://tinyurl.com/y6zhmfld
It might be rough but you always should move forward.
This is really sweet, im glad you got the help you needed. Abuse and trauma isn't the easiest in the slightest. Its awesome you can look back on it and use it as a learning experience and let it make you stronger rather then drag you down, it takes a lot of courage and strength to face things like that.
If you'd like, i am very willing to listen to your story <3
If you'd like, i am very willing to listen to your story <3
Its tough to have things happen and it feels like theirs no way out. I'm glad you have friends who are there and care for you. I know to many friends who don't have that sort of thing and it hurts me that I can't do anything to help, other then talk to them or just interact. :<
https://media1.tenor.com/images/657.....itemid=8178437
https://media1.tenor.com/images/657.....itemid=8178437
Many people don't have that sort of thing because they aren't willing to accept the help. If they would allow for help you would definitely be able to help them, but many people choose to be helpless instead of fight against it. It's why I say that I use my memories as empowerment, since most people try to hide from them and will therefore never get better, those memories will haunt them forever until they face them.
I kind of come at this from a different angle,
I’m deeply sorry that you had to experience this kind of thing, and the lasting effect it has and will have on you even as you bravely manage and take it head on.
But my concern is less about being a victim of this kind of abuse and more...being the abuser without even realizing it..
That’s my biggest fear, that i could cause this pain even if i didn’t realize or intend to
and that scares me.
I’m deeply sorry that you had to experience this kind of thing, and the lasting effect it has and will have on you even as you bravely manage and take it head on.
But my concern is less about being a victim of this kind of abuse and more...being the abuser without even realizing it..
That’s my biggest fear, that i could cause this pain even if i didn’t realize or intend to
and that scares me.
If you're aware of your worries about it, you can actively prevent yourself from being abusive by keeping an eye out for your own behavior and if you're in a relationship, tell your partner about your worries. Communication is important and so is being proactive. I understand the worry, but as long as you're aware of what you do, there shouldn't be an issue.
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