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I know the feeling, and it freaking sucks. I don't know how to help, or even if I can help. All I can think of saying is: You don't need a single driving force to keep going. As long as you have things you enjoy or people that you love, you should be fine. My life up to this point has been pretty aimless. I have no real goal in mind, and no real achievements under my belt. Still, I think that the things to do and the people to love make it all worth it.
Also, I'm positive that your friends care about you and love you. It's not just "Tolerance", they probably DO care about you and your well-being. If you reach out, I'm sure they'll listen, and they will help you as best as they can. Sorry if this wasn't helpful, but hopefully things start looking up soon.
Also, I'm positive that your friends care about you and love you. It's not just "Tolerance", they probably DO care about you and your well-being. If you reach out, I'm sure they'll listen, and they will help you as best as they can. Sorry if this wasn't helpful, but hopefully things start looking up soon.
Damn. This is exactly how do I feel lastly, so I can feel you and understand.
I can also add that my work is even adding more to this in my case - before June I have used to be a digital planner, I had a responsible work, where I could develop more and more. Now? I am nothing more than assistant on another project, stuck to the junior position? Where are even days I got no work to do, so it only increases the feeling of me being useless and worthless.
Heh.
You got my support *Hugs!*
I hope you are - or will be - doing fine!
I can also add that my work is even adding more to this in my case - before June I have used to be a digital planner, I had a responsible work, where I could develop more and more. Now? I am nothing more than assistant on another project, stuck to the junior position? Where are even days I got no work to do, so it only increases the feeling of me being useless and worthless.
Heh.
You got my support *Hugs!*
I hope you are - or will be - doing fine!
A piece of advise that's helped me. You're not obligated to smile and bring joy to others. Do things for others because you want to, not because it's expected, or that you feel it's expected, of you. Even if that means going long stretches without smiling, that's okay. Better that than feigning it.
The smile will return. It might be over something silly and trivial, a tiny gesture or something that only you might find amusing, but when it comes it'll feel genuine and guilt-free. When you feel it, others will sense it and in turn can spark joy in themselves.
The smile will return. It might be over something silly and trivial, a tiny gesture or something that only you might find amusing, but when it comes it'll feel genuine and guilt-free. When you feel it, others will sense it and in turn can spark joy in themselves.
At the risk of sounding cheesy, quoting lyrics from a song I've been listening to a lot the last few days: "You’re bigger than this moment
Might be bent but you’re not broken"
I may not know you, but I know what you are going through. I've been struggling with depression since I was 13 and I am 30 now, so if you do need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on to talk to, I can at least listen.
Might be bent but you’re not broken"
I may not know you, but I know what you are going through. I've been struggling with depression since I was 13 and I am 30 now, so if you do need a sympathetic shoulder to lean on to talk to, I can at least listen.
Hey, feel free to reach out to your friends, family, or a professional if you need someone to talk to about this
It sucks feeling like you can't talk to people because you feel like your actions and feelings burden them...But people care about you enough to not be burdened by it and to just want your best interest
It sucks feeling like you can't talk to people because you feel like your actions and feelings burden them...But people care about you enough to not be burdened by it and to just want your best interest
It's a frustrating feeling to have, to be sure. We're expected to be happy all the time, to act as support for others when in turn, we need the support too. I felt the same in the past so I can relate, Jason.
Just know what we're here for you, ready to offer support if you need it.
Just know what we're here for you, ready to offer support if you need it.
Whoooo boy do i know this feeling...
To say you're wrong would be lying to myself as well, but, you're certainly not nearly as small aa you believe you are. You have thousands of followers and people around the globe who look forward to what you do, who stand by you and appreciate what you've accomplished. Sure in the grand picture we mean as much as a pebble inside of the ocean...
I wish i could say something more positive but this post you've done has basically expressed what i do on a regular basis.
I move through the motions like a robot. Numb to the joys of life and even what i do to cheer up feel like they do nothing more than hold off the inevitable feeling of worthlessness. I wake up, get dressed, go to work for people i hate and deal with college students who don't give a shit about their school or faculty. I come home and try to relax only to realize my job has devoured everything i do. I work from the time everything opens (9a.m) until the time everything closes (9p.m). This torturous repetition has made me numb.
Forcing a smile for others while it means nothing to myself. Why do i exist? To be another cog in a broken machine. Why do i do it? Because i must. Why do i try to exist when i am nothing? Because i want to mean something for someone even if it's as small as supporting them in feeling lime they aren't just there to get up everyday and feel like me.
The path you walk is hard traveled but leads endlessly through a forest of lights and shadows. Your art may displease some but be a driving force to others' for inspiration...
You may not smile as much or even feel as confident in what you do... You may not feel like you're someone in a position to feel like you're someone actually making a difference... But you do have people here who are willing to help you stand back up in any way they can, myself included. I know it means little when you've grown numb to the vast majority of what life offers because people in general are cruel and unforgiving, looking out for themselves... But always hold true to the knowledge that at least some of us who follow you know that feeling of numbing desolation and realization we mean nothing to the world....
And those of us who do know this pain are usually in a mindset of wanting to help others not feel it. It's a painful cycle but in the end, helping others feel better helps us feel better too. If you need someone to talk to, or you want someone to game with or just need to vent. Give myself or someone who has offered a holler. I'm sure we'll respond. Personally i'm on here pretty much daily... Not much else i can do when i work all day 6 days per week lol
To say you're wrong would be lying to myself as well, but, you're certainly not nearly as small aa you believe you are. You have thousands of followers and people around the globe who look forward to what you do, who stand by you and appreciate what you've accomplished. Sure in the grand picture we mean as much as a pebble inside of the ocean...
I wish i could say something more positive but this post you've done has basically expressed what i do on a regular basis.
I move through the motions like a robot. Numb to the joys of life and even what i do to cheer up feel like they do nothing more than hold off the inevitable feeling of worthlessness. I wake up, get dressed, go to work for people i hate and deal with college students who don't give a shit about their school or faculty. I come home and try to relax only to realize my job has devoured everything i do. I work from the time everything opens (9a.m) until the time everything closes (9p.m). This torturous repetition has made me numb.
Forcing a smile for others while it means nothing to myself. Why do i exist? To be another cog in a broken machine. Why do i do it? Because i must. Why do i try to exist when i am nothing? Because i want to mean something for someone even if it's as small as supporting them in feeling lime they aren't just there to get up everyday and feel like me.
The path you walk is hard traveled but leads endlessly through a forest of lights and shadows. Your art may displease some but be a driving force to others' for inspiration...
You may not smile as much or even feel as confident in what you do... You may not feel like you're someone in a position to feel like you're someone actually making a difference... But you do have people here who are willing to help you stand back up in any way they can, myself included. I know it means little when you've grown numb to the vast majority of what life offers because people in general are cruel and unforgiving, looking out for themselves... But always hold true to the knowledge that at least some of us who follow you know that feeling of numbing desolation and realization we mean nothing to the world....
And those of us who do know this pain are usually in a mindset of wanting to help others not feel it. It's a painful cycle but in the end, helping others feel better helps us feel better too. If you need someone to talk to, or you want someone to game with or just need to vent. Give myself or someone who has offered a holler. I'm sure we'll respond. Personally i'm on here pretty much daily... Not much else i can do when i work all day 6 days per week lol
I know this feeling, and I'll keep this short. We all wear masks at one point or another, to hide something or to appear as something else. Its unfortunately something I've done a lot, all the way through high school. Its this feeling of needing to put on a different face to fit in. Truth is, you don't need to.
In my case, all it took was some time and to be my true wacky self to others. Sometimes, for others, it takes some soul searching and some self reflection.
I hope you get better, and know that everyone here is rooting for you and has your back.
In my case, all it took was some time and to be my true wacky self to others. Sometimes, for others, it takes some soul searching and some self reflection.
I hope you get better, and know that everyone here is rooting for you and has your back.
there are people who struggle with this feeling even BEFORE the pandemic brought a lot of lives to a screeching halt.
This is not to devalue how you feel, since these feelings are yours. this is just a reminder that people understand and even relate. I know this mood all too well myself, and it does feel endless somehow. Like the "brave face" or the jester's smile, becomes reflexive. Not what you want to do, but something you feel you HAVE TO with all your peers looking up to you...
let me reassure you. You are NOT alone. *hugs*
If you ever wanna talk, drop me a line. no brave face needed. Just talk, maybe I can help you get some of the repressed, underlying feelings out.
This is not to devalue how you feel, since these feelings are yours. this is just a reminder that people understand and even relate. I know this mood all too well myself, and it does feel endless somehow. Like the "brave face" or the jester's smile, becomes reflexive. Not what you want to do, but something you feel you HAVE TO with all your peers looking up to you...
let me reassure you. You are NOT alone. *hugs*
If you ever wanna talk, drop me a line. no brave face needed. Just talk, maybe I can help you get some of the repressed, underlying feelings out.
Robertge, I am broken too. I empathize with you 100%, and I do mean that in all seriousness and sincerity. I try to be perfect: the perfect son, the perfect employee, the perfect friend. As of late, I've become so numb to the world I've tried to take my own life. I asked myself if it was worth it, and I've finally gotten up the courage to seek help. There are resources out there, and there are people that CAN AND DO listen to what you have to say! If you need someone to talk to, I'm a good listener; we do care about you!!!
Yeah. Anxiety of existing can get pretty bad... really, really bad at times. And with the existence of the Mice Utopia experiment... I won't lie: It's not looking good; Maybe until when/if Earth makes it to the point where the brain gets dotted down to an applicable mathematical science, just so we can make artificial remedies to when the brain starts going crazy from just... existing without anything to look forward to. I mean, if nature can get other animals to live hundreds of years without any problems, there's no reason for humans not to get their heads together an figure it out for the rest of us.
In any case: I'm happy that you still exist, maybe not so much happy for what the apathetic state of the world forced upon you, but... I hope your mental health can improve somewhat later this year despite the scary, boring, and/or dot dot dot things that may come. Thank you for drawing what you draw for all those years (even though I just look at the "sfw" stuff) and... well: keep being your awesome self.
In any case: I'm happy that you still exist, maybe not so much happy for what the apathetic state of the world forced upon you, but... I hope your mental health can improve somewhat later this year despite the scary, boring, and/or dot dot dot things that may come. Thank you for drawing what you draw for all those years (even though I just look at the "sfw" stuff) and... well: keep being your awesome self.
Welp, this is the way i fell sometimes, for over 16 years mate, if i can tel you someting about it, I know it doesnt go better or easier everyday, quite contrary, it gets to a breakin point, and i know everyday seems like another breaking point, a bucle, an infinite cyrcle, but, trust me, it can finally stop at some point, i will not tell you when, or how, because everyone is special in that aspect, the only thing i can tell you... is good luck, have Faith and be Strong, oh, and a little trick, always remember, everything has a Bottom, first learn where is yours, and how far are you willing to go down, the best wishes from a fellow traveller in this crazy world of ours mate
... I know a similar feeling.
The only thing I found that helped was becoming my own validation after basically crumbling into nothing waiting for others to provide the validation and feeling that I needed to stop feeling like garbage.
It's not easy, it's not pleasant and everything is harder than it feels like it needs to be. But it is possible to find a way to make things feel better consistently.
Sorry I can't help in any more meaningful way, and considering where you are it's probably going to get worse before eventually getting better but I do wish you luck in that endeavor.
The people who like you don't just tolerate you, there are those who genuinely like you and your company, it will take a much deeper look into yourself primarily for that to feel as true as it is but please do take the time to learn how much those who care about you actually do. Trust their intent and look at your past with them to reinforce how they want and enjoy time spent with you.
All the things that make you happy are fleeting, but that is true of all things which is why we must strive and struggle to make sure we work towards reinforcing and reigniting new meanings and new happiness's in our lives for when others fall off. It hurts though to lose things so fight to help that which you care about, work through the hardships that get in the way of enjoying what you enjoy and delve into yourself to actually find what it is that you actually care about, not just the layers we have built up but deep down, beyond what is good, beyond what is acceptable, beyond what is reasonable, what actually makes life feel like it has meaning and fight towards that. Your life is yours and sadly only you can figure out what it is that will make you feel fulfilled, loved, happy and content and things are going to suck and be hard even as you work towards those goals but every moment you work towards them is a moment that you are further away from feeling like everything is pointless.
Ohh and I almost forgot the most important part. Be yourself and fuck anyone who would say you aren't worthwhile. If they don't think you are great for being yourself then they are not a friend you should tire yourself out on by being someone else. Find those who like you for who you are and life becomes a lot easier. (Although it is hella scary being honest with yourself to others it is worth what can be lost, since in the end if things are lost for being yourself then they aren't good things for you anyway)
The only thing I found that helped was becoming my own validation after basically crumbling into nothing waiting for others to provide the validation and feeling that I needed to stop feeling like garbage.
It's not easy, it's not pleasant and everything is harder than it feels like it needs to be. But it is possible to find a way to make things feel better consistently.
Sorry I can't help in any more meaningful way, and considering where you are it's probably going to get worse before eventually getting better but I do wish you luck in that endeavor.
The people who like you don't just tolerate you, there are those who genuinely like you and your company, it will take a much deeper look into yourself primarily for that to feel as true as it is but please do take the time to learn how much those who care about you actually do. Trust their intent and look at your past with them to reinforce how they want and enjoy time spent with you.
All the things that make you happy are fleeting, but that is true of all things which is why we must strive and struggle to make sure we work towards reinforcing and reigniting new meanings and new happiness's in our lives for when others fall off. It hurts though to lose things so fight to help that which you care about, work through the hardships that get in the way of enjoying what you enjoy and delve into yourself to actually find what it is that you actually care about, not just the layers we have built up but deep down, beyond what is good, beyond what is acceptable, beyond what is reasonable, what actually makes life feel like it has meaning and fight towards that. Your life is yours and sadly only you can figure out what it is that will make you feel fulfilled, loved, happy and content and things are going to suck and be hard even as you work towards those goals but every moment you work towards them is a moment that you are further away from feeling like everything is pointless.
Ohh and I almost forgot the most important part. Be yourself and fuck anyone who would say you aren't worthwhile. If they don't think you are great for being yourself then they are not a friend you should tire yourself out on by being someone else. Find those who like you for who you are and life becomes a lot easier. (Although it is hella scary being honest with yourself to others it is worth what can be lost, since in the end if things are lost for being yourself then they aren't good things for you anyway)
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