Really rushed image during the last moments of pride month that I think was based on the no-hands boba sipping challenge that was going around at the time...?

I've been fairly open about being pan, but never really about being trans or opening up about it irl. My twitter bio says 'she/they (???)' and the question marks resemble me being constantly unsure about my identity going forward, and not having the time or space to really go deep into it or out myself safely. As I still live in a rural county full of old bigots, if I did come out with something in my current work situation I'd most likely have to burn bridges and start elsewhere with no guarantee of being able to keep afloat. So at the moment I'm kinda stuck and relegated to working locally until I find an opportunity to thrive in something I really want to do, which, I'm no even sure WHAT I wanna do at this point anymore. I might be gender-fluid, but idk. Haven't dug deep enough yet. I just know that there have been so many signs pointing to a desire for a feminine identity that goes beyond simply a sexual one, and, I just don't know what to do about it. I'm scared, because the world seems to want to conspire against anything that isn't according to the heteronormative. I'm too comfortable in my cis white male existence to throw myself into a life of being persecuted for striving to be more fulfilled in myself than living to the standards of old farts who refuse to accept other states of being.

For now I'm just someone who's sometimes a scruffy cat lady online.