Well, visually the comic looks largely good. A bit too much emphasis on the stark profile and front shots, though. Think the only 2/3rds shot you had was on page 4, panel 2, and the only real set of dynamic shot was back in page 2. Great establishment shots of the dojo exterior in the rain in the first panel, but the camera has been so damned close to everyone's faces in these five panels that we haven't had a good look around. Considering this is the climax of a saga, we, the audience, want to be able to see where this showdown takes place. Does dear ol' papa have sword racks, trophy cases, exercise equipment around the area? Maybe even see the inkling of Ninj-mom before her reveal, increasing the suspense, making us feel that it's a trick by the 'evil' father figure to dispatch the son dishonourably.

Writing I'm not going to comment on. I've read your other stories and I know that you know how to build a story and suspense, since this as a stand-alone falls flat, we're at the climax and people are throwing emotions around that we really don't know or care about because we don't know them.

I know that close up shots let you add real emotion to the characters, but if it never leaves three inches from their faces, you're losing the impact of what they can do. Don't be afraid to pull the camera back, let the blocking and the scenery add to the mood. It looks like the dojo is very well lit, but you can use it to your advantage, show Kusabana in the shadows near the door, emphasising his more dark intentions and mission. Put the Father near the light source at the meditation alter, that way the light makes a nod to his nigh-deity status. Put the camera up in the rafters, showing the two speaking at a distance, a bit symbolic about how the father and son have drifted apart. Use a low angle shot from the Father's feet or knees upwards, showing how powerful this person has become.

Okay, I'm not much of an artist myself, and 90% of all my knowledge of this sort of thing comes from my brother who's a Director of Photography in L.A., and reading through books on film and making film, but, comics can be said to be movies in still form. Anyway, take of it what you will, looks pretty good!

meeps, I replied, see below

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, it lacks in a bunch of areas, that's mostly inexperience/fear from me I feel. Hope next time to do better. The camera work could have been alot better. I did too many closeups I feel. And the 6th page I think will have better camera work than most of the rest of the comic.

Kusabana is the pet name for his mate, not his son, *chuckles* I guess I really messed up there if I confused you.

Lighting, I can see what you're talking about. And that's something I need to work on other then just in color, which is when I usually add such things. I have yet to get the hang of hard shadows and such in my sketching.

As I said, thanks for the feedback, maybe my next attempt will come out better. On the whole I'm only marginally happy with this comic and how it came out. Only a few panels really came out well I feel. And I've noticed alot of the things you've pointed out to me now.

Heh, don't worry about most of the stuff, honestly just comes with practice. Personally, I'd watch a bunch of martial arts movies or Westerns (Since Samurai movies and Westerns are near synonomous) and pause during the talking and fighting scenes, showing how they set things up. This classic clip should help, maybe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awskKWzjlhk . While, yes, the damned awesome soundtrack certainly helps the mood out, watch how the camera work sets up the three way stand off. Yeah, you'll be moving a lot faster in a comic, but, see how it starts wide, showing the arena, does over the shoulder shots, shows the gun belts, hands, eyes. This six part page, like I said, seems more like the climax of a greater story, and a good place to practice, really.

Sorry about the mistaken name, heh. It was early and I was groggy when I wrote that.

Yeah, lighting gets a bit harder when you're in the realm of black and white, but, even then, don't be afraid to use some solid blacks in places. Personally I'm not really sure on the methods of cross hatching myself, how to do it at all, but, like I said, don't be afraid of blacks, especially in a comic about ninjas. Just, don't go quite all Frank Miller. But, in a ninja/samurai/assassin type story, the darkness should almost be a character.

I'm sure the next attempt will be better, and don't worry about it. Damned better job doing these pages than I'd ever have the ability to do. You should be happy, looks good!

We'll see how my next one goes, I'm story boarding it out at current, it's got more combat and dynamic scenes.

This is quite deep.

Yeah, I kinda went more emotional than action with this.

Which is good.

Neat, but no epic combat?

That'll come in the second comic I've decided to work on. Story boarding it out currently.