FA+
Shop
1095
Views
Views
47
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / Miscellaneous
Species Leopard
Size 1280 x 996
File Size 228.9 kB
Report this content
More from Kobi
Now let's start with the probably first question needing an answer. No there likely won't be much change about me, I think. But I feel I need to stop hiding/denying something. Considdering how Kobi's been a reflection of my mind this probably does not come as that much surprise. But this pic is representing the confusion I have with myself, and this has been since really early teenage years. I knew early that some of my thoughts, preferences and maners differed from "normal" guys.
While 2020 is a taxing year for everyone, certin things that has happened to me personally these past months that have really made me sail away in my mind even more. Realizing that because of this confussion, the notion of self love has been lost over the last few years. I was doing fine with that in my years 20-30. But today I'm just scared and feeling like a weirdo and questioning every day why?
But to sum it up, I'm a man that never felt I carried masculinity and today I still don't. Every time I remember someone telling me to "man up" it felt like I put on a shell, and it was just strange. Never ended particularily well either regardless of what the occasion was.
Scars from youth don't aid this eiter. All I learned then was to hide and flee, you were a target for the tiniest thing that stood out about you. So this side of me never really got to come forward. When I found this fandom it kinda led to this side of me come out, a freedom of expression.
How the comming years will look I don't know. I've recently decided to get professional aid for all the anxiety and fears and we will see where that leads. It's things I wanna have less off as I know how it... holds me back. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this really. Some honesty to myself maybe? Let's start with that.
Portrait done by the wonderfull and fantastic
neph
While 2020 is a taxing year for everyone, certin things that has happened to me personally these past months that have really made me sail away in my mind even more. Realizing that because of this confussion, the notion of self love has been lost over the last few years. I was doing fine with that in my years 20-30. But today I'm just scared and feeling like a weirdo and questioning every day why?
But to sum it up, I'm a man that never felt I carried masculinity and today I still don't. Every time I remember someone telling me to "man up" it felt like I put on a shell, and it was just strange. Never ended particularily well either regardless of what the occasion was.
Scars from youth don't aid this eiter. All I learned then was to hide and flee, you were a target for the tiniest thing that stood out about you. So this side of me never really got to come forward. When I found this fandom it kinda led to this side of me come out, a freedom of expression.
How the comming years will look I don't know. I've recently decided to get professional aid for all the anxiety and fears and we will see where that leads. It's things I wanna have less off as I know how it... holds me back. I don't know exactly where I'm going with this really. Some honesty to myself maybe? Let's start with that.
Portrait done by the wonderfull and fantastic
neph
Category Artwork (Digital) / Miscellaneous
Species Leopard
Size 1280 x 996px
File Size 228.9 kB
When it comes to masculinity, as society defines it, I'm pretty hopeless myself. I'm a quiet, sometimes passionate
empath with a strong sense of justice, and whose idea of a good time is either a book or a long walk in the woods.
I'm also something of an armchair philosopher, and an expert by experience on depression and anxiety.
empath with a strong sense of justice, and whose idea of a good time is either a book or a long walk in the woods.
I'm also something of an armchair philosopher, and an expert by experience on depression and anxiety.
*Hugs offered if they are appreciated!*
To seek aid for the anxiety is a really good decision. Hope you'll get a good psychologist. I finally did the same a month ago, for my depression.
If you want to talk about it, there's always the possibility of a fika. I've tried to support several gynodysphoric friends.
To seek aid for the anxiety is a really good decision. Hope you'll get a good psychologist. I finally did the same a month ago, for my depression.
If you want to talk about it, there's always the possibility of a fika. I've tried to support several gynodysphoric friends.
*hugs*
I can relate to this kind of anxiety. I'm personally genderfluid, was born female but I get anxious when anyone (except my boyfriend) gives me she/her as pronouns, I wanna be seen as more than just a mere woman... Still I've never felt like I belonged to any of the basic gender norms, I've always felt like an outsider. As for you, I hope you will find happiness.
I can relate to this kind of anxiety. I'm personally genderfluid, was born female but I get anxious when anyone (except my boyfriend) gives me she/her as pronouns, I wanna be seen as more than just a mere woman... Still I've never felt like I belonged to any of the basic gender norms, I've always felt like an outsider. As for you, I hope you will find happiness.
This hits hard. :hugs tight:
It's good to hear you're getting professional support, there's a lot that friends and family can do but there's so much more someone within the field can do for you. I'm going through the same with my therapist.
We're all here to encourage and support you, always remember that!
It's good to hear you're getting professional support, there's a lot that friends and family can do but there's so much more someone within the field can do for you. I'm going through the same with my therapist.
We're all here to encourage and support you, always remember that!
Comments