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More from Ruki-the-Zorua
Here's a story plot, though I want to ask, should this be a story? Do you think I should make this into a story for you all to view? You can comment Yay or nay in the comments.
Category Story / All
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File Size 3 kB
If you want to write a story you should write it.
The story your writing has some good potential and exciting elements.
Be careful though with historic time periods and how fiction lines up with reality as you can create holes in a work. Fiction is fiction, but research and careful choosing can help a lot.
In writing you need to think of logic holes and how they add up. How the audience sees things.
Feudal Japan is a well researched and known time period. Of course these two clans are fictional amongst many clans so there is room to explore. You should pick an earlier period, because later periods of the Feudal periods such as the Edo, despite fun are highstakes in concern of clan warfare and involvement.
1. The White Lotus was a real thing in feudal Japan briefly, not a clan, but a religious movement the came over from China.
Rakoshen is a Ukrainian word and not Japanese, the roots and stems don't really exist that way. Language and function needs to match. You also spell this Japanese like name and leave White Lotus in English. Not to say they could not have Serbian/Slavic influence.
"Dark Chi Tribe," in writing fiction there is something called "obsifucating evil stupidity," pretty much it is when an antagonist gets filled with its own tropes it stops them from being scary.. Names hold power in a tale and in the minds of the audience. Say "Dark chi tribe" three times out loud fast, try not to laugh. So think back to names and function, what do you want to the audience to feel and express with this antagonist group. Again you mention the one in a Japanese esque name and this one in English.
You mention purgatory in this work, it is not part of the Shinto Buddhist mythspace it makes little sense in the context use here.
Finally the mongoose is not native to Japan during the feudal periods, but was brought over in more modern history, so this is another logic issue.
Still, some good story elements in vengeance, character, lose of home, and battle for home against darkness. You perhaps should try a graphic novel.
The story your writing has some good potential and exciting elements.
Be careful though with historic time periods and how fiction lines up with reality as you can create holes in a work. Fiction is fiction, but research and careful choosing can help a lot.
In writing you need to think of logic holes and how they add up. How the audience sees things.
Feudal Japan is a well researched and known time period. Of course these two clans are fictional amongst many clans so there is room to explore. You should pick an earlier period, because later periods of the Feudal periods such as the Edo, despite fun are highstakes in concern of clan warfare and involvement.
1. The White Lotus was a real thing in feudal Japan briefly, not a clan, but a religious movement the came over from China.
Rakoshen is a Ukrainian word and not Japanese, the roots and stems don't really exist that way. Language and function needs to match. You also spell this Japanese like name and leave White Lotus in English. Not to say they could not have Serbian/Slavic influence.
"Dark Chi Tribe," in writing fiction there is something called "obsifucating evil stupidity," pretty much it is when an antagonist gets filled with its own tropes it stops them from being scary.. Names hold power in a tale and in the minds of the audience. Say "Dark chi tribe" three times out loud fast, try not to laugh. So think back to names and function, what do you want to the audience to feel and express with this antagonist group. Again you mention the one in a Japanese esque name and this one in English.
You mention purgatory in this work, it is not part of the Shinto Buddhist mythspace it makes little sense in the context use here.
Finally the mongoose is not native to Japan during the feudal periods, but was brought over in more modern history, so this is another logic issue.
Still, some good story elements in vengeance, character, lose of home, and battle for home against darkness. You perhaps should try a graphic novel.
Wow.....reading this over, and I'm at a loss of words for once! I thank you sincerely for the advice, for it helps out quite a lot! You are very well educated, and I appreciate having an insight as talented as yours! It is very appreciated! I knew Lotus was relevant somewhere, but I had no clue that it was a movement! That alone really made me think! Quite the stuff there! I'm going to go back and revise some things, just to make it accurate for historical and logical purposes. Thank you again for such in-depth explanations! It is very well appreciated!
Such thing is possible, and it sounds like a good idea as well! I'll go on ahead and improvise the setting as to where it adjusts with the plot and such. That, and I'll revise the Clan names, mainly because now that you point it out, Dark Chi Clan sounds like a band of misfits ready to cause mischief. That, and I took a look at your home page. I can happily say that I am honored to have someone of your in-depth background of knowledge give critique on my ideas!
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