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... aaaaaand TIME!
*Huff... huff...*
Sorry I'm late. Busy being SOPHISTICATED today.
*Huff... huff...*
Sorry I'm late. Busy being SOPHISTICATED today.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Human
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 476 x 1280px
File Size 78.4 kB
I... I can't speak, you just gave me a metaphysical metaphorical metapsychological punch in my breathe bags and I can't talk, damn you and your sophistication, not everyone was born in the back of a pick up going 87 MPH across Idaho while airborne blasting a cover of "I Will Survive" by Elton John and Gerard Way while crashing into Canada to avoid citizenship issues >:(
Mole zits are such a pain in the ass, much worse than tit moles, at least with those you can get on webcam and gross out guys going "SHOW US YOUR TITS!", or creeping yourself out when after popping, the guys are like "Oh baby you remind me of when I was born and the doctor smacked me back into my mothers womb with jar full of used fish anus", but, a pimp has to make money somehow I suppose, not everyone can live on ketchup and crackers.
And as usual, lovin' your cartoon style dude :P, always fun-filled entertainment :D
Mole zits are such a pain in the ass, much worse than tit moles, at least with those you can get on webcam and gross out guys going "SHOW US YOUR TITS!", or creeping yourself out when after popping, the guys are like "Oh baby you remind me of when I was born and the doctor smacked me back into my mothers womb with jar full of used fish anus", but, a pimp has to make money somehow I suppose, not everyone can live on ketchup and crackers.
And as usual, lovin' your cartoon style dude :P, always fun-filled entertainment :D
No problem, sir! I am SO sophisticated right now that, by transitive properties, I can bestow my sophistication until you, and sanction you from suffering from unsophisticated suffocation, instead savouring sumptuousness... *checks thesaurus for a word for "breathing" that starts with an "s" * .... DAMN IT!!! *shrugs and places hand on your shoulder. Suddenly, and inexplicably, you have a thick upper crust British accent, as taste for Beethoven, and an unquenchable thirst for puppy blood.*
And while I can't recall what substance the doctor used to smack me with as I was born, I do remember that the rabbi had to circumcise me twice. Apparently, standard issue dong-cutters couldn't cut it (ooo, PUN!) and he had to go out back to go find his brother, the plumber, and borrow his pipe cutter without washing it first.
...
... okay, just LOOK at the influence you're having on my behaviour, MAN! xD Anyhow, thanks a ton. I'll keep 'em coming, so long as you keep bringing the love and the funk and the... whatever else that unidentifiable substance is.
And while I can't recall what substance the doctor used to smack me with as I was born, I do remember that the rabbi had to circumcise me twice. Apparently, standard issue dong-cutters couldn't cut it (ooo, PUN!) and he had to go out back to go find his brother, the plumber, and borrow his pipe cutter without washing it first.
...
... okay, just LOOK at the influence you're having on my behaviour, MAN! xD Anyhow, thanks a ton. I'll keep 'em coming, so long as you keep bringing the love and the funk and the... whatever else that unidentifiable substance is.
Why jolly good show Charlie, I do say Beethoven was utterly bitching at the bus bus yesterday, why, he fogged me monocles up so raunt that I nearly fell down one of them manholes! I was almost brown bread! And I don't mean toasty either, the pale folk like I absorb too easily you see, and since both me monocles are straight up fucked, I need to go smack the queen 'til she pops me some new ones!
Well... You're lucky :(, my circumcision was held in California, I had two cutters, a hippy touching it with burning incense, and Sarah Palin with a chainsaw, it's... It's horrifying, my penis talks to me all the time, telling me how horrifying it was and how he misses the good old days walking down fifth street in a trench coat, now he feels like a sausage thrown into a ceiling fan :(
Yay :D! Oh baby I always bring unidentifiable liquids and substances where ever I go, I'm like a snail, I leave a funky trail where ever I scoot, scoot, scoot, I'm just glad you find a use for it instead of trying to set me on fire like those Amish tried to do, fucking Amish... I hope they don't see this comment on their computer screens :(...
Well... You're lucky :(, my circumcision was held in California, I had two cutters, a hippy touching it with burning incense, and Sarah Palin with a chainsaw, it's... It's horrifying, my penis talks to me all the time, telling me how horrifying it was and how he misses the good old days walking down fifth street in a trench coat, now he feels like a sausage thrown into a ceiling fan :(
Yay :D! Oh baby I always bring unidentifiable liquids and substances where ever I go, I'm like a snail, I leave a funky trail where ever I scoot, scoot, scoot, I'm just glad you find a use for it instead of trying to set me on fire like those Amish tried to do, fucking Amish... I hope they don't see this comment on their computer screens :(...
Brad Pitt? Is that you?? What on earth are you doing on FA?? Quick, get off! You're sexual life is already the suffering enough ridicule with the public knowledge that you pretended to have sex with Angelina Jolie!
Also, tell your penis that if ever it needs a shoulder to lean on, or a space to just snuggle up in and to cry its salty tears, or discharge, or whatever, my butt is willing to console. It, too experienced a great tragedy involving me, gravity, and a splintery broom stick handle that was, through some sick twist of fate, leaning at just the right or wrong angle at that very moment. Doctors have since gone on to name it "The rapestick angle" after me, and thusly, I can rest assured that I truly left my mark on history if every this whole art thing doesn't work out. :P
Also, tell your penis that if ever it needs a shoulder to lean on, or a space to just snuggle up in and to cry its salty tears, or discharge, or whatever, my butt is willing to console. It, too experienced a great tragedy involving me, gravity, and a splintery broom stick handle that was, through some sick twist of fate, leaning at just the right or wrong angle at that very moment. Doctors have since gone on to name it "The rapestick angle" after me, and thusly, I can rest assured that I truly left my mark on history if every this whole art thing doesn't work out. :P
I AM NOT FUCKING BRAD PITT!
I'M JENNIFER ANISTON!
IN A STRAP ON!
*Thrusts* TAKE IT BITCH! TAKE IT ALL!!! OR I'M GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT HOW ITCHY MY VAGINA IS!!!
Oh I've had that happened many a time, my ass hates me, it's constantly screaming at the top of it's lungs in the middle of the grocery store, it's embarrassing, people start talking to it, I had to stand in the middle of the meat department while it had a three hour long discussion over Uno and masturbation with fifteen old nuns, my legs fell asleep and my milk was so spoiled you could eat it, :(
I'M JENNIFER ANISTON!
IN A STRAP ON!
*Thrusts* TAKE IT BITCH! TAKE IT ALL!!! OR I'M GOING TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT HOW ITCHY MY VAGINA IS!!!
Oh I've had that happened many a time, my ass hates me, it's constantly screaming at the top of it's lungs in the middle of the grocery store, it's embarrassing, people start talking to it, I had to stand in the middle of the meat department while it had a three hour long discussion over Uno and masturbation with fifteen old nuns, my legs fell asleep and my milk was so spoiled you could eat it, :(
Oh no not again! This always happens when people's brains are in my hands!
Quick! Ten CiCi pizzas, stat! *Charges up a defibrillator and clashes them on your meaty chest* no effect! Too much muscle!
Mighty Zeus! Rain upon your powerful lightning and defribullate this mutha!!! ZEUS!!!
*Defribs*
He's alive! He's alive and smoking!
Quick! Ten CiCi pizzas, stat! *Charges up a defibrillator and clashes them on your meaty chest* no effect! Too much muscle!
Mighty Zeus! Rain upon your powerful lightning and defribullate this mutha!!! ZEUS!!!
*Defribs*
He's alive! He's alive and smoking!
Heh... thanks. Honestly, suits feel very awkward, and very out of place at first when you're trying them on for the first time, but trust me, you don't actually look any sillier than anyone else in them. Unless, that is, there are bloodstains, or novelty cuff links on yours. :P
Holy, cow, that's, like, 60% of the whole word right there! HAW! And they said I'd never amount to anything more than 40% if I was lucky, or if I cheated. :P
... or if I slept with whoever's in charge of judging these kinds of things.
... wait... did we...? *rubs head and tries to remember last night*
... or if I slept with whoever's in charge of judging these kinds of things.
... wait... did we...? *rubs head and tries to remember last night*
Well, fuck. You can't have fun popping those. Now I need a hypodermic needle, some Xylocaine and some adrenalin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9dsmFVPDqs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9dsmFVPDqs
I have absolutely no idea. I would have said "anything that would offend a visible minority group" a few month ago, but lo and behold, a few friends got me drunk, stuck a pen and paper in front of me, aaaaannnddd... well, long story short, anyone with Mexican heritage de-friended me on facebook the next day. :P
Toss me a few beers, and we'll see what other lines I'll go stagger across.
Toss me a few beers, and we'll see what other lines I'll go stagger across.
I would, dude, I would, but every time I try to go to work in just a mesh shirt, boxers and crocs on, security grabs me and throws me out before I can even get past the receptionist's desk!
I tried sneaking in the back door, too, but hey had guards posted there, too. They got my number, man. ^^;
I tried sneaking in the back door, too, but hey had guards posted there, too. They got my number, man. ^^;
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