Yaay!, it works, time for a new Nerull story.
Some space issues, might be the .rtf conversion though. You have three lines, should be one or two if you want newschool or oldshcool space formatting.
Numbers like feet, spell them out

“Despite(,) being immoral” is immoral the correct word you wanted to use here? It fits odd in this sentence, and paints the character is a very bad light.

Some character description spread out later would help reinforce character.

As always beware your repeating dialogue chains you fall into. Character blank, dialogue, character blanked, etc. This story you have it the least amount though so you are improving a lot.

I like this a lot, good depth of character expressed and world through them. I love this old world stuff going on.

~Helix

its odd, I wrote it out in Google docs, and only did one space for the paragraph, but for some reason it wouldn't let me upload it until I converted it to that other format. So yes, the multiple spaces I can safely say was a format issue.

Yeah, the numbering I really should have just spelled out, my bad.

That's really weird, I caught the immortal/immoral mix up, and I thought I changed it, but I guess it went through anyway

Yeah, need to work on that.

Glad to know this one is getting better, I'm trying to be more aware of it. I'm always worried that I am being unclear as to whom is speaking, and I feel the need to add in some description to confirm. I need to learn to trust in my writing and my reader to be able to follow along.

Once again thank you for taking an interest in my work, and for all the feed back you provide. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to know that you enjoyed the over all story, and what I am trying to convey, even if my technique need a little work. You have my upmost gratitude.

Hmm, yeah I guess it was the conversion issue for sure, weird stuff happens.

"Glad to know this one is getting better, I'm trying to be more aware of it. I'm always worried that I am being unclear as to whom is speaking, and I feel the need to add in some description to confirm. I need to learn to trust in my writing and my reader to be able to follow along. "

This is the balancing act. It is important to show who is speaking, its fine to not tag every sentence, but tags are needed to not lead to confusion.

Your fight is doing

Acrathia sneered

Imoldra kept

""
Imoldra blank

Back to back.

Changing to a pronoun, starting with the action, starting with the dialogue, starting with adjectives are all acceptable, so just keep mixing it up is building into practice.

So look at this work for places you don't do the back to back to serve as examples is is an excellent resource.