I don't like my voice. I don't mean how my vocal chords make sound. I mean how my thoughts are communicated into words.
I'm not even sure if that's what it is either. I feel like it's the way my brain thinks that I don't like. It's not like I can really control it either. It's kind of like how singers only sings well in their octaval range. There is a limit to how creative I can be despite the infinite possibilites. I can only make so many sounds with my mouth, and in turn, with my head.
Yet there is something I love about dreams. Something that blows me away beyond belief. My dreams expand beyond the limit of my own imagination, or that is what it feels like. It's not that I can't remember them, but it's so hard to describe them in equal detail and magnitude. For example, I had a dream that the clouds were thundering and lightning was erupting, but then they were also jellyfish in a way that was more of a realization than a change in perspective. The lightning was the tentacles that hung loose snd bright. There were also sea turtles swimming in the sky and it was dark like the atmosphere above was actually a sea, with fish and monsters above us- the facade of a blue sky diminished. Although I put it into words, the feeling was far greater for me in the dream. I was there when it happened and I saw it firsthand. I knew the context and the implications of it. There was a story to it, and that imagery was only a piece of the pie. I'd never want to dream the same dream for this reason; it would feel too redundant. I only wish to stretch the boundaries of existence further and in such a way that I can be the one to witness the infinite possibilities of the world that never happened, but happened to me.