A certain incident that happened to me in real life during Judo practice back when I was a little stinker. The original post is sadly no longer available, so I’ll try to rewrite it as true to the OP as possible.
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It was a seriously hot August that year, and I could already feel my feet trying to slip out of my sandals as I walked towards the gym for Judo. The strap on the back of my left sandal was broken, so I had to stop every few steps to try and rewrap the tape ‘holding’ the back in. Every time I did, I could feel the cool breeze as it blew against my sole... and I’d get a particularly strong whiff of the sour, cheesy stench of my pungent feet, which both delighted and concerned me.
Earlier that day at the summer ‘day camp’ they had at the school, I ended up accidentally wafting my sandalled-toes at a girl sitting across from me in the reading room. I heard her sniff loudly a few times before she looked at my feet and just said “Eeeewwww!!!” before sliding away a bit. I did’t really piece it together at the time that they were that bad...
...But when I adjusted my sandal for the 12th time in under 5 minutes and a huge gust of wind blew behind me, I realized just how terrible they were that day. Have you ever had moments where you know your feet reek for certain just by how they feel? For me, it’s when I feel the wind gently blow the sweat down and across my soles. It kinda felt like a long, dry paint brush being sloooowly dragged up my feet, but not in a ticklish way. Almost as if you were gently spreading icing onto a cake. I let out a small shudder from the breeze as I ran towards the gym as best as I could, trying not to be late.
The Judo class was held in a special room in one of the gyms called The Mat Room. As the name suggests, it’s a room covered wall-to-wall with wresting mats... literally. They line the walls at about 7 feet high, 6 inches off the ground for the identical floor mats to slide underneath. One of the really cool things about the Mat Room was that you could book it for different sessions and the out-of-school care groups usually booked them pretty often, so we had a place to run around, bounce off the walls, goof off... it was a really cool place to hang out.
The other cool thing about it was, because of the mats in the room, you had to be barefoot in the Mat Room, so it always stunk of feet. Always...! 😏
I remember a few occasions of not just myself, but other kids stinking up the room after a particularly active day. Usually it was by accident, but someone would always complain about someone’s stinky feet being in their face, prompting laughter from everyone else. Back in Grade 4, a girl who was a grade under me used to practice cartwheels there, but she wore the same flats without socks every day, so she’d end up randomly scenting the air with her stinking soles whenever she’d go by. She almost tumbled into me on one occasion, but I put my arm up to stop her feet so instead they rested on my forearm, a few inches from my face... 😳 I couldn’t help but get a few nosefuls of the harsh vinegary stench as she giggled and wiggled her toes in my face. She said that she’s had those shoes for only 3 months and her mom wants to get her new ones, and then asked me if she needed new shoes. It wasn’t until I sniffed them directly and then told her they stunk that she moved her feet from my arm. I’ll never forget how much the malt vinegar-like reek made my nose tingle.
* * * * *
Fast forward to me arriving at Judo class a few years later in Grade 6 as I undid the straps on my sandals and essentially flung them under a chair in the corner with my feet, before making my way to the far corner of the room. I lay down on my stomach and planted my deadly-smelling in the gap between the floor mats and the wall mats, with my soles against the wall. That way, my foot odour would be mostly contained, and as I started some pushups shortly after, people wouldn’t think twice about my feet placement. With any luck, they’d be able to air out in my corner without arousing suspicion or offending noses.
You’re probably wondering why someone like me would be self-conscious about having reeking feet. Well, for those who haven’t taken martial arts (not that I really did much outside the one year of Judo), every dojo practices fairly strict discipline and rules. One of the major ones in a lot of them is proper hygiene. I took showers regularly but my feet can be seriously harsh on the nose, especially when I was a preteen. And today was a really hot day where I spent most of it playing soccer before my sandal strap broke. When the staff member was taping up my shoe, he actually had to open the window and turn on a small fan to air out the small office, which I couldn’t stop giggling about. Looking back on it, I guess there were quite a few signs that day that I maybe should’ve washed my feet that day... 😅
Anyways, things were going fine..... until he showed up. 😒
So, this guy. Let’s call him Dingus. Dingus was a bully, and a bit of a jackass. He had a rough upbringing which was kinda common in the area where we lived, but he didn’t even think twice about trying to throw his weight around. He was only in Judo for about 5 weeks before he got kicked out, but he definitely did some damage when he was there. Because it was a mixed ages and mixed gender class, that meant you sometimes had participants’ ages range between 5-14 years old taking that class at the same time. I guess I wasn’t considered a strong student because I’d usually be paired up against the younger students more often than not. The orange belt teacher, who had a bit of a temper, had two kids enrolled in the class, boy and girl, ages 7 and 5 respectively and for whatever reason they’d have to do a sort of 2-on-1 spar against me, but it was like two ants trying to push over a bear. Honestly, it was a bit of a weird class sometimes.
At one point during Dingus’ time in Judo, he ended up basically hucking the little girl really hard into one of the wall mats and the dad was understandably pissed. It was just an excuse for an 8th Grade teen fling a kindergartener into a freaking wall, padded or not. The orange belt literally grabbed Dingus from behind and slammed him by the back of his head against the mat, which prompted the other instructors to immediately step in. That particular incident is what got Dingus kicked out, but the orange belt instructor was kicked out a week later over his part in it. I just figured I’d include that little tidbit to go to show just how nice of a kid Dingus is.
Back to what happened... as I was doing pushups, I hear Dingus stomping towards me, telling me he wanted to spar. Despite me being in Grade 6, I was slightly taller than him so I stood out a bit in class. I told him that I was stretching and warming up but that we could spar later. He wasn’t having any of it and kept insisting. Eventually he reached down and grabbed me by the back of my gi and yanked me forward a bit before trying to grab me from behind. I managed to kick his hand away and roll onto my back, but then the sensei broke us up, saying that we weren’t sparring yet but because we were so eager that we could go first. Dingus grinned at me because he got what he wanted. All I could think was “Crap... 😥”
* * * * *
Me and Dingus squared up in the middle of the room, with everyone in sitting position watching us. He was taunting me, saying I was going to regret now wanting to spar earlier. I could feel my feet were still excessively sweaty, but I was sure that as long as he didn’t go for my legs, my secret should be safe. Right when the sensei said to start, Dingus immediately dove at my feet and tried to sweep my right leg. Double crap!
He takes me down to the mat, and then tries to flip me over on my stomach to put me in a Kurt Angle-style ankle lock, even though it’s Judo and not WWF. In any case, the sensei doesn’t break us up because Dingus didn’t use a proper hold. He kept trying to grab my foot, but it kept slipping out of his grip because of how sweaty my feet were. Eventually he grabbed my pant leg for a better grip and started laughing at me as if he had me. Little did either of us know, I was already unleashing my secret weapon...
As he was holding my foot up near his face and sneering, I had a feeling ofvwhat was coming next, and sure enough...
Dingus: “HAHAHAHA!!! You’re not getting away fr-😤😤😤.... 😳😳🤢🤢🤢 UURGHH!!! What the hell’s wrong with your feet?!?”
He ended up stumbling back and falling on his back, so I took advantage of the situation and grabbed his ankle to try and get a proper leg-hold on him, but because I could already hear the laughter starting, I just threw caution to the wind and planted both of my pungent, cheesy feet directly on his face, splaying my toes so he could become well acquainted with my foot fumes as I felt him squirming under my soles. Because he was thrashing so much, I wasn’t able to get a proper hold on his leg, but his own struggling forced him to take deeper breaths of my foot aroma and at this point, I figured that I might as well let him thoroughly enjoy himself, so I started teasing his face with my nasty toes, using his nose to clean between them.
Dingus meanwhile, was not having as much fun. In fact, I could feel his muffled gags and coughs into my soles as the noxious fumes made him suffer. A few times he managed to pull his face away from my feet and he’d dramatically take a huge gasp of ‘fresh’ air whenever he did, but then he’d always end up underneath my again. The last time it happened before we were separated, he even managed to wheeze out “Not again! Not again!!” before he got one last whiff.
Eventually the sensei broke us up with a disappointed look on his face. As Dingus struggled to get to his feet, he kept sputtering and coughing, and even spat up a bit on the mat despite the rule against spitting in the mat room. His face was bright red and matted with sweat, and he was wiping away stray tears from his eyes as he yelled at me.
Dingus: “What the fuck?!? Do you let skunks spray your feet or something?!? 🤮”
When he said that, everyone (except myself, Dingus, the sensei and orange belt teacher) howled with laughter as the sensei gave us ‘notes’ on our fight. Dingus was scolded for his overly aggressive attacks and was reminded that the goal wasn’t to hurt each other in sparring. When he talked about me, he said that while he appreciated my attempts at trying a proper hold, he told me that “smelly feet are not an acceptable martial arts tactic,” which made everyone laugh even more. Dingus got kicked out of class because he kept swearing after the fact and kept trying to fight me in class. At that point, EVERYONE could smell my feet, so the sensei got orange belt teacher to wash my feet in the hallway.
Here’s the thing about that particular gym. While it’s a truly spectacular place to hang out and do stuff, the washrooms were next door at the pool... which was closed at the time. So instead, I was forced to stand in the hallway while the teacher splashed a pathetically weak trickle of ice cold water from the water fountain directly onto my soles, gagging as he did so.
Normally you’re not supposed to show favouritism towards students, but orange belt constantly praised his kids over any little thing they did... but I guess he had a problem with me because he was always really rude to me, never offering constructive criticism and instead just saying things like how I suck at Judo and I didn’t know how to do certain holds as good as him (bear in mind, this is a 35+ year old man saying this to a 10 year old kid 😐). This time however, he kept saying how disgusting my feet were and how even his 5 year old knows how to take a bath. I told him a few times that my feet always stink, but he just said I was a gross kid and ignored what I said... he really made me feel like crap. 😔
After about 5 minutes of unsuccessfully ‘washing’ my feet, he gave up and told me to stay in the corner and keep my nasty feet away from his kids. Class ended 20 minutes later, and as I tried to hold back tears as I grabbed my sandals under the chair and slid them on, I heard the sensei remind us about the next class and “to make sure your feet don’t stink up the gym” as he looked right at me when he said it. Everyone laughed as I stormed out, feeling humiliated.
Right as I rounded the corner exiting the gym, who should I see lurking in the dark but Dingus, waiting for me. He immediately started storming towards me, looking pissed.
Dingus: “Hey, Skunk Feet!!! You think you can make me look like an idiot in class? I’m gonna beat the shit out of you! 😡😡😡”
At that point, I just lost it. I could feel the emotion building up inside me for a while and I tried to stop myself, but I just exploded at Dingus.
“Oh YEAH?!? You REALLY wanna smell my skunk feet again, DINGUS?! Okay, fine! Come smell my stinky feet!! I’ll smother YOUR FU-f-FUCKING FACE and make you lick them clean!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬” My voice was cracking and shaky, but he got the message loud and clear. He looked disgusted at the suggestion as he started to back away.
Dingus: “You’re a fucking psychopath! 😨😠” he said to me before he left.
“Oh yeah?! At least my FACE doesn’t SMELL LIKE SKUNK FEET!!!!” I screamed back right as the sensei came out from the gym. He came over to me and asked me if I was okay. I honestly don’t really remember much after being asked if I was okay. I’m pretty sure I walked home on my own, but maybe I got a ride home because I remember having a cookie from the vegan bakery near the school (I’m not vegan, it’s just the closest bakery).
In any case, when I got home I basically just kicked off my shoes, had some cheese toast, then just curled up under the covers with my cold, wet, shivering, stinky feet and just cried myself to sleep...
————————————
Looking back on the incident, I’m glad it happened because not only was that the first time that someone told me my feet smelt as bad as a skunk, but I also stood up for myself, albeit in my own weird, stinky way. 😅 I definitely felt terrible when it happened, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy forcing Dingus to smell my stinky feet.
————————————
It was a seriously hot August that year, and I could already feel my feet trying to slip out of my sandals as I walked towards the gym for Judo. The strap on the back of my left sandal was broken, so I had to stop every few steps to try and rewrap the tape ‘holding’ the back in. Every time I did, I could feel the cool breeze as it blew against my sole... and I’d get a particularly strong whiff of the sour, cheesy stench of my pungent feet, which both delighted and concerned me.
Earlier that day at the summer ‘day camp’ they had at the school, I ended up accidentally wafting my sandalled-toes at a girl sitting across from me in the reading room. I heard her sniff loudly a few times before she looked at my feet and just said “Eeeewwww!!!” before sliding away a bit. I did’t really piece it together at the time that they were that bad...
...But when I adjusted my sandal for the 12th time in under 5 minutes and a huge gust of wind blew behind me, I realized just how terrible they were that day. Have you ever had moments where you know your feet reek for certain just by how they feel? For me, it’s when I feel the wind gently blow the sweat down and across my soles. It kinda felt like a long, dry paint brush being sloooowly dragged up my feet, but not in a ticklish way. Almost as if you were gently spreading icing onto a cake. I let out a small shudder from the breeze as I ran towards the gym as best as I could, trying not to be late.
The Judo class was held in a special room in one of the gyms called The Mat Room. As the name suggests, it’s a room covered wall-to-wall with wresting mats... literally. They line the walls at about 7 feet high, 6 inches off the ground for the identical floor mats to slide underneath. One of the really cool things about the Mat Room was that you could book it for different sessions and the out-of-school care groups usually booked them pretty often, so we had a place to run around, bounce off the walls, goof off... it was a really cool place to hang out.
The other cool thing about it was, because of the mats in the room, you had to be barefoot in the Mat Room, so it always stunk of feet. Always...! 😏
I remember a few occasions of not just myself, but other kids stinking up the room after a particularly active day. Usually it was by accident, but someone would always complain about someone’s stinky feet being in their face, prompting laughter from everyone else. Back in Grade 4, a girl who was a grade under me used to practice cartwheels there, but she wore the same flats without socks every day, so she’d end up randomly scenting the air with her stinking soles whenever she’d go by. She almost tumbled into me on one occasion, but I put my arm up to stop her feet so instead they rested on my forearm, a few inches from my face... 😳 I couldn’t help but get a few nosefuls of the harsh vinegary stench as she giggled and wiggled her toes in my face. She said that she’s had those shoes for only 3 months and her mom wants to get her new ones, and then asked me if she needed new shoes. It wasn’t until I sniffed them directly and then told her they stunk that she moved her feet from my arm. I’ll never forget how much the malt vinegar-like reek made my nose tingle.
* * * * *
Fast forward to me arriving at Judo class a few years later in Grade 6 as I undid the straps on my sandals and essentially flung them under a chair in the corner with my feet, before making my way to the far corner of the room. I lay down on my stomach and planted my deadly-smelling in the gap between the floor mats and the wall mats, with my soles against the wall. That way, my foot odour would be mostly contained, and as I started some pushups shortly after, people wouldn’t think twice about my feet placement. With any luck, they’d be able to air out in my corner without arousing suspicion or offending noses.
You’re probably wondering why someone like me would be self-conscious about having reeking feet. Well, for those who haven’t taken martial arts (not that I really did much outside the one year of Judo), every dojo practices fairly strict discipline and rules. One of the major ones in a lot of them is proper hygiene. I took showers regularly but my feet can be seriously harsh on the nose, especially when I was a preteen. And today was a really hot day where I spent most of it playing soccer before my sandal strap broke. When the staff member was taping up my shoe, he actually had to open the window and turn on a small fan to air out the small office, which I couldn’t stop giggling about. Looking back on it, I guess there were quite a few signs that day that I maybe should’ve washed my feet that day... 😅
Anyways, things were going fine..... until he showed up. 😒
So, this guy. Let’s call him Dingus. Dingus was a bully, and a bit of a jackass. He had a rough upbringing which was kinda common in the area where we lived, but he didn’t even think twice about trying to throw his weight around. He was only in Judo for about 5 weeks before he got kicked out, but he definitely did some damage when he was there. Because it was a mixed ages and mixed gender class, that meant you sometimes had participants’ ages range between 5-14 years old taking that class at the same time. I guess I wasn’t considered a strong student because I’d usually be paired up against the younger students more often than not. The orange belt teacher, who had a bit of a temper, had two kids enrolled in the class, boy and girl, ages 7 and 5 respectively and for whatever reason they’d have to do a sort of 2-on-1 spar against me, but it was like two ants trying to push over a bear. Honestly, it was a bit of a weird class sometimes.
At one point during Dingus’ time in Judo, he ended up basically hucking the little girl really hard into one of the wall mats and the dad was understandably pissed. It was just an excuse for an 8th Grade teen fling a kindergartener into a freaking wall, padded or not. The orange belt literally grabbed Dingus from behind and slammed him by the back of his head against the mat, which prompted the other instructors to immediately step in. That particular incident is what got Dingus kicked out, but the orange belt instructor was kicked out a week later over his part in it. I just figured I’d include that little tidbit to go to show just how nice of a kid Dingus is.
Back to what happened... as I was doing pushups, I hear Dingus stomping towards me, telling me he wanted to spar. Despite me being in Grade 6, I was slightly taller than him so I stood out a bit in class. I told him that I was stretching and warming up but that we could spar later. He wasn’t having any of it and kept insisting. Eventually he reached down and grabbed me by the back of my gi and yanked me forward a bit before trying to grab me from behind. I managed to kick his hand away and roll onto my back, but then the sensei broke us up, saying that we weren’t sparring yet but because we were so eager that we could go first. Dingus grinned at me because he got what he wanted. All I could think was “Crap... 😥”
* * * * *
Me and Dingus squared up in the middle of the room, with everyone in sitting position watching us. He was taunting me, saying I was going to regret now wanting to spar earlier. I could feel my feet were still excessively sweaty, but I was sure that as long as he didn’t go for my legs, my secret should be safe. Right when the sensei said to start, Dingus immediately dove at my feet and tried to sweep my right leg. Double crap!
He takes me down to the mat, and then tries to flip me over on my stomach to put me in a Kurt Angle-style ankle lock, even though it’s Judo and not WWF. In any case, the sensei doesn’t break us up because Dingus didn’t use a proper hold. He kept trying to grab my foot, but it kept slipping out of his grip because of how sweaty my feet were. Eventually he grabbed my pant leg for a better grip and started laughing at me as if he had me. Little did either of us know, I was already unleashing my secret weapon...
As he was holding my foot up near his face and sneering, I had a feeling ofvwhat was coming next, and sure enough...
Dingus: “HAHAHAHA!!! You’re not getting away fr-😤😤😤.... 😳😳🤢🤢🤢 UURGHH!!! What the hell’s wrong with your feet?!?”
He ended up stumbling back and falling on his back, so I took advantage of the situation and grabbed his ankle to try and get a proper leg-hold on him, but because I could already hear the laughter starting, I just threw caution to the wind and planted both of my pungent, cheesy feet directly on his face, splaying my toes so he could become well acquainted with my foot fumes as I felt him squirming under my soles. Because he was thrashing so much, I wasn’t able to get a proper hold on his leg, but his own struggling forced him to take deeper breaths of my foot aroma and at this point, I figured that I might as well let him thoroughly enjoy himself, so I started teasing his face with my nasty toes, using his nose to clean between them.
Dingus meanwhile, was not having as much fun. In fact, I could feel his muffled gags and coughs into my soles as the noxious fumes made him suffer. A few times he managed to pull his face away from my feet and he’d dramatically take a huge gasp of ‘fresh’ air whenever he did, but then he’d always end up underneath my again. The last time it happened before we were separated, he even managed to wheeze out “Not again! Not again!!” before he got one last whiff.
Eventually the sensei broke us up with a disappointed look on his face. As Dingus struggled to get to his feet, he kept sputtering and coughing, and even spat up a bit on the mat despite the rule against spitting in the mat room. His face was bright red and matted with sweat, and he was wiping away stray tears from his eyes as he yelled at me.
Dingus: “What the fuck?!? Do you let skunks spray your feet or something?!? 🤮”
When he said that, everyone (except myself, Dingus, the sensei and orange belt teacher) howled with laughter as the sensei gave us ‘notes’ on our fight. Dingus was scolded for his overly aggressive attacks and was reminded that the goal wasn’t to hurt each other in sparring. When he talked about me, he said that while he appreciated my attempts at trying a proper hold, he told me that “smelly feet are not an acceptable martial arts tactic,” which made everyone laugh even more. Dingus got kicked out of class because he kept swearing after the fact and kept trying to fight me in class. At that point, EVERYONE could smell my feet, so the sensei got orange belt teacher to wash my feet in the hallway.
Here’s the thing about that particular gym. While it’s a truly spectacular place to hang out and do stuff, the washrooms were next door at the pool... which was closed at the time. So instead, I was forced to stand in the hallway while the teacher splashed a pathetically weak trickle of ice cold water from the water fountain directly onto my soles, gagging as he did so.
Normally you’re not supposed to show favouritism towards students, but orange belt constantly praised his kids over any little thing they did... but I guess he had a problem with me because he was always really rude to me, never offering constructive criticism and instead just saying things like how I suck at Judo and I didn’t know how to do certain holds as good as him (bear in mind, this is a 35+ year old man saying this to a 10 year old kid 😐). This time however, he kept saying how disgusting my feet were and how even his 5 year old knows how to take a bath. I told him a few times that my feet always stink, but he just said I was a gross kid and ignored what I said... he really made me feel like crap. 😔
After about 5 minutes of unsuccessfully ‘washing’ my feet, he gave up and told me to stay in the corner and keep my nasty feet away from his kids. Class ended 20 minutes later, and as I tried to hold back tears as I grabbed my sandals under the chair and slid them on, I heard the sensei remind us about the next class and “to make sure your feet don’t stink up the gym” as he looked right at me when he said it. Everyone laughed as I stormed out, feeling humiliated.
Right as I rounded the corner exiting the gym, who should I see lurking in the dark but Dingus, waiting for me. He immediately started storming towards me, looking pissed.
Dingus: “Hey, Skunk Feet!!! You think you can make me look like an idiot in class? I’m gonna beat the shit out of you! 😡😡😡”
At that point, I just lost it. I could feel the emotion building up inside me for a while and I tried to stop myself, but I just exploded at Dingus.
“Oh YEAH?!? You REALLY wanna smell my skunk feet again, DINGUS?! Okay, fine! Come smell my stinky feet!! I’ll smother YOUR FU-f-FUCKING FACE and make you lick them clean!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬” My voice was cracking and shaky, but he got the message loud and clear. He looked disgusted at the suggestion as he started to back away.
Dingus: “You’re a fucking psychopath! 😨😠” he said to me before he left.
“Oh yeah?! At least my FACE doesn’t SMELL LIKE SKUNK FEET!!!!” I screamed back right as the sensei came out from the gym. He came over to me and asked me if I was okay. I honestly don’t really remember much after being asked if I was okay. I’m pretty sure I walked home on my own, but maybe I got a ride home because I remember having a cookie from the vegan bakery near the school (I’m not vegan, it’s just the closest bakery).
In any case, when I got home I basically just kicked off my shoes, had some cheese toast, then just curled up under the covers with my cold, wet, shivering, stinky feet and just cried myself to sleep...
————————————
Looking back on the incident, I’m glad it happened because not only was that the first time that someone told me my feet smelt as bad as a skunk, but I also stood up for myself, albeit in my own weird, stinky way. 😅 I definitely felt terrible when it happened, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy forcing Dingus to smell my stinky feet.
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