crim you're so close
just reach with your doggie arms

And so Crim thought fast, quickly. Reaching for the sweater of love stitched in every stitch. He leaned in closer and with a gleam of hope, he opened his gaping claw and swiped for the prize collection, but victory was not his.

And so the chase continued, five times over.

until wheels were worn to bent wire frames and feet were beaten to a soft bony pulp. Crim dismounted his steed and approached his beloved sweater, glaring at it as though it were his dying spawn (and perhaps it was). He knelt down gently, maybe in an attempt to calm his injured child.

THEN HE SHOT EVAN IN THE FACE WITH A GUN

-cuts gun in twain-

With a look of smug on his face, he put his weapon of choice back into whatever hell hole he grabbed the creation from. Crim eyed the corpse of the dying man in front of him on the ground beneath him. He spoke in a terrifying voice that quickened the death of the interloper. "You were good, kid. Real good."

With those words of wisdom, he took off, guns blazing, into the sunset to return to the zoo.

Above him on the starry sky, Crim gazed upwards and looked knowingly into the stars and realized: what the hell.

ducky needed to think real fast. crim was coming home soon, and he hadn't the clue as to what it was the crim beast wanted for dinner.

"BITCH. I'M BACK. FUCKING. EVERYTHING."

crim was angry, he just chased a hooligan at 200 mph and needed some rest.

"oh boy, crim, you're home. would you like any of that meatloa-"

"THAT MEATLOAF YOU MADE LAST NIGHT WASN'T MEAT AT ALL, BUT MY SHIIIITTTT."

ducky returned to his room, to cry into his palms and rethink this marriage.

"also, where are my pants"

His legs are too impressive.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS STORY

I like how his legs are spinning like da choppa

i just rediscovered this