art done by  TheBigSlick

I told myself I'd post this when I had the right words for it, not sure if I actually do but I'll try anyway.

Life has certainly been weird, I'm moving forward and doing okay but like most folks say, life never turns out quite how you expect it to. I've made decisions every day to get me to the point I'm at right now. Some of those decisions I regret but I'd say that far more have been pretty sound and I wouldn't mind making them again.

I've done a lot in a fairly short time; made a whole lot of good friends, grown as a professional in the medical field and found my niche within it, deepened my relationship with my family, and through a process of what I could only consider trial and error I'm slowly growing. I'm finding that the things that I used to really lament have become less pressing and through the time I've been here, I've developed resilience and an appreciation for what I have and can do for other people. I'm really glad I have what I have and I'm thankful I can share that too.

I remember commissioning this piece right when I was bummed to the point of not really feeling much at all. The sad was there but it wasn't a particularly strong feeling, it was more like just this weird neutral zone of having nothing on my mind despite every attempt to find at least something to make me feel anything. I gotta say that feeling or lack therof is the most eerie and unsettling sensation I have ever experienced but it did give me a sense of what I could feel like if I just sortof gave up.

I don't think I want to give up anytime soon.

Sorry if I'm getting blathery here, I don't think I've really spilled my guts in a while and this seemed like a good time to do it. To reference the art that goes with this sentiment, I really really like just laying back and thinking. Introspection is nice, it's like a mental inventory or time to sit and sort through all the thoughts of the day week or whatever happens to be floating around in my skull. Storms at night have always been my favorite time to do this since it's seldom anyone has anything pressing to do outside at night in a storm. I'm thankful for times I get to experience laying back, listening, and taking stock of things. Just remember not to dwell on things for too long, I'm trying hard to take my own advice with that as examining a thought is constructive, ruminating on it is not.

Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. Sorry if I was a little all over the place, I think that's just the nature of thinking about this stuff :)