its been nearly 3 years since i lost my best friend, i was such a hateful manipulative person back then. I cant blame them for cutting me out of their life. i was toxic and going through my own shit, selfish angry got the best of me and i snapped on them saying such horrible things ive apologized but we never fixed things. i think of them often but try to let it be i know i wasnt good for them but i guess it was just the first time my heart was broken by a friend. it still hurts to this day. recently mutual friends tried to get a group back together and they where in the group and just kinda brought back alot of the pain i try to suppress. ill forever be sorry for all i did wrong, and always hold on to the love i felt for them. ill cherish our good memories. They will always be the best friend i have ever had. i miss them dearly and im so so sorry.