So late one night my girlfriend then roommate was trying to figure out how to work cafepress. Now I'd been drinking for a few hours when she pestered me so fueled on rum and the desire to stop being pestered I drew her what was in my heart....

My heart is apparently a drunk pink snail. We had a poster of this in our apartment for a few years. He was often blamed for things going wrong. Damn you pink snail.

.....

I need medicated.