I had found myself frustrated, that I have grown... away from the joys of just creating something, anything.

And caught myself in a loop thinking that each one must be better than the last, to be more than ever.

Yet, it stands purposeless, and devoid of any meaning.

I know this may be off-putting. I fear it is.

But, knowing just that - to subject myself to the whims of something I cannot truly know?

Did I not free myself from such a past? So why again am I enthralled by how I might look to others?

In truth, it is because I am foolish.

So why not lean into it? Why not do something because I want to?

I have still much to learn and I am weak.
But I fear not my weaknesses.

I must only learn to accept them in their fleeting moments.
Else I will fall prey to the selfsame things that held me down before.

And who knows?
In the end, maybe I would be wrong and ostracized for being so.
...but for now I am hopeful.

I want to learn to become me.