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A little short Paw/vore story between my fursona, seen here...
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3843692
and one of
four wolf Chefs. Just a little introduction before we really get into it.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3843692
and one of
four wolf Chefs. Just a little introduction before we really get into it.
Category Story / Vore
Species Wolf
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 7.9 kB
Not bad, but a little bit of constructive criticism.
1. There's no need to put * for censoring. We know what word is, there's no need to censor it.
2. Alvin's line "...I are going to be closer than any two anthros have ever been." There's absolutely no need to use the word "Anthro" in neither dialog or narrative, because you are already using animals with human characteristics and we know this, saying the word "Anthro" or "Furry" in dialog or narrative defeats that purposes.
1. There's no need to put * for censoring. We know what word is, there's no need to censor it.
2. Alvin's line "...I are going to be closer than any two anthros have ever been." There's absolutely no need to use the word "Anthro" in neither dialog or narrative, because you are already using animals with human characteristics and we know this, saying the word "Anthro" or "Furry" in dialog or narrative defeats that purposes.
I appreciate the criticism. Here is my response.
1: Alright, I can respect that.
2: I felt that word is just fine. The reason being because they have human traits without being human. Like if a character said "That's inhuman", it wouldn't work because they aren't all human. They also aren't all animal. For example, in SWAT Kats, we have the Kats, but there are also regular cows, frogs, birds ect. In your series, there are regular fish and birds too. Calling them animals puts the more evolved species and the regular animals on the same level. So that term is what I use to replace "human" and "animal". But I suppose I could have used "Any two people" or something like that.
1: Alright, I can respect that.
2: I felt that word is just fine. The reason being because they have human traits without being human. Like if a character said "That's inhuman", it wouldn't work because they aren't all human. They also aren't all animal. For example, in SWAT Kats, we have the Kats, but there are also regular cows, frogs, birds ect. In your series, there are regular fish and birds too. Calling them animals puts the more evolved species and the regular animals on the same level. So that term is what I use to replace "human" and "animal". But I suppose I could have used "Any two people" or something like that.
"Inanthro" doesn't sound right and having the word "Anthro", even replacing it with the instance of "Human" still defeats the overall purpose of writing about talking animals.
You don't want to alienate your readers by repeatedly having "Anthro" in each narrative and dialog. Refer to their species or species traits (Whiskers, howling, etc...) if needed, and instead of "Man" or "Women", use similar words like "Males", "Females", "Ladies", "Gents/Gentleman", and so on.
This way readers will know/remember that they are animals with their physical appearance intact and display human intelligence.
You don't want to alienate your readers by repeatedly having "Anthro" in each narrative and dialog. Refer to their species or species traits (Whiskers, howling, etc...) if needed, and instead of "Man" or "Women", use similar words like "Males", "Females", "Ladies", "Gents/Gentleman", and so on.
This way readers will know/remember that they are animals with their physical appearance intact and display human intelligence.
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