There is an underground society out there. It's members are only spiders, and those lil' bastards are out for ME. But like any great villain they aren't out to destroy me. Oh no, that would be too good for a wretched non-arachnid like myself. No they want to do more.. but first they want to break me. They want to get in my head and chisel away at my sanity.

I'M NOT CRAZY.

Pic 1.. I was going to brush my teeth this morning, as I tend to do, when I came across this specimen resting in the sink. He didn't SAY anything to me, but he didn't have to because actions speak far louder than words..

Pic 2 .. I was immediately wary of this crab-like beast and kept my distance, but I couldn't help but notice he was missing a leg. As soon as I saw this he began to turn towards me. Now I don't actually speak spider, but the look he gave me was basically “Hey, you have two good legs. I've only got seven.”. Mind you it was only a look, but the breakneck speed to which this frightening beast swiveled to me let me in at once on it's intention to gnaw my leg off at the hip.

Pic 3. It could be the acoustics of the bathroom that threw me off along with my mind going crazy with fear, but at this point I'm not sure if it was the spider or me that was letting loose a blood curdling scream. (But I sure as hell wouldn't put it past this spider to pull such a trick). The only thing I truly recall was that even though he was moving up the side of the sink towards me at the speed of a dead leaf being pushed by hurricane powered winds my adrenaline surged perceptions saw every predatory step this f**ker was making towards me in f-ing bullet time. I feared for my legs, and thus I used them to get the hell out of there.