I had been gone! again... a loss of a pet, a best friend of 15 years broke me, as i dont want to go into details, ive already repressed it, because i wasn't able to cope with it. It came like an avalanche, to the point of feeling like not being on an existing plane. those weeks of constant vet visits and medication were.. yeah
There's another thing that i want to talk about, but i'll post a journal regarding it, it's something that i had to come to realization by myself, something that took incredibly long time from me. I wrote a sort of a 'manifesto' as much as i hate the word, but i hope it could help somebody else to realize their situation sooner than i did.
Also whoops, my tablet died and I've been bawling and trying to repair it myself, but thanks wacom for making sure that the cheaper end tablets arent possible to be repaired (no screws, no way to open the protective case and access the sensor), tried multiple ways to fix it, nothing. At least I still have my 11 years old wacom bamboo, which had pen issues, which i had to try diy to fix it. Fixed the old issue by replacing the old nib with the intuos draw one (but the nibs are different size), but that created an entirely new one by having the sensitivity all messed up, but ill keep trying to fix it, either by driver config or diy stuff again. it's hopeful and its the first time in a month ive felt hopeful about something

and internet is lagging badly while the bill has raised, dang it

why is 2020 so.. so bad?

but ey cyberpunk 2077 is around the corner
i feel nauseous, ill get back on tomorrow, night