some personal stuff
I was silent for a long time and tbh feel not enough secure to post all the story here
who's interested - welcome to https://t.me/tabialio , I've wrote details on my telegram channel

just gonna say it's okay when you feel shitty
it's okay to be unproductive for a really long time
it's okay to cry a lot and think terrible things about yourself
it's okay because you're alive and shit happens
Also you have to know t to know it's not your fault and you have a right for help. Your failures does not define you. And it's not the end. Things gonna change, trauma can be cured, disease can be defeated or taken under control. There are a lot of stuff you're still can do and feel happy